Lori Alexander 72: Lori Quit Church?

[KDA]

1 hour ago, usmcmom said:

In her IG stories, Alyssa listed things that were helping her feel better with a newborn in the house. Sleep training made the list. Her baby is eight weeks old and is sleeping nine hours at night because he has been trained to do so.  

 

I can't figure out if I'm more disgusted or saddened by that. An 8 week old baby is not developmentally ready to be able to go for that long without a feed. Many of them can do 6 hours, but the risk of letting a baby that young sleep for that long is getting enough milk into them during their waking hours for them to grow properly. Their tummies are so tiny and can only take a small amount of milk which is why we feed them so often. WTF is wrong with people?

17 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

@Frog99, it breaks my heart, too.   One of the major reasons I left Lori's teachings and especially the infamous ALCR was because of her ideas regarding breastfeeding, child "training", whipping children, etc.  I realize we've discussed it all here prior, so no need to get into it.

 

Was it on Lori's blog where the mother of a special needs girl who was very developmentally delayed, intellectually disabled and non-verbal commented about "training" this girl not to squeal and demand food or something? I can't remember the details but it was horrifying. Pure abuse.

[ladyicantxplain]

12 minutes ago, KDA said:

Was it on Lori's blog where the mother of a special needs girl who was very developmentally delayed, intellectually disabled and non-verbal commented about "training" this girl not to squeal and demand food or something? I can't remember the details but it was horrifying. Pure abuse.

It was on the blog, but I cannot recall the exact circumstances of the child's situation and the mother's question. I only recall how horrifying the advice was from Lori. Maybe I blocked it from my mind to protect my soul from trauma; who can know.

Somebody here has it. I think I've seen it discussed here in the past.

[usmcmom]

28 minutes ago, KDA said:

I can't figure out if I'm more disgusted or saddened by that. An 8 week old baby is not developmentally ready to be able to go for that long without a feed. Many of them can do 6 hours, but the risk of letting a baby that young sleep for that long is getting enough milk into them during their waking hours for them to grow properly. Their tummies are so tiny and can only take a small amount of milk which is why we feed them so often. WTF is wrong with people?

 

It’s interesting that you used the word “saddened.” I had actually originally typed “I am saddened...”

It really breaks my heart to think of these babies crying for food and comfort when they are so tiny. 

Personal note: I walked into my daughter’s room when she was sixteen months old and she had one leg over the side of her crib. That night, she was in a new toddler bed (I had never heard of a crib tent or anything like that) and it was AWFUL. She got up every night for months.  She was perfectly quiet if I held her in my lap but she would not stay in her bed. She didn’t cry. She just got up and tried to play.  

So, every night for about six months, I sat in a rocker from two to four in the morning, holding my wide awake daughter in the living room.  

I tried to tell my mom about this and she scolded me for letting a toddler control my night like that. Then, she stayed with me one night and witnessed it. She apologized and said “You’re right. There is no way to keep her in that bed.” 

Those were really hard months because my husband was out of the country most weeks and could not help. But I was determined not to make sleeping a time for tantrums and frustration. I am really glad I managed a gentle approach because now it seems like it lasted just a moment. I can’t imagine thinking back to those days and remembering tears and spankings. How sad that Alyssa can lie in her bed and listen to that long awaited baby cry for comfort. 

 

[Chocolate Lover]

5 hours ago, KDA said:

I can't figure out if I'm more disgusted or saddened by that. An 8 week old baby is not developmentally ready to be able to go for that long without a feed. Many of them can do 6 hours, but the risk of letting a baby that young sleep for that long is getting enough milk into them during their waking hours for them to grow properly. Their tummies are so tiny and can only take a small amount of milk which is why we feed them so often. WTF is wrong with people?

My son slept through the night at 8 weeks old.  I didn't force it, he just did it.  Last feed about 9pm.  First feed about 7.30am.  He was almost 9lbs at birth and never stopped growing.  He's 6 foot 3 now and eats like it's a competitive sport. 

[Koala]

And, just like that, Lori Alexander thinks she's running a match making service.

She's trying to find a wife, for a random guy on the internet.  Dear fucking God....

[Loveday]

16 minutes ago, Koala said:

And, just like that, Lori Alexander thinks she's running a match making service.

She's trying to find a wife, for a random guy on the internet.  Dear fucking God....

I laughed, but that's only because I had to choose just one emoji. I really want to laugh, cry, say WTF, shake my head in disbelief, and Rufus Bless, all at the same time. 

[delphinium65]

52 minutes ago, Koala said:

And, just like that, Lori Alexander thinks she's running a match making service.

She's trying to find a wife, for a random guy on the internet.  Dear fucking God....

Lori just can't wait to make another woman as miserable as she is.  

