Bro Gary Hawkins 7: Asking For Thoughts and Chairs

[MarblesMom]

Refreshed my FB and Bro G-Haw was live, so I clicked on it.  He mentioned Jesus writing parts of the Bible ... I got a screen shot of his amazing hat... or is it a black halo?

....and closed the video down.

[Alisamer]

I find it amazing that the same people who seem to think Jesus actually sat and wrote down part of the bible, also think that any translation done since Shakespearian times is invalid. Despite the fact that I'm fairly sure copies of some of the texts written closer to Jesus's time have been found since, and used in newer translations. If a scroll written in Jesus's own hand was found today, they'd probably praise God, then go on ignoring it since it isn't in the KJV!

[griffin]

God sent his only FORGOTTEN son! Aaagggh!

[Lillymuffin]

6 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I find it amazing that the same people who seem to think Jesus actually sat and wrote down part of the bible, also think that any translation done since Shakespearian times is invalid. Despite the fact that I'm fairly sure copies of some of the texts written closer to Jesus's time have been found since, and used in newer translations. If a scroll written in Jesus's own hand was found today, they'd probably praise God, then go on ignoring it since it isn't in the KJV!

But...but...the KJV’s got Jesus’ own words. They’re in red and everything!!! 

[Lisafer]

Oh my god. I watched the whole thing. When it panned over and Gary's head popped into view with the camera aimed up his nostrils, I snorted really hard through my nose and dissolved into giggles. And continued to giggle. With about 15 seconds left, my 7-year-old screamed, "STOP THAT HORRIBLE SONG!!!!!" 

I'm dead. I haven't laughed that hard all day.

[Ozlsn]

10 hours ago, griffin said:

God sent his only FORGOTTEN son! Aaagggh!

I am sitting in the hairdresser's and killing myself laughing at that. It makes it sound like God didn't bother with sending the kids he could remember having...

[Black Aliss]

11 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I find it amazing that the same people who seem to think Jesus actually sat and wrote down part of the bible, also think that any translation done since Shakespearian times is invalid. Despite the fact that I'm fairly sure copies of some of the texts written closer to Jesus's time have been found since, and used in newer translations. If a scroll written in Jesus's own hand was found today, they'd probably praise God, then go on ignoring it since it isn't in the KJV!

I am old enough to remember when these newer translations of the Bible were first published. People in my church were loving them because for once they could finally understand what was written. Except for one dogmatic older woman who declared, "If it [KJV] was good enough for the apostle James, it's good enough for me!"

[Snarkylark]

11 hours ago, griffin said:

God sent his only FORGOTTEN son! Aaagggh!

I caught that, too! Oh, Bro. 

[LovelyLuna]

Bro Luna and I have theological discussions apart from FJ.  He still has trouble remembering the differences between catholics and christians so we talk more about fun facts.  Recently we discussed fundies and their devotion to the KJV bible, and how King James was almost definitely bisexual and reportedly had relationship with men along with his wife.  Now Bro Luna's only wish is to meet a fundie and ask them if they know their bible was ‘written’, published and sponsored by a homosexual.   He is an atheist Jew who never paid attention in hebrew school.  I pity the fundie he finally meets.  

57 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

I am old enough to remember when these newer translations of the Bible were first published. People in my church were loving them because for once they could finally understand what was written. Except for one dogmatic older woman who declared, "If it [KJV] was good enough for the apostle James, it's good enough for me!"

 

[Black Aliss]

1 hour ago, LovelyLuna said:

Bro Luna and I have theological discussions apart from FJ.  He still has trouble remembering the differences between catholics and christians so we talk more about fun facts.  Recently we discussed fundies and their devotion to the KJV bible, and how King James was almost definitely bisexual and reportedly had relationship with men along with his wife.  Now Bro Luna's only wish is to meet a fundie and ask them if they know their bible was ‘written’, published and sponsored by a homosexual.   He is an atheist Jew who never paid attention in hebrew school.  I pity the fundie he finally meets.  

 

I know! It cracks me up that they don't know jack about King James and the politics that drove a shoddy translation, riddled with errors, into the English language. (In case you didn't recognize my avatar, it's the very swishy King James Himself.)

[Lillymuffin]

Please don’t stone me, but in my heart of hearts I actually like the KJV, or preferably the New KJV, both because I love the way the language sounds, and because it’s the one my church used when I was growing up. I don’t get my panties in a bunch about it, though. To each her own. 

[Gimme a Free RV]

14 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

 (In case you didn't recognize my avatar, it's the very swishy King James Himself.)

  That frilly collar King James is wearing certainly seems to be attire that pertaineth to a woman!

[Black Aliss]

2 hours ago, Lillymuffin said:

Please don’t stone me, but in my heart of hearts I actually like the KJV, or preferably the New KJV, both because I love the way the language sounds, and because it’s the one my church used when I was growing up. I don’t get my panties in a bunch about it, though. To each her own. 

It's not a matter of liking the KJV and, in any case I don't think we have a freejingerite who is without sin who could cast the first stone [John 8:7]. On the contrary, it's the insistence by fundies that the 1611 KJV is the only version that is 100% accurate and divinely inspired and whatever. I liked the language too, especially when I was a young teen, reading the more erotic passages in Solomon.  There are other translations that are equally as flowery as 1611 KJV. Whenever I'm getting ready to beat someone over the head with a scripture passage, I usually look up a number of translations--KJV, NIV, ESV. . .No, I don't own copies of all of them but http://biblehub.com is really useful for comparing translations.

