Josiah and Lauren 12: Usual Duggar Social Media and Drift

[Sky with diamonds]

13 hours ago, cascarones said:

I'd love the recipe, FeedJinger?

As a kid, a popular mean girl stomped on my fingers to make me fall off the monkey dome. I broke my arm, but weirdly was too embarrassed to tell any adult, because her mom was the school nurse/ front office lady. My dad noticed on the weekend, but by then they had to break my arm again to get it set correctly. Same arm I just got stitches in on Thanksgiving with no numbing agent, sitting on the same bunk bed I told my dad about my arm. I'm 30, so those mattresses really, really should be thrown out.

Here is pretty much the family recipe I use, except when I make it for myself I don't add the meat. 

 

[Iamtheway]

Sounds yummy but ”simmer gently for 3 hours” does not sound like it fits in to our daily routine of ”What are we eating today?” ”I have no idea!” ”Didn’t we just eat yesterday?” ”Is it 5 already?” ”I think we have to go to the shops.” 

[BernRul]

On the female vs male doctor debate, I've always preferred women especially when it's a female issue ( like an obgyn). The medical establishment in general is very male skewed and has historically downplayed and misdiagnosed women's issues. IMO one way to change that is to have more female professionals. 

But the real reason I want a female gyn is that I feel more comfortable with them. They know what a female body feels like, and tbh, I'm less embarrassed. 

A while back, I read a few comments on FJ mocking the Duggar girls and Anna if they were perceived to prefer women doctors. I never understood that. Who cares if they are uncomfortable with male doctors examining their vaginas? I am, and I'm not fundie! Women have a ton of reasons for wanting a female obgyn (one of which could be past sexual assault ) so I never got the ridicule. Who cares what someone's preference is?

Now, would I refuse to see a male Dr if it was an emergency ? Of course not! But I just never  got the judgement towards these girls(or anyone else) for maybe possibly having a preference. 

 

[Rachel333]

Women also are statistically better physicians (the study did not follow surgeons). Of course that doesn't mean that every female physician is an excellent doctor and no male physician is, but overall female physicians have better outcomes.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/12/19/women-really-are-better-doctors-study-suggests/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.644585632d5c

https://blogs.sph.harvard.edu/ashish-jha/2016/12/19/do-women-make-better-doctors-than-men/

Quote

The first question everyone will ask is whether the size of the effect matters. I am going to reiterate what I said above – the effect size is modest, but important. If we take a public health perspective, we see why it’s important: Given our results, if male physicians had the same outcomes as female physicians, we’d have 32,000 fewer deaths in the Medicare population. That’s about how many people die in motor vehicle accidents every year. Second, imagine a new treatment that lowered 30-day mortality by about half a percentage point for hospitalized patients. Would that treatment get FDA approval for effectiveness? Yup. Would it quickly become widely adopted in the hospital wards as an important treatment we should be giving our patients?  Absolutely. So while the effect size is not huge, it’s certainly not trivial.

Quote

Another important point must be addressed. There is pretty strong evidence of a substantial gender pay gap and a gender promotion gap within medicine. Several recent studies have found that women physicians are paid less than male physicians – about 10% less after accounting for all potential confounders – and are less likely to promoted within academic medical centers. Throw in our study about better outcomes, and those differences in salary and promotion become particularly unconscionable.

 

[CarrotCake]

Here we have more female GP's than males since last year. One third of the medical specialists are female and expectation will be that females will also dominate there in 2025.

[Daisy0322]

I prefer a women for my OBGYN other than that I don't care much. I've typically had better experiences with women though. My OB is damn saintly though, when I had prenatal and post partum depression she was amazing!  

[SweetJuly]

I don't care if a doctor is male or female. I do care if they listen, take me and my concerns into account, and are competent.

Our GP and my OBGYN are male. Supremely happy with the two of them.

Our dentist is female. She's brilliant.

