Seewalds 38: Waiting on Seaweed Three

[justoneoftwo]

If you know when your last period started you can know the due date immediately. The part I found was surprising what could this indicate she was further along in the miscarriage than I expected. Do dates cam change based on scans and that can happen at any point when you get a scan. Mine changed by two days at 24 weeks

[singsingsing]

If she was due in the first week of June like Jessa, she would have conceived around the middle of September. She miscarried in October, so she would have been around 5-9 weeks pregnant, depending on when in October she miscarried.

[AtlanticTug]

10 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

If you know when your last period started you can know the due date immediately. The part I found was surprising what could this indicate she was further along in the miscarriage than I expected. Do dates cam change based on scans and that can happen at any point when you get a scan. Mine changed by two days at 24 weeks

That’s only true if you ovulate on day 14. Many people don’t.

[justoneoftwo]

3 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

That’s only true if you ovulate on day 14. Many people don’t.

I don't and its still how my ob did the estimated due date, they just adjust it later if needed. 

[singsingsing]

Plus, you can ovulate on a day other than day 14 and still know when you ovulated, and determine your due date based on that.

[JesSky03]

I don't think it's necessary to argue over whether or not Lauren knew her actual correct due date down to the day or not. When I called my doctor with my one natural pregnancy I told them my last LMP and they told me the estimated due date (Aug.18th). I had nothing else to go off of so that date was significant to me and it seems a bit insensitive to get into the semantics over whether or not the due date she has provided is "accurate". Even now, 3 years later and with a 1 year old, when someone is due anytime in August it hurts a little bit because that is when I was supposed to have MY baby and its like they are stealing that month from me (logically I know that's not true).  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I can solve this, someone have Pickles ask Laruen & Jessa what their due dates were, and make sure she asks if Lauren went to the doctor and had the proper testing to confirm the exact due date, prior to miscarrying. So we can be sure Jessa wasn't lying when she said they shared a due date. 

 

We don't need to know this, it isn't relevant and honestly a lot silly. 

 

*ETA* sorry to sound so bitchy, it is just rubbing me the wrong way that we are nitpicking a due date of a miscarried pregnancy. Seems kind of weird to me. 

[singsingsing]

I didn't realize anyone was nitpicking Lauren's due date - I thought the conversation had moved to talking about due dates in a totally general sense.

[NakedKnees]

Backtracking a little bit just to chime in on how pleasantly stunned I am at how well-written and sensitive Jessa's post about Lauren's miscarriage was. I don't know where those communication skills came from. There was a lot of evidence of solid women-supporting-women there. 

Sheer speculation, but I wonder if Jessa is maybe preparing to pivot her brand for when the Duggar gravy train ends. I don't want to sound insensitive; I fully believe that this post came from her heart and that what it says is true. But the way its done (in comparison with normal Duggar niceties) would shine in ANY brand context, not just a niche fundie-celebrity one, and I think that's sort of neat.

[TZmom]

12 minutes ago, NakedKnees said:

Sheer speculation, but I wonder if Jessa is maybe preparing to pivot her brand for when the Duggar gravy train ends. 

I'm sure I'm wrong,  but I've always felt like Jessa was not fully into the koolaid and is just keeping up appearances because she is financially dependent on it.  Plus,  she's married to Ben who seems the most open-minded of the husbands. It won't surprise me if she makes some changes when the show is over. But it won't surprise me if she sticks with it either. 

[singsingsing]

Jessa is admittedly probably my favourite Duggar, but I don't see how she's any less into the kool-aid than her sisters. If anything, she's one of the most immersed. She lives in a Duggar property, she's at the TTH all the time, she seems to maintain a very close relationship with her parents, she's still as far as we know skirts-only (aside from swimming and such), she and Ben are just as immersed in trendy fundamentalist Calvinism as Jinger and Jeremy, she's on her third baby in less than four years... She seems pretty bright, and I've always loved that she has a more assertive, snarky personality, and it's not that I think she's a clone of Michelle or that there's no hope for them leaving, but I don't really see many signs of her flying the coop. She seems pretty content with their lifestyle.

