Maxwell 36: Wearing What Some Might Call an Outer Garment While Dealing with Cancer in the Family

[dripcurl]

I just looked at that mom’s question. Of course, Teri had to answer with having everything scheduled out because, well, Maxhell. But, also because Maxhell, she has a terrible theory of mind and didn’t dissect the question very well in my opinion. I’ve been homeschooled and I have been in public school, and I am the oldest of a family of four kids and we had some crazy age gaps. So, I am wondering why some or all of these woman’s kids can’t take a break every half hour anyway, even if it’s just for a couple minutes. Certainly buy that time amongst 4 kids, *someone* must have to pee, drink some water, or just take a break in general. I don’t see anything detrimental to taking a couple minutes to play with the kid who is having some difficulties. Save for the 6th grader, I can’t think of a time where a kid in elementary school would have to be sitting, focusing on something completely uninterrupted for more than 30 minutes or so except for a yearly exam or some practice for that. Of course I understand that there can be very complicated sibling dynamics, one might not be able to stand the thought of stopping in playing with the kids for a few minutes, etc. I think Teri’s advice of having each kid play with the kid for half hour blocks to help fill up a 3 hour gap is extreme and completely counterintuitive to keeping the peace. A 1st grader should not have to have 3 hours of playtime before doing their schoolwork anyway. During the half hour breaks, the mom could have something simple, that only takes about five minutes, that all 4 kids can enjoy and make the 1st grader happy.

 

No one has to “lose a half hour of school time in order to gain an hour of uninterrupted school time”, as Teri puts it, because 1) You have all day, no one has to lose time in order to gain time for anything. This is a huge advantage to homeschooling, Teri, it sucks that you seem to have not capitalized on that fact as you’ve homeschooled for half a century or however you like to brag about. 2) Like I said, kids that young don’t necessarily have to focus without interruption for an hour anyway. Even if they did, I am wondering why the 6th grader can’t go do their reading or whatever in another room with the door closed.

Edited April 4, 2020 by dripcurl

[freejugar]

Sarah has often talked about how she went off to write alone to her empty brother's house. Joseph? John?

I think the mothership is noisy from all the grandchildren, and Sarah likes peace and quiet. She would be pretty happy living alone if she hadn't been brainwashed by Steve.

Edited April 4, 2020 by freejugar

[Lgirlrocks]

2 hours ago, dripcurl said:

I just looked at that mom’s question. Of course, Teri had to answer with having everything scheduled out because, well, Maxhell. But, also because Maxhell, she has a terrible theory of mind and didn’t dissect the question very well in my opinion. I’ve been homeschooled and I have been in public school, and I am the oldest of a family of four kids and we had some crazy age gaps. So, I am wondering why some or all of these woman’s kids can’t take a break every half hour anyway, even if it’s just for a couple minutes. Certainly buy that time amongst 4 kids, *someone* must have to pee, drink some water, or just take a break in general. I don’t see anything detrimental to taking a couple minutes to play with the kid who is having some difficulties. Save for the 6th grader, I can’t think of a time where a kid in elementary school would have to be sitting, focusing on something completely uninterrupted for more than 30 minutes or so except for a yearly exam or some practice for that. Of course I understand that there can be very complicated sibling dynamics, one might not be able to stand the thought of stopping in playing with the kids for a few minutes, etc. I think Teri’s advice of having each kid play with the kid for half hour blocks to help fill up a 3 hour gap is extreme and completely counterintuitive to keeping the peace. A 1st grader should not have to have 3 hours of playtime before doing their schoolwork anyway. During the half hour breaks, the mom could have something simple, that only takes about five minutes, that all 4 kids can enjoy and make the 1st grader happy.

 

No one has to “lose a half hour of school time in order to gain an hour of uninterrupted school time”, as Teri puts it, because 1) You have all day, no one has to lose time in order to gain time for anything. This is a huge advantage to homeschooling, Teri, it sucks that you seem to have not capitalized on that fact as you’ve homeschooled for half a century or however you like to brag about. 2) Like I said, kids that young don’t necessarily have to focus without interruption for an hour anyway. Even if they did, I am wondering why the 6th grader can’t go do their reading or whatever in another room with the door closed.

When I was in pre-K my mom would let me color or watch an educational video while she helped school my older brother. When I was in the first grade I would sit and do my school work books. I’m sure I stopped in between to play or color if my mind wondered. Things don’t have to be so structured when you are home schooling someone that age. The mom could give him stuff to do in between his lessons. 

[usmcmom]

I never understand why moms need advice from a stranger on things like entertaining their own kids. The mother should know best what his interests are, his attention span, reading level, etc.  

