Seewalds 35: Silence is Golden

[AtlanticTug]

58 minutes ago, justodd said:

Curly hair should almost always be cut dry.

**everyone who says you should never brush hair when it’s wet can bite me. Curls like mine do not take kindly to any kind of comb or brush while dry and it took years of bleeding scalps and broken hairbrushes before I figured this out on my own 

Yes to all of this. A really good hairdresser will blow dry curly hair straight, then cut it. 

I have extremely curly hair, and come from a family of curly haired women. I would NEVER use a hairbrush on dry hair, it would result in massive frizz. I can't believe anybody with really curly hair would brush it?

[Knight of Ni]

14 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

 I would NEVER use a hairbrush on dry hair, it would result in massive frizz. I can't believe anybody with really curly hair would brush it?

Is it sad that it took me until my late twenties to figure this out. I remember being so frustrated and self conscious about my hair and why is it so damn frizzy and ugly. I resorted to straightening it everyday for a long time and when I got sick of that I just put it up in a frizzy ponytail. Now I’m slowly learning how to treat curly hair and how to make it look nice. I eventually went to a hairdresser with my natural hair and told the woman “I want it this length please cut layers that will look nice” I finally have something that looks halfway decent but still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. 

[KelseyAnn]

Ugh = this thread is giving me baby fever so badly!!

[SapphireSlytherin]

1 hour ago, justodd said:

A few years ago I decided to break my years long streak of cutting my own hair and have someone else cut and color it before a conference I had to attend. The person I ended up with (who was supposedly “one of their best,”) literally talked over me and more or less told me I was stupid every time I tried pointing out that he was doing something I’d requested in advance not be done. I ended up jumping out of the chair and running out with my hair still shopping wet* because he refused to use products suited to my hair and wanted to blow dry it after with no diffuser and probably with another added product that would have further destroyed my hair beyond how much he’d already tortured it.

I went to a "Deva Curl" specialist, on the recommendation of a friend. It was horrible. I have no idea what she did to my hair, but it was so... odd, afterward. I had literal spikes of hair around my face. No matter how much Deva products I used, it just wouldn't curl the way it should have. So, I called her back and she said to come in and she'd fix it.

After about 20 minutes of her cutting here-and-there, I told her to stop, got up, and walked out.

I ended up going back to my "regular" hair girl. She was so appalled at the condition of my hair, and did the only thing she could to salvage it:  a pixie cut. I hate short hair on me (reference my previous posts about my mother keeping my hair boy-short forever), but I had zero choice. The hair the Deva girl had left me with looked like the jagged teeth of a carpenter's profile gauge - like this:  

[WhoompThereItIs]

35 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

 A really good hairdresser will blow dry curly hair straight, then cut it. 

From my experience, a really good hairdresser will cut curly hair dry, in its natural (e.g. curly) state. Then again I'm black with kinky hair, so it might be different for people with looser curls.

[AtlanticTug]

Just now, WhoompThereItIs said:

From my experience, a really good hairdresser will cut curly hair dry, in it's natural, curly state. Then again I'm black with kinky hair, so it might be different for people with looser curls.

Yes, with looser curls it's different because the length varies day to day. The other thing is that if they're good they'll ask you how you wear your hair most of the time and cut it accordingly. When I was younger I used to blow dry my hair straight 90% of the time so I only really cared what it looked like straight. Now I leave it curly 90% of the time so that changes the cut a bit.

[SapphireSlytherin]

7 minutes ago, WhoompThereItIs said:

From my experience, a really good hairdresser will cut curly hair dry, in its natural (e.g. curly) state. Then again I'm black with kinky hair, so it might be different for people with looser curls.

I have looser curls, and my hair is always ALWAYS cut dry. Wet-cutting my hair is a recipe for disaster.

[justodd]

34 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

Yes to all of this. A really good hairdresser will blow dry curly hair straight, then cut it. 

