Lori Alexander 51: Looking for the Transformed Husband

[feministxtian]

6 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Of course you might already know all that and I could be totally wrong

He gets touchy because of the one accident that happened right in front of him and then me calling him and telling him about the other one. If it was up to him, he'd probably wrap me in bubble wrap, put me on a throne of some sort and wait on me hand and foot. Hey, don't knock it!!! 

But...then we deal with me feeling bad for inflicting pain on him with the insulin pump. There's a 1/2" stainless steel needle that gets driven into his behind for the cannula. It comes back out but damn, it sucks. Then there's stabbing him with another needle for the CGM and testing his blood sugar too. He claims it doesn't hurt. I think he's full of crap. 

So...we both do things to try to protect the other one from any unnecessary pain. 

Hubs also knows that attempting to control me would end VERY badly!!! Me? I don't bother with the manipulation shit like our favorite "Christian" blogger and "mentor"...I'm unable to be that sly and too fucking lazy to keep it up for long. 

[Briefly]

36 minutes ago, Curious said:

I don't travel alone for obvious reasons, but if you really want to see my husband get super twitchy, try to push my wheelchair    I thought he was going to actually tackle a friend some years ago when he was joking around and started randomly pushing me down the sidewalk we were all gathered in a group trying to decide what to do after a trip to the zoo with a bunch of chatroom friends that had come to visit us from all over.

He doesn't even really like nurses or techs pushing me, but has learned to let it go if they "insist."

ETA: I just realized I picked a bad post to quote on this.  I wasn't trying to make fun of or belittle your experience, @Briefly.  I just read the first sentence and it made me think of my husband with my wheelchair so quoted you.  I went back and read the entire post after I posted and saw the context.  Apologies!

That's fine!  As many times as I have word problems and say the totally wrong thing, I generally don't worry if somebody says something.  If I'm not sure, I'll ask what was meant.

[Lgirlrocks]

This comment was on the video she posted of Robert Truelove. I laughed so hard at Daryl’s comment. Off to the prayer closet now. 

[fluffy]

4 hours ago, Koala said:

when Lori leaks quotes from the super secret group, she usually includes quotes from "Cassi" (whose story seems to match her daughter)

Oh, different woman but same first name. I've done a double take too. I've just never seen daughter Cassi participate. I find it interesting that Lori has four daughters/daughters-in-law who never participate in her shenanigans. I'm not saying they don't agree with her (I think some do and some don't) but they actually act with more discretion than Lorbags by not starting fights online. I don't know a single person in real life who is so intensely aggressive and argumentative. I'm somewhat fascinated by what a hash she makes of things. As many Freejingers have observed, this is what Lori spends vacation time doing. A number of her kids and in-laws have visited with them in WI meanwhile she is muckraking online. The other dynamic I pick up on is that Ken really pushes her to have more of an online presence and name. He wanted her to allow comments online. He also wanted her to debate some other Christian lady online who reached out to Lori!! Lori thought it would be too much work. All of her sane fangirls begged her, yes begged, not to do it, but Lori said that Ken was encouraging her to do it. A few women observed that per her own opinion, she should do what her husband asked. We see how that advice turned out! Lori is in no way a submissive or obedient wife.  Leaving this fast food here in honor of the lady preacher... 

[ladyicantxplain]

Yeah, Chat Room Cassie isn't Lori's Cassi.  Used to be facebook friends with Chat Room Cassie but alas, I have been shunned after my Exodus from said Chat Room.

[Carol]

This could have been posted before but I don't remember seeing it.  

Ken, you're a disgusting, misogynistic piece of shit.  This is your reply to a woman who has PTSD from a rape and can't enjoy sex with her husband.  "If you cannot learn to enjoy sex with your spouse you are defrauding him.  One can give any number of excuses why they are justified in depriving a spouse, but such things are all self-centered and not loving towards their spouse".  WTF??!!  You are one, mean SOB.  

Lori's recent, horrific blog post has brought both of you well deserved scrutiny.  These are your true colors.  This is the real you.  You're the one who approves her posts and eggs her on to say ugly, demeaning things to any reader who disagree with her.  As her husband you could stop her but you chose not to.  You are equally yoked in fault and I hope this deeper scrutiny bites you both in the ass. 

Finally, do you realize how many times Lori has referred to sex as a duty, i.e., "five minutes and some lube".  By her own admission she never has and does not now enjoy sex with you.  She just wants your money and her creature comforts.  

  

[fluffy]

2 hours ago, ladyicantxplain said:

alas, I have been shunned after my Exodus from said Chat Room.

I AM SO SORRY. You are much, much better and kinder than jerks like that. Sending you an internet hug and high five. 

