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Georgiana

Bates 27: I Want My Bates TV

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Georgiana

 

Sorry for the title!  I'm not frequently here!  But I stopped by to see if anyone had read the AMA a former friend of the Bates posted on reddit.  And it turns out, everyone was already talking about the impact of the TV show on the family.  @HermioneSparrow mentioned it too! If you can stand reddit formatting, here's a link to the AMA which discusses the evolution of the Bates family as they started getting more popular and showing up on TLC (the author posted personal photos with Erin Bates-Paine, so she certainly knew the Bates to some extent):

Continued from:

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Mischievous
nelliebelle1197
Posted (edited)

This may be the person who never got verified by Curious. The language is similar.

ETA: yeah, I am pretty sure it is the same person.

Edited by nelliebelle1197

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NoKidsAndCounting

Thank you for sharing the AMA.  It was sad, yet eye-opening.  It sheds light not only on the Bates but on the bad practices of the fundie churches in general.  It also sounds like proper hellfire is coming to IBLP soon.  Good.  I hope The Fab David Waller has other employment plans on deck.

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VelociRapture

The Bateses sounds like they were truly unpleasant people to be around unless you were one of the chosen few. That’s really sucky that she lost her friends when the Church split, but I think she’s probably a lot better off without them really involved in her life. 

I am kind of curious about what that whole Alabama scandal is about that was mentioned. 

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nickelodeon

Fascinating stuff. Especially the points about the Bateses’ double lives at their church and IBLP and the trouble it caused. Once a duplicitous grifter in Narnia, always a duplicitous grifter in Narnia, I guess.

And the anti-Christmas stuff! I get the feeling that this sentiment survives in “I Love You Day”. The reasoning behind that tradition always seemed kind of dodgy.

Also unsurprised that Zach was one of THOSE homeskool teen boys who stans the Confederacy and really really wants to “debate” about it, like how normal kids would argue about whether Superman is stronger than Goku. 

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PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea

Going back to a topic on the last page, if the second-generation Bates move away from Quiverfull family sizes, yes, they could still be fundy, but there's less environmental impact of having so many kids (and disposable plates) and fewer kids subjected to the cult. So still a win, I'd say.

 

The AMA is pretty interesting. Thanks for posting it!

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formergothardite
13 hours ago, nickelodeon said:

Also unsurprised that Zach was one of THOSE homeskool teen boys who stans the Confederacy and really really wants to “debate” about it, like how normal kids would argue about whether Superman is stronger than Goku

I wouldn't be surprised if most of the Bates kids were like that. I bet Gil and Kelly justified removing pictures of the shrine to racism by claiming the ebil liberals don't understand and they need to keep those things a bit quieter so their show won't be attacked. 

I find it interesting that Lawson, who dares to show what the family really believes, has cleaned up his Twitter to remove the hate. I wonder if the family, or UP producers, reminded him that the family wants to keep their real selves hidden. 

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hoipolloi

Folks --

As a reminder, do not post private information here, including stuff from private social media accounts or verbatim portions of things like texts or direct messages, even when you are a participant in the convo. Unless you have permission from the other party or parties -- AND their consent to publication has been verified by FJ Admins -- you may not post any quotations, screenshots, etc. A paraphrase is OK.

Please review our guideline on privacy and private information, and how/when to share things you might learn from private sources.

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marmalade

I remember that young woman started a thread on FJ with an abridged version of the AMA. It was taken down, and I never went back to see if she was verified here. 

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nelliebelle1197
7 hours ago, marmalade said:

I remember that young woman started a thread on FJ with an abridged version of the AMA. It was taken down, and I never went back to see if she was verified here. 

Yeah, I remember that too and that is why I take her with a grain of salt right now. If @Curious has not verified a fundie, I don't trust it.

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Tired
Curious
3 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Yeah, I remember that too and that is why I take her with a grain of salt right now. If @Curious has not verified a fundie, I don't trust it.

I don't recall the name off the top of my head, but someone asked about verification.  I sent the info I needed to verify them and never heard back again so far.

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justmy2cents
9 hours ago, marmalade said:

I remember that young woman started a thread on FJ with an abridged version of the AMA. It was taken down, and I never went back to see if she was verified here. 