I have extremely curly hair, and come from a family of curly haired women. I would NEVER use a hairbrush on dry hair, it would result in massive frizz. I can't believe anybody with really curly hair would brush it?

No. No. One billion times NO. I would NEVER allow anyone to blow dry my hair straight before cutting it. That means the hair will look good and even as long as it’s straight and blow-dried, but it has zero to do with how it’ll look if it’s in its natural, curly state. My hair curls more to one side, so cutting it while straight and dried makes it look lopsided when I wear it any other way than straight and dried. The hairs nearest the base of my neck curl a lot more than the ones near my crown, so if they’re cut while dried and straightened, I end up with a big poofy mess there that’s constantly tangled underneath everything else and it all just becomes a giant rats’ nest. Curls need to be cut while they actually look like curls, in their natural shape, or you have no real way of knowing what they’ll look like after. 

 

I am am the only one in my (very large extended) family with very curly hair. Back in the late 70’s/80’s, my mom had never known anything but brushing hair to get rid of tangles.  She could never understand why my hair refused to behave, and she broke off many brush handles trying to make it work. It wasn’t until I was almost out of high school (mid 90’s) that I realized my hair needed to be dealt with wet, and required some sort of product if I wanted it to look presentable. I spent YEARS being picked on because of my messy, unruly hair, but once I finally got it figured out, I started raking in the compliments. After so many years of wishing for a sleek bob like my childhood best friend’s, I finally love my big, bouncy curls that almost always look great with minimal effort!

[VooDooChild]

15 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I went to a "Deva Curl" specialist, on the recommendation of a friend. It was horrible. I have no idea what she did to my hair, but it was so... odd, afterward. I had literal spikes of hair around my face. No matter how much Deva products I used, it just wouldn't curl the way it should have. So, I called her back and she said to come in and she'd fix it.

After about 20 minutes of her cutting here-and-there, I told her to stop, got up, and walked out.

I ended up going back to my "regular" hair girl. She was so appalled at the condition of my hair, and did the only thing she could to salvage it:  a pixie cut. I hate short hair on me (reference my previous posts about my mother keeping my hair boy-short forever), but I had zero choice. The hair the Deva girl had left me with looked like the jagged teeth of a carpenter's profile gauge - like this:  

 

What an awful experience!  It sounds like she attempted a "disconnected" cut, which, done properly, is supposed to balance out heavy spots and maintain balance  and even-ness in the curl pattern and shape of the overall haircut.  Of course that only works if you never wear your hair straight. I'm so sorry you had to cut your hair so short to fix it.   

[AtlanticTug]

6 minutes ago, justodd said:

 The hairs nearest the base of my neck curl a lot more than the ones near my crown, so if they’re cut while dried and straightened, I end up with a big poofy mess there that’s constantly tangled underneath everything else and it all just becomes a giant rats’ nest. Curls need to be cut while they actually look like curls, in their natural shape, or you have no real way of knowing what they’ll look like after. 

Depends on whether you wear it curly or straight.

How long is your hair? I like my curls better when short, but that's when this neck curl issue is a real problem and causes side pouff. Disappears entirely if I let it grow out past my shoulders though...

[caitiedid313]

No. No. One billion times NO. I would NEVER allow anyone to blow dry my hair straight before cutting it. That means the hair will look good and even as long as it’s straight and blow-dried, but it has zero to do with how it’ll look if it’s in its natural, curly state. My hair curls more to one side, so cutting it while straight and dried makes it look lopsided when I wear it any other way than straight and dried. The hairs nearest the base of my neck curl a lot more than the ones near my crown, so if they’re cut while dried and straightened, I end up with a big poofy mess there that’s constantly tangled underneath everything else and it all just becomes a giant rats’ nest. Curls need to be cut while they actually look like curls, in their natural shape, or you have no real way of knowing what they’ll look like after. 
 

