Bates 27: I Want My Bates TV

[ZingerWinger]

1 minute ago, nausicaa said:

Good luck to you!

I'm sorry you've had a bad initial experience with FJ. We've been burned a quite few times before by people posing as insiders/trolling us and so defenses are up. If you stick around, I think you'll develop a better impression. But if this isn't your kind of place, I understand that as well. Congratulations on your accomplishments and what you've overcome. Many people twice your age haven't yet found the internal strength you already have to face uncomfortable truths in their lives.

Yeah, the “guilty until proven innocent” approach is not exactly healthy for me after putting myself out there... but I understand why your defenses are up. I’d have absolutely no qualms about getting verified though..... especially since my post was thrown on here without my prior knowledge anyway. Nothing to lose, at least.

[nokidsmom]

Like @nausicaa the AMA did not trigger my BS O'Meter.   During my years here, there have been other posters who have talked about their experiences in knowing / dealing with the Bateseseses (as I like to call them) in some form and honestly, to me, her story rings consistent with those tellings.

Becoming Catholic also did not strike me as odd, namely for the reasons @nausicaamentioned.  Also given she was in mainstream churches before her family joined the fundy church, it makes sense she's going back to what is, a mainstream church.   One's spiritual journey can take all kinds of twists and turns which is why some people go fundie.  Or decide it doesn't fit them once they have the freedom to make the choice for themselves. 

16 hours ago, JordynDarby5 said:

Yeah, that part isn't hard to believe seeing how obnoxious they are on their own show. 

I can only take them in very small doses.   It just astounds me how some people want to think they are that nice, big wholesome Christian family because it's damned annoying to see how they act. 

Edited July 22, 2019 by nokidsmom

[singsingsing]

Becoming Catholic is actually a pretty common response I’ve seen from quite a few other ex-fundamentalists, so that definitely doesn’t strike me as odd. I considered converting to Catholicism when I was on my way out of Protestant Christianity, before I made peace with being an agnostic-atheist.

[mstee]

I have some fundie cousins (they traded alcohol and pills for Jesus) and their circle is small. Very small. You are either in or you’re not. And they are quick to kick you out. All in all (fundie or not) they are shitty humans but I can see that similarity between them and the Bates and the attitude of our way is the only right way. Ya know, Jesus was super exclusive ?

[nolongerIFBx]

19 hours ago, ZingerWinger said:

Yeah, the “guilty until proven innocent” approach is not exactly healthy for me after putting myself out there... but I understand why your defenses are up. I’d have absolutely no qualms about getting verified though..... especially since my post was thrown on here without my prior knowledge anyway. Nothing to lose, at least.

I wanted to tell you that what you posted on Reddit about smiling all the time and repressing feelings really resonated with me. The smiling all the time is something that I still do and hate that about myself. People remark on it all the time, "Everything must be okay, NoLonger IFBx is still smiling." And it just isn't the time/place to explain that I was trained to smile all the time no matter what. It isn't okay, it is un-natural! Sigh. Hoping you all the best as you find your place in faith and this world.

[mollysmom]

4 hours ago, mstee said:

I have some fundie cousins (they traded alcohol and pills for Jesus) and their circle is small. Very small. You are either in or you’re not. And they are quick to kick you out. All in all (fundie or not) they are shitty humans but I can see that similarity between them and the Bates and the attitude of our way is the only right way. Ya know, Jesus was super exclusive ?

That is EXACTLY how my fundie family operates. They no longer speak to me. I'm not good enough for their circle (which is usually fine by me) They really are very shitty people. Nothing like the Jesus they claim to serve, that's for sure. 

Edited July 22, 2019 by mollysmom

[llucie]

On 7/22/2019 at 12:57 AM, ZingerWinger said:

Hey everyone. I’m the original poster of the reddit AMA here. Popping back on after a commenter on my post said they’d found my thread from FJ. 

I left people waiting for my verification. Sorry for that. There are a lot of curious minds here.  I requested the deletion of my first post is because I didn’t like how I wrote it. It was entirely focused around the Bates’ family... and shortly after I posted it and the questions came in, I felt internal conflict about “targeting” them. They were the most influential and close friends I had in IBLP ( people on this forum are questioning how close we were .... we visited each other’s houses regularly for six years, but I digress), and there’s a lot of conflict that still accompanies talking about them. 

When I reposted my story, I chose to center it around my church and my experiences with IBLP. The Bates are an undeniably big part of that, so their names will come up over and again — but that’s just the way of it. My love for them is the reason it took me 10 years to share my story at all. 

Like I said on reddit earlier, I find FJ to be suffocatingly judgmental. Even the comments here, about my alleged “attention-seeking and neediness” and “I doubt she really knew them” , “why is she going Catholic?” when writing that post sapped my emotional energy dry, is a tiny window into that. Sharing this story has been taxing beyond words even 10 years later, and I don’t need to be surrounded by more women ready to pull their knives out. Having come from a world of misogyny, I’d like to believe we’re better elsewhere. 

Anyway, hope that answers some of your questions. Have a nice day, all. 