[SweetLaurel]

24 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Lori just can't wait to make another woman as miserable as she is.  

Why do we think she is miserable? I think she is living her best life.  She is doing anything she wants, saying anything she wants, buying anything she wants  - I bet she doesn't even have to do ten minutes and lube anymore because Ken gave up. Yet is still on hold to ride in on his Horse of Truth on her command.   She eats what she wants, makes her kids as miserable as she wants - unless they fall in line with her way, and most of them seem to be.  And then she still makes them feel guilty with her posts, if she chooses.   She threatens the grandkids, just like she wants, to make them behave.  She Goes Viral!  She has a book and she gets to be persecuted in the name of God!  She chooses to go on three month vacations where she wants, which dying and birth dare not interfere with it.  

I think she made peace with her life and is very pleased with being an Older Godly Mentor Asshole.   But no one else  with a vagina deserves to be happy.  Because Jesus.  And she is by golly going to make sure they know that.  

  

 

Edited October 30, 2019 by SweetLaurel
clarifying

[delphinium65]

13 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

Why do we think she is miserable? I think she is living her best life.  She is doing anything she wants, saying anything she wants, buying anything she wants  - I bet she doesn't even have to do ten minutes and lube anymore because Ken gave up. Yet is still on hold to ride in on his Horse of Truth on her command.   She eats what she wants, makes her kids as miserable as she wants - unless they fall in line with her way, and most of them seem to be.  And then she still makes them feel guilty with her posts, if she chooses.   She threatens the grandkids, just like she wants, to make them behave.  She Goes Viral!  She has a book and she gets to be persecuted in the name of God!  She chooses to go on three month vacations where she wants, which dying and birth dare not interfere with it.  

I think she made peace with her life and is very pleased with being an Older Godly Mentor Asshole.   But no one else  with a vagina deserves to be happy.  Because Jesus.  And she is by golly going to make sure they know that.  

  

 

Good points, and quite possible.  I tend to assume that she's miserable, because I can't imagine being happy in her shoes.   But I might be giving Lori too much credit, thinking that she may be capable of human feelings, when she hasn't given us any reason to think that.   

[Florita]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

And, just like that, Lori Alexander thinks she's running a match making service.

She's trying to find a wife, for a random guy on the internet.  Dear fucking God....

I'm tempted to post a link to the Maxwells.

[kmachete14]

This who pretense of it being hard to find a stay at home wife is such BS.

Trust me, there are plenty of women who truly do want to be stay at home moms, for whatever reason. 

I went to a medium-sized, highly ranked/exclusive Catholic college where everyone was smart, driven, and career-oriented. Despite this, MANY of the women I knew had the goal of eventually staying home with their children. And MANY of the men, who had grown up with stay at home moms, or were about to make a gazillion dollars being investment bankers and whatnot, would say they want their wife to never have to work! 

I think the problem is that these "Christian" men must be demeaning, socially awkward, misogynists, lame, or have incredibly high expectations for a hot sex-pot yet meek wife. Perhaps they have nothing to offer or their careers aren't promising enough to make any woman feel financially secure enough to give up their career. Perhaps they are so militant about stay at home moms they come off as assholes instead of someone that just has a personal preference about their future family. 

Whatever the case, just go on an online dating profile and say you are looking for a Christian that someday wants to be a stay at home mom. It's not that hard . . . you'd get dozens of interested women. 

 

Edited October 30, 2019 by kmachete14

[SongRed7]

2 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

This who pretense of it being hard to find a stay at home wife is such BS.

Trust me, there are plenty of women who truly do want to be stay at home moms, for whatever reason. 

100% agree.  I've worked my entire adult life/marriage because we are stupid to like/want things like food in our fridge, a place to live, clothes, health insurance, etc.  If we could afford for one of us to quit our jobs and one of us stay home (me or him...doesn't matter) it would make life a little easier and I would do it in a heartbeat. (I'm not complaining, though...we figured a way, like most people, to balance our life quite well)

I like my job, my coworkers, the professional I'm in, etc. but I could quit in a hot minute if we suddenly hit the lottery and one of us didn't have to work  (I'd probably spend time volunteering etc...since only 2 of our children are young adults/working etc.. and only the 14 yo is at home still)

Most working women i know would also quit their jobs if they were able.  

[SweetLaurel]

35 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

 

Most working women i know would also quit their jobs if they were able.  

That sounds a lot like Lori 'every female doctor I know regretted being a doctor and wishes she were home!'     My experience is most women I know are grateful for their jobs, even when the jobs sucks,  and happy they can provide for their families.   They are just as happy as the men in their jobs-they all  wish they had more time with their kids, wish they could make more money with less time at work, and happy their loved ones had a roof over their heads and food in their bellies.   