[Caroline]

31 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I never understand why moms need advice from a stranger on things like entertaining their own kids. The mother should know best what his interests are, his attention span, reading level, etc.  

I thought the exact same thing when I read that mother's question.  I'm curious to see what will have been learned by parents who are being forced  to take a greater interest in their public schooled kids' education.  I'm a high school teacher who's been teaching online for three weeks now.  On Friday I spent an hour communicating with two mothers who can't get their kids to do any schoolwork.  (The same two kids don't do a lot of work outside of school. i.e. homework and studying, when we have normal school).  The moms are at their wit's end, so I told them that on Monday I will invite each kid to a separate Google Meet to talk about what they need help with.  The mothers are like, "Wow, maybe you can make them get up before 11:00 and do their work "  Is that really my job??  I know teenagers are just as scared as everyone else about this and that it's their job to avoid work, but I have the distinct impression in these two cases that there are not a lot of rules or routine in these particular homes.(not talking about Maxwell crazy schedules, just normal daily life)  Fortunately, both parents were very nice, just not up to the job at the moment.

A third kid is another story completely.  He flat-out said, "I'm on vacation till May 4." (the day we're 'supposed' to go back to school).  That mother has lost total control, and it was obvious long before this crisis.   So, he's potentially throwing away three months of school and will be very surprised when he is not promoted to the next grade next year.  It was a long week online last week.

[Black Aliss]

21 hours ago, dripcurl said:

And curvy CNAs! Scrubs can be flattering, actually.

And really, apart from the pants aspect, they are quite modest. Not a contrasting button or bit of cleavage anywhere.

[thoughtful]

On 4/4/2020 at 12:13 PM, kpmom said:

Ohhh, make it a female Episcopalian priest!

Whose wife drops her off at Steve's nursing home with a hug and a smooch.

[PennySycamore]

@thoughtful, If Steve witnessed that, he'd have another heart attack.  Or a stroke.  

[AmericanRose]

Yes, someone should please take pity on me, the sad single spinster, living alone with her cats... I AM SUCH A CLICHE. ?

Buuut I would rather live alone than live in Maxhell, so there's that.

[Giraffe]

I’ve spent too much time thinking about why Sarah finds singles like me pitiable. Has she ever met someone her age who enjoys living in their own place without other humans? My guess is she sees people in the nursing facility who don’t have family visits and Sarahs feels pity for them.

That’s a very different experience than choosing to live alone when a person is still fully capable of living independently, whether that means having people come in daily to help them with activities of daily living and general housekeeping or cooking or someone who chooses to only see people when they go outside their homes or invites others in*. Sarah is so stuck in the Maxwell model of life that she can’t comprehend anyone who loves living life without spouse or children and without having the desire for either!

 

* I’m not phrasing this well but I’ve edited it a number of times and I need to stop ?

Edited April 5, 2020 by Giraffe
Clarifying

[Bethy]

On 4/3/2020 at 5:25 PM, Foudeb said:

Steve will never move to a retirement home, ever. Those places have rules that are not his rules. Never going to happen. Steve does not obey anyone else's rules. That's why the cult was founded in the first place. 

Yes, much in a retirement home would make Steve's head explode, and from doing retirement-home "church" he has to know that. I'm thinking of an illustration from one of the early Moody books (one of the first four - that's all I've read) showing an older lady patting a dog or something from a wheelchair, and she's wearing a long, flowing full skirt. Nobody in my grandma's nursing home wore a long, flowing skirt. Nobody in my grandma's nursing home wore a skirt, period. Lots of extra fabric around wheelchair tires is a huge hazard. 

Also my grandma, a dear sweet Christian lady, got stuck with a roommate who would sing, yell, and swear long into the night. Not only was she exhausted, she was offended. An older lady from our former (fundie-lite) church was dismayed when she went into the hospital after a health crisis and her roommate watched soap operas and trashy talk shows with the volume cranked up all day long. Unless Steve/Teri could work out a move into a home together, so they could be roommates and insulate themselves from the worldly world around them, they couldn't hack it. And if they were well enough to be roommates, they're probably well enough to be cared for at home. So this isn't ever happening.

[SPHASH]

No way Coward Steve and Griselda Teri will ever go to a nursing home.  When Grandad was in his final years and Gigi had trouble caring for him each of his grandsons took turns going over there at night to help.  Pretty sure that's what Joshua, Danny, Simon, Drew, Benji, Kyle, Caleb, Axton, and all future grandsons will end up doing.