[OhNoNike]

On 7/18/2018 at 4:24 PM, Lillymuffin said:

But...but...the KJV’s got Jesus’ own words. They’re in red and everything!!! 

Just wait until the KJV is on Audible.  

[LovelyLuna]

3 hours ago, Lillymuffin said:

Please don’t stone me, but in my heart of hearts I actually like the KJV, or preferably the New KJV, both because I love the way the language sounds, and because it’s the one my church used when I was growing up. I don’t get my panties in a bunch about it, though. To each her own. 

You can love whatever book you want as long as you don’t have intentions to force me to love it too.  Less vital is the understanding that it is a version of the bible, of which there are many.  I can’t promise I won’t snark on people beliefs, but I’m a live, let live type of person as long as you are not hurting others.

[FullOfGravy]

1 hour ago, OhNoNike said:

Just wait until the KJV is on Audible.  

I'm torn between wanting Maggie Smith to voice God, and knowing that no one does a booming voice worthy of the LORD like Brian Blessed.

 

4 hours ago, Lillymuffin said:

Please don’t stone me, but in my heart of hearts I actually like the KJV, or preferably the New KJV, both because I love the way the language sounds, and because it’s the one my church used when I was growing up.

I grew up in a church that used the NIV, but my family's heirloom Bible is a gorgeously illustrated KJV, and I like the language it uses too.  Ultimately, though, all versions are translations done by humans of texts written by humans and selected by other humans, all of whom had agendas of their own.  Having a preference for one version over another isn't an issue; the problem is when people insist that after it's gone through that many fallible humans, any one version is exactly what God meant to say.

[Black Aliss]

7 hours ago, FullOfGravy said:

Quote

 

Just wait until the KJV is on Audible.

I'm torn between wanting Maggie Smith to voice God, and knowing that no one does a booming voice worthy of the LORD like Brian Blessed.

 

James Earl Jones. There is no other Voice of God.

[FeministShrew]

Complete with Darth Vader sound effects! Even I would buy that.

[MarblesMom]

Everybody hiding in the hedges in Vermont, G-Haw is on his way... just a heads up.

[keepercjr]

The highways and the hedges?!  Is that fundie speak?  Or are they looking for homeless people in highway underpasses and hedges?

[FullOfGravy]

50 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

The highways and the hedges?!  Is that fundie speak?  Or are they looking for homeless people in highway underpasses and hedges?

It's a Biblical thing.  Part of a parable about a man who holds a dinner party for his rich friends, but they all skip out, so he sends his servant to invite whatever poor people he can find.  When there's still room in the house, this happens:

Quote

Luke 14:23 - And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.

So, you know, travel far and wide, and bring people to God's house.  I like that the KJV makes it sound like the servant is supposed to kidnap random people from highways and hedges  That's generally how I feel when some wandering evangelist manages to corner me and starts preaching, and how I imagine Kimmy of JRod-at-Taco-Bell fame felt.

[Lillymuffin]

22 hours ago, LovelyLuna said:

You can love whatever book you want as long as you don’t have intentions to force me to love it too.  Less vital is the understanding that it is a version of the bible, of which there are many.  I can’t promise I won’t snark on people beliefs, but I’m a live, let live type of person as long as you are not hurting others.

Nope, AFAIC, you do you. We’re all big readers in my family, so I grew up w/ all sorts of books, including multiple translations of the Bible. I’m not even sure how much of the Bible I believe is accurate,  and how much is allegory. I mean, it was written thousands of years ago, first in oral tradition, and translated how many times? It’s like the world’s oldest game of “telephone.” 

Honestly, now that I think about it, my fondness for the KJV probably has more to do with my love for the Charlie Brown Christmas special than anything else. When Linus steps into the stage and says, “Lights, please,” I tear up a little every time. (Oh, well. Don’t tell my mother. At least it’s still religious.) 

[keepercjr]

3 hours ago, FullOfGravy said:

It's a Biblical thing.  Part of a parable about a man who holds a dinner party for his rich friends, but they all skip out, so he sends his servant to invite whatever poor people he can find.  When there's still room in the house, this happens:

So, you know, travel far and wide, and bring people to God's house.  I like that the KJV makes it sound like the servant is supposed to kidnap random people from highways and hedges  That's generally how I feel when some wandering evangelist manages to corner me and starts preaching, and how I imagine Kimmy of JRod-at-Taco-Bell fame felt.

Thank you @FullOfGravy!  I know next to nothing about specific passages in the bible

[Dandruff]

I think the average IQ in Vermont just dropped a few points.

[AliceInFundyland]

5 hours ago, Lillymuffin said:

Nope, AFAIC, you do you. We’re all big readers in my family, so I grew up w/ all sorts of books, including multiple translations of the Bible. I’m not even sure how much of the Bible I believe is accurate,  and how much is allegory. I mean, it was written thousands of years ago, first in oral tradition, and translated how many times? It’s like the world’s oldest game of “telephone.” 

Honestly, now that I think about it, my fondness for the KJV probably has more to do with my love for the Charlie Brown Christmas special than anything else. When Linus steps into the stage and says, “Lights, please,” I tear up a little every time. (Oh, well. Don’t tell my mother. At least it’s still religious.) 

When they start singing is when I lose my stuff.