Our pediatrician is female. I cannot stand her. She seems competent enough, but does not listen, never remembers anything about our child or previous appointments, and is always "sooo busy" that she hardly pays attention to us before rushing us out of the practice. Due to her behaviour, I don't really trust her and take everything she says with a grain of salt. We're trying to change, but none of the doctors we called so far are taking new patients

[SassyPants]

On 11/27/2018 at 12:59 AM, Flossie said:

One day I was sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee with a friend when my oldest daughter came in from school and I screamed.  Why?  Because my daughter had two black eyes, one of which was swollen shut, and a huge bump on her nose.  She also had dried blood all over her shirt.  Thank God my friend was there so she could watch my other child and I could take my daughter to the doctor.  

It turned out that my daughter had fallen off a piece of playground equipment during the first morning recess and landed on pavement, breaking her nose.  My child went through the whole day with a broken nose, covered in blood, and no one thought I should know about it.  

The next day I went to the principal and asked him why I hadn't been called.  The fact that he knew what I was there for before I even explained it to him told me that he knew about it and was in damage control mode.  He tried to tell me they'd called and I wasn't home.  I most certainly was home all day, but if I wasn't, why didn't they call my husband?  He had no idea.  He said that injuries on the playground were handled by whatever teacher was on duty at the time and apparently that teacher didn't feel that a broken nose needed to be reported to me.  

I was livid, and to this day I get pissed all over again just thinking about it.  But my husband wasn't on board with making more of a fuss or asking the school to pay for damages because he worked for the school district and was worried that he'd lose his job if we continued 'making a fuss'.  I'm still mad at myself that I allowed myself to be talked out of it.

When I was a Freshman in HS our school had a day off, but my younger brothers’ school did not. My youngest brother who was in Kindergarten at the time got hit in the face and head by a spring  loaded metal gate, and the school called our home. Since I was the only person at home, they asked me to come pick him up. I rode my bike the 2 miles and took him home on the handlebars, bloody face and huge egg on his head. Who knows where my gadfly mother was( this was early 70s). My dad was so PO’d at the school.

[Casserole]

11 hours ago, BernRul said:

A while back, I read a few comments on FJ mocking the Duggar girls and Anna if they were perceived to prefer women doctors. I never understood that. Who cares if they are uncomfortable with male doctors examining their vaginas? I am, and I'm not fundie! Women have a ton of reasons for wanting a female obgyn (one of which could be past sexual assault ) so I never got the ridicule. Who cares what someone's preference is?

Now, would I refuse to see a male Dr if it was an emergency ? Of course not! But I just never  got the judgement towards these girls(or anyone else) for maybe possibly having a preference. 

 

I'd say the Duggars (and ZsuZsu and JRod and most fundies) are mocked because they are so set in their gender roles that they would never even fathom their daughters becoming doctors. Woman should be home and barefoot and tending to the babies while birthing the next one and praying to Jesus and that's it. She should be joyful and meek and keep to herself. So in order to see a female doctor, a woman would have had to go against all your stupid rules to become a doctor. She took an oath meaning she would have to help people of religions and races and sexual preferences and backgrounds other than her own. She might even have to touch a man in her job too, that hussy. 

It's just the irony. 

[BernRul]

5 minutes ago, Casserole said:

I'd say the Duggars (and ZsuZsu and JRod and most fundies) are mocked because they are so set in their gender roles that they would never even fathom their daughters becoming doctors. Woman should be home and barefoot and tending to the babies while birthing the next one and praying to Jesus and that's it. She should be joyful and meek and keep to herself. So in order to see a female doctor, a woman would have had to go against all your stupid rules to become a doctor. She took an oath meaning she would have to help people of religions and races and sexual preferences and backgrounds other than her own. She might even have to touch a man in her job too, that hussy. 

It's just the irony. 

I get that it's hypocrisy, but that wasn't the only reason people were doing it. They were talking about "modesty" and "defrauding" and that the Duggar girls probably never saw a gyno because the gyno might be a man and god forbid a man sees their vaginas. That's the part I have a problem with--- because it's no one's business who they feel comfortable examining their own bodies. And in light of what we eventually learned about the Duggar girls' past, it's an especially messed up thing to mock them over.