Didn’t someone say she changed her mind about posting here so she didn’t bother getting verified? She provided a picture with Erin and Michaela in the Reddit post so it seems she does know them. 

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Wine time!
nokidsmom

Read the AMA, really fascinating stuff.  It does confirm some things I always felt about them, namely they are waaayyyy worse than what they show themselves as on TV and social media.   I mean, we know they hide who they are but they have been fooling people and grifting off them for a very long time, long before they actively polished up their image.

On 7/19/2019 at 7:52 PM, VelociRapture said:

The Bateses sounds like they were truly unpleasant people to be around unless you were one of the chosen few.

Over time, there's been people who have met them who have posted snippets of what it was like to deal with them.  I always thought that most people around them, fundie or not, do not appreciate the family, they are a PITA in general to deal and as a result the family might be pretty alone, only being with their chosen few.    And it sounds like the chosen few can easily get on the wrong side of them. 

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Vivi_music
On 7/19/2019 at 8:52 PM, VelociRapture said:

The Bateses sounds like they were truly unpleasant people to be around unless you were one of the chosen few.

I really do not know what is true or not in that AMA, but I would not be surprised by that.

Apparently Erin was not shy to tell her own friend that her dress was getting too short (shin level), and I guess the tone was not very sweet if it made the other girl cry. Michael also telling a babysitter she was going to hell for wearing pants. Or proudly told her own Grandfather she did not know any of the Beatles' song. And little Josie laughing at her friend for celebrating in Christmas colors.

Sorry to be blunt but... this makes the Bates kids sound like obnoxious little shits.

 

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nelliebelle1197
21 minutes ago, Vivi_music said:

I really do not know what is true or not in that AMA, but I would not be surprised by that.

Apparently Erin was not shy to tell her own friend that her dress was getting too short (shin level), and I guess the tone was not very sweet if it made the other girl cry. Michael also telling a babysitter she was going to hell for wearing pants. Or proudly told her own Grandfather she did not know any of the Beatles' song. And little Josie laughing at her friend for celebrating in Christmas colors.

Sorry to be blunt but... this makes the Bates kids sound like obnoxious little shits.

 

I find them that was as "adults".

1 hour ago, justmy2cents said:

Didn’t someone say she changed her mind about posting here so she didn’t bother getting verified? She provided a picture with Erin and Michaela in the Reddit post so it seems she does know them. 

Which makes me more suspicious of her. She may have known them but that does not mean she knew them as well as she says. It could have just been someone they met at an IBLP conference. She also contradicts herself a couple times in the AMA. Not saying she is not for real but I always raise an eyebrow.

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AliceInFundyland

The thing I find odd about her is that she has decided to convert to Catholicism for historical accuracy.

After reading her whole spiel that seemed... Off.

I wasn't expecting her to announce a return to another traditional religion.

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justmy2cents
1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Which makes me more suspicious of her. She may have known them but that does not mean she knew them as well as she says. It could have just been someone they met at an IBLP conference. She also contradicts herself a couple times in the AMA. Not saying she is not for real but I always raise an eyebrow.

I get what you’re saying. The most she can prove is that she knew them. The other stuff can be made up or embellished. Some of it sounds believable enough though.

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mstee

She didn’t seem to have any story that was too crazy to be believable. She seemed more bitter over the fact that they had shamed her for mundane mainstream stuff (like her clothes or knowing what looney toons is) and then sold out by being on TV. I agree the Catholicism caught me off guard as well, but maybe she is just comfortable having a religion since she hasn’t been out too long. 

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nausicaa
42 minutes ago, mstee said:

She didn’t seem to have any story that was too crazy to be believable. She seemed more bitter over the fact that they had shamed her for mundane mainstream stuff (like her clothes or knowing what looney toons is) and then sold out by being on TV. I agree the Catholicism caught me off guard as well, but maybe she is just comfortable having a religion since she hasn’t been out too long. 

Yeah, I'd like to think I have a pretty good BS detector and she didn't ring it at all. The only thing I suspect is that she may be exaggerating just how well she knew the Bateses (i.e., the girls were casual friends but not besties). That could also be an honest trick of her memory at this point too. 

