Bro Gary Hawkins 7: Asking For Thoughts and Chairs

[Lisafer]

12 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

Bro GHaw for 'Murica

Oh, god. Sometimes I feel guilty for laughing at Bro Gary because I worry that he actually has some kind of learning disability or something. On the other hand, I think he's certainly capable of working a REAL JOB DAMMIT.

[MarblesMom]

Just now, Lisafer said:

I think he's certainly capable of working a REAL JOB DAMMIT.

Perhaps at a major news outlet, with his superb communication skills.... 

[Lisafer]

1 minute ago, MarblesMom said:

Perhaps at a major news outlet, with his superb communication skills.... 

I was thinking the weenie factory

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

26 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

Perhaps at a major news outlet, with his superb communication skills.... 

I'm sure he would fit right in with his other intellectual equals at FOX News.

[Black Aliss]

On 7/2/2018 at 7:38 PM, Alisamer said:

Hey, God, I think you're going to have to arrange the weens into words for Gary, and hope he takes the time to sound them out before eating them. Don't forget to sign it with the gravy or he might not get it. 

Becky needs to serve him a big supper bowel of alphabet soup, make it easier for God to spell it out for him.

Spoiler

 

[smittykins]

7 hours ago, Lisafer said:

I was thinking the weenie factory

None of them would ever make it out of the factory--they'd all be IN HIM!

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, smittykins said:

None of them would ever make it out of the factory--they'd all be IN HIM!  ATE!

FTFY.

Sometimes his writing isn't as functionally illiterate.  Do we think Becky writes those pieces?  I'm still catching up on Bro. Gary.

[FullOfGravy]

10 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

Perhaps at a major news outlet, with his superb communication skills.... 

Probably qualified to work at the White House, preparing press releases.  Maybe he can even help edit some presidential tweets.

[Nikedagain?]

5 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

FTFY.

Sometimes his writing isn't as functionally illiterate.  Do we think Becky writes those pieces?  I'm still catching up on Bro. Gary.

I think we have definitely identified times when Becks takes over the writing. 

I work for a major university doing various elements of supported employment for individuals with intellectual disabilities. Trust me, if some of my crew can work (at the same employer for 20+ years no less), Bro can hustle up a job that can keep his family in weens and pay in to social security ( I mean, how has he not thought about this?? I would think he would already be planning to depend on this...)  like others.

L A Z Y and I G N O R A N T are his disabilities. 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Righteousrides.org is the vehicles for preachers "ministry".  Can't post a link right now as internet  connection not good.

 

[Nikedagain?]

5 minutes ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

Righteousrides.org is the vehicles for preachers "ministry".  Can't post a link right now as internet  connection not good.

 

Are we sure this is the org that he had in mind? If I am reading this correctly, they provide affordable RENTALS for missionaries who are stationed overseas, but come home for furlough and do not have a vehicle. BroG should raise all of their red flags. ALL OF 'EM!

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

43 minutes ago, Nikedagain? said:

Are we sure this is the org that he had in mind? If I am reading this correctly, they provide affordable RENTALS for missionaries who are stationed overseas, but come home for furlough and do not have a vehicle. BroG should raise all of their red flags. ALL OF 'EM!

Don't they also have good used vehicles for sale cheap? They might help out a lovable, humble and lazy dude like Bro, maybe. If all the people/churches Bro has begged from sign a petition to please get this wiener a vehicle.  Might work.

[Lillymuffin]

16 hours ago, Lisafer said:

Oh, god. Sometimes I feel guilty for laughing at Bro Gary because I worry that he actually has some kind of learning disability or something. On the other hand, I think he's certainly capable of working a REAL JOB DAMMIT.

Willful ignorance is not a disability. 

[larrysmom]

On 7/3/2018 at 4:22 PM, keepercjr said:

Anyone believe he will actually be able to read and comprehend it?

OK Folks:

So, I looked up the Holy Ground book that Bro Gary was gifted and this is what I found [my comments in bold and brackets]:

"This book offers three specific benefits. It is a comprehensive line-upon-line history of the State of Israel; the 850-page text represents a rare combination of thorough scholarship (3,000 endnotes and 750 bibliography entries), while maintaining an intriguing readability (enhanced by 200 photographs and maps). [Is it just me, or did they not really list three specific benefits, here? Being well-researched and readable should not be the main selling points of your book. But at least it has pictures! So we can assume that Bro Gary might get through some of it.]

Jack Minor, a contributing writer for World Net Daily [oh, there's a credential...], calls Holy Ground "the definitive work on the subject." The reader will also discover many previously unknown (suppressed) facts [suppressed, eh...my conspiracy theorist radar has been activated]. Finally, the author addresses the growing ideological clash between "anti-Semitic Christians" and believers who idolize the Jewish people so much that they would exempt them from the new birth. He posits Romans 11:28 as the ultimate spiritual conundrum—the Jew as a "beloved enemy."" [Uhh...]