[VelociRapture]

My PCP is male and served in the Marines back in the 90s. Marines can be the most stubborn people on Earth and are rarely shy to make that known*. My Doctor is far from stubborn though and he has absolutely no issues referring people to specialists when it’s warranted because he understands that other Doctors may know more about certain things than he does. It was thanks to him that I was tested for Hypothyroidism so carefully for several years and that I was referred to a great Endocrinologist this year to figure out if we should start treatment or not. I spent almost half my life likely experiencing symptoms without really knowing it because my TSH was never really elevated (the highest level we found was still less than 6.) I now have enough energy to care for my family the way I mostly want to and I can now head into trying for a second child knowing we’ve done everything possible to have a better outcome next time.

My Endocrinologist is a woman, as are all the doctors at my OBGYN group. My PCP gave me theEbdocrinologist referral because she’s very good and has great bedside manner, but I purposely selected the OBGYN practice I did because I wanted a female Doctor and the practice is extremely good at what they do. I’m sure there are great male OBGYNs practicing, but I just don’t feel comfortable seeing a male Doctor for that stuff. I did see a male OBGYN Specialist this spring though. My normal OBGYN recommended it as part of our “Let’s Get You to Finally Carry to Term” plan. He was very good and it was just a normal consultation, so I felt pretty comfortable.

We knew we were having a daughter while I was pregnant. We opted to use the same Pediatric group I went to as a kid - they now have five separate branches in multiple towns, so lots of Doctors to choose from. We requested a female Doctor and went with the one recommended. She has been fantastic over the last two years, but if our daughter (or hopeful future child) eventually wants to switch to a different Doctor of any sex or gender I wouldn’t have an issue with that. I want her to be as comfortable as possible with the person caring for her. 

*My dad is a Marine. I have every right to lovingly call them out on this! 

[cascarones]

I care about listening and procedural technique. I grew up on tricare and different bases, so doctors rotated out and there was no real say. My dad is doctor, but not a patient facing clinician, so we were seen a ton by residents and fellows in training. This was extremely important to my father, that new doctors have opportunities to practice their bedside manner and specialities without their age or credentials questioned. 

In the civilian world, given that I don't care about gender and almost everyone I know does prefer female OBGYNs I'm almost always placed with a male doctor. The two female OBGYN's I've seen the care were markedly different.  I'd never had a male doctor give me a little "pep" talk about not needing to lie about my sexual history or mess up a pap smear and have to redo it, but my visit to PP in my early 20s was a gross enough experience I didn't get another pap smear for 6 years. Don't do that, just find another doctor and don't be irresponsible, like myself, based on the inability to take hormonal birth control, not want an IUD and general 20s infallibility brain. Nor fall into the mindset if nothing bad has happened and is actually happening that you're already a cooked goose, so it wouldn't matter anyway. I'm lucky that I was healthy there, but really could have prevented being hospitalized if I knew the normal threshold of when to go to the doctor over just call a doctor I know. 

TL;DR Do your yearly appointments even when nothing is outwardly wrong and if you don't like your doctor, find another and still do those appointments.  

[kmachete14]

LOL at the Duggar girls who like to see female doctors or any other fundie who goes to see them. 

THEY can't become doctors and it is a SIN to work outside the home and leave your children, but of course it's okay for you to go see a female doctor. SMH. 

I think Lori Alexander saw a female doctor but then also went on a tirade against her in a post. She may also have a male OBGYN for this reason. (Any Lori experts out there who remember?) 

[Four is Enough]

What if the male OB/GYN was of the same religious persuasion as Lori? Wouldn't her girly parts defraud HIM?

[libgirl2]

I have always had a male OB/GYN. I actually would feel weird going to a woman doctor. Not sure why but maybe like she would "judge" me. Who knows? 

[LittleOwl]

I'd just like a Gynae who is able to fix me. I don't care about gender! 

[justoneoftwo]

I'm a huge fan of my male ob. I love that I'm clearly his patient once the baby is born. The women in his practice seemed more focused on the baby, which is ok, but he had his pediatric team for that, and I needed care.  

