Lori Alexander 47: Frugal ... Sort of ... For a rich person

[Curious]

15 minutes ago, EowynW said:

@Curious oh landscape! I've knit a hat with it and a shawl and both turned out beautifully. I love their colors. And how soft it is. 

I loved the way it worked up.  I'm a super lazy crocheter.  I generally user variegated because I hate having to switch out yarn and haven't those stupid tails to tuck in at the end.   It feels really different than most yarn I've used before.

I've never made a shawl before, but I've been thinking about making one for myself.

Have you seen the "It's a wrap" yarn?  It's more like thread, IMO, but the colors are beautiful.  It's like $12 a skein though and I hate the thought of buying a skein that expensive and finding out I can't work with it.   I might wait until I have a 50% off coupon and buy a skein to try out.

I need to look for shawl patterns.  That cupcake yarn I just got a bunch of would be pretty for a shawl I bet.

Here is the hat from the landscapes:

and he took the pic on the side where the seam is showing  

[Imrlgoddess]

I can crochet a really fabulous long straight line! 

I did teach myself to knit so I could help my daughter learn but the carpal tunnel remedied that.  I hope once my hands are fixed I can try again!

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

I agree. Suicide is not an unpardonable sin.  I lost a cousin to suicide.  His mom shipped him off to military school and pretty much didn't want to be bothered with him. Then, she disappeared completely when he was 16. My grandma took him in for a while, but she was really too old to take care of him.  

He started acting out and getting in trouble. All he wanted was his mother. Eventually, he found his birth father, who denied he was his child and wanted nothing to do with him.

The years and years of hurt became too much...

I've always looked at suicide as dying from an illness, not a sin. 

I agree it's not a sin, but is it really an illness? That means, in your cousin's case, the illness is responsible for his death, and not his cruel parents. IMO, his body didn't fail him, his environment did. 

I'm very sorry about his death, either way.

[ladyicantxplain]

19 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I agree it's not a sin, but is it really an illness? That means, in your cousin's case, the illness is responsible for his death, and not his cruel parents. IMO, his body didn't fail him, his environment did. 

I'm very sorry about his death, either way.

I, too, am very sorry for the loss of your cousin.   When I read the account earlier, it saddened me so much.  My mother attempted suicide several times and thankfully never succeeded, and is living a beautiful life today.

Thinking about this in terms of illness versus environment, I like to think that an environment can CREATE kind of a soul-illness, if you will.  So, if a person lives in a toxic environment, the illness isn't physical, but it becomes a sickness of the soul (mind, etc.).    I think the soul sickness can be arrested and the person CAN live, but someone must care enough to do the work with this person of soul restoration.

I think I agree with suicide as illness.

[AliceInFundyland]

@Hisey Yes, it’s an illness. When you are suicidally depressed your brain is fucking sick. There’s a black fog that clouds all rational judgment but you think you have solved it. You think that everyone you know will be better off without you. You make plans to execute it in a way that will simplify their lives. Or not. Sometimes it’s too overwhelming and people just go. Either way the brain is not functioning in a healthy way. 

[feministxtian]

8 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

@Hisey Yes, it’s an illness. When you are suicidally depressed your brain is fucking sick. There’s a black fog that clouds all rational judgment but you think you have solved it. You think that everyone you know will be better off without you. You make plans to execute it in a way that will simplify their lives. Or not. Sometimes it’s too overwhelming and people just go. Either way the brain is not functioning in a healthy way. 

THIS! The black fog that sucks anything rational right out of you. I am mentally ill because my brain is sick. 

The first time I saw this psychiatrist (who I adore), I went through my history. His response to me was beautiful. He told me that anyone who had dealt with what I have and come out on the other side, even suicideally (sp) depressed was STRONG. Who had lived through all the shit and stress was STRONG. I basically burned out all those happy brain chemicals coping with shit and my brain just can't make enough anymore to keep me mentally healthy. 

I have no shame admitting to being diagnosed with an alphabet soup of mental illnesses, MDD, GAD, ADHD, ASD, and so on...but the fact that I'm alive and was rational enough to seek help tells me I am strong. 

I see my taking my meds just like how my husband needs to have insulin to live. If I want to live, I have to take certain medications. 

And to all you wonderful folks whom I've come to love...if I ever talk about going off them...smack me upside the head repeatedly until the rocks rearrange back into some rational order. 

