Lori Alexander 73: Looking for Reading Comprehension, Empathy, or Self-awareness.

[kmachete14]

I mean I sort of agree that you need a little thick skin or grace to deal with someone who comes home in a bad mood. However, where Lori fails here is that you can't "pray away" this behavior -- you need to sit down with your spouse and explain WHY it makes you cry and feel upset when they take out their annoyances of the day on you, and how hurtful it is to put down others just because you are hurting. And then that other mature spouse should agree that they will find more constructive outlets for stress and apologize and make a concerted effort to change . . . 

Probably in this case the man is totally disillusioned about his "perfect" life he was promised if he just works 14 hour days and bring his wife/servant to church, and since he was taught men aren't emotional, his only stress outlet is to snap at his poor wife. Now she's stuck at home all day with the mother in law, a crabby stressed husband with no emotional regulation coming home at night, and no way to work through this pretty simple problem because she's not allowed to have a mature discussion with her husband. 

This cult is so dumb and damaging. 

[Lgirlrocks]

14 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

I mean I sort of agree that you need a little thick skin or grace to deal with someone who comes home in a bad mood. However, where Lori fails here is that you can't "pray away" this behavior -- you need to sit down with your spouse and explain WHY it makes you cry and feel upset when they take out their annoyances of the day on you, and how hurtful it is to put down others just because you are hurting. And then that other mature spouse should agree that they will find more constructive outlets for stress and apologize and make a concerted effort to change . . . 

Probably in this case the man is totally disillusioned about his "perfect" life he was promised if he just works 14 hour days and bring his wife/servant to church, and since he was taught men aren't emotional, his only stress outlet is to snap at his poor wife. Now she's stuck at home all day with the mother in law, a crabby stressed husband with no emotional regulation coming home at night, and no way to work through this pretty simple problem because she's not allowed to have a mature discussion with her husband. 

This cult is so dumb and damaging. 

Also some people don’t know they are being assholes. My mom, growing up, would make comments about my weight all of the time. None of it was helpful. Until I talked to her about it she didn’t know she was being hurtful. Turned out her parents made similar comments to her when she was growing up. 
my boyfriend has zero empathy and will say things, trying to help, that end up being hurtful. If I don’t tell him he doesn’t know. I am one to hide my feelings and it isn’t good. No amount of praying will turn people into mind readers. Pretty sure god has better things to do than to put the things I could say one the heart of the person I should say them to.

[Imrlgoddess]

One word Lori A:  BRAINWASHING.

She is reinforcing a set stage that will have that woman a shell of her former self in no time.  Lori keeps saying "control your emotions, don't allow yourself to feel hurt".  She could easily condense that to: don't allow yourself to feel.  Her sick male followers all want a Stepford Wife, not a real person with real needs or emotions.  

I've been digging up things on brainwashing for a long while, therapy and stress woke up some sleeping deamons that I've been battling this year.  It dawned on me years ago that in order for me to become a soldier, a measure of brainwashing had to happen.  In relationships, the coercion can happen and the victim not believe they are being altered because there may not be physical encouragement.  Brainwashing is being tortured, right?

Not all the time.  It can be insidious and quiet.  Gaslighting someone is a great place to start. 

per this website:  https://www.decision-making-confidence.com/brainwashing-techniques.html

Not peer reviewed but it's got some good info.  List of things someone in a marriage or family setting may use, all of this is what cults use to get their people to stay:  

Spoiler

Assault on identity

The Establishment of Guilt

The Self-betrayal

Breaking point: Total Conflict and the Basic Fear

Leniency and Opportunity

The Compulsion to confess

The Channeling of guilt

Re-education: Logical Dishonoring

Progress and harmony

Final confession

Rebirth

Release

 

[kmachete14]

1 hour ago, Imrlgoddess said:

One word Lori A:  BRAINWASHING.

She is reinforcing a set stage that will have that woman a shell of her former self in no time.  Lori keeps saying "control your emotions, don't allow yourself to feel hurt".  She could easily condense that to: don't allow yourself to feel.  Her sick male followers all want a Stepford Wife, not a real person with real needs or emotions.  

I've been digging up things on brainwashing for a long while, therapy and stress woke up some sleeping deamons that I've been battling this year.  It dawned on me years ago that in order for me to become a soldier, a measure of brainwashing had to happen.  In relationships, the coercion can happen and the victim not believe they are being altered because there may not be physical encouragement.  Brainwashing is being tortured, right?

