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Seewalds 38: Waiting on Seaweed Three


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I have a daughter, so I can answer this. I’d want her to figure out for herself who she relates to more, not dictate it for her. As a mother my job is to offer her a wide variety of options and then s

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PainfullyAware

If it's a 2 bedroom they rent then I guess the boys are already sharing? 3 in 1 room (eventually) would be a squeeze. It will be time to move soon (aka into another one of Jim Bob's houses). I seem to remember they rent but maybe I've forgotten them buying it from Jim Bob?

Where I live rent is so crazy that you would have to limit family size, unless your income can grow too. Of course people with mortgages are often even more tied down, but rentals are usually 3 bedrooms max here. So no more then 5-6 kids at the absolute limit. I wonder if/when they will buy and how to house such a large family. If all the kids have large families, that's an expensive proposition, even for Jim Bob. I wonder if at some point when Josie is all grown up whether one of the 2nd gen families will move back in with Jim Bob and Michelle to take advantage of the space? Ugh!

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SorenaJ

3 kids in one bedroom sounds just fine to me, they are still so small. Or the baby could stay in Ben and Jessa's bedroom. 

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PumaLover
2 hours ago, PainfullyAware said:

 I seem to remember they rent but maybe I've forgotten them buying it from Jim Bob?

I'm pretty sure they made some arrangement and bought it from Grandma Duggar. Maybe a year or two ago? Correct me if I'm wrong.

As far as the jinder disappointment with Cathy and the crazy MIL that @Mela99 posted about, I've seen that firsthand, though not as extreme. My ex MIL had four boys and her first two grandkids were boys. It was no secret that she was disappointed because she really wanted girls. She said she actually cried when her third son was born. If I'd ever decided to have kids with my ex she would for sure have been on team pink (aka Cathy) and been vocal about what she wanted. She did end up with some granddaughters. I haven't spoken to any of them in many years but that still sticks out to me. 

I'm also curious to see what they wind up naming the baby. I never guess the baby names cuz I suck at coming up with names. LOL

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just_ordinary

It’s interesting that especially in Western countries people really want girls. Yes, one boy would be nice but if you just have one most people want girls. At least that is my experience. Female babies are the jackpot on Social Media (horrible to say but sadly true). Maybe that is why boy mums have all those hashtags (don’t know if we had the discussion in Benessa’s thread). 

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AliceInFundyland

Random exception. Khloe Kardashian wanted a boy. I happened to watch the episode of their show where she found out it was a girl. She was bummed. It was one of those moments I thought they were decent about showing on camera.

She was just like...I had it in my head it would be this way. And I’d wanted to be pregant so long. It took awhile to come around.

Too bad she chose a dumbass for a dad. I imagine she’s doing a pretty decent job though. Those girls do at least appear to like their kids.

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SorenaJ

I would of course be thrilled to get a baby of any sex, but the reason I would want a girl would be because it is easier for women to get a baby without a man, whereas it's hard for men to get a baby without a woman, so if my child didn't find a partner they wanted to have kids with, they would have an easier time going alone as a woman (who has a uterus) than a man. That would be my reasoning for wanting a girl. 

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Glasgowghirl

Cathy saying that Jill and Derick need to just keep trying was so insensitive, her already having one birth with complications that resulted in c section and the chances were that the same was going to happen, which it did. Jill and Derick may not have anymore and if they do she should be grateful with whatever they have. 

If Ben and Jessa own the house they are staying in they could extend it, especially if this baby is a girl I could see them making a girl's room. 

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HurricaneBells

My mum was disappointed I had a boy. I was excited (have four nephews dont even know what i would have done with a girl). It was... hurtful. All girls on the other side so i suppose someone was bound to be but yeah dont mind me, i just want a healthy fucking kid, Im not here for pleasing people.

On the house size topic, we are in a similar size, 3 bedrooms, one four year old and two big ass dogs and we are out of room. Then again, there is people like Erin Paine. LOL

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Mela99

Erin and Chad live in that tiny cottage with three kids. It can be done. Though I can't imagine. Our current house is about 1200sqf and I am going insane with the three of us and the cats. I want out and in a bigger place so badly. We have no storage space and no counter space...