[Sarah92]

Soooo I have to deal with the topic of suicide on a pretty regular basis. When I was in classes one of the 1st things my professors emphasized to us was that asking someone if they were suicidal wasn't going to make them suicidal. So I doubt a pastor  saying it's not the ultimate sin (it isn't anyways since it's not in scripture) isn't gonna just make people want to do it. I hope I conveyed that point correctly because I'm not positive how to word it. 

I've heard people describe suicide attempts or plans with such a coldness that it would send chills running down your spine. They've gone beyond pain to the point of numbness. However, most think about suicide when the weight of their depression is so great and unbearable that death seems like a relief. Of course that's not everyone's experience but from those I've talked to this is common. Compassion and love are my go to approach. People are already in pain why would I heap more on them by saying its sinful? When people feel like no one else would care I want them to know that I would mourn them because I care. 

Edit: Noticed people talking about mental illness being like a sickness and I have to agree. In my trauma class we learned the saying "neurons that fire together wire together" meaning thoughts and experiences connect together in the brain and kinda create a deer path if you will. The more a person experienced the event and feeling the more prominent the path and the harder it is to let it over grow. So down the road even if a person isn't in a traumatic situation anymore the brain notices some type of similarity to previous experiences and all of a sudden those feelings come out again because it (the neuron) went zipping down that path. The brain is being an asshole and doing it without permission. Our brain is kinda a jerk. 

 

[fluffy]

5 hours ago, Koala said:

I have heard of a chat room...I believe there's an application, and I'm certain you'd fit right in...

 

I welcome everyone into the chatroom and especially Krissy (if she's not already in there). Then she can see how Lori deletes comments by LONGTIME members and friends, argues with abused women that they committed grievious sins by divorcing their violent husbands, and urges husbands to DISCIPLINE their wives & reminds us little ladies not to put up a fuss if our husband does. 

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

3 hours ago, Briefly said:

I don't think it is actually mentioned in the Bible, but I have heard it described as being the one sin that we can't repent for because we're unable to repent if we are dead.  I think that might have been from a Jewish friend but I'm not sure if that was an actual belief of just her opinion.

This is what I was taught (Catholic) and was told it was why suicides were not allowed a Catholic burial, becausw they may not have repented between their action and death and so died in a state of mortal sin.  And that Judas's worst sin was killing himself. By the time I was grown I was told the church teaching had "evolved" and we shoudn't discount God's mercy, but there is handwaving or silence if you ask about all the people denied a Catholic burial in the past, or the pain of their families.

I've been suicidal many times and struggle with depression.  That black cloud others spoke of is all too familiar no matter how hard I fight it.  I don't know if it would be different if I had had a different life, or if it is just my brain chemistry (do people like Krissy not think that the brain, a physical organ like any other, can get sick and malfunction?). I have a cousin that completed suicide as a young man.  Years earlier his mother, my favorite aunt, had died in sudden and tragic circumstances that could be viewed as suicide though she had time to "change her mind" and express a desire to live.  She left 5 children but was closest with her oldest son.  He did not outwardly appear to be suicidal or even depressed by all accounts.  He kissed his fiancee goodbye one morning, went to work, and shot himself.  He left a note but my uncle wouldn't share it with anyone.  

I don't rightly know what I believe about God anymore or if I believe at all, but I know I wouldn't worship a God that condemned that poor boy to hell.  I'd burn first.

@feministxtian I like how you speak about God.  I wish I could feel the same way.

[feministxtian]

9 minutes ago, IntrinsicallyDisordered said:

I've been suicidal many times and struggle with depression.  That black cloud others spoke of is all too familiar no matter how hard I fight it.  I don't know if it would be different if I had had a different life, or if it is just my brain chemistry

PLEASE...reach out when you're struggling...PLEASE! I promise I'll be here. Know you are loved by someone you've never really "met"...

I too was raised Catholic and fed all that shit about mortal/venial sin. Once I left the RCC and kicked around other churches, I learned of God's incredible love, grace and mercy...that He loves us all so much. I also learned why he sent his son to die for us...it comes from the animal sacrifices of the old testament and the idea of an eye for an eye or a life for a life. Jesus on the cross took upon himself all our sins, past, present and future...he cried out "my God why have you forsaken me"...he felt the separation from his Father for the sins he took upon himself. When he said "it is finished" he was speaking about the sin sacrifices that were made in the temple. 

There's a whole lot more to that, I'll spare y'all...but if anyone wants to talk, please, DM me...

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

6 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

PLEASE...reach out when you're struggling...PLEASE! I promise I'll be here. Know you are loved by someone you've never really "met"...