Edited October 30, 2019 by SweetLaurel
clarifying

[Free Jana Duggar]

My children are adopted (at 2and 3 years old), so I have not had experience with newborns during the night.  I worked with a woman who had a newborn, They made a schedule that was best for her and her husband to get the most rest.  They gave the baby the last bottle around 11:00pm with some of that thickening cereal, and he would sleep till about 6:00. They just timed the last feeding to keep him full until morning.  Seems to make sense. 

I can understand letting a baby cry for a few minutes to see if they will settle down, but you should always go check on them and never let them cry for a long time. 

[SongRed7]

36 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

 My experience is most women I know are grateful for their jobs, even when the jobs sucks,  and happy they can provide for their families.

Don't get me wrong, I agree!   My point was that most women AND men I know aren't as married to their jobs just for the sake of having jobs and self fulfillment as much as they get satisfaction knowing they are providing for their families/selves.  I get a lot of satisfaction from my job as do other working men and women, but it's not my primary reason for working. It is to help support my family. 

And I'm not saying it's wrong for others if that is their motivation for working (self fulfillment).  I think it's great. People work for a variety of reasons.  But almost 100% of everyone I know, both partners work out of necessity. 

 

 

Edited October 30, 2019 by SongRed7

[onemama]

2 hours ago, SweetLaurel said:

Why do we think she is miserable?

Because happy people don't live to make other people miserable. If she were happy, she'd write about happy things. Every post wouldn't begin with "many women today are so wrong...." Every tweet wouldn't be dedicated to bemoaning some imaginary ill in our society. She would enjoy her grandchildren and would seek to bless other people. Misery seeks company. Lori isn't happy. 

Edited October 30, 2019 by onemama

[Hane]

I’m hoping that Alyssa’s baby is like @Chocolate Lover’s baby and my grandson: naturally “good” sleepers. Otherwise, “training” an 8-week-old to sleep through the night is horrendous. It isn’t called “the fourth trimester” for nothing!

[quiversR4hunting]

1 hour ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

My children are adopted (at 2and 3 years old), so I have not had experience with newborns during the night.  I worked with a woman who had a newborn, They made a schedule that was best for her and her husband to get the most rest.  They gave the baby the last bottle around 11:00pm with some of that thickening cereal, and he would sleep till about 6:00. They just timed the last feeding to keep him full until morning.  Seems to make sense. 

I can understand letting a baby cry for a few minutes to see if they will settle down, but you should always go check on them and never let them cry for a long time. 

I agree with your co-worker, parents can try and time the last feeding to get as many hours of uninterrupted sleep as possible. Obviously, not all babies will do this but it is good to try!

Our girls slept from 11 pm to about 5 or 6 am early on (8-10 weeks). It was nice. They would all nap around 7 pm for 1 or 2 hours, get up play and be fed again around 11 and then down for the night. Some people asked why we didn't make them go to bed around 7 pm like other babies. Because they won't stay asleep. So we worked on trying to have a late feeding during semi-normal night hours so we could get chunks of sleep ourselves. We knew when they were going to grow, they would wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning and be HUNGRY, we always got up and fed them whenever they needed it. I still remember the first week the girls would sleep all the way through. I would wake in a panic and have to go check on them to make sure they were alive. After them sleeping through became pretty normal, I would stop waking up in a panic.

What is scary, is what would Lori and her ilk do with my early elementary daughter? She for a couple years would come in our room, wake one of us and and then we would make a bed on the floor for her to sleep on beside one of us (no co-sleeping, I can't sleep like that). She stopped doing this about 6 months ago. However, earlier this week, she got up about 1 am, went to the bathroom and asked if she could go watch TV. She thought it was morning! When I turned her back to her bed she said she couldn't sleep so I gave her 3mg of melatonin to help her go back to sleep.  

[SongRed7]

56 minutes ago, Hane said:

I’m hoping that Alyssa’s baby is like @Chocolate Lover’s baby and my grandson: naturally “good” sleepers.

And training could also entail making sure your baby doesn't sleep too much during the day, giving them adequate stimulation, bath right before bedtime, a couple of extra feedings to "top the baby off" in the waning hours of the day to promote sleepiness throughout the night.  But honestly, probably not. 

[hollyfeller]

5 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

This who pretense of it being hard to find a stay at home wife is such BS.

Trust me, there are plenty of women who truly do want to be stay at home moms, for whatever reason. 

I went to a medium-sized, highly ranked/exclusive Catholic college where everyone was smart, driven, and career-oriented. Despite this, MANY of the women I knew had the goal of eventually staying home with their children. And MANY of the men, who had grown up with stay at home moms, or were about to make a gazillion dollars being investment bankers and whatnot, would say they want their wife to never have to work!