After seeing your post in reddit i had no doubt that you were best friends with them. There was a photo of you and Erin twining with the same dress while Michael was twining with your sister, they were clearly homemade dresses too, how are you suposed to fake that? lol

That why i felt confident in posting the direct message that you send me the other time, since it didnt reveal any secret info anyway, its just another comment similar to the ones you did in the ama, but just because nobody asked that specific thing in the ama and i thought it may be interesting for some people. I never thought it was private info, but if it was i am sorry. If it was not then if you give me permission i think it will be ok to post it again if the moods agree.

But i have to tell you that althought fundiesnark mostly focuses in other fundies that are not the Bates, they are not nice at all to them either. It seems to me that you maybe still care about the Bates, and althought i couldnt care less about them, i think you should know that if you didnt want to trow the family to the lions maybe it was not a good place. Althought to be honest i think anywere you posted that they wouldnt like, its not puting them in a good light at all and they are all about image nowadays.

[BeccaGrim]

I just need to drop in to say I cannot believe how many professional photographs these people have. Josie has the professional photographer in the delivery room.  They have professional baby announcements with photographers.  Then the weddings. Every time I turn around they are posting pictures that are being taken by professional photographers.  I can't get my family to pose for ten minutes. 

[JanasTattooParlor]

24 minutes ago, BeccaGrim said:

I just need to drop in to say I cannot believe how many professional photographs these people have. Josie has the professional photographer in the delivery room.  They have professional baby announcements with photographers.  Then the weddings. Every time I turn around they are posting pictures that are being taken by professional photographers.  I can't get my family to pose for ten minutes. 

To be fair, most of their pictures, including the birth ones and recent baby announcements are all done by Taryn, blur master extraordinaire. She seems to be a good family friend at this point with all the pictures she does for them. 

[Dandruff]

26 minutes ago, JanasTattooParlor said:

To be fair, most of their pictures, including the birth ones and recent baby announcements are all done by Taryn, blur master extraordinaire. She seems to be a good family friend at this point with all the pictures she does for them. 

It may also help bring in business for Taryn, for people who like blur anyway.

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, BeccaGrim said:

I just need to drop in to say I cannot believe how many professional photographs these people have. Josie has the professional photographer in the delivery room.  They have professional baby announcements with photographers.  Then the weddings. Every time I turn around they are posting pictures that are being taken by professional photographers.  I can't get my family to pose for ten minutes. 

And $10 says that Kelly Jo and anyone else in the delivery room from the Bates clan will have their cell phones out taking even more pics. 

[front hugs > duggs]

I feel somewhat confident that Katie is courting or has a special friend or whatever. She had a story up with a brother/sister, who upon instagram- stalking (oops) seems like they are from New Jersey. Then, she has a picture up in her story of her and Kelly and she's in an Ocean City, NJ t-shirt, which is apparently where this Clark family vacations. She also follows both brother and sister on instagram.

[lumpentheologie]

58 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

I feel somewhat confident that Katie is courting or has a special friend or whatever. She had a story up with a brother/sister, who upon instagram- stalking (oops) seems like they are from New Jersey. Then, she has a picture up in her story of her and Kelly and she's in an Ocean City, NJ t-shirt, which is apparently where this Clark family vacations. She also follows both brother and sister on instagram.

Yep, insta stalking definitely points to a relationship.  Erin, Tori, and Michaela also follow him.  So do Kelton and Evan. And Katie follows several members of his family (and no one else in her family follows them).  

ETA: His latest insta post says "So excited for this summer and all the exciting transitions to come in my life!"  He also just graduated from college and seems to have just gotten his insta account 18 weeks ago. 

ETA2: And it seems he's only 18.  Interesting. Maybe it wasn't college he graduated from. 

Edited July 28, 2019 by lumpentheologie

[lumpentheologie]

Since Katie tagged his insta on her story, I think it's fair game to leave this here: 

He's the youngest of 3 kids. He's a musician. And he seems to have gone to an actual high school. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Only 3 kids? Interesting, very interesting, as is the fact that he went to an actual high school. (I am aware that many, many fundies do come from smaller families for various reasons. I just still find it interesting.) 

[lumpentheologie]

Aha! From the bio on his youtube channel (linked in the insta bio), he went to Solid Rock Christian School and attends Solid Rock Baptist Church, located in Berlin, New Jersey: http://www.solidrockbaptist.org/

Edited July 28, 2019 by lumpentheologie

[VelociRapture]

Ugh. She’s only 18. Apparently, so is he. I hope if they are romantically interested in each other that this is another long relationship prior to any potential marriage happening.

ETA: Usual Disclaimer about knowing that “Some 18 Year Olds Are Mature Enough For Marriage,” etc. etc.

Edited July 28, 2019 by VelociRapture

[lumpentheologie]

4 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Ugh. She’s only 18. Apparently, so is he. I hope if they are romantically interested in each other that this is another long relationship prior to any potential marriage happening.

ETA: Usual Disclaimer about knowing that “Some 18 Year Olds Are Mature Enough For Marriage,” etc. etc.

He doesn't seem to have a clear means of supporting a family, so I bet they'll at least wait until he gets some kind of skill. That's what happened with Kelton and Evan.  