 

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My baby just arrived three weeks ago, and we didn’t find out the sex before delivery. I was convinced for the whole pregnancy that it was a boy. Every time I dreamed about it, the baby was a boy, everyone I talked to said the way I was carrying and all my symptoms were all boy. Imagine my surprise when little baby girl arrived. I was so shocked and thrilled, but it still took me a day or two to adjust to the idea of not having a boy. 

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Alisamer

I suspect that as soon as the majority tips (numbers-wise) whoever has the most kids (probably Josh/Anna) will move into the TTH. Whether they join the family already there will remain to be seen - but I can't see JB and Michelle staying in that huge house once they're down to only 3 or 4 kids, without someone else moving in with them. They're used to having a bigger child labor force than that.

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Pecansforeveryone

I could definitely see Josh and Anna moving in a few years down the line. As of right now,they have the largest quiver and the most useless, un-employable headship of all the Duggar children. Plus in all likelihood, at least one more child and maybe as many as three more children joining the bunch requires a big house. 

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kmachete14

@just_ordinary Ok here I was thinking it was the opposite! Everywhere I look I see the hashtag "boymom" and moms on the "trend" of advocating for boys in schools. 

I always tell my fiance I would prefer to have ALL boys because my mom and I had such a horrible relationship growing up. If I had a mini me girl I would be scared of her honestly lol. Boys just seem to worship their mama :)

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neurogirl

The topic of gender disappointment is always touchy. Certainly everyone wants healthy mama and healthy baby, but my husband wants a son and I want a daughter. Doesn't mean I would love a son any less, but when we picture our family we picture that "perfect dollhouse" family of at least 1 girl and 1 boy. 

So i'm trying to combat my views now, before we try for children. I follow "boy moms" on instagram, and since I'm an only child, I imagine telling my parents that they had a (very stereotypically feminine) daughter, but now they will have grandsons! And my husband would be so happy. He has also mentioned, since we got the froofiest little girl dog that he adores, that he would be very excited about a girl. I wish I could just know now what my complete family will look like because I'm an anxious person, but that would take all the fun out of it! 

And I KNOW Jessa and Ben have hateful views and I don't think I've ever been a fangirl, but she is a good example of a happy "boy mom." I think they would be delighted either way, even though I'm on team baby boy Threewald.

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curlykate

We have two boys (with a loss in between them). I always wanted girls, but can’t imagine my life without my two boys. I’m definitely a boy mama!  We are done (fingers and legs crossed!!!), however if we were to have an “oopsie” I really hope it’s a girl!  I had a bit of sex disappointment when we found out our second would be a boy, but got over it fairly quickly. I’m convinced that my loss was a girl, although it was too early to know. 

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nickelodeon

Cathy's reaction to the jinder reveal party was awful. I've talked about my issues with the way people talk about the genders of fetuses before, like to know the sex is to know the personality and whole life trajectory of this person who doesn't even exist yet, so I won't babble about it again. But people like Cathy take the whole concept to such a weird place: gender is something you owe to other people, your family deserves and expects your gender. It's so creepy.

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AtlanticTug

As a mom of young kids similar to Jessa's ages (she and I actually had the same due date when she had Spurgeon), I think it's tricky to put 3 kids in one room. YES of course it can be done, yes, most people around the world would do it, I recognize all that. But if you have a choice, I don't see why you would make that one. Let's assume she moves the baby into the boys' room sometime around 6-12 months of age - you'd have Spurgeon who no longer naps except maybe once in a blue moon, Henry who probably would still nap now and then, and a baby on at least 2 naps a day, and then at least 1 nap a day until 3 or so. Babies are also notorious for waking up a lot earlier - the 12-month-old Threewald would likely be up way before almost 5-yr-old Spurgeon. And then Threewald would wake up the others which makes your whole day a lot tougher. You either have to have kids who can sleep through anything or you have to force somebody to have a schedule that doesn't really work for their age in order to have all 3 down and up at the same time.

Like I said, it can be done. But there's a reason why my kids have their own rooms and my mental state is a million times better for it.

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JermajestyDuggar
17 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Cathy's reaction to the jinder reveal party was awful. I've talked about my issues with the way people talk about the genders of fetuses before, like to know the sex is to know the personality and whole life trajectory of this person who doesn't even exist yet, so I won't babble about it again. But people like Cathy take the whole concept to such a weird place: gender is something you owe to other people, your family deserves and expects your gender. It's so creepy.