Edited April 5, 2020 by SPHASH
Eta

[fundiefan]

16 hours ago, Giraffe said:

I’ve spent too much time thinking about why Sarah finds singles like me pitiable. Has she ever met someone her age who enjoys living in their own place without other humans? My guess is she sees people in the nursing facility who don’t have family visits and Sarahs feels pity for them.

That’s a very different experience than choosing to live alone when a person is still fully capable of living independently, whether that means having people come in daily to help them with activities of daily living and general housekeeping or cooking or someone who chooses to only see people when they go outside their homes or invites others in*. Sarah is so stuck in the Maxwell model of life that she can’t comprehend anyone who loves living life without spouse or children and without having the desire for either!

 

* I’m not phrasing this well but I’ve edited it a number of times and I need to stop ?

Because she has been taught - brainwashed - into believing that being with family 24/7 is the only way to be happy. She's been sold the bill of goods that women get married & have babies or they stay home & serve their father. I honestly don't think she is capable of understanding choice & preference. She doesn't have the ability to make any of her own choices, and she has not comprehension that others do. And, that choices that are different than what she's been told are valid, and happy and fulfilling. In her mind, "single" people - or people living alone - are miserable because they don't have what she has / wants. No 24 hour parental presence, no siblings .2 miles away, no twice daily bible study, nothing fulfilling since they're not working for daddy or brother. 

Single people - people living alone - being happy and content and fulfilled is a concept that her completely controlled brain is incapable of comprehending. We must all be miserable because we don't have what she has or has been told she wants. It's truly inconceivable to her. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Because she has been taught - brainwashed - into believing that being with family 24/7 is the only way to be happy.

You'd think her life experience would have taught her otherwise. 

[Syriana]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

You'd think her life experience would have taught her otherwise. 

You'd think but the power of conditioning is scary; more than that though we know that Steve didn't stop at conditioning, he used emotional blackmail (my view is that it reached the level of coercive control) to achieve his aims.  The combination must have been incredibly damaging to the developing psyches of his children.

[The Mother Dust]

2 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Because she has been taught - brainwashed - into believing that being with family 24/7 is the only way to be happy. She's been sold the bill of goods that women get married & have babies or they stay home & serve their father. I honestly don't think she is capable of understanding choice & preference. She doesn't have the ability to make any of her own choices, and she has not comprehension that others do. And, that choices that are different than what she's been told are valid, and happy and fulfilling. In her mind, "single" people - or people living alone - are miserable because they don't have what she has / wants. No 24 hour parental presence, no siblings .2 miles away, no twice daily bible study, nothing fulfilling since they're not working for daddy or brother. 

Single people - people living alone - being happy and content and fulfilled is a concept that her completely controlled brain is incapable of comprehending. We must all be miserable because we don't have what she has or has been told she wants. It's truly inconceivable to her. 

Confession time.  I've lived alone for several years (widowed at 26, i'm 40 now.) Never wanted kids. Although I wish my hub was still here, I never felt motivated to live with a man again.  I have younger siblings with small kids, (they live in the same county a few states away)  and though i love them, the noise and activity in their houses is exhausting when I visit.  Because my job allows me to work remotely when I help family, i've babysat for them for long stretches before, and the plan was for me to do so again at the start of this pandemic.  When talk of shutting things down started, I was kind of looking forward to lots of "me" time, but I was still planning to go to them to help. Then everything actually got shut down before I could leave.  Although I wish the cause was different, I'M FUCKING LOVING BEING ALL BY MYSELF AND NOT HAVING TO SEE ANYONE ELSE.  I dont have to care about my appearance, I'm playing xbox whenever I want as long as I want, watching movies/netflix, trying some edibles and drinking wine, its my dream.  (I'm normally in the office 4 days a week)  I know some people aren't as introverted as me, but I love it, I wish my boss would let me work remotely 100% of the time.  Sarah dosent seem to realize that not everyone is the same.  People get joy out of different things.  Some people can entertain themselves quite easily, alone.

[Harbor]

So it looks like Jesse is getting married. I'm bored at home checking the Maxwell website, and under the events tab it says that they have "eight adult children (five are married)." Jesse has an amazon wedding registry (with a picture), his fiancee's name is Anna Craig. They're supposed to get married next month. 

[mango_fandango]

12 minutes ago, Harbor said:

So it looks like Jesse is getting married. I'm bored at home checking the Maxwell website, and under the events tab it says that they have "eight adult children (five are married)." Jesse has an amazon wedding registry (with a picture), his fiancee's name is Anna Craig. They're supposed to get married next month. 

Omg! ANOTHER Anna in the family? What are they going to call this one? 
 

Given the whole COVID-19 I wonder whether they’re going to reschedule.

And damn. That’s the girls’ fates sealed. They are never ever going to leave. 

