Josiah and Lauren Part 9: Where Are They Honeymooning?

[albireo]

53 minutes ago, JillyO said:

I'm so confused that we have still seen so little of this wedding. Looks like we're definitely not getting a People spread, but then why are they so stingy with wedding pictures? There's not a single photo of the wedding party (and not even any info on who was in their wedding party) so far. What's going on?

TLC restrictions on Bates kids in the lineup? Is Si close to any Bates brothers?

[LiterallyBananas]

Like several others have stated, I just wonder if they're tired and overwhelmed, especially Lauren. There was so much to look forward to with wedding planning and everything before that. It was a part of life she was used to and had learned to be excited about. She knew what to anticipate.

I know this has been talked about ad nauseam, but fundies go from 0 to 100 with marriage. It's all fun and games until you're moving from side-hugs to naked in the span of a few hours. She's so young and sheltered (I feel like there is a better word to describe her upbringing but I can't quite put my finger on it) - it's a lot to process in a short period of time and a huge change in identity. 

Also, SO many people at all the Duggar weddings. That alone would leave me exhausted and awkward-er than normal, even the next morning or whatever. 

ETA - Homesickness wasn't something I thought about until it was mentioned a few comments up. I absolutely think that could be contributing to the "off" feeling of the video. When I realized being with my (now) husband felt like home, that's when I knew we were in it for the long haul. Josiah and Lauren are still relative strangers. 

[Mama Mia]

1 hour ago, bananabread said:

That video.........so much wtf.

Those sighs...??

The weird lack of enthusiasm.....???

Josiah's trying-too-hard "marriage is a BLESSinG!!1!"....................???????

Are we just reading too much into this? Because they seem SO weird together.

Lauren reminds me of Priscilla Waller.  

Painful ...

BUT - maybe, just maybe they are completely zapped of all possible energy or coherent thought for the reasons most 19 and 21 year olds who just got some serious grown-up time would be . Maybe. Hopefully. 

 

[rainbowbabycakes]

I also think it sounds like she's either reading, or at least practiced, and trying to remember everything she is supposed to say.... Hopefully they're both just exhausted, I could barely hear her, lol

[Oh_Dear!]

I’m probably reading too much into their being in a car, but maybe they’re just getting back from their honeymoon. If I remember correctly, most of these couples left for the honeymoon a day after wedding and usually take a 7 day TLC honeymoon. They may have just gotten back from theirs. 

I don’t know why I’m trying to justify this awkwardness. Maybe because Lauren’s voice is so maudlin, it’s making me nauseous. 

[Dandruff]

Maybe they had practiced scripted lines for the past half hour, she had reached her limit, so this is what they went with?

[nastyhobbitses]

This is some "last scene of The Graduate"-level shit. 

[Karma]

7 hours ago, Cheetah said:

We did a big Europe trip 3 years ago and my kids got tired of hearing me say yet again that 'this country didn't exist or had different borders when I was your age.'  (Croatia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Slovenia, Czech Republic, and Germany). 

Croatia is gorgeous... have a great time!  I want to go back... are you going to Dubrovnik?  Plitvice Lakes?

Thankyou!  I’m so looking forward to it. Yes we are doing an 11 day tour of the area (I wish it was longer) and it includes  a night at Plitvice lakes, two in Dubrovnik, and then we have an extra four nights on Hvar to relax at the end. 

[Quiver Full of Kittens]

2 hours ago, LiterallyBananas said:

 

ETA - Homesickness wasn't something I thought about until it was mentioned a few comments up. I absolutely think that could be contributing to the "off" feeling of the video. When I realized being with my (now) husband felt like home, that's when I knew we were in it for the long haul. Josiah and Lauren are still relative strangers. 

Mr. Kittens and I didn’t live together before we got married. We lived in the same large-ish city, just opposite sides of town about an hour apart.  We moved me in a week before the wedding, and I stayed with airmatesses and camping chairs my last few days there. I ended kept my apartment through the month we were married just for convenience’s sake. I lived in that apartment, on my own, for 7 years. I still get homesick for it, my side of town, my church community, and it’s been a year. Not saying that’s Lauren’s trouble, but I could absolutely see it.  

