Bro Gary Hawkins 12: IT BIBLE

[thoughtful]

This morning - another video. Gary says he's going to read from . . . "Nehum?" Becky: "Nehemiah."

But first . . . "I'm tellin' you right now, you talk about a breakfast!" Well, Gary, I don't make live videos on Facebook to talk about my breakfast. I just don't feel I'm that important. He tells us all about his breakfast, in detail. He traded the bacon on his plate for somebody else's sausage. Thanks for the very important report, Gary.

OK, back to Nehemiah, or, as Gary says "the topic of my thing." It means we need to open the US back up. He seems annoyed that he hasn't gotten his stimulus check yet. "I ain't got nothin' - I'm still havin' to wait on the Lord, Amen?"

Somebody's letting them use their camper, which explains what he's sitting in. One thing about Bro Gary's grifting - we get to see him in all kinds of settings.

Did you know that Bro Gary's brother works for the public schools in NC?

There's nothin' but junk on TV. "I was watchin' the Andy Griffin show the other day" Becky, very quietly: "Andy Griffith." Gary: "they made a mockery . .. I can't remember what it was . .  . er'body says the Andy Griffith show is the best show, back in the days, Andy Griffin had a lot of things on it that were wrong, amen amen amen."

He was disappointed that a woman wasn't properly frightened by the depiction of Hell on a pamphlet he showed her, and he blames Hollywood.  Estus Pirkle's film (excuse me, "fim"), "The Burning Hell," wouldn't hold up to how scary films and TV are now - it would look "sissified."

"Sodomites takin' over Disney World." He goes on about how "sick" it is that anyone would show a picture of two men or two women kissing.

He stops to greet Sialkot Ki Awaz by saying "Hello there I can't pronounce your name."

He still thinks only people who have "the symptoms" should self-isolate, and mentions the stupid thing I posted earlier on which "Sira" (I think you mean Siri, Gary, and it was actually Alexa) talks about the Democrats making stuff up.

"I don't go around rubbin' flesh 'n' flesh aginst ever'body else" and "If I see somebody I think might  would have it I run from 'em, Amen?"

He thinks that, if anyone got the virus in church, it was because someone who knew they had it went anyway, and "rubbed up on" and kissed people. He does a little limp-wrist gesture and talks in his mocking voice when he refers to "a little Holy kiss." He really hates that tradition.

Spoiler

Bill Gates is behind it, China is behind it, the short guy with glasses who's "supposed to be a doctor" is behind it.

He has taken to addressing his audience as "honey."

This all mixed in with his usual shit.

 

[Idlewild]

The Tupperware sale will be all online-  a friend of mine has started selling Avon through Facebook - if you click through their post, any orders are registered to him and he gets commission- it’s then delivered by courier. I expect the Tupperware system is the same- Avon also seems to reward them if they can recruit other sales people.

i was in a supermarket here (England) yesterday- quite a lot of ‘guidance’ and it is a one way system but some people just ignore it - I had to ask one couple to step away from me as they were practically breathing down my neck. I’m not sure why they both had to be there either- I assume one of them had a hidden disability. 

I wonder if Gary ever returns any hospitality- do they cook meals for their hosts or bring anything other than ranting to the party?

[thoughtful]

Stick with the pointy-haired look, Gar - maybe someone will mistake you for your film-making namesake and fellow North Carolinian:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Hawkins

[thoughtful]

14 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

I wonder if Gary ever returns any hospitality- do they cook meals for their hosts or bring anything other than ranting to the party?

At one of the tent meetings, Gary made sure everyone knew there were biscuits and gravy waiting. I assume that the host church paid for the ingredients, and I know Becky did the work.

Other than that, I've only heard of them taking and taking, and Gary offering the gift of his good preachin' and majestic presence in return.

 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Looks like Bro’s breakfast is all down the front of his shirt. How lovely.

Spoiler

 

[Dandruff]

2 hours ago, Idlewild said:

I wonder if Gary ever returns any hospitality- do they cook meals for their hosts or bring anything other than ranting to the party?

He eventually leaves.

[MayMay1123]

Has Becky always corrected g-hawk or is this new? I wonder if she is becoming a bit sick of his idiocy, laziness and sloth. He seems to be even more off the wall with this quarantine, if that's even possible.

Edited April 17, 2020 by MayMay1123
Spelling, geez

[Ozlsn]

21 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary's live video on 4/13 led to this argument on Facebook:

I'm going to assume that last "God bless you and keep you" is essentially "fuck off you moron" in KJV Christianese. 

Also I'm laughing at someone pointing out that Gary isn't a pastor. 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Unbelievable!  What a bunch of greedy for money selfish dickheads.  We’re not going to defeat this virus with the wtfery going on.

Spoiler

 

[Idlewild]

I have to say if anything was to tempt me to breach lockdown, special guest Gary would not be it. In fact I’d probably lock myself in.

why would you risk a deadly disease to listen to that barely articulate rambling nonsense? He has no wisdom or insight to offer.