Edited April 6, 2020 by mango_fandango

[HoneyBunny]

2 hours ago, The Mother Dust said:

Although I wish the cause was different, I'M FUCKING LOVING BEING ALL BY MYSELF AND NOT HAVING TO SEE ANYONE ELSE.  I dont have to care about my appearance, I'm playing xbox whenever I want as long as I want, watching movies/netflix, trying some edibles and drinking wine, its my dream.

I love my husband, I truly do. But I am right now trying to read FJ, sitting next to him as he insists on reading all of his emails out loud to me, totally envious of what you’ve described right there. 
 

Isolating vicariously through you... 

32 minutes ago, Harbor said:

So it looks like Jesse is getting married. I'm bored at home checking the Maxwell website, and under the events tab it says that they have "eight adult children (five are married)." Jesse has an amazon wedding registry (with a picture), his fiancee's name is Anna Craig. They're supposed to get married next month. 

Wow. That’s some great sleuthing. Nancy Drew got nothing on you!  

But his poor sisters. 

[Triplet3]

27 minutes ago, Harbor said:

So it looks like Jesse is getting married. I'm bored at home checking the Maxwell website, and under the events tab it says that they have "eight adult children (five are married)." Jesse has an amazon wedding registry (with a picture), his fiancee's name is Anna Craig. They're supposed to get married next month. 

No way!! The surname Craig vaguely rings a bell with me re fundies, but I can't think of the family off the top of my head. Anyone else heard of the Craigs? The wedding is 23 May, apparently (assuming it isn't postponed owing to the pandemic).

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 minutes ago, Triplet3 said:

No way!! The surname Craig vaguely rings a bell with me re fundies, but I can't think of the family off the top of my head. Anyone else heard of the Craigs? The wedding is 23 May, apparently (assuming it isn't postponed owing to the pandemic).

Yes, the Bontragers are good friends with the Craig’s. I think her closest Craig sister is Celia. But there are a few Craig sisters.

[usmcmom]

46 minutes ago, Harbor said:

So it looks like Jesse is getting married. I'm bored at home checking the Maxwell website, and under the events tab it says that they have "eight adult children (five are married)." Jesse has an amazon wedding registry (with a picture), his fiancee's name is Anna Craig. They're supposed to get married next month. 

AAAANNNNNDDDDD! Steve’s head just exploded.  
 

He’s furious right now that Anna just had to make a wedding registry. 

This is just the news I needed today. 
 

Let’s vote on what we’ll call her until we learn her middle name: Anna Lou, Anna Louise, Anna Ann, Anna Jesse, Anna Elizabeth, Anna Hosanna, Anna Banana...
 

 

[Giraffe]

4 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

AAAANNNNNDDDDD! Steve’s head just exploded.  
 

He’s furious right now that Anna just had to make a wedding registry. 

This is just the news I needed today. 
 

Let’s vote on what we’ll call her until we learn her middle name: Anna Lou, Anna Louise, Anna Ann, Anna Jesse, Anna Elizabeth, Anna Hosanna, Anna Banana...
 

 

NR Anna 2.0 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Anna and Celia were contestants in the 2018 bible bee. I think you age out after 19 so I could be mistaken. But that still means Anna could be quite young. By the 2019 bible bee, only Celia and Ella Craig qualified so by then Anna must have aged out. My guess is that Anna is around 20 or 21.

Edited April 6, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[catlady]

19 minutes ago, HoneyBunny said:

I love my husband, I truly do. But I am right now trying to read FJ, sitting next to him as he insists on reading all of his emails out loud to me, totally envious of what you’ve described right there. 
 

Isolating vicariously through you... 

oh my Rufus, your husband must be Mr. CL's long lost twin.  he reads everything out loud--texts, headlines, memes, emails......    he and I are both essential workers, so we're still putting in full time hours, but I too miss my alone time.  there's no bowling league, no movies with his friends, no mall-walking, no karaoke nights; he does all of that without me because I'm fine staying home with the pets.  we're both happy with the arrangement.  but now we're both there, all evening, all weekend, and he's reading FB posts out loud, and listening to videos without the damn earbuds (he has *three sets* of earbuds....).  I will drink more wine.

4 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Let’s vote on what we’ll call her until we learn her middle name: Anna Lou, Anna Louise, Anna Ann, Anna Jesse, Anna Elizabeth, Anna Hosanna, Anna Banana....

I like these two!  Anna Ann reminds me of an obscure song from about 1989 by a band called They Might Be Giants that went "Anna Ng and I are getting old and we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic presence."  it was a weird song (at least to us metalheads) and we liked to sing it drunk.