[Gobbles]

1 hour ago, Karma said:

Yes we are doing an 11 day tour of the area (I wish it was longer) and it includes  a night at Plitvice lakes, two in Dubrovnik, and then we have an extra four nights on Hvar to relax at the end. 

Now I hate you!  Hvar is my second home, but we can't go there currently because my Grandparents are to old to take care of our dog. I just love Hvar. I could cry thinking about not being able to go there this year. We are in teeny tiny village when we are there. Our friends have apartments to rent. We have also taken our little boat (boat is the wrong word, a tiny nutshell with 4PS engine) there in earlier years. 

I attached one of my favourite pictures. The first two parts belong to Hvar. (It is the channel that leads to Stari Grad, were the car ferry from Split arrives.) In the back is Brac. Second picture is in our village. Our way to the bakery every morning. You can't really see how steep it is, but the vineyard gives you a clue. 

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[bird]

On 7/6/2018 at 9:33 AM, bird said:

Immaculate and flawless are always worth the wait in my opinion. Especially if you are going to be busting in anywhere. Such a weird mental picture. 

Sorry for the confusion I was being facetious. The language was a little over the top to me- the immaculate stained glass chapel for example- and there was a lot of eyebrow gymnastics going on while I was reading it but the busting into the immaculate chapel just made me laugh. I appreciate this may be a usual term in some places. 

I have read that at a certain time of year it is possible to see many different species of whales in Canada and I would love more than anything to see that. 

[SweetJuly]

6 hours ago, LiterallyBananas said:

I know this has been talked about ad nauseam, but fundies go from 0 to 100 with marriage. It's all fun and games until you're moving from side-hugs to naked in the span of a few hours. She's so young and sheltered (I feel like there is a better word to describe her upbringing but I can't quite put my finger on it) - it's a lot to process in a short period of time and a huge change in identity.

(...)

ETA - Homesickness wasn't something I thought about until it was mentioned a few comments up. I absolutely think that could be contributing to the "off" feeling of the video. When I realized being with my (now) husband felt like home, that's when I knew we were in it for the long haul. Josiah and Lauren are still relative strangers. 

This.

They go from 0 to 100 with marriage - about everything, not just sexually.

Remember how awkward that first date was? Visiting the other person's place for the first time? Sleeping over at their place for the first time? Moving in with someone, even if you have stayed at each other's places before? Remember how especially awkward it was with your very first boy-/girlfriend in your teenage years? I do! *shudder*

Lauren is a young girl who has left life as she has known it. She left her family and her home, probably for the first time and with no way back. She has moved in with a young man whose true personality she hardly knows. This is a huge adjustment for her, but also for Josiah who now suddenly has to get used to being an adored husband and headship. These two are still in the phase where you try to live up to what you think the other person wants, where you are afraid to be yourself at times. It must be terribly awkward.

No wonder we see this reflected in their Thank You video.

I hope that they will like whomever they discover over the next couple of months within the person they married, and are able to grow and develop together, the way Jessa and Ben seem to have done.

[Lovebug]

10 hours ago, Lizzybet said:

That was actually difficult to watch.

That kiss at the end - I've been the girl that has pulled back that quick because I had lost my attraction once things got physical.

Back in my dating years I can recall being completely attracted to a guy or two, then being unbelievably turned off once the physical aspect came into play - kiss or otherwise. Maybe I gave it a date or two more, or maybe I knew immediately, but in the end I can remember thinking to myself - this just isn't going to work, you've gotta break it off.  I can't imagine being in a position where I couldn't do that because I was married to a person I never knew physically, in ANY way, shape or form beforehand. 

Yes, there is more to a relationship than being physical, but chemistry is real and if there is none, that would be tough to live with for the rest of your life.

*I am NOT saying this is what video is depicting. Just sharing my experience based on my perception of what I saw.

[HereticHick]

6 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Maybe they had practiced scripted lines for the past half hour, she had reached her limit, so this is what they went with?

And perhaps 19-year old sheltered homeschooled fundy girls have had little or no experience in "public speaking."

They haven't done book reports in front of the class. They haven't been allowed to participate in amateur dramatics. They haven't been allowed to be on a debate team or any sort or club.  Maybe they even home church, and never get to read bible verses in front of a congregation that consists of more than their family.