Not all the time.  It can be insidious and quiet.  Gaslighting someone is a great place to start. 

per this website:  https://www.decision-making-confidence.com/brainwashing-techniques.html

Not peer reviewed but it's got some good info.  List of things someone in a marriage or family setting may use, all of this is what cults use to get their people to stay:  

  Hide contents

Assault on identity

The Establishment of Guilt

The Self-betrayal

Breaking point: Total Conflict and the Basic Fear

Leniency and Opportunity

The Compulsion to confess

The Channeling of guilt

Re-education: Logical Dishonoring

Progress and harmony

Final confession

Rebirth

Release

 

I mean basically that counts for *most*  of the big denominations of Christian experiences, even if it takes from age 5 to age 20. The whole deal is that you're a wretched sinner, and luckily for you, Jesus (and whatever church you belong to) has a way for you be made clean . . . although it seems many people these days (myself included, luckily) don't get through the whole thing and have a wake-up call. 

 

Edited December 17, 2019 by kmachete14

[wallysmommy]

Your husband is the opposite of the Lori man-trolls.  He was protecting you from Sandsie (Beansie's cousin who lurks in the dark waiting to injure you as you make sandwiches!  

[delphinium65]

4 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

Your husband is the opposite of the Lori man-trolls.  He was protecting you from Sandsie (Beansie's cousin who lurks in the dark waiting to injure you as you make sandwiches!  

Kitchens are dangerous places!    

I'm not sure how I got so lucky, but somehow my husband hits a near-perfect balance of caring while respecting my almost pathological need to do things myself, giving just the right amount of support while encouraging the level of independence I crave. He's so, soooooo much better than any of Lori's man-child followers!  

[onemama]

13 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

that other mature spouse should agree that they will find more constructive outlets for stress and apologize and make a concerted effort to change . .

I think this is the main problem in all these marriages: there is only one mature spouse or both are immature.  I don't see how enabling immaturity is loving!  

13 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

Probably in this case the man is totally disillusioned about his "perfect" life he was promised if he just works 14 hour days and bring his wife/servant to church, and since he was taught men aren't emotional, his only stress outlet is to snap at his poor wife.

And the man can't see the source of his frustration because, for one, he has to keep up the charade and second,  since he's the man and the "head of his household", his wife has no authority to tell him what she thinks about their situation.  A man needs a person that he can respect as his equal who will give him feedback and sometimes even contradict him. Shock!  This system that places men in a superior position is only isolating men and setting them up to see their wives as the enemy, unless the wives suppor their decisions and run around fixing everything they break (literally and figuratively) 

Get rid of all that talk about man-head-leader, wife-non-head-submissive, and you have a partnership of two equals who can carry the burdens of life together.  

 

[wallysmommy]

Capturing this before it gets deleted and the poster is banned.

 

 

Spoiler

 

Edited December 19, 2019 by wallysmommy

[Free Jana Duggar]

Ok, don't throw rotten tomatoes at me, or put me in fj jail, but I kinda felt Lori's post today.

I tend to think kids are given too many things  without having to work for them. My kids were mad that we made them get jobs and buy their own phones.  We did give them our extra 14 year old "clunker" car to share, but they're going to have to buy their own if they want anything nicer.

There are some spoiled kids out there

And I can personally vouch that kids+internet on phones is dangerous. We had to stop a real life meeting with a stranger. Scared the he11 out of us (had to call the cops and everything).

 

Now I will see myself to the prayer closet for agreeing with Lori on something.

[Lgirlrocks]

8 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Ok, don't throw rotten tomatoes at me, or put me in fj jail, but I kinda felt Lori's post today.

I tend to think kids are given too many things  without having to work for them. My kids were mad that we made them get jobs and buy their own phones.  We did give them our extra 14 year old "clunker" car to share, but they're going to have to buy their own if they want anything nicer.

There are some spoiled kids out there

And I can personally vouch that kids+internet on phones is dangerous. We had to stop a real life meeting with a stranger. Scared the he11 out of us (had to call the cops and everything).

 

Now I will see myself to the prayer closet for agreeing with Lori on something.

The thing that got me about her post was the fact that she neglected to mention kids who had to work. Little kids had to work to help feed their families. My grandma dropped out of school in the 8th grade to help her family. My mom had to work for a car and things she wanted as a teen. That was in the 60’s. I worked for what I have. Yes some kids are spoiled but I feel parents want to give their kids things that their parents couldn’t give to them. 