[Carm_88]

Jessa has no reason to leave the lifestyle. She is getting everything that she wants from it. Why would she leave? 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

10 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Jessa has no reason to leave the lifestyle. She is getting everything that she wants from it. Why would she leave? 

To be able to live life on her terms and not her parents? Aside from that she's got everything. Trust me living with controlling parents even as an adult get real old real fast, even when you agree with their rules.  Not saying that she's going anywhere, because honestly its a 50/50 shoot her and Ben make a run for mainstream conservatism or life beyond the confines of family & NWA. 

[SassyPants]

1 minute ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

To be able to live life on her terms and not her parents? Aside from that she's got everything. Trust me living with controlling parents even as an adult get real old real fast, even when you agree with their rules.  Not saying that she's going anywhere, because honestly its a 50/50 shoot her and Ben make a run for mainstream conservatism or life beyond the confines of family & NWA. 

You know what else gets really old, really fast? Having to have 2 crappy, low paying FT jobs commensurate with your skill and educations levels, and likely without any medical insurance, a gaggle of kids in a teeny-tiny, albeit likely mortgage free home, and having to bust hump for the next 45 years just to survive..cutting into datenights, restaurant meals, effing off all the time, vacations...

[Galbin]

I came here after reading Jessa's post. Back in October I had a chemical pregnancy. People on the TTC thread were lovely, but I had one relative who told me and I quote, "It's not a big deal.  Everyone has them. People have loads of miscarriages." It really upset me as it was extremely dismissive. As time goes on, I have gotten sadder about the loss. I am on my final cycle of injectables and if this does not work I have to have surgery. Our options if surgery doesn't fix that are limited so I feel like this might have been my only shot. My child would have been due the 25th of June and I know I will always think of them on that date. 

Jessa's post really made me feel listened to at a deep level. Like I actually did have a baby and that he/she is gone. I am pro life (including anti war, extremely pro social welfare etc.), but before this I felt that I didn't have the right to be as upset as those who had later miscarriages. Jessa's post was beautiful.

I have always loved Jessa anyway, as she has a very similar personality to my hubby. Today's post just cemented that even more. She is definitely my pet fundie.

[tabitha2]

Ready Money and an  easy going husband  who dosen't try to be the lord and master of you and your children is probably the ultimate dream of most of these women.  They are accustomed  to living by strict rules  and restrictions from infancy literally so it’s most likely not all that frustrating, confining ETC.  But now having money and an easy to manage husband like Jessa has is something special or perhaps Gods reward for being a chaste, obedient, modest  daughter. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

On 2/22/2019 at 11:07 AM, JesSky03 said:

I had nothing else to go off of so that date was significant to me and it seems a bit insensitive to get into the semantics over whether or not the due date she has provided is "accurate". Even now, 3 years later and with a 1 year old, when someone is due anytime in August it hurts a little bit because that is when I was supposed to have MY baby and its like they are stealing that month from me (logically I know that's not true).  

One reason that FJ's recent discussions about miscarriage (and I'm glad we talk about it) have been a little more personal for me this time is that I realized I would have had a child turning 13 years old this month if my first pregnancy hadn't ended in a miscarriage. I've spent less and less time thinking about that potential child as time has gone on (especially since we had our 2 kids) but I still wonder sometimes who that child might be by now. 

I'm glad Jessa showed sensitivity and compassion. Maybe someday she can also be sensitive to, and feel compassion for people who are very different from herself and her family. Maybe?

[Melissa1977]

On 2/22/2019 at 9:25 PM, TZmom said:

I'm sure I'm wrong,  but I've always felt like Jessa was not fully into the koolaid and is just keeping up appearances because she is financially dependent on it.  Plus,  she's married to Ben who seems the most open-minded of the husbands. It won't surprise me if she makes some changes when the show is over. But it won't surprise me if she sticks with it either. 

