Seewalds 35: Silence is Golden

[Nikedagain?]

7 hours ago, justodd said:

I ended up with the worst hair experience I’ve had since my sister talked me into perming my already curly hair back in 1991 and I ended up looking exactly like Pat from Saturday Night Live.

I feel like I need to apologize to you, because I laughed out loud at this.

[treehugger]

I have hair like Jessa. Thick, shiny, voluminous, wavy, and you guys, so bloody heavy! I cut it short (pixie short) years ago, and haven't had any desire to grow it out since. It is hot, and the headaches I used to get from carrying around that much hair were no picnic. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

I'm glad we don't need pregnancy tests or, you, know, actual confirmation from the parent-to-be that they are expecting.  Just look at their arms!

[theotherelise]

1 hour ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

I'm glad we don't need pregnancy tests or, you, know, actual confirmation from the parent-to-be that they are expecting.  Just look at their arms!

I stressed how weird it was when I first brought it up a couple threads ago and made fun of myself about it. Jessa is the only one I've ever made pregnancy speculations about because I weirdly noticed a difference in how her arms look. Not sure how that's any stranger than  speculation trains running constantly in the Duggar threads! 

I will also say I've got a sixth sense about pregnancies IRL at the moment. It's one of my infertility side effects that I can just always tell about a month before someone announces. Maybe that will be true for my Jessa speculation, or maybe she's just got a new arm routine at the gym.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

5 hours ago, Meggo said:

Plus - she IS like a therapist. We talk about our marriages, our kids, the struggles our littles are having etc. 

I invited mine to my wedding and reception. I think a few of my husband's guests gave her blue-and-pink hair streaks, and her multiple ear piercings some serious side-eye!

[VooDooChild]

I appreciate everyone sharing their hairdresser horror stories.  These are things I aspire not to do.  

As for the Jessa Blessa pregnancy speculation train....It's pretty much inevitable, so I don't bother.  Besides pics can do funny things to how you look. 

[Four is Enough]

13 hours ago, theotherelise said:

I will also say I've got a sixth sense about pregnancies IRL at the moment. It's one of my infertility side effects that I can just always tell about a month before someone announces. 

I'm the same way. When I saw that photo, I    saw both the face and the arms and thought, "Yup. She got her wish and is pregnant again."

[justodd]

20 hours ago, Nikedagain? said:

I feel like I need to apologize to you, because I laughed out loud at this.

Apology accepted. It’s more than I ever got from any of the people who shouted “all the people say ‘what’s that?’ It’s Pat!” as I went from class to class, or informed substitutes it was my name when I was doing my best to be invisible. The fact that our school’s dress code meant that I pretty much lived in slacks and long sleeved collared shirts didn’t help matters. My hair grew out and I lost my awkward puberty weight by the time sophomore year started, but the reputation as the unattractive school weirdo stuck like glue until graduation rolled around. It was quite the change once that school was behind me and people I’d been sitting next to for years were suddenly approaching me like a total stranger. It was oddly gratifying to have someone hit on me after we’d graduated, because I got to see them squirm when I reminded them that we not only already knew each other, but they’d been a total nightmare to me for years. 

[libgirl2]

21 hours ago, Nikedagain? said:

I feel like I need to apologize to you, because I laughed out loud at this.

So did I. 

On 9/24/2018 at 3:43 PM, TuringMachine said:

I used to wish I had curly hair. Then I watched my curly haired friend get ready in the morning.  Now I'm content with having hair that looks presentable with minimal effort. 

I had naturally curly hair until my 20s. Then it lost its curl for a few years..... in my  30s my hair got its curl back. I takes me about 2-3 minutes to dry my hair. I have a lot of it but the strands are thin. I used to straighten it and that took way too long. 

During my hair's straight time, I got a perm. I told the woman I wanted loose curls. She used the smallest rollers all.over.my.head.  I came out looking like a brillo pad. I cried, I complained, the salon gave me free conditioning treatments..... it was awful. I finally went to a very good salon and the woman there recommended a spray in product. Saved my life and my hair (well she also gave me a cut I could work with the perm). 

[elf1590]

On 9/22/2018 at 3:56 PM, BunnyBee said:

And out of all the Bates girls, Tori is the only one pregnant. Its like a weird calm before a baby storm.  

Omg, that's true.....a storm is brewing....
Could you imagine if we made it until he was born and there were still no pregnancy announcements for either family?!