[SweetLaurel]

12 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

tend to think kids are given too many things  without having to work for them. My kids were mad that we made them get jobs and buy their own phones.  We did give them our extra 14 year old "clunker" car to share, but they're going to have to buy their own if they want anything nicer.

LOL!  Yeah, a car given to you is nice...  I am on the fence on this - every generation thinks the next one is spoiled.  My mom's grandma thought they were spoiled because they had these radios to listen to.  She'd go feel the top of the radio to see if it was warm - 'you don't need to be lollygagging around listening to that!'.   My grandma thought we were spoiled because we didn't carry wood, got to ride a bus to school and had a tv in the house.  Our grandkids are going to think their grandkids are spoiled.  It is just how life works. ":Kids these days!"   oh and:

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

― Socrates  

Apparently no one knows if he really said that or not - but wouldn't surprise me any.    

 

Edited December 19, 2019 by SweetLaurel
adding

[Lgirlrocks]

1 hour ago, SweetLaurel said:

LOL!  Yeah, a car given to you is nice...  I am on the fence on this - every generation thinks the next one is spoiled.  My mom's grandma thought they were spoiled because they had these radios to listen to.  She'd go feel the top of the radio to see if it was warm - 'you don't need to be lollygagging around listening to that!'.   My grandma thought we were spoiled because we didn't carry wood, got to ride a bus to school and had a tv in the house.  Our grandkids are going to think their grandkids are spoiled.  It is just how life works. ":Kids these days!"   oh and:

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

― Socrates  

Apparently no one knows if he really said that or not - but wouldn't surprise me any.    

 

Another thought is kids need more these days. A lot of school require tablets or laptops to do school work. There aren’t phones on the highways anymore so kids that are driving need a cell phone. Driving age kids may need a care to get to and from school/work or to help the parents out. The Duggar’s always seem to have more cars then drivers on the show. Are they spoiling their kids? Lori would say they aren’t. 

[rayneflower]

I think Lori has a document labeled, Tweets to go Viral and Tweets to offend everyone, especially women

I hope a preacher sets her straight, she preaches to these people, not teaches. 

 

[klein_roeschen]

2 hours ago, SweetLaurel said:

LOL!  Yeah, a car given to you is nice...  I am on the fence on this - every generation thinks the next one is spoiled.  My mom's grandma thought they were spoiled because they had these radios to listen to.  She'd go feel the top of the radio to see if it was warm - 'you don't need to be lollygagging around listening to that!'.   My grandma thought we were spoiled because we didn't carry wood, got to ride a bus to school and had a tv in the house.  Our grandkids are going to think their grandkids are spoiled.  It is just how life works. ":Kids these days!"   oh and:

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

― Socrates  

Apparently no one knows if he really said that or not - but wouldn't surprise me any.    

 

My father was the last of 9 kids and born 10 years after no 8. Compared to his siblings he was very spoiled since he had to never shared a bed with one of his siblings like the others had. He even had a room for himself at 9 years old after all the older ones moved out and most of his clothes where new instead of hand me downs. But what he had less was the close bond the other 8 had formed, he was always the outlier because of the age difference. And he had even less love and affection from his parents than his siblings had.

Lori would love the Nauglers. The lucky ones get to work for pennies at the grooming shop and have money to spend. And the unlucky ones can be lucky if they get a half decent dinner and no extras.

[SweetLaurel]

14 minutes ago, klein_roeschen said:

 

Lori would love the Nauglers. The lucky ones get to work for pennies at the grooming shop and have money to spend. And the unlucky ones can be lucky if they get a half decent dinner and no extras.

Lori and the Nauglers - man, can you imagine?? She would look down her skinny nose at them.  Nicole works and Joe leers at the neighbors and hangs out at the shop sometimes and does nothing the rest of the time.   She does have all the kids she could - well, and like Lori ignores them for the most part, except for photo shoots.   Nicole doesn't love God and His Perfect Ways because she leaves the 'home' and doesn't buy special flour to make special bread or cook nourishing meals - or cook at all, and her kids don't do dairy now that they shot the goats, not that they ever really did, so no special butter.   Even Lori with her slime salads wouldn't eat what they do.   And Nic's stash of special treats just for her that she probably eats more than her portion of?  Lori's head would explode.  Oh please someone get them together....