Also, on July 1, I was driving from PA to NY, but too far east to run into Bro Gary while he was broken down on the side of the road... So close.

- Sis Larrysmom

[Jug Band Baby]

1 hour ago, larrysmom said:

OK Folks:

So, I looked up the Holy Ground book that Bro Gary was gifted and this is what I found [my comments in bold and brackets]:

"This book offers three specific benefits. It is a comprehensive line-upon-line history of the State of Israel; the 850-page text represents a rare combination of thorough scholarship (3,000 endnotes and 750 bibliography entries), while maintaining an intriguing readability (enhanced by 200 photographs and maps). [Is it just me, or did they not really list three specific benefits, here? Being well-researched and readable should not be the main selling points of your book. But at least it has pictures! So we can assume that Bro Gary might get through some of it.]

Jack Minor, a contributing writer for World Net Daily [oh, there's a credential...], calls Holy Ground "the definitive work on the subject." The reader will also discover many previously unknown (suppressed) facts [suppressed, eh...my conspiracy theorist radar has been activated]. Finally, the author addresses the growing ideological clash between "anti-Semitic Christians" and believers who idolize the Jewish people so much that they would exempt them from the new birth. He posits Romans 11:28 as the ultimate spiritual conundrum—the Jew as a "beloved enemy."" [Uhh...]

Also, on July 1, I was driving from PA to NY, but too far east to run into Bro Gary while he was broken down on the side of the road... So close.

- Sis Larrysmom

It's easy to write 850 pages when you use big print, wide margins, and double-space.

I went to Amazon and skimmed over a few of the 5-star reviews.  It doesn't sound like they're the brightest bunch of bananas.

[FullOfGravy]

1 hour ago, Lillymuffin said:

Willful ignorance is not a disability. 

Neither is profound laziness.

Bro GHaw is a proud graduate of a fundie SOTDRT, isn't he?  There's low literacy and ignorance as a result of a poor educational start in life, and then there's flat-out refusal to either work a job he's qualified for, or seek help to qualify for something else.  Even if he truly feels that ministry is his calling (doubtful; my guess is that calling himself a "preacher" is an excuse for not doing anything else), he's not currently very good at it, and he could start by taking some adult education classes to improve his communication skills.

Or, in something closer to Weenese: Ok folks Bro Gary Hawkins not talk or rite good not good preachin pleas pray the LORD will for him and the LORD plan to lead to skool for him.

[MarblesMom]

Well, HAYUMEN!  Bro G-Haw is still trying to unload his chairs in NC.  $250 gets you 83 chairs.

[LovelyLuna]

Ahhhhh hahahaha Bro G for ‘Merica! That photo made me giggle   

I love me some good biscuits and sausage gravy, but I can only eat it a few times a year because it is so heavy.  It is a eat and then take a nap meal,  which may explain some of Bro G’s issues. 

[mango_fandango]

Bro Hawkins’s dad brought some “maters” and Bro Hawkins had a mater sandwich. Why did he call them “maters”? He called them “tomatoes” in the tomato gravy (HORK) post...

 

[Alisamer]

2 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Bro Hawkins’s dad brought some “maters” and Bro Hawkins had a mater sandwich. Why did he call them “maters”? He called them “tomatoes” in the tomato gravy (HORK) post...

 

He’s from North Carolina, right? It’s mater sandwich. It just is. I dont even eat them and I call them that, and that’s not how I usually speak!

[mango_fandango]

Ah ok, it’s a regional thing. I learn so many random bits about American culture on here. 

[Alisamer]

6 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Ah ok, it’s a regional thing. I learn so many random bits about American culture on here. 

Definitely regional, and probably some class stuff in there too - I grew up on a farm. 

Not only had my dad always said “mater sandwich”, his fave Disney character is Mater from Cars. My dad’s mater sandwich is dukes mayo, thick slices of (usually home grown) tomatoes, and lots of pepper. 

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Bro Hawkins’s dad brought some “maters” and Bro Hawkins had a mater sandwich. Why did he call them “maters”? He called them “tomatoes” in the tomato gravy (HORK) post...

 

My husband calls tomatoes "maters" and we're in CA. His grandma was from Amarillo so maybe that's where he picked it up?

What does Gary actually do with himself all day? He has time to post about his lunch and beg but what about the rest of the time? Does he literally just sit and wait for something to happen? I think yes.

[Dandruff]

59 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Does he literally just sit and wait for something to happen? I think yes.

Given what he eats, I think something regularly happens.  Still no excuse for not getting a JOB though...

[Lisafer]

12 hours ago, LovelyLuna said:

Ahhhhh hahahaha Bro G for ‘Merica! That photo made me giggle   

I love me some good biscuits and sausage gravy, but I can only eat it a few times a year because it is so heavy.  It is a eat and then take a nap meal,  which may explain some of Bro G’s issues. 

I love biscuits and sausage gravy also! But even when I look at pictures from recipes on the internet, there's no way to make it look appetizing, is there? Bro Gary's food pics make me want to hork.