Jessa is really a fundie. She's a believer and follows her parent's teachings. She seems to be spacing pregnancies and my only hope is that she follows that way. But having less than 19 kids won't make her less fundie.

I think Jessa was angry and bitter as a teenager because she was forced to work a lot and she didn't like mothering her siblings at all. Her personality changed when she had Spurgeon.

Ben and Jessa don't need to keep up appearances. If they'd want to leave fundamentalism, they could still get Duggar money, as long as they kept more or less conservative and discreet.

[SassyPants]

Here’s what many of the Duggars do not understand because they lack real world experiences and self awareness. Unless Joy’s sole purpose in posting about being away on a couple’s retreat right before Gideon’s birthday was to draw negative attention to herself, from the start she could have mentioned being away on a retreat AND that they were also looking forward to celebrating with Gideon ON his birthday. She could have avoided stirring up all the “haters” that Jessa referenced by being clear from the beginning that she and Austin would also be home with Gideon on his first Birthday. Dim or passive aggressive attention seekers, take your pick.

5 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Jessa is really a fundie. She's a believer and follows her parent's teachings. She seems to be spacing pregnancies and my only hope is that she follows that way. But having less than 19 kids won't make her less fundie.

I think Jessa was angry and bitter as a teenager because she was forced to work a lot and she didn't like mothering her siblings at all. Her personality changed when she had Spurgeon.

Ben and Jessa don't need to keep up appearances. If they'd want to leave fundamentalism, they could still get Duggar money, as long as they kept more or less conservative and discreet.

Discreet and attention seeking don’t go well together.

[Carm_88]

Spurgeon and Henry were enjoying the nice weather! 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

It's cute how the Seewald boys have similar chubby little faces, but different hair colours. I guess the blond comes from the Duggar side?

As gor Jessa, I think she'll remain fundie, but with a trendy soccer mom veneer.

Have we seen pants on Jessa yet (aside from board shorts for swimming)?

[Carm_88]

Busy boys! 

[Satan'sFortress]

Lovely post about Lauren and to all parents who have experienced such a loss.  I got no snark today.

[Sullie06]

On 2/24/2019 at 4:19 AM, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

One reason that FJ's recent discussions about miscarriage (and I'm glad we talk about it) have been a little more personal for me this time is that I realized I would have had a child turning 13 years old this month if my first pregnancy hadn't ended in a miscarriage. I've spent less and less time thinking about that potential child as time has gone on (especially since we had our 2 kids) but I still wonder sometimes who that child might be by now. 

My sentiments exactly. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage as well. He (we knew it was a boy from genetic testing) would have been 8 last month. 8 years.... that seems insane to me because it feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at once. When I look at our now 5 year old son, I often get pangs of sadness. I wonder who our firstborn would have been, the relationship he would have had with his brother, how he would be navigating school. January 9th (his due date) will always hold that place in my heart

[kiwi]

I had disappointment on my second child (we found out at 20 weeks) I was SOOOO sure it was another girl, but nope, definitely a boy! I had to readjust my whole mental picture of our family.. but now it's great! (he's 6 now)  took me a week or so though.

Similar here, boy-girl-girl. Our son was chilled and a very easy baby. Our daughter had extreme reflux, power chucking across rooms, 2-3 extra loads of washing a day, didn’t sleep well - she’d be up from 3pm-3am screaming and when we did get her to sleep she’d have aponea episodes.! Obviously when we found out we were pregnant again we hoped for that easy chilled little boy. I felt with everything in me the baby was a boy, only had boy names and boy clothes brought. Imagine my surprise finding out at 20 weeks baby was a girl - all my fears become reality. She had horrific reflux as well, aponea episodes and all. Thankfully she slept better than her sister so we survived! I still don’t know how we survived though - our marriage and hubbys job. We were running on such little sleep for 3+ years!! Shes now the bossiest 8 year old, and I wouldn’t change a thing!