So a Deva stylist will look at your hair as is. It’s recommended to come in with your hair in its naturally curly state. They then cut the hair so they can see each curl and everything. Then comes the shampoo. This type of dry cut doesn’t consist of washing and blowing out the hair to cut it. I had thought the same as you did before getting my first cut from a Deva stylist

[Carm_88]

I've had a rash of pushy hairdressers lately. Which makes me want to get my hair cut less, and I hate it anyway. My hair is wavy and I keep getting comments on that and how do I do it? Blow dry and straighten it, if not in a braid or braids, or in a ponytail. "You should leave it natural." That's a nice comment, but I don't want to, you told me that the last time that I came in and I didn't change my mind. So please stop assuming that I want tips on how to style my hair naturally, I do not.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

I think part of the reason I've only ever had one hair stylist is because I'm afraid that I would end up with a bad experience, like some of y'all's. My mom cut my hair until I was about 13, and my current stylist has cut it ever since. She's honest about what will work for my fine, slightly wavy hair, and she knows me well enough to recommend styles that are lower maintenance. Most of the time, I just have to answer 1 or 2 questions and she knows what I want.

She also cuts my kids' hair, and nudges me to let them have an increasing say in their "look" as they get older. My family (at least 4 or 5 of us get haircuts, etc. from her) has followed her to 4 different hair salons so far, and her prices have stayed reasonable.

At this point, she's pretty much like a cousin to our family. I really hope she doesn't move or quit any time soon!

[justodd]

50 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

Depends on whether you wear it curly or straight.

How long is your hair? I like my curls better when short, but that's when this neck curl issue is a real problem and causes side pouff. Disappears entirely if I let it grow out past my shoulders though...

I wear it long, precisely because the curl gets too aggressive if it’s cut too short. 

 

And if if I (or anyone else, really) go in with my hair loose and curly, it’s beyond ridiculous for someone to treat it as if it’ll be worn straight unless I tell them so. My hair is too damn thick and stubborn to straighten without a fight, and I just don’t see the point in spending over an hour destroying it with heat when it’s so much cuter and more flattering when left to air dry with just a little leave in conditioner.

[SapphireSlytherin]

1 hour ago, VooDooChild said:

 Of course that only works if you never wear your hair straight.

At the time, I never wore it straight! I looked like that jagged mess when it was CURLY. Seriously. It was a disaster. I may have cried. A lot.

[fluffernutter]

2 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I went to a "Deva Curl" specialist, on the recommendation of a friend. It was horrible. I have no idea what she did to my hair, but it was so... odd, afterward. I had literal spikes of hair around my face. No matter how much Deva products I used, it just wouldn't curl the way it should have. So, I called her back and she said to come in and she'd fix it.

After about 20 minutes of her cutting here-and-there, I told her to stop, got up, and walked out.

I ended up going back to my "regular" hair girl. She was so appalled at the condition of my hair, and did the only thing she could to salvage it:  a pixie cut. I hate short hair on me (reference my previous posts about my mother keeping my hair boy-short forever), but I had zero choice. The hair the Deva girl had left me with looked like the jagged teeth of a carpenter's profile gauge - like this:  

Wow I'm  glad you shared this, but sorry they messed your hair up so badly! I love Deva Curl products- ever since my hair has thinned it has gotten more and more kinky/ curly, to the point that normal products left me with a complete rat's nest of tangled mess. I had often thought of going to a deva curl stylist, but since it's so thin and sparse to begin with I never bothered. Now I definitely won't.

[ladyaudley]

Man, I wish I had curls. My hair is stick-straight and so fine even at waist length my bun was the size of a kiwi. 

 

Eta: just watched the Michelle birthday vid on the Dillard’s page and Jess does not look pregnant at all.  She does however look awkward as hell, forced smile and all get me out of here. 

[Cheetah]

not entirely OT but the woman who has been cutting my hair for about 18 years is retiring at the end of September :-(.  My hair is pretty uncomplicated, though... totally straight and not yet doing any color treatment. 

[Meggo]

1 hour ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I think part of the reason I've only ever had one hair stylist is because I'm afraid that I would end up with a bad experience, like some of y'all's. My mom cut my hair until I was about 13, and my current stylist has cut it ever since. She's honest about what will work for my fine, slightly wavy hair, and she knows me well enough to recommend styles that are lower maintenance. Most of the time, I just have to answer 1 or 2 questions and she knows what I want.

She also cuts my kids' hair, and nudges me to let them have an increasing say in their "look" as they get older. My family (at least 4 or 5 of us get haircuts, etc. from her) has followed her to 4 different hair salons so far, and her prices have stayed reasonable.

At this point, she's pretty much like a cousin to our family. I really hope she doesn't move or quit any time soon!

I will CRY if my stylist moves and I can't follow. Mine's the same way as yours. She says "What do we think of the color? And are you happy for length?" But she'll make sure I can pull it back - even into a stump of a tail - for working out. And she recently pointed out I have some curl to my hair - so is trying to get me to maximize that. (easier to scrunch and diffuse than it is to try and straighten). 

Plus - she IS like a therapist. We talk about our marriages, our kids, the struggles our littles are having etc. 

[theotherelise]

I'm the one who notices Jessa's arms as a pregnancy tell and my verdict is that she's preggers. 

[TuringMachine]

1 hour ago, ladyaudley said:

Man, I wish I had curls. My hair is stick-straight and so fine even at waist length my bun was the size of a kiwi. 

I used to wish I had curly hair. Then I watched my curly haired friend get ready in the morning.  Now I'm content with having hair that looks presentable with minimal effort. 

[justodd]

24 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

I used to wish I had curly hair. The I watched my curly haired friend get ready in the morning.  Now I'm content with having hair that looks presentable with minimal effort. 

Curls don’t have to take any more time to manage than straight hair. Mine is thick and about halfway down my back, but it only takes me more than three or four minutes if I decide to braid it or do something fancy. A quick towel dry, a little product, a quick swipe with the brush to make sure my part is straight and I do t have flyaways up front, and I am good to go. It might take a minute or two longer if I’m overdue to touch up my roots and I want to cover my grey, but even then it’s rarely more than five minutes. It’s all about knowing how to work with what you’ve got and not making things more difficult than they have to be.  

[cascarones]

My curls have always been cut dry, the lady who just retired would do a shorter strand to help them curl around it. Or something like that. I got sick, so I lost some hair and seven months after it's come back in normally enough I can move onto extensions from wigs (I didn't cut the length, it just got real thin). I'm super pumped since I'll be able to style it normally for work and not worry about slippage, but also nervous since I've never had them before! I'll take photos, especially if they end up looking like Duggar girl hair (which I used as an example along with photos of my before hair). 

It's insane how different haircuts/ styling/ dying cost from place to place when nails are so steady. I mean, it's cheaper to buy the plane ticket to go see family than mess with trying to get a decent urban haircut or treatment. 

[MargaretElliott]

I know how to give two haircuts, a straight all-the-way-across trim and a mohawk. Luckily, I have long hair that's straight all the way across and my SO has a mohawk. Last time I went to a real hair salon the woman was just bugging me to cut it to just below the shoulders. "It'll be so much lighter!" she said. "You'll feel so much better!" she said. Well, I love my waist-length hair. I actually find the daily hair care meditative. I have serious hair envy for Jessa, mine is almost as long, but not nearly as thick or voluminous. But nothing irritates me more than a pushy stylist. Buddy. It's my head.

At least Spurgeon and Henry always look adorable and presentable. When Jill first started cutting Dwreck's hair, some of the results were.... interesting.

[AmericanRose]

As a fellow curly head, I just want to say I had my first Ouidad cut last year. I was pleased my head no longer looked like a fluffy triangle!
Of course, when I posted about it on FB, a friend (who has straight hair) told me I should check out Deva curl... pass ?

I will admit I'm jealous of Jessa's hair. So thick and voluminous!