I too was raised Catholic and fed all that shit about mortal/venial sin. Once I left the RCC and kicked around other churches, I learned of God's incredible love, grace and mercy...that He loves us all so much. I also learned why he sent his son to die for us...it comes from the animal sacrifices of the old testament and the idea of an eye for an eye or a life for a life. Jesus on the cross took upon himself all our sins, past, present and future...he cried out "my God why have you forsaken me"...he felt the separation from his Father for the sins he took upon himself. When he said "it is finished" he was speaking about the sin sacrifices that were made in the temple. 

There's a whole lot more to that, I'll spare y'all...but if anyone wants to talk, please, DM me...

Thank you

[ladyicantxplain]

59 minutes ago, fluffy said:

I welcome everyone into the chatroom and especially Krissy (if she's not already in there). Then she can see how Lori deletes comments by LONGTIME members and friends, argues with abused women that they committed grievious sins by divorcing their violent husbands, and urges husbands to DISCIPLINE their wives & reminds us little ladies not to put up a fuss if our husband does. 

That "discipline" post...Not even gonna' go there.

When I was  in The Chat Room, I  began prior to The Application, so I was grandfathered in without ever having to actually have to lie and try and agree with said application.  I could never agree to that today, even in part.  

The Application is truly absurd.

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

I didn't grow up with the idea that suicide is the ultimate or unforgiveable sin. That never once had any bearing on my thinking the 4 or 5 times in my life that I was seriously suicidal. Knowing that God really loves me helped in some ways, but by itself it wasn't enough to keep me alive, or help me start to get better. It took loving people in my life who cared for me and helped me get counseling, therapy, etc. If we're supposed to be God's hand and feet in this world, they were acting on His behalf. I am so thankful that I had people like that in my life, instead of people who delete a suicide hotline number, or believe that condemning me would somehow help. (And thank you for your frequent offers to listen, @feministxtian. I keep your offer in mind if I ever end up in that mindset again.  )

On a lighter note:

2 hours ago, Curious said:

I thought about buying a grab bag type box once, but I realized I would probably never actually use it and having a box of pretty (and expensive) yarn that I just look at is silly.

I have several hanks of llama or alpaca wool yarn that my mother-in-law brought me as a souvenir about 15 years ago. (She checked at the shop she bought it in that it was enough for a sweater.) I have been knitting for 17 years now, but I've never knitted a sweater.  When I come across the yarn in my stash (in plastic zipper bags with cedar blocks), I kind of sigh, and feel silly for never using it. I'm comfortable with knitting acrylic, cotton, ordinary sheep's wool, and even some annoying novelty yarns, but I'm almost scared to use that yarn, because I can't just go buy more if I mess up. 

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

(And thank you for your frequent offers to listen, @feministxtian. I keep your offer in mind if I ever end up in that mindset again.  )

Know that you too are loved! 

You ALL have been my lifeline so many times...

I firmly believe that, as a Christian, my job is to be the eyes, ears, hands, feet and heart of Christ in the world. I try...

[SuperNova]

We're feeling the love tonight! I guess we owe krissy a thank you for opening the door on a topic that can be hard to talk about. Turns out she's not completely useless. @feministxtian as always, I really love your straightforward honesty and love for your fellow (wo)man. When I was at my darkest, I wish I had you to tell me the things that you're saying tonight. To those of you struggling, listen to our good friend @feministxtian and know that you are loved. 

[Joyce]

I was thrown out of the chat room because I wrote about Lori deleting the suicide hotline. My mother was removed from the chat room after she commented that she had a college degree and worked in the military for more than 20 years. My mother was proud to say that she had three children (two boys, one girl) with college degrees and were professionals (doctor, lawyer, historian).

[feministxtian]

24 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

When I was at my darkest, I wish I had you to tell me the things that you're saying tonight

In the name of all that's holy...if it gets dark...reach out...please. 

[KnittingOwl]

3 hours ago, Curious said:

I used to follow a woman that has her own sheep and alpacas and she has her yarn for sale sometimes.  It's beautiful, but at this point in my life, I'm happy with my commercial acrylic yarn which is infinitely cheaper.   I totally get why handspun/dyed yarn is so expensive and don't begrudge anyone that can afford that and I think it's absolutely justifiable to charge more for that type of yarn.

I thought about buying a grab bag type box once, but I realized I would probably never actually use it and having a box of pretty (and expensive) yarn that I just look at is silly.

I have a bad habit of throwing away the wrappers so I had to search around to find this.  This is what is says about the yarn:

The above is the color I got.  I see it's got no wool in it @Briefly so you could try it if you were so inclined.  I'll try to get my husband to take a picture of the hat I made before he goes to bed.