[Koala]

@fluffy Thank you for clearing that up for me!  I had long taken comfort in the fact that neither Lori's sisters or daughters took part in her online shenanigans, so I was really disappointed to see "Cassi" falling into lock-step with Godly Lori.

Apologies to Cassi if she reads here.

In other news, I am really surprised that Ken wants Lori to debate anyone.  She's...just not smart.  He's got to know that Lori wouldn't do well...

Hmmm....wonder if he wants her to fail.

[Petronella]

Honestly, I would find it creepy for my husband to not like me travelling alone. He has to travel for work a lot; I have to travel for work a little. Him finding my travel worrying would be very strange to me. I’m glad he’s not like that.

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

"In most cases the change can happen instantly with a decision"

What the hell do you know about it, Ken, you absolutely worthless wankstain?  How many times have you been assaulted, as a child or as an adult?  You can't even handle disagreements on the internet!  How about you decide to change yourself in an instant and never share your repulsive, empty, ignorant views with anyone ever again?

Attention all self-absorbed dipshits - your "right" to an orgasm does not supercede another person's right to their own body, sexuality, healing process, peace of mind, or anything else.  You presumably have hands, learn to use them, realize that intimacy and partnership encompasses much more than the physical, and no one owes you sex no matter what you imagine God has told you.

[Curious]

6 hours ago, fluffy said:

Oh, different woman but same first name. I've done a double take too. I've just never seen daughter Cassi participate. I find it interesting that Lori has four daughters/daughters-in-law who never participate in her shenanigans. I'm not saying they don't agree with her (I think some do and some don't) but they actually act with more discretion than Lorbags by not starting fights online. I don't know a single person in real life who is so intensely aggressive and argumentative. I'm somewhat fascinated by what a hash she makes of things. As many Freejingers have observed, this is what Lori spends vacation time doing. A number of her kids and in-laws have visited with them in WI meanwhile she is muckraking online. The other dynamic I pick up on is that Ken really pushes her to have more of an online presence and name. He wanted her to allow comments online. He also wanted her to debate some other Christian lady online who reached out to Lori!! Lori thought it would be too much work. All of her sane fangirls begged her, yes begged, not to do it, but Lori said that Ken was encouraging her to do it. A few women observed that per her own opinion, she should do what her husband asked. We see how that advice turned out! Lori is in no way a submissive or obedient wife.  Leaving this fast food here in honor of the lady preacher... 

I believe you are saying what she said so I'm not questioning you.  However, Lori is SUCH an unreliable narrator and we have caught her in many lies over the years.  Plus, we know she is VERY manipulative (sabotaged birth control anyone?). 

I would not put it past her to say Ken wanted her to do something when it was really HER wanting to do something and then having the excuse of being "forced" to do it because command man/submissive wife bs which we also KNOW she does not follow (Ken has said as much).

The reason it pings me as a Lori thing vs a Ken "making" her thing is that when Ken was here he was REALLY worried about the impact some of our thread titles would have on his business and he was scared we were going to contact some of his clients (which no one was *actually* going to do.  Someone suggested it and it was immediately shot down by other members).

Being a helpful sort, I try to mention that Ken Alexander is Lori Alexander's husband who owns an orthodontic consulting firm and you'd think he would be worried about all her drama causing him problems.

It's a good thing I only use goggle tactics for good isn't it? 

 

[Mellowing With Age]

Husbands not wanting their wives to travel alone, it seems weird to me. Maybe because my husband was career military, but I have traveled many places alone. I travel more alone than with him it seems. It was nothing for me to drive 500+ miles alone with just the children and myself. Neither of us batted an eye. This year, we are taking separate vacations. I will drive several hundred miles and a few states to get to my destination. He drove three times what I did to go on his vacation with the children. I am going on mine alone. I just need to recharge my batteries if you will. I have come a LONG way from my fundie days of trying to never take any "Me Time" (thank you Amy from Raising Arrows for that horrible article that heaped TONS of guilt on me!). 

[polecat]

"Keeper at home means to abide in the home," says Lori, who goes off gallivanting to Door County for weeks and months at a time. 

But okay.

"One can give any number of excuses why they are justified in depriving a spouse, but such things are all self-centered and not loving towards their spouse," Ken, goddammit, you're such a moron. I really think you two deserve each other. If sex was painful for you or caused your dick to bleed or maybe even BROKE your dick, d'ya think you'd still be calling it "self-centered" to say "Not tonight, dear"? Oh, wait, I suppose it is, by definition, since you're focused on yourSELF and your physical well-being. But I think it's rather fucking self-obsessed to demand sex from a spouse who is in pain -- physically or emotionally -- as a result of sex.

So go on. Enjoy that 10-minutes-and-lube romp. Neither of you is enjoying it -- we're not stupid -- but hey, at least you're getting an orgasm out of it. You'd probably be just as happy with your hand and some lotion ... but I guess that's sin. Too bad you'll never know the pleasure of a full-body orgasm with a partner you totally trust, love and get off on. The passion of an hour of foreplay and hot-n-bothered teasing followed by a long, steamy sex-a-thon. Or the uncontrollable lust of fucking up against the door because you're so desperate to have your spouse/partner that you can't even wait to reach a "more acceptable" place.

But okay.

[feministxtian]

16 minutes ago, polecat said:

Or the uncontrollable lust of fucking up against the door because you're so desperate to have your spouse/partner that you can't even wait to reach a "more acceptable" place.

Duuuuuuude! I remember those days...up against a tree in a public park!

[polecat]

10 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Duuuuuuude! I remember those days...up against a tree in a public park!

Right??? There's nothing like being so hot for each other that you just have to go, right then, right there. Those two wouldn't know passion if it plowed right over them in a steamroller.

[delphinium65]

15 minutes ago, polecat said:

Right??? There's nothing like being so hot for each other that you just have to go, right then, right there. Those two wouldn't know passion if it plowed right over them in a steamroller.

Hell, these two wouldn't even know simple enjoyment of each other, things like being together, doing things together, touching that may not be particularly sexual, but reaching for a hand, or putting an arm around the other, just because they matter to you.  Or how about spending time with that other not out of obligation, but because you WANT to?  A partner who is also your best friend?  

Just for the record, I'm not dissing the crazy hot passion thing, it's terrific!     But Lori and Ken don't even seem to like each other.  

[HoneyBunny]

1 hour ago, Mellowing With Age said:

Husbands not wanting their wives to travel alone, it seems weird to me. Maybe because my husband was career military, but I have traveled many places alone. I travel more alone than with him it seems. It was nothing for me to drive 500+ miles alone with just the children and myself. Neither of us batted an eye. This year, we are taking separate vacations. I will drive several hundred miles and a few states to get to my destination. He drove three times what I did to go on his vacation with the children. I am going on mine alone. I just need to recharge my batteries if you will. I have come a LONG way from my fundie days of trying to never take any "Me Time" (thank you Amy from Raising Arrows for that horrible article that heaped TONS of guilt on me!). 

I was a military wife too, who usually lived apart from my husband when he was deployed overseas, or saw him just on weekends when he was stationed in the US, plus I traveled all over for business from the age of 21. However, if now, at the age of almost 59, I announced I wanted to drive alone across the country (something I did with some regularity when I was younger) or fly across the world (ditto), I think my husband might object. And I don’t know if it’s his concerns or my own aging or a combination of the two that has me a bit more reluctant to take on the world. 

i wonder about that a lot. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

10 hours ago, fluffy said:

Oh, different woman but same first name. I've done a double take too. I've just never seen daughter Cassi participate. I find it interesting that Lori has four daughters/daughters-in-law who never participate in her shenanigans. I'm not saying they don't agree with her (I think some do and some don't) but they actually act with more discretion than Lorbags by not starting fights online. I don't know a single person in real life who is so intensely aggressive and argumentative. I'm somewhat fascinated by what a hash she makes of things. As many Freejingers have observed, this is what Lori spends vacation time doing. A number of her kids and in-laws have visited with them in WI meanwhile she is muckraking online. The other dynamic I pick up on is that Ken really pushes her to have more of an online presence and name. He wanted her to allow comments online. He also wanted her to debate some other Christian lady online who reached out to Lori!! Lori thought it would be too much work. All of her sane fangirls begged her, yes begged, not to do it, but Lori said that Ken was encouraging her to do it. A few women observed that per her own opinion, she should do what her husband asked. We see how that advice turned out! Lori is in no way a submissive or obedient wife.  Leaving this fast food here in honor of the lady preacher... 

I think Ken may have encouraged Lori's online nonsense because it keeps her from bothering him.

 

[Sarah92]

Reading what Ken wrote makes me ill. As someone who is not only active is advocating for assault survivors but counsels as well, it's disgusting. I doubt he's ever sat with a woman crying in frustration because she desperately wants to have a normal life with her husband but her PTSD makes it difficult to even accept no sexual touch. What trauma does to the brain and body is not just swept away with a simply "I'm going to let this go". Trauma, especially prolonged abuse, can literally rewire how the brain works. A wife with trauma is not defrauding her husband of anything. He can use his hand....And he can be intimate with his wife simply by being present with her. 