Edited December 19, 2019 by SweetLaurel
punctuation

[klein_roeschen]

2 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

Lori and the Nauglers - man, can you imagine?? She would look down her skinny nose at them.  Nicole works and Joe leers at the neighbors and hangs out at the shop sometimes and does nothing the rest of the time.   She does have all the kids she could - well, and like Lori ignores them for the most part, except for photo shoots.   Nicole doesn't love God and His Perfect Ways because she leaves the 'home' and doesn't buy special flour to make special bread or cook nourishing meals - or cook at all, and her kids don't do dairy now that they shot the goats, not that they ever really did, so no special butter.   Even Lori with her slime salads wouldn't eat what they do.   And Nic's stash of special treats just for her?  Lori's head would explode.  Oh please someone get them together....

If they get together, can someone please livestream it, I would pay for that entertainment! While I think that Lori looks down on a great many people, the only hair in the soup she would mention would be that Nicole didn't set up her shop at home. With the suffering olympics that her leghumpers celebrate, poopistan wouldn't be so different.

[usmcmom]

I’m going to confess that we bought a third car for our kids; and that’s what we called it - “the third car” not “the kids’ car.”  I kind of pushed for it because our teenagers were either using my van or I was spending my evenings running them around. 

They shared that vehicle for a few months until our son left for boot camp, and  then our daughter drove it.  

When our son, our older child,  started driving and had a car to use, he had to drive his sister to a lot of things. Both kids had to run errands for me - pick up groceries, drop something at a friend’s house, go grab dinner. We were really fortunate that it worked out that we could do that, I know. It was very helpful, once I got over the fear of a child driving, to have another driver (or two) in the family.

Our son, in a way, paid us back. When he was stationed overseas for two years, he asked us to keep his car - the first one he bought for himself.  It was completely paid for so we took over the insurance payments for him, sold one of our cars and drove his for two years. He was glad to have it safely in our hands and we were happy to be driving a late model red mustang. When he was discharged and took his car back, we made do with one car for a few months until we found just what we wanted for our second vehicle. 

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Anyone else notice Lazy Lori is recycling her doodles? Obviously she can't be bothered to think of something new to write.

Not that it's exactly new ,because she only has 5 topics (wifely submission, keepers at home, public schools are the pits of hell, have all the baybeez even if it literally kills you, and feminism is the evilest evil that every eviled and responsible for everything wrong in the world)... But... gosh.... gee....... maybe she could write about the 5 topics differently or invent another story to illustrate her point.

However, this is Lazy Lori , so I shouldn't expect any effort at all.

[rayneflower]

Maybe she goes through her Facebook, see's something she posted a couple weeks ago and re posts it in hopes she will go viral. She doesn't do this for the LORD GOD, she does this for Lord Lori. She is one of the most self absorbed people I know, I feel like she is more self absorbed than Kate Gosselin. She is vain, cruel, rude... She openly denies that she preaches when she does preach. What does she think she's doing? Does she think she is just post all this on Facebook and it's not preaching? She thinks she can command all these women to listen to her and she can't! She needs to GROW UP and stop sucking on the teet of Twitter

[delphinium65]

Lori actually found a tiny nugget of truth here, although not in the way she thinks.  Too bad she doesn't truly care about women of any age.  

[rayneflower]

So yesterday Lord Lori posted another blast on her page about Hallmark movies Channel. 

 

All she wants to talk about how bad stuff is, how come she can never for ONCE say something good about things! She doesn't do anything but sit at her computer all day, she doesn't have to cook or clean. Ken makes good money.... Why can't for once she be happy about something in her life instead of all the negative! 

[Lgirlrocks]

Spoiler

How is Lori able to ban words? If she can I wonder what words she has banned? Jesus? Work? Lazy? Or has she banned phrases like Jesus is god, or god has more authority than Paul?

[rayneflower]

1 minute ago, Lgirlrocks said:

How is Lori able to ban words? If she can I wonder what words she has banned? Jesus? Work? Lazy? Or has she banned phrases like Jesus is god, or god has more authority than Paul?

 

I run a page on Facebook, and yes you can ban words from comments. 

 

It just shows how narrow minded she really is. She wants to ban different views from hers. 

[wallysmommy]

Just some random thoughts perusing her FB page -- why is she posting about politics when she doesn't believe women should have the right to vote?  Then on to the doodle about "a close friend".  Did she ever have "a close friend?"  I can't imagine anyone wanting to spend copious amounts of time with her.  Maybe "a close friend" means someone who said hello to her once, didn't have tattoos, no debt, was a virgin when she married, and was a keeper at home.

[usmcmom]

I’m just going to leave this recent tweet right here. To avoid confusion, we women are “Satan” in this comparison. Right? And of course, men are God.