That's really pretty!  I'd love to see what it looks like once you use it. Acrylics are a lot different now than they used to be.  I just bought a bunch of Berroco Vintage (acrylic/wool/nylon blend) for a vest.  Adding it to the ever-growing list.  I'm looking forward to starting something new - right after I finish these socks.  They're knit on a 2.75 mm needle (equivalent of a C hook) and my hands are not super happy about it.

3 hours ago, EowynW said:

@Curious oh landscape! I've knit a hat with it and a shawl and both turned out beautifully. I love their colors. And how soft it is. 

I have a drop spindle too & an Ashford Kiwi double treadle. 

The Kiwis are so cute!!  

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

This is timely - The Guardian has a pretty good article about depression up today: https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jun/04/what-is-depression-and-why-is-it-rising

My depression came on after years of physical illness, childhood abuse, and living in a very stressful situation - but it's gotten worse since I have been in a safe place.  I think because I can afford to process things now.  In Alan Cumming's autobiography he talks about locking everything away in a box in his head and having a complete breakdown when he was finally in a good place in his life.  I had to put the book away for a bit after that, it resonated so strongly with me.  My husband's depression started after work related burnout and a lifetime of undiagnosed high-functioning autism and the stress being different had caused him.  He's currently on medication, I am not, though I have been in the past.  We both need a therapist.

[polecat]

8 hours ago, Curious said:

I loved the way it worked up.  I'm a super lazy crocheter.  I generally user variegated because I hate having to switch out yarn and haven't those stupid tails to tuck in at the end.   It feels really different than most yarn I've used before.

I've never made a shawl before, but I've been thinking about making one for myself.

Have you seen the "It's a wrap" yarn?  It's more like thread, IMO, but the colors are beautiful.  It's like $12 a skein though and I hate the thought of buying a skein that expensive and finding out I can't work with it.   I might wait until I have a 50% off coupon and buy a skein to try out.

I need to look for shawl patterns.  That cupcake yarn I just got a bunch of would be pretty for a shawl I bet.

Here is the hat from the landscapes:

and he took the pic on the side where the seam is showing  

I love it! 

I've used "Shawl in a Ball" a couple times -- both the yarn and the patterns -- and really like the way they work up. 

Spoiler

 

 

[Alisamer]

I love the color of Landscapes yarn, but I've had issues with it tangling up in the past. Right now I'm mostly using fingering-weight sock yarn, some Kroy and other big-box-store brands, and a few nicer ones from Etsy and others. I got some pretty lavender sparkly sock yarn from Knitcrate a couple months ago, I need to make something with it. I think Landscapes isn't so much "roving" as it is a "single" - it's lightly twisted but not plied. So looking for similar things, if roving isn't finding it, try single or single ply! I love the look of singles, but I hear they pill like nobodies business, in knitting at least.

On depression, I really think my terrible financial skills have added to it, but also kept me alive - there were a few times I was brainstorming how to off myself but decided I couldn't, because I'd leave my family with debt to deal with and I couldn't do that to them. It was at that point that I started taking St. John's Wort, as I'd been to the doctor and gotten the "Yeah, you have all the symptoms of depression, but I don't think we need to treat that. Exercise more" answer. The next time I went I told them I had been suicidal, and finally got some HELP. The meds did help - a little. We just upped the dose a few weeks ago, and this weekend I got my act together enough to actually do my nails! It's the little things you haven't noticed went away, I find, that are the first to come back for me. I had forgotten I used to hum and sing all day, until I got on meds and started doing that again. 

I'm getting excited about working on projects again, but I need to dig my house out from the heap it's become. This morning I remembered to take my new plant to work, took out the trash and recycling bins, stopped and got food for lunch, AND got to work just on time. That's a HUGE success for me, usually I just barely drag myself out of bed to get to work anywhere close to on time. 

Brains can get their chemistry out of whack just like other body organs can. I don't get why some people don't seem to understand that.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Her post today is about disciplining wives again. She says she wasn't going to write about it because it can be controversial but then realized this topic doesn't bother her, so why not!

Look at these comments. All Lori says is I wrote about that in the post. In the post she said women are to win husbands over without a word, so that apparently is what you do with an overspending husband. Meanwhile, a husband gets to discipline. She has to sit their and be quiet while he gets to take action. 

 

[SilverBeach]

9 hours ago, fluffy said:

I welcome everyone into the chatroom and especially Krissy (if she's not already in there). Then she can see how Lori deletes comments by LONGTIME members and friends, argues with abused women that they committed grievious sins by divorcing their violent husbands, and urges husbands to DISCIPