Bro Gary Hawkins 7: Asking For Thoughts and Chairs

[Snarkylark]

54 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

Do the churches he preaches at not have tents?  Or is this a tent they live in?

Pretty sure he supplies the tent and the camping chairs. 

[keepercjr]

Someone gave him a revival tent and the chairs a little while back.  I legit laughed at the thought of Gary and Becky living out of a tent.  Sad for the kids though.

[Jug Band Baby]

BROS!  Er, SISSES!  And bros.  

I legit ate Bro Gary for dinner tonight.  Becky too.  He showed up with his hat, and what do ya know, he does indeedy know GOD will because he has a copy in his KING JAMES BIBLE.  Becky tried selling me a pair of teal plastic Papa Rotsy joory.  I don't care that they're reel purty.  I like my crystal studs that don't turn my ears green. 

Like a good hostess, I served weeny gravy in a jet-row bowel, but I didn't have red weenies.  Maybe he won't know it's just ketchup and mayo. 

So I really hoped they'd be the polar octopus of what I thought, maybe have some intelligence, but he kept calling me "Bro."  My boobs and makeup and girly voice were overshadowed by my pants.  I guess it's true that pants make a ma-HAYMAYUN!  I can haz male privilege now?  ALELOOYER!  Autonomy!  But then he wouldn't stop talking about how his van's underwater, he needs my money because he gave me REAL GOOD PREECHIN.  So they were just a couple of wieners.  I guess it's true that you are what you eat.  Maybe he'll GET A JOB, but I doubt it.  He's too spineless to work, or to do anything else.

Because this is the internet machine, I got me a pitcher.

 

Spoiler

 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OMG  @Jug Band Baby you are killing me.  Great post and picture.  Now I gots the laffing hickups!

Now Bros daddy has to come and rescue him!  Just what an old man needs!  

[Tree Hugger 2]

So Bro has broken down in what is probably his father's car. His senior citizen father has to travel in dangerous heat to come help him, just like one might have to do for a 16 year old.  Adulting is hard for Bro. "Pride goeth before destruction" has been taken to the next level with him.   He seems to have no shame that he is still dependent on his daddy or a sense of pride that he can look after himself. go figure. 

[Jug Band Baby]

Glad to make you laugh, @Don'tlikekoolaid.  I bought a pack of the jumbo hotdogs just to do those since the jumbo dogs are easier to octopus.  It's a pack of four instead of seven, with the same total weight, I think.  Does anyone know what Bro thinks of Jewish people?  I get Hebrew National hotdogs (I have hangups about processed meats like hotdogs, so always get kosher).  So he mighta had a bit of it in him last night.  

Did Bro's daddy fail this hard with all his kids, or just Bro-Gary-o?

[keepercjr]

3 days to get their affairs in order and drive what exactly?  They were using a borrowed vee-hickle to begin with!  And is there seriously a ministry to help other ministries with vehicles?  I doubt they are going to buy him a van.  Maybe a $1500 junker.  

Man I just can’t picture living life this way.  Or being a woman and signing right up for this.  Have some dignity and pride!

[catlady]

Ok folks. Every time I turn around, GHaw has broken another vee-hickle.  Sure, he’s paying next to nothing for most of them, and this last one was borrowed as indicated above. So how is it that they’re *all* lemons?  Is it just me?  I can’t help but think that Bro Gary is so stupid that he could be ruining them through misuse or neglect. (i.e. does he do anything when the oil light comes on or when the temp gauge gets too high?)  plenty of people with no mechanical experience still manage to take care of their cars, but Gary has toasted as many autos in the past year as i’ve owned in the past 27 years (I think he’s had 3 breakdowns?  Feel free to correct me on that.  I’m on my third car ever, and i’m a few years older than GHaw. 

[Jug Band Baby]

2 minutes ago, catlady said:

So how is it that they’re *all* lemons?  Is it just me?  I can’t help but think that Bro Gary is so stupid that he could be ruining them through misuse or neglect. (i.e. does he do anything when the oil light comes on or when the temp gauge gets too high?)  plenty of people with no mechanical experience still manage to take care of their cars, but Gary has toasted as many autos in the past year as i’ve owned in the past 27 years (I think he’s had 3 breakdowns?  Feel free to correct me on that.  I’m on my third car ever, and i’m a few years older than GHaw. 

He's buying veehickles that are so cheap that I bet the sellers are glad to have found a sucker, and I doubt he maintains them at all.  Unless someone else pays or does it for free, he's ain't gunna do it.

At least 2 RVs and 2cars, I believe.  Lemme count my own cars.  And my husband's.  Pontiac that was totaled by someone else and then I sold the wreck for MORE than I paid for it, Honda Civic that was stolen, BMW that I accidentally neglected, an Altima that he let his ex-wife have even though he was finishing the payments (she needed it more, and he made more money and had access to a work vehicle), Sebring convertible that I sold after having a baby, another BMW that was towed after a drunk driver hit it while it was parked, Durango that was stolen, Altima and some model of Mercedes now.  So I'm at 8, and one from trying to hobble it home instead of towing, which totaled the engine.  Now some of those were when we had 2 at the same time.  Like we had the Durango, bought the Altima, Durango was stolen, replaced with the Mercedes (we're in a place with almost no transit, the nearest stop being almost a mile away).

Now, the point of this is that most of my vehicles were high mileage.  My first Beemer had over 300k miles when I bought it, and almost 400k miles when I toasted the engine, and I own my stupidity on that one.  The Sebring had well over 200k miles, about 170k when I bought it, but I was scared of the idea of a roll-over in a convertible after having a baby.  Second Beemer had almost 300k when we bought it, and I don't know how many when it was hit.  The Durango had over 200k when we got it, and it was demanding of our time.  So my husband babied that thing and spent a lot of time looking it over to try to catch any little problems as soon as they cropped up.  Because of that, we got about 70k miles by the time it was stolen.  He cried over that truck.  He was really proud of the maintenance he personally did with his own hands, including getting it back to running after some idiot hit me in it.  The Altima is the baby.  It's still well under 100k miles.  The Mercedes had 277k when we bought it last year, and I don't know how many now since I rarely drive it.

All that to say that even high mileage vehicles can run solid and reliably if maintained.  I'm willing to bet he's buying them from people who didn't take care of them, and then isn't taking care of them himself.  

[OhNoNike]

Scanned his FB and found this gem on the gravy pic. 

Taryn is that you?

[FullOfGravy]

11 minutes ago, OhNoNike said:

Scanned his FB and found this gem on the gravy pic. 

Taryn is that you?

I'm WTF-ing at Dianna too.  No food GHaw has ever posted has looked remotely delicious.  Like something half-digested by a cat, yes.  Delicious, no.

[Candydandy]

Ok folks Bro got introduction to veehickle ministry. Now he wait for the Lord to decide what to do with  the Lord vehicle. Can someone just give Bro a reliable veehicle already? Please with weens and gravy. 

[MarblesMom]

Does Bro GHaw know that "filling the tank" doesn't mean with weens and gravy, right?  Perhaps that is the root cause of all the VEEhickle breakdowns.....?

[Alisamer]

1 hour ago, FullOfGravy said:

I'm WTF-ing at Dianna too.  No food GHaw has ever posted has looked remotely delicious.  Like something half-digested by a cat, yes.  Delicious, no.

I have to say that biscuits and gravy looked pretty standard to me, but then I've never liked that stuff. 

How many vehicles is the LORD going to have to smack away from Bro Gary before he gets the idea that maybe he should try staying in one place and working? 

Hey, God, I think you're going to have to arrange the weens into words for Gary, and hope he takes the time to sound them out before eating them. Don't forget to sign it with the gravy or he might not get it. 

[Spanger]

I think Bro Gary is probably buying/obtaining vehicles that are on the verge of giving up the ghost, and then immediately taking them on multi-state grift-a-thons, praying the LORD'S will be done.

I can totally see it though- sounds like these folks are barely slapping money together to buy the vehicles, then there's gas money for their imminent travels on top of that.  They probably don't have any $$ left to do any maintenance that would be needed to get these vehicles home, like replacing sketchy tires or brakes, or even topping off fluids, etc.

Its not even a question of whether Bro Gary and Sis Becky are capable of DOING the maintenance, or recognizing it needs to be done... If they can't afford it, they just don't bother.  LORD'S WILL.  How long would you really expect a beater to run being treated like that... 2-3 months?  Sounds like about what they get.

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

4 hours ago, keepercjr said:

3 days to get their affairs in order and drive what exactly?  They were using a borrowed vee-hickle to begin with!  And is there seriously a ministry to help other ministries with vehicles?  I doubt they are going to buy him a van.  Maybe a $1500 junker.  

Man I just can’t picture living life this way.  Or being a woman and signing right up for this.  Have some dignity and pride!

"Have 3 days to get all the things we have together and had out for the rest of the summer"

You reckon Daddy has had his limit and is tossing Gary out of the nest?

And Darlene's response to the biscuits and gravy is uh something else.   But who says "Hallelujah to the Lamb!" about that photo?    Chris Crawley, that's who!

[OhNoNike]

I agree the biscuits and gravy he posted this time are exactly what I’m familiar with, and I don’t like it either, @Alisamer.  Turns out I don’t really care for sausage taste. But it’s the kind I make at home for my husband, because he likes it.. and we aren’t in a southern state. 

I guess since it was Gary’s dad’s car, it’s his dad’s fault it died, and Gary’s dad will have to pay to fix it.  Bonus, I guess, for Gary. Eyeroll

[Candydandy]

Well folks I dont think Papa Hawkins is tosing his son out. I think the Hawking family has a summer chock full of preachin, tenting  and singin. Now if he has a single veehickle instead of a bus does that mean no tents or chairs are involved?  Is their basement home in Papa Hawkins house? Maybe he will come across a pastorship and then his family can have a stable home.

Sis Candy

Never ate biscuits and gravy

[Gimme a Free RV]

Gary, Gary, Gary...

Your FB friends can pray all they want but it won't change God's mind or His will that you are obviously oblivious to. 

He always asks his friends to pray God's will when, in reality, it's Gary's will.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, griftin' is my game.

My van will come, my wish be done

On a whim as I preach about heaven.

Give me today my weens and bread

And forgive all my debts so I won't be a debtor.

Lead me not to broken vee-hickles but deliver them from evil.

For Yours is MY kingdom, MY power(train in the broken RV), and MY glory...forever and ever...

Or until Sister Becky finally gets fed up with me.

[Snarkylark]

Ok, Folks. Seems one of Gary’s acquaintances is fed up with Gary’s prayer requests and has started a scripture war on on G-Haw’s FB Page. 

[Palimpsest]

8 minutes ago, Snarkylark said:

Ok, Folks. Seems one of Gary’s acquaintances is fed up with Gary’s prayer requests and has started a scripture war on on G-Haw’s FB Page. 

Oooh.  Bro Gary got told off for not living By Faith Alone but his prayer warriors galloped to his defense quickly.

[keepercjr]

3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Oooh.  Bro Gary got told off for not living By Faith Alone but his prayer warriors galloped to his defense quickly.

Yes cat Fight!

Spoiler

In other news Gary got a book he says he has been wanting for a while.  Anyone believe he will actually be able to read and comprehend it?  and why did it take 2 people to get him a book?  They must really be broke!

[zeebaneighba]

20 hours ago, catlady said:

Ok folks. Every time I turn around, GHaw has broken another vee-hickle.  Sure, he’s paying next to nothing for most of them, and this last one was borrowed as indicated above. So how is it that they’re *all* lemons?  Is it just me?  I can’t help but think that Bro Gary is so stupid that he could be ruining them through misuse or neglect. (i.e. does he do anything when the oil light comes on or when the temp gauge gets too high?)  plenty of people with no mechanical experience still manage to take care of their cars, but Gary has toasted as many autos in the past year as i’ve owned in the past 27 years (I think he’s had 3 breakdowns?  Feel free to correct me on that.  I’m on my third car ever, and i’m a few years older than GHaw. 

I have had ONE vehicle break down on me in 39 years of driving.  And that was a manufacturing defect.  I suspect people  are unloading shit vehicles on them.

[Jug Band Baby]

Something that pisses me off about people like him is he presumes the LORD is just sitting there with cars for Gary.  "So help us Pray the LORD will be done with the vehicles the LORD has for us."  What if the LORD doesn't have any cars for him?  I don't think he does since Gary has gotten cars from other people.

I have a massive pet peeve about people getting something from another person, then thanking GOD.  How about thanking the person who gave it to them instead?  

"I think this is totally unwarranted when you know Gary and his family. "

No, Rhoda, it's warranted.  He refuses to work and just begs and demands money from others.  He's a leach.

[MarblesMom]

Bro GHaw for 'Murica