Funny story: I had my first long relationship when I was 16 (we dated for a year) and even then he professed that he didn't want his future wife to work.  This alarmed me because I very much wanted a career.  He couldn't understand why a woman would want to work if she didn't have to.  Fast forward 25 years and this guy is married to a woman who just became a judge.

It's good to know that people can grow and change in positive ways!  (But not Lori.)

[Frog99]

Flicka is an absolute nut. 
 

Spoiler

Brava Foxytrot, Lori isn’t teaching the gospel (and it would be against her rules if she were). She’s teaching a very narrow interpretation of Titus, and doesn’t seem to understand that Paul is not God and that his words are not actual commandments. I would also argue that she isn’t teaching Titus either- she’s screeching judgement and mandates. 
 

Spoiler

And, Amy Bain, I know this isn’t your thought process, but this feminist Christian most certainly “rocked the cradle” (and so did the hubs). We did it without sleep training (in the fundie sense), cry it out, and physical discipline. We parent intuitively with a whole brain approach and a good understanding of brain development. And we have two kids that are confident and capable and understand that God has a purpose for their lives. They won’t be limited by gender and they won’t limit others on the basis of gender. 
 

Spoiler

 

[ladyicantxplain]

10 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

Flicka is an absolute nut. 

Yes. And so is Paulina Marie. She is a single mother now. That's how well Lori's "gospel" worked for so many of us...

The Gospel works for ALL women, ALL the time.  

I am beginning to agree with HALF of Lori's statement that she "doesn't preach (the Gospel)".

She IS preaching.

She is NOT, nor has she ever, proclaimed or heralded THE GOOD news of salvation.

 

[kmachete14]

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/katienotopoulos/how-a-flesh-eating-fake-cancer-cure-spread-across-facebook?origin=web-hf

Not relevant to the current convo but Lori in general 

[elliha]

On 10/29/2019 at 9:20 PM, ladyicantxplain said:

I'm coming out of the belief in ECT (Eternal Conscious Torment, aka "Hell"). 

I cannot reconcile a God who tells us to bless those who curse us and pray for those who despitefully use us - a God who says He is love, and says that Love keeps no record of wrongs - condemning anyone at all to "hell" to burn for all eternity.

My studies thus far have been guided by those who are already Universalists (those who believe ALL persons will eventually, though not without judgement (for a time), be reconciled to God. I'm not talking about the denomination of Unitarian Universalism. That is different.

I'm not a Calvinist, and haven't been for years. I've come out of Arminianism. That leaves Universalism of some kind...

I should note that I was invited to church as a child by the neighbors, and shown those awful videos someone spoke about upthread: the ones with the kids getting beheaded for refusing to deny Christ.

Great choice for a kid: head chopped off, or hell.

I was tormented at night, every night, for DECADES after seeing that crap.

God didn't do that. Not the God I now know. He is love.

The mom of the kid I knew who invited me to this shit-show in that church asked me at the end: "Are you saved, honey?"  I just nodded my head, yes, silently. She said, "Good because if you're not we can go upfront and make sure you are."

Hell to the no. I didn't want to be "saved" if that is what it meant.

 

I don't believe in hell. It is either death or an afterlife, no torment even for the most wicked person. That does not in my mind exclude the possibility that a person who believes in god but has done a lot of bad things doesn't find meeting god to be trying or even painful being confronted with their sinfulness. This is however not meant as a punishment but part of the redemption process with god. I am also a strong proponent of Christus Victor theory of atonement and by Jesus' death on the cross we are no longer slaves to sin and evil. It is still there but it is our own responsibility to handle it and we cannot blame some devil for that. 

I have therefore not discussed hell with my kids but I did discuss sin with my daughter. I explained that sin is not a mistake. A mistake might have bad consequences that are bad enough as it is but a sin is choosing bad when you know better and with a purpose of doing bad things towards yourself or someone else. We discussed what this could be and since she was only five at the time she mostly understood it in terms as say wrecking something someone else likes just to make them sad or angry. I don't know how she would see it now at 7 but I don't that she is crippled by fear of sin. 

[SilverBeach]

On 10/29/2019 at 3:20 PM, ladyicantxplain said:

My studies thus far have been guided by those who are already Universalists (those who believe ALL persons will eventually, though not without judgement (for a time), be reconciled to God.

If everyone is born into sin because of the action of one man, why wasn't everyone "saved" by the action of another (Jesus)?  I have not been able to get a satisfactory answer to this question from pastor types. BTW, saved to me means reconciled. I don't really like the word saved. And I do not believe in hell as a place of eternal torment.  I don't believe in hell period.

8 hours ago, SweetLaurel said:

Older Godly Mentor Asshole. 

That's Lori!