[wallysmommy]

I am now petrified and a bit fascinated that Bro. probably came within 50 miles of me depending on his route from Jackson to Florida, since the most direct route would be through Hattiesburg to Gulfport, then along I-10.  There's a heap-ton of Baptist churches in South Mississippi.  Amazing that none would welcome him.  Wonder why? 

Spoiler

 

Edited April 19, 2020 by Coconut Flan
Animated gif

[Dandruff]

My current thoughts about him are possibly too profane even for FJ. 

I hope he doesn't cause anyone else to catch the virus.

[thoughtful]

Bro Gary did another live video from the borrowed camper, only a few hours after the previous one, still wearing the blue shirt with his breakfast spilled all down the front.

He's asking us to pray, because he has had all of May cancelled (I assume he means that he has no gigs, not that he will magically jump from April to June). If the Hawkins family could be a help to you, please contact him.

Oh, and as a secondary reason to pray, he mentions that his Mom is in the hospital due to her kidneys.

Then he gets back to asking for preaching gigs, and for us to pray that they get a "keyboard piana."

He still hasn't gotten his stim'lis check, since the last time he complained about it, a few hours earlier. He's not one of those who say "Trump ain't my president, oh, but I'll take his money." "Even though this is a typical show-up of Socialism, this is to help the people to hopefully stay on their feet,  not lose their homes and their cars and their property."

He was supposed to go to New York next, but that's not possible now. "That President, he's mocking God." Becky: "Governor."

He says he called Cuomo and told him God was real, and that, if he didn't repent, God was going to put him in Hell. I hope the staff who listened to that message were more amused than annoyed, but I doubt it. He said he's called a bunch of governors.

 

[thoughtful]

Gary was live this morning, in a shirt that appears clean (hard to tell - it's beige, and he eats a lot of beige food).

I swear to you,  I typed the above before starting the video. Gary tells us he had another good breakfast, and "I didn't get it on me this time, so nobody can say nothin'." I guess he heard from some fans who pointed out his stained shirt yesterday.

He got on Facebook just to tell us they're going to set up the tent, and asks prayers that it goes well, doesn't rain, and some people get saved.

If you're skeered, you can drive up and stay in your car - they're going to leave the sides of the tent up and use a microphone.

 

 

[Idlewild]

I’m predicting a low turnout to the tent.

watching his videos, he struggles to read, struggles to pronounce words and just rants. Why on earth does he think he could ‘help’ anyone? I think what he means is can I come and stay on your property, eat your food, rant a bit in a tent and then collect offerings.

[Dandruff]

18 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

He's asking us to pray, because he has had all of May cancelled (I assume he means that he has no gigs, not that he will magically jump from April to June).

I hope he has every month of gigs cancelled after this.

10 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

If you're skeered, you can drive up and stay in your car - they're going to leave the sides of the tent up and use a microphone.

I'd be skeered of what he'd do when it was time to collect love offerings.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

watching his videos, he struggles to read, struggles to pronounce words and just rants. Why on earth does he think he could ‘help’ anyone?

I know someone else that fits this exact description.

He was elected President.

[thoughtful]

Another two live videos.

First, Gary is supervising getting the tent up, panting and burping. We see the tent laid out on the ground.

He cracks a joke about "my wife's runnin' away from work, you know how that works, Amen," then says he's just joking; she's actually calling his mother in the hospital. He tells us the doctors found a large kidney stone and are putting in a stent.

Never mind the stent, back to the tent. Y'all pray.

The second video is Becky speaking as she shows us the raised tent. We get a cute shot of Rascal, as he comes to sit on Becky's lap:

Service at 5:00 PM in the evening, according to Gary. Glad to know it's not 5:00 PM in the morning.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Sorry for the ignorance, but I don't typically follow him...is Becky his wife?

[Pecansforeveryone]

Yes, Becky is his wife. It's a second marriage for both of them. Becky's children by her 1st marriage live with her ex-husband. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

Yes, Becky is his wife. It's a second marriage for both of them. Becky's children by her 1st marriage live with her ex-husband. 

Good.  Glad someone so hateful and gross has a life partner.  

To paraphrase Kathleen Madigan, "I know nice, normal people who can't get a date, but these kind of people are all married!"

 

 

 

 

[grandmadugger]

15 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Good.  Glad someone so hateful and gross has a life partner.  

To paraphrase Kathleen Madigan, "I know nice, normal people who can't get a date, but these kind of people are all married!"

 

 

 

 

And Becky’s ex is gay and from what we can piece together GHaw isn’t allowed around her kids. 

[Caroline]

On 4/16/2020 at 8:51 PM, thoughtful said:

Gary's live video on 4/13 led to this argument on Facebook:

  Hide contents

 

 

 

 

On a friendlier note:

How, exactly, does the LORD deliver a tire, without the use of humans who worked for money to pay for it?

Oh, right.

The lord only delivered 'almost' a new tire and rim.  Whatever that means.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 minutes ago, Caroline said:

The lord only delivered 'almost' a new tire and rim.  Whatever that means.

Retread.  

[Caroline]

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Retread.  

But why didn't God give him a new tire??