The Catholicism thing actually makes sense to me. If she still wants to be religious, I imagine mainstream Catholics, with their lack of strict rules about personal clothing choices, hobbies, education, and popular media, would be seen as a relief. Also, she doesn't have to worry about breakaway churches severing her church community as happened in her childhood. 

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formergothardite
4 hours ago, Vivi_music said:

this makes the Bates kids sound like obnoxious little shits.

From what they have shown of themselves, the Bates have always seemed like they would be obnoxious little shits to be around,  

Their old blog made them seem insufferable and IMO a great many of them are just like Lawson, they just know not to spread the hate around. 

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JordynDarby5
34 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

From what they have shown of themselves, the Bates have always seemed like they would be obnoxious little shits to be around,  

Their old blog made them seem insufferable and IMO a great many of them are just like Lawson, they just know not to spread the hate around. 

Yeah, that part isn't hard to believe seeing how obnoxious they are on their own show. 

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Mischievous
nelliebelle1197
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

I get what you’re saying. The most she can prove is that she knew them. The other stuff can be made up or embellished. Some of it sounds believable enough though.

Totally agree - I find it weird she would not get verified in this smaller, safer space then posts pics of herself on the hellscape of Reddit. There seems to be some sort neediness and attention seeking in the whole thing. I am uncomfortable with that.

Edited by nelliebelle1197
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ZingerWinger
Posted (edited)

Hey everyone. I’m the original poster of the reddit AMA here. Popping back on after a commenter on my post said they’d found my thread from FJ. 

I left people waiting for my verification. Sorry for that. There are a lot of curious minds here.  I requested the deletion of my first post is because I didn’t like how I wrote it. It was entirely focused around the Bates’ family... and shortly after I posted it and the questions came in, I felt internal conflict about “targeting” them. They were the most influential and close friends I had in IBLP ( people on this forum are questioning how close we were .... we visited each other’s houses regularly for six years, but I digress), and there’s a lot of conflict that still accompanies talking about them. 

When I reposted my story, I chose to center it around my church and my experiences with IBLP. The Bates are an undeniably big part of that, so their names will come up over and again — but that’s just the way of it. My love for them is the reason it took me 10 years to share my story at all. 

Like I said on reddit earlier, I find FJ to be suffocatingly judgmental. Even the comments here, about my alleged “attention-seeking and neediness” and “I doubt she really knew them” , “why is she going Catholic?” when writing that post sapped my emotional energy dry, is a tiny window into that. Sharing this story has been taxing beyond words even 10 years later, and I don’t need to be surrounded by more women ready to pull their knives out. Having come from a world of misogyny, I’d like to believe we’re better elsewhere. 

Anyway, hope that answers some of your questions. Have a nice day, all. 

Edited by ZingerWinger
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ZingerWinger
2 hours ago, nausicaa said:

Yeah, I'd like to think I have a pretty good BS detector and she didn't ring it at all. The only thing I suspect is that she may be exaggerating just how well she knew the Bateses (i.e., the girls were casual friends but not besties). That could also be an honest trick of her memory at this point too. 

The Catholicism thing actually makes sense to me. If she still wants to be religious, I imagine mainstream Catholics, with their lack of strict rules about personal clothing choices, hobbies, education, and popular media, would be seen as a relief. Also, she doesn't have to worry about breakaway churches severing her church community as happened in her childhood. 

Also, you are right. ❤️ I met a Catholic who shaped my entire idea of Christianity and religion in general. His church is super altruistic and welcoming, and he is too. I don’t see it as a return to strictness, but a totally new way of life.

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nausicaa
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, ZingerWinger said:

Also, you are right. ❤️ I met a Catholic who shaped my entire idea of Christianity and religion in general. His church is super altruistic and welcoming, and he is too. I don’t see it as a return to strictness, but a totally new way of life.

Good luck to you!

I'm sorry you've had a bad initial experience with FJ. We've been burned quite a few times before by people posing as insiders/trolling us and so defenses are up. If you stick around, I think you'll develop a better impression. But if this isn't your kind of place, I understand that as well. Congratulations on your accomplishments and what you've overcome. Many people twice your age haven't yet found the internal strength you already have to face uncomfortable truths in their lives.

Edited by nausicaa
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