I had many reasons why I didn’t find out the gender of my kids until birth. This was one of them. I would have flipped my shit if someone in my family showed their disappointment because my fetus had the wrong genitals. I understand gender disappointment when it comes to the parents. But I get pissy when others express it. Keep your disappointment to yourself! It’s not your kid so pretend you are happy about the sex of the kid and go home and cry you eyes out if you must. 

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AtlanticTug
2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I had many reasons why I didn’t find out the gender of my kids until birth. This was one of them. I would have flipped my shit if someone in my family showed their disappointment because my fetus had the wrong genitals. I understand gender disappointment when it comes to the parents. But I get pissy when others express it. Keep your disappointment to yourself! It’s not your kid so pretend you are happy about the sex of the kid and go home and cry you eyes out if you must. 

We always knew the sex but we purposely didn't tell anyone the babies' names until they were born. Somebody once told me that people are much more likely to have a negative or inappropriate reaction to a name if you tell them when you're pregnant but once the baby is born and you're like "here's Spurgeon!" most will keep it to themselves.

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Glasgowghirl

My brother always said he wanted boys since he never got the brother he wanted, he got two little sisters. He now has two daughters and they have decided for now that they are done. They live in an expensive part of England and are living rent free above the pub and carvery he manages, saving for a wedding and mortgage, if a third child does happen he says he wouldn't care if it was boy or girl.

I think being disappointed is natural but to say it about other people's children, even if it is your future grandchild is not on.

 

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JermajestyDuggar
9 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

We always knew the sex but we purposely didn't tell anyone the babies' names until they were born. Somebody once told me that people are much more likely to have a negative or inappropriate reaction to a name if you tell them when you're pregnant but once the baby is born and you're like "here's Spurgeon!" most will keep it to themselves.

That’s probably true. But I’m a straight up B when pregnant. No one messed with my surly ass. So we told people our name choices and let people know they were firm. Our minds would NOT be changed. So if they said anything nasty about the name, they might regret it. Therefore people kept their negative opinions to themselves. 

11 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

My brother always said he wanted boys since he never got the brother he wanted, he got two little sisters. He now has two daughters and they have decided for now that they are done. They live in an expensive part of England and are living rent free above the pub and carvery he manages, saving for a wedding and mortgage, if a third child does happen he says he wouldn't care if it was boy or girl.

I think being disappointed is natural but to say it about other people's children, even if it is your future grandchild is not on.

 

I think my husband loves having sons since he never got a brother, just sisters. He used to make his sister pretend to be a boy so he could have a brother. Poor girl...

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twoandthrough
5 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

We always knew the sex but we purposely didn't tell anyone the babies' names until they were born. Somebody once told me that people are much more likely to have a negative or inappropriate reaction to a name if you tell them when you're pregnant but once the baby is born and you're like "here's Spurgeon!" most will keep it to themselves.

We did the same... everyone knew we were having a girl each time, but we didn't reveal the name either time. People were SO mad the first time and just expected it the second time. 

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VineHeart137

I have two girls. We've had a few "when are you going for the boy?" comments but thankfully nobody has pressed it when we tell them that we're 99% sure we are done having kids. One family member has said that if we had to have two of the same gender she's glad we had girls and not boys, solely because she thinks shopping for girls is more fun. Sure, lady.

I will say, if we had another I would want a boy solely because we're fresh out of girl name ideas. 😂 We had a hard time figuring out our second daughter's name. To the point that I was breastfeeding her in the hospital with one arm and scrolling through a list of girl names with the other hand trying to find one my husband and I both agreed on (thankfully I stumbled upon her name, said it out loud, and we both had this "Ah ha! That's the one!" moment, and it fits her perfectly). We already have a boy name picked out so it would make life easy!

If I ever get a grandchild I will definitely keep my trap shut about both the sex and the name!

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Bethella
22 hours ago, PumaLover said:

I'm pretty sure they made some arrangement and bought it from Grandma Duggar. Maybe a year or two ago? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Correct. Michelle's parents bought the house in 1990. In 2007 Michelle's father Garrett sold the house to Grandma Duggar. Grandma Duggar used the house as a rental, we know that both Josh and Anna and Jessa and Ben lived there with an unrelated family living there in between them. In June 2017 Jessa and Ben purchased the house from Grandma Duggar as part of a family-wide shifting of real estate. 

 

 

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