This is based on an individual personality though. I hated my first mail OB. And have had plenty of good email gyns 

[LillyP]

These are really interesting thoughts to read. 

I personally have always had a much better experience with male OB's. The female OB's I've seen have very much had a "suck it up buttercup" attitude where the men seemed to be more understanding and willing to listen. In fact the worst experience I had with any medical professional to do, was a female OB during and after an Ectopic Pregnancy. 

When I had my baby I did see a midwife (two actually) that I LOVED and were part of a practice with a male OB who oversaw things. Even though I mostly saw the midwives I did see the OB from time to time. He was also the one who ended up delivering me when I needed a c-section. They were all fantastic.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I like doctors who take my insurance...

Now back to 'Siah and whatshername

I do NOT like the new 'Siah--I said this elsewhere, but maybe you all can help me with this one! There used to be "life" in his eyes. Now there is a mean, hard look. That's a bit scary. I know he may just be pissed off at still having to have his life filmed. And I was among those who were a bit surprised that he chose to get married, especially after the first courtship seemed like it was a casting move rather than real even if they did know each other. He never seemed that eager to court a girl on the old show. Maybe experiences were given/imposed to change that? That could be part of the problem in his "look."

I also think Lauren is the WORST at the horrible Gothard-mandated "attentive listening" pose! UGH.

Any thoughts?

[SassyPantswithASideofClass]

I had a wonderful female OB-GYN who actually was the one that delivered my baby. During my initial labor (original ob-gyn wasn't scheduled to help with deliverers  till the next day) I had a wonderful male OB-GYN who made me feel like a person, and set my mind at ease. He answered all my questions patiently, and yes even held my hand and encouraged me when I was going through a painful set on contractions. (Parents had stepped out of the room to grab some ice for me and to grab something I had left at home)

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

@IReallyAmHopewell I agree there is something really off about Si & Lauren, neither of them look happy. I don't know what is going on there but I don't think this was an arrangement of joy & love.

[Meggo]

I don't think I've ever been to a school that had a nurse... One school had a room off the office FOR that - with a cot and some bandaids - but I don't remember there being a nurse there. 

Our school calls for a LOT of scrapes. Anytime they apply ice or a bandaid - or want to (kid hates bandaids) - they call. Which I appreciate. Most of the time they'll tell me he'll have a bump and he doesn't by the time he gets home. 
I like that daycare used to do "oops reports" and it would say he bumped another friend etc and then they had a line about treatment and they'd say "We told them to slow down. Adminstered hugs and a popsicle."

And the public school in town has stickers printed up that say "Ask me about my head bump" or something because they had a kid have a BAD accident and no one checked him for a concussion and it ended up being serious. So - now ANY kid gets a head bump - they get that sticker so teachers know to look out for them throughout the day. 
 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

49 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

@IReallyAmHopewell I agree there is something really off about Si & Lauren, neither of them look happy. I don't know what is going on there but I don't think this was an arrangement of joy & love.

Seems like a "mandated" relationship.  Or that they are the scripted couple for fertility problems. Who knows what.

[libgirl2]

53 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

@IReallyAmHopewell I agree there is something really off about Si & Lauren, neither of them look happy. I don't know what is going on there but I don't think this was an arrangement of joy & love.

She also strikes me as not a very warm person and rather shallow. Maybe I'm wrong but its the vibe I get from her. 

And if they married in haste, now they can repent at leisure as the saying goes. 

[Knight of Ni]

That’s a great idea about the sticker. You can’t mess around with head injuries. I remember an incident in high school where two girls collided and bumped heads during a soccer game. One girl left the game in an ambulance for a possible concussion. The other girl seemed fine and kept playing and went to school the next day. In of the morning periods she all of a sudden put her head down on the desk and said she was dizzy and tired. Luckily the teacher happened to be a nurse as well and knew exactly what was happening. She left the class for medical treatment but I still don’t understand how no adult suggested that she be checked immediately. Can any health professionals weigh in?