[Kelsey]

He certainly looks like a Bates boyfriend. All the Bates family male in laws look very similar, imo.

[Tangy Bee]

2 hours ago, Kelsey said:

He certainly looks like a Bates boyfriend. All the Bates family male in laws look very similar, imo.

Bummer. Never happy when a very young fundie starts a relationship. Very curious about how they crossed paths in the first place.

[lumpentheologie]

I can't really blame the Bates girls for wanting to marry young, since it's effectively their only way to leave home, and we know what their parents are like. I honestly think it would be easier for them to get a divorce than leave their parental house without permission. Especially for Katie and Josie, who have marketable skills. The main down side for me is that they inevitably start having children right away and then pass on so much of how they were raised. 

[theotherelise]

Skirts-only family with a family (cousin?) band that sings at different baptist churches and awkwardly close bro-sis pictures everywhere? Yeah, sounds about right.

One of the cousins talked about being excited Travis was graduating high school and looking forward to him coming to college because it was going to be "LITTTT." There is one graduation picture for a college and it is V___ Baptist College on the diploma. Possibly Vision Baptist College in Berlin NJ? http://www.visionbaptistcollege.org/ It's not SBC, but in their general education, the men take courses about preaching while the women can choose from a few including "Ministry Secretary" or "Ministry Wife."

No hope for loosening the beliefs with this potential match, but I'm sure the instagram pics will be worth it ?

Adding: His sister teaches kindergarten at the christian school, so that's nice I guess.

[llucie]

On 7/28/2019 at 5:45 PM, lumpentheologie said:

Since Katie tagged his insta on her story, I think it's fair game to leave this here: 

He's the youngest of 3 kids. He's a musician. And he seems to have gone to an actual high school. 

He looks super young. I know he is 18 but if you tell me he is 13 i would believe it, such a baby face.

5 hours ago, theotherelise said:

Skirts-only family with a family (cousin?) band that sings at different baptist churches and awkwardly close bro-sis pictures everywhere? Yeah, sounds about right.

One of the cousins talked about being excited Travis was graduating high school and looking forward to him coming to college because it was going to be "LITTTT." There is one graduation picture for a college and it is V___ Baptist College on the diploma. Possibly Vision Baptist College in Berlin NJ? http://www.visionbaptistcollege.org/ It's not SBC, but in their general education, the men take courses about preaching while the women can choose from a few including "Ministry Secretary" or "Ministry Wife."

No hope for loosening the beliefs with this potential match, but I'm sure the instagram pics will be worth it ?

Adding: His sister teaches kindergarten at the christian school, so that's nice I guess.

So he is just starting college this year? Then i suposse they are ok with a long relationship because it would be hypocritical to allow them to marry before he finishes his degree after making Carlin wait. Depends on what he is going to study but at least 2 years, so hopefully they will be in their 20s when they marry.

Edited July 29, 2019 by llucie
edit: all of this assuming there is anything more than friendship, althought i have never seen the girls have a male friend that they were not courting

[JillyO]

I checked out Travis's Instagram this morning and it was public. Just checked again and he has since gone private. So I think that's a pretty good indicator that there's something there, or else why go private all of a sudden?

I certainly hope they tell these kids to slow their roll and wait a good, long time before they move towards marriage. If he just graduated high school and he's planning to go to college, it will be at least two years until he has any kind of income. So hopefully that means they won't get married for at least that long, which would make them 20 at the very least.

This is all fucking depressing. I wish these kidults saw a way to get out of the house without getting married and immediately procreating.

ETA: Actually, if @theotherelise is right and Travis is going to Vision Baptist College this fall, then he will only be able to do a four-year degree*, so that would mean he won't be able to support a family for at least four years.

*They offer a two-year Associate's degree in Bible and Church Advancement, but that's "available for ladies only."

Also, to demonstrate to you what a joke this college is: Students can have a "Ministry Specialty Area" in Home Economics. (Surprisingly, this one doesn't say "available for ladies only," but that's probably because no guy in their world would ever dare enroll in Home Economics in the first place.) So in this specialty, the ladies will take the following, highly academic classes:

• Meal Preparation I
• Meal Preparation II
• Home Design & Decoration
• Sewing I
• Sewing II
• Baking

Okay then.

Edited July 30, 2019 by JillyO

[just_ordinary]

While I agree the chances are high there is a courtship to be announced I don’t think going private is proof of that.

If I appeared in a public photo and suddenly a bunch of strangers online start to dig in my account and look into my family and my education I would be terrified as hell. I do wonder if what we do comes dangerously close to doxxing (search for and publish private or identifying information on the internet). We might miss the malicious  intent but that is actually not the decisive criteria. 

I also don’t think it would be a problem if they had to wait shorter or longer than Carlin and Evan. They never clarified why they had to wait iirc. And even though Gil and Kelly aren’t the most interested parents (understatement, I know) I think they do realise that they have to look at the individuals/ individual couple to make sure they support a match that won’t bring them bad publicity but look all perfect.  They did an surprisingly well job so far. At least as far as what’s in the open.