[Sister Mozz]

I watch that thank you video and keep remembering the wedding video where she says with breathless wonder, "It's like we're living in a dreeeam!"

 

She hardly appears to be the same person. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

OMG--that video! Wow. Was the first time THAT awful? Do they even like each other? Was she so sheltered and so pushed into it that she saw nothing to worry her in him? It worries me that he has been made over into a picture of smugness. Remember the happy little boy who picked wildflowers for his Grandma and sisters? Now we truly have Smugger, Jr, but without the naked lust, just the smugness. Like "I'm married.  OK Daddy??" is what "Siah radiates. Let's hope it gets better in time.

[BundleofJoy]

Is someone able to write out what they are saying in that video? I have some auditory processing issues and cannot for the life of me figure out what she's saying! And the youtube captions think they're speaking Spanish, so that's also of no help lol.

Even a couple of sentences would be really helpful! Just want to get a basic idea of what they are saying. 

[Thorns]

I imagine Lauren has had this vision of marriage as sunshine, roses and pink angels swoshing around in a dream world were everything us perfect and not hard work, because Gods intented. But now she has to face the realities of sharing a home with a man she barely knows, being alone, having to budget, and really living a interely different life that she has had until now. And, the honeymoon could have been supremely awkward. What do you do all day, all alone, when you are increadibly sheltered and have never spent much time with someone one-on-one before at all? And you can't do "hey hey hey" all day either. 

(When I and Hubs go on holiday together we plan for alone time, and can sit in the same room for hours in companiable silence doing nothing. They probably feel they have to be together all.the.time, and I would guess feel horrid if they do not like it.) 

I sincerely hope they do get along, and that the marriage is everything they hoped for. It will be a long life if not. 

[scoutsadie]

12 minutes ago, BundleofJoy said:

Is someone able to write out what they are saying in that video? I have some auditory processing issues and cannot for the life of me figure out what she's saying! And the youtube captions think they're speaking Spanish, so that's also of no help lol.

Even a couple of sentences would be really helpful! Just want to get a basic idea of what they are saying. 

Basically, it's "Thank you all for your good wishes and comments; we're so excited to be married finally - it still feels like a dream.  We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us and we're so grateful that He brought us together; marriage is a blessing and we are so excited to share our future memories with you.  Thanks again."

[AnnEggBlandHer?]

Filming the video in the car also seems weird to me, like it was sprung on them and not something they really planned. Maybe they just got back from their honeymoon and went to Lauren’s house to pack/move the rest of her stuff for their new home? That would make me emotional. 

Or maybe... (please prepare yourselves for wildly unlikely speculation) 

This has all been a trick! They found each other and communicated a secret desire to escape, and planned the wedding to help each other get out. They took the honeymoon, because free vacation, and are now ready to leave together. Lauren is emotional because she knows her family will shun her and she still cares for them, especially the little ones she has raised. They were all ready to drive away when they remembered their contractual obligation to film a pointless Thank You video, so they did it as quickly as possible and threw in as many canned phrases as they could as a subtle F you. Lauren’s sighs were because she couldn’t believe she was still spouting such crap. The kiss looks awkward because it’s fake, they plan on divorcing as soon as they are both on their feet. And they lived happily ever after. 

[VelociRapture]

11 hours ago, Oh_Dear! said:

I’m probably reading too much into their being in a car, but maybe they’re just getting back from their honeymoon. If I remember correctly, most of these couples left for the honeymoon a day after wedding and usually take a 7 day TLC honeymoon. They may have just gotten back from theirs. 

I don’t know why I’m trying to justify this awkwardness. Maybe because Lauren’s voice is so maudlin, it’s making me nauseous. 

Many of the couples appear to have two Honeymoons - one that’s more “local” immediately after the wedding and a second international trip two or three weeks later. Here’s a list off the top of my head:

- Smuggars: somewhere in South Carolina. Honeymoon was filmed.

- Dills: Kill Devil Hills in North Carolina. Honeymoon was NOT filmed. 

Benessa: time in the Ozarks right after the wedding, then their TLC trip to France and Italy. 

JinJer: time in Arkansas followed by the TLC trip to Australia. They were married right before the 2016 election, so they likely voted prior to leaving for Australia.

JoStin: time in Colorado (I believe), followed by the TLC trip to Switzerland. They came home for a few days to film the after special, then left for that tour thing in Israel.

JoKen: I think they stayed local prior to the TLC trip to Greece.

I think the two Honeymoons is actual a pretty decent idea for these couples to be honest. The first one is private and gives the couple a bit of time to adjust to being alone together. The second one is a chance to travel somewhere they may not have been able to go to otherwise and likely earn some money from the trip too. 

[pandora]

11 hours ago, Oh_Dear! said:

I’m probably reading too much into their being in a car, but maybe they’re just getting back from their honeymoon. If I remember correctly, most of these couples left for the honeymoon a day after wedding and usually take a 7 day TLC honeymoon. They may have just gotten back from theirs. 

I'd bet they're actually just about to leave for the honeymoon if they're going somewhere international- that's what Jessa and Ben did ( here they are on the first night of their honeymoon reminiscing about getting married over a week before), and I think it was implied that Jinger/Jeremy and Joy/Austin did so as well (they haven't aired Joe and Kendra's honeymoon yet). Makes sense if you really have never been alone together to take a week or so to get to know each other before adding in travel, jet lag, and cameras.  

ETA: @VelociRapture just covered it! Carry on.

 

[FleeJanaFree]

That truly was an awkward video. My very first thought was ...bad sex. I don't mean that flippantly, or cruelty. As others have stated, it's HARD to go from zero to sixty. They're dealing with huge life changes, and the awkwardness of puberty and dating that should range over years, over night. They probably had very high expectations of marriage, and sex. It's going to take a while for them to feel super comfortable, or that they're doing things 'right', and on camera.

Anyway, I'll  jump in this thread drift that's doesn't seem like it's  going anywhere...GO on vacation! Time really is running out! I spent years doing the 'proper' thing...paying off school. Building a savings. Paying off my car. Buying invisalign. I finally got the chance to travel internationally last week, and WENT! Im not married and none of my friends could go. I went anyway. Like my thoughts above....it didn't totally meet my expectations. Traveling internationally is hard, y'all, but I can still say I'm glad (and hell, even a bit proud of myself) I went, and will do so again in December. I wish I had gone earlier in life, taken out a loan or something. There are so many places I want to go that I feel panicked. My childhood was chockfull of camping trips. We had one where we flew somewhere (and stayed with relatives) and I remember it so fondly. Go ahead and make those memories with your kids even if there's a fear they won't remember. 

By the way, if you do travel internationally solo, just pay the extra money to avoid layovers and connections. Amsterdam and Paris airports nearly broke me. 

[nickelodeon]

Fundie honeymoons must be like first night at college away from your family weirdness + losing your virginity weirdness + sharing your space with a new person weirdness all rolled into one day. Oh AND you're on cable TV AND there's international travel involved! I would be dead exhausted afterward.

[SuperNova]

22 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I just want to say it’s fine to prioritize travel, but it’s also ok if you can’t/don’t want to as well. I love to travel and my husband enjoys it as well, but it’s taken a backseat the last few years because we adopted a dog, had a baby, and are looking to hopefully buy a bigger place next year. Saving for travel AND a bigger place AND to have another child soon just isn’t feasible for us, so we likely won’t be traveling for a while as we get that other stuff done. So, other FJers, don’t feel bad or left out if you can’t/don’t want to travel either. 

Thank you for saying this. Mr. Nova and I just don't care to travel. Short trips are fine. Our daughter lives 600 miles away in a beautiful area of CA and we love to visit but beyond that, nothing really compels us. With that being said, I've been all over the world and I was probably the most reluctant traveller ever. Time and time again I've heard people tell me what a huge mistake I made for giving up a job that allowed me to travel for free with time built in to enjoy wherever I was. I quit my job for health reasons but I wasn't sorry to give up the travel. 

My fondest memories of travelling are from hitchhiking across CA in the 90's when I was 14-15. Stupid, I know, but the freedom was amazing. I could have easily been hurt but somehow I only had good experiences.