Also Patrick kills me. As a seminary graduate and an intellectual the anti-intellectualism in the church is one of the things killing the church. It's the kids that don't have any foundation outside of memorizing Bible verses that often gets lost once they hit high school. They hear about evolution and then freak out because they're never introduced to a more narrative, literature based approach to the Bible which leaves room for evolution. Worlds collide and their parents can't or won't answer tough questions. 

It also leads to people like Lori who have no biblical training or understanding. Someone with training would probably not being using the KJV nor making the mistakes she has when it comes to bible background and knowledge. Commentaries add depth and meaning to hard to understand passages. Of course, graduating from a seminary does not mean a person actually has a better biblical understanding, looking at you Ken. 

[Hisey]

Ken has tried really hard to cover this up. He clearly regrets writing it. However, he pissed me off by saying the affects of sexual assault can be eliminated immediately, with a "decision." So here it is again. Incest is commonplace, and not really a big deal unless you make it one! It's just a matter of perception.

[Coconut Flan]

7 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Ken has tried really hard to cover this up. He clearly regrets writing it. However, he pissed me off by saying the affects of sexual assault can be eliminated immediately, with a "decision." So here it is again. Incest is commonplace, and not really a big deal unless you make it one! It's just a matter of perception.

Just when I didn't think I could see Ken as more warped, he goes and writes that.  He does not even approximate a normal human any more.

[AuntKrazy]

2 hours ago, Mellowing With Age said:

Husbands not wanting their wives to travel alone, it seems weird to me. Maybe because my husband was career military, but I have traveled many places alone. I travel more alone than with him it seems. It was nothing for me to drive 500+ miles alone with just the children and myself. Neither of us batted an eye. This year, we are taking separate vacations. I will drive several hundred miles and a few states to get to my destination. He drove three times what I did to go on his vacation with the children. I am going on mine alone. I just need to recharge my batteries if you will. I have come a LONG way from my fundie days of trying to never take any "Me Time" (thank you Amy from Raising Arrows for that horrible article that heaped TONS of guilt on me!). 

I think it depends on the situation for us.  I may have to travel for work in a few months to a part of the world which does not really embrace women's rights; and my husband is worried about me going there alone because of that fact more than anything.  But when we each have traveled to work conferences, etc. neither has ever questioned traveling alone.   

I will say that I really miss him when we have to be apart, but that just makes it even better when one of us returns home.  

[feministxtian]

2 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

Hell, these two wouldn't even know simple enjoyment of each other, things like being together, doing things together, touching that may not be particularly sexual, but reaching for a hand, or putting an arm around the other, just because they matter to you.  Or how about spending time with that other not out of obligation, but because you WANT to?  A partner who is also your best friend?  

Just for the record, I'm not dissing the crazy hot passion thing, it's terrific!     But Lori and Ken don't even seem to like each other.  

We make people sick...we're ALWAYS holding hands. Smooches are a "requirement" multiple times a day too. For the most part, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend time with than my hubs. 

Since I have to be at work so damn early, I tend to be in bed no later than 9:30. I tell him over and over he doesn't have to go to bed with me. Well, he'll come and lay down with me anyway. He sometimes gets back up but he waits until I'm asleep. THEN he gets up at the ass crack of dawn with me and then goes back to bed after I leave. I don't "expect" it, I keep telling him he doesn't have to do that, but he does. THAT my friends is LOVE LOVE LOVE. 

[louisa05]

@feministxtian No, that is the way you and your spouse express love. It is not the definition of love. 

My spouse and I do not express ourselves through PDA (there is plenty of A between us but as two introverts, the PD part is not our cup of tea) nor do I think that I have to get up at 4:45 when he gets up for work to prove I love him and he doesn't think I need to either. For me, love is the fact that he knows I need more sleep to function and is as quiet as possible so that he doesn't wake me up. 

I have spent the majority of my professional life working with teens. When we define love by external actions, especially things like PDA and constant presence, we actually are doing a disservice to what kids expect from relationships. If those things are expressions of love for you, that is fine. But please understand that it is not the definition of what love or a healthy relationship is or must be. 

[Sarah92]

32 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

We make people sick...we're ALWAYS holding hands. Smooches are a "requirement" multiple times a day too. For the most part, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend time with than my hubs. 

Since I have to be at work so damn early, I tend to be in bed no later than 9:30. I tell him over and over he doesn't have to go to bed with me. Well, he'll come and lay down with me anyway. He sometimes gets back up but he waits until I'm asleep. THEN he gets up at the ass crack of dawn with me and then goes back to bed after I leave. I don't "expect" it, I keep telling him he doesn't have to do that, but he does. THAT my friends is LOVE LOVE LOVE. 

Omgosh y'all just seem like such a cute couple! You give me hope for a good relationship. Actually a lot of you ladies do!