[AtlanticTug]

55 minutes ago, elf1590 said:

Omg, that's true.....a storm is brewing....
Could you imagine if we made it until he was born and there were still no pregnancy announcements for either family?!

I'm just wondering whether Kendra will be pregnant before her Mom gives birth! Hey it's possible...

[Knight of Ni]

When is she due?

[Carm_88]

18 minutes ago, Knight of Ni said:

When is she due?

Tori is due in November. Around American Thanksgiving? I think.

[elf1590]

9 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Tori is due in November. Around American Thanksgiving? I think. 

Yep! Late November

[EmmieJ]

On 9/24/2018 at 11:48 AM, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I think part of the reason I've only ever had one hair stylist is because I'm afraid that I would end up with a bad experience, like some of y'all's. My mom cut my hair until I was about 13, and my current stylist has cut it ever since. She's honest about what will work for my fine, slightly wavy hair, and she knows me well enough to recommend styles that are lower maintenance. Most of the time, I just have to answer 1 or 2 questions and she knows what I want.

She also cuts my kids' hair, and nudges me to let them have an increasing say in their "look" as they get older. My family (at least 4 or 5 of us get haircuts, etc. from her) has followed her to 4 different hair salons so far, and her prices have stayed reasonable.

At this point, she's pretty much like a cousin to our family. I really hope she doesn't move or quit any time soon!

The longest relationship I've had with a man is with my mechanic (approx. 25 years), and the 2nd longest is with my hairdresser (approx. 23 years).  I have my share of bad cuts and even worse perms, but I was referred to my current hair dresser by a roommate and he's been absolutely wonderful.  I dread the day he decides to retire!   I haven't had a perm in over 15 years but I was recently thinking maybe I'd try for one that gave me that soft curl look.  That seems to be popular now, but I have a feeling that once the perm was done, it would take a lot of work each day for me to get my hair to look good, so I'll probably just stick with my current basically straight hair with a slight bounce/bend to it.

[Grace]

On 9/23/2018 at 6:34 PM, VooDooChild said:

If she wants to cut hair, why can't she go to school to cut hair so she can do it properly and make it even and balanced?  Or hit up Josie Bates if she's too precious to pay for a haircut.  

I don't consider it precious to avoid paying $25+ tip to have a toddler's hair cut. Even if they don't pitch a screaming fit, they're likely to squirm and avoid the scissors and clippers making it difficult to get a 'perfect' cut anyway. I did all the cutting until mine was almost 4. I do trims in between and only take him in if he wants a different style. I know a lot of families who do their own hair cuts because it gets freaking expensive even in regular sized families with 3-4 kids. I've never been brave enough to cut my own hair or my husband's but kids are kids. I wasn't worried about Pre-K hair judgement ?

[Pecansforeveryone]

Right that was my original point was about the expense for a one year old who is going to run around messing his hair up anyway. Now if Henry is 10, and Jessa is giving him a Moe Howard haircut then I will snark on her big time.

[Baxter]

I think that if you want to cut your kid's hair and you are decent at it then great. I tried giving my son's hair a trim a couple of times when he was around one. It did not go well and I felt really upset afterwards at what I had done. I started taking him to my hairdresser and she does a great job. He also stays still for her in a way that he just wouldn't for me. She's told me that her kids don't hold still for her and when they were littler she would sometimes get her friend who was also a hairdresser to cut their hair. Kids usually save their worst behavior for their parents .

[xlurker]

I am a hairdresser that specialized in children for many many years--I couldn't cut my own kids' hair--had to have one of the other girls do it.  

2 hours ago, Baxter said:

Kids usually save their worst behavior for their parents 

 

[cascarones]

This thread reminds of the time my brother slipped while doing his beard and shaved up into his hair above the side burn, drove 2 hours home from college to ask my Mom if she could dye it and how to fix it. She couldn't and just went the nuclear option and shaved it all off. He'd been growing it out for the first time, had some shaggy curls and then nothing. Not even the crew cut he'd sported most of his childhood from base haircuts/mom's haircuts.

He looked ridiculous and it was glorious. He did the whole drink a pack of jello each night thing.

He also has a huge hat collection as a result, but he did get it grown back out and we had a fun party when we both got the donation chop!

[nolongerIFBx]

On 9/20/2018 at 2:27 PM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I'm going to tell you what a friend (who was sticking up for me) said to another woman who made a remark like this about a child she didn't know. "FFS He's not retarded he's TALL" (forgive the R word, this was 18 years ago and she said it not me). Izzy is ONLY 6 months older than Spurgeon, but he is very tall for his age and a lot of people think tall means older, and they forget how young someone is. Izzy is a later talker with much stricter parents (I'm not defending dumb and dumber by ANY MEANS I'm defending Izzy) it may just be taking him longer to reach the same milestones that his smaller younger cousin is hitting with ease.  My 2 kids were like this DS was slow at everything. Was hell he still is, he's a very methodical person he takes his time and does things in his own way at his own pace. He's not a slow learner just different, he breezed through all of his HS AP classes with out a problem he just seems a little weird in how he does stuff, kind of like his mom. 

This is a thing with tall kids. I wouldn't know from experience being 4' 11" but I have a niece who has always been very tall. She was spending the day with my grandma and my aunt complained later that she wasn't helping around the house and cleaning. My mom said, "She's a nine year old little girl. It doesn't count that she is tall enough to do those things, she's still just nine."

[Rachel333]

My mom was scolded by a stranger once for pushing my brother in a stroller. The woman said my brother was way too old to be in a stroller and should be walking. He was 18 months old.

I was once whistled at by a lifeguard for being too old to play on some floating toys that were for ages 12 and under. I told him I was 9 years old and he dropped it but I was devastated because I was a very rule-abiding child (I read all the rules before I entered the pool and thus knew I was well under the age limit for the toys) and had never been whistled at by a lifeguard before!

Tall kids are definitely held to a different standard of behavior in public because they appear older. I think there can be both negative and positive aspects of that and it would be interesting to know the long-term effects.

[Alisamer]

19 hours ago, EmmieJ said:

 I haven't had a perm in over 15 years but I was recently thinking maybe I'd try for one that gave me that soft curl look.  That seems to be popular now, but I have a feeling that once the perm was done, it would take a lot of work each day for me to get my hair to look good, so I'll probably just stick with my current basically straight hair with a slight bounce/bend to it.

Can perms do that? I really would love to wear the long soft curls/waves look. I think I even have decent hair for it, very thick and with a very slight natural wave. But somehow it doesn't matter what product or gizmo I buy, or what youtube tutorial I follow, I always end up looking like one of those infomercial people who are too dumb to do anything. I mean, I generally just brush my hair out and let it be, but it would be nice to actually style it for a change sometimes. Right now it's Brady-flat on top, and vaguely frizzed with a slight wave at the bottom. I do need a trim, but really there should be something I can do with this mess.

It doesn't help that my mom believes the parents have total say over kids hair until they're in at least junior high, so my sisters and I had bowl cuts our entire childhoods. And then after that, we were allowed to grow our hair out, but it was the late 80's, so it was full on perms and feathered bangs a-la-JillRod. I want to do "beach waves" and "soft curls" and stuff like that!

[melon]

33 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

My mom was scolded by a stranger once for pushing my brother in a stroller. The woman said my brother was way too old to be in a stroller and should be walking. He was 18 months old.

I was once whistled at by a lifeguard for being too old to play on some floating toys that were for ages 12 and under. I told him I was 9 years old and he dropped it but I was devastated because I was a very rule-abiding child (I read all the rules before I entered the pool and thus knew I was well under the age limit for the toys) and had never been whistled at by a lifeguard before!

Tall kids are definitely held to a different standard of behavior in public because they appear older. I think there can be both negative and positive aspects of that and it would be interesting to know the long-term effects.

Yes!Absolutely.

My youngest son,was a big baby,and always big for his age,so were my two other sons.

My youngest son was born with an hemangioma,and a blood vessel tumor,in his left leg.He sat up at 6 months,but he did not stand,alone until he was almost a year old,and did not walk until he was 18 months.He started having partial excisions(surgery)when he was a year old.

People said he wasn't walking..because I carried him around.I was criticized because he wasn't potty trained until he was three..etc etc.

 

[justodd]

1 hour ago, Rachel333 said:

Tall kids are definitely held to a different standard of behavior in public because they appear older. I think there can be both negative and positive aspects of that and it would be interesting to know the long-term effects.

I’m surprised that I’ve never really thought about this before, having lived through the opposite scenario my whole life. I’ve always had kind of a baby face, so people have always taken me for considerably younger, but I think my (lack of) height probably contributes to the situation. I mostly like it these days (being mistaken for mid twenties while in my early forties is kind of nice), but it does infuriate me how often it seems people don’t take me seriously. I’m a very plain spoken person who says what I mean and mean what I say, and it drives me up the wall every time someone insisists I *must* have meant something else because (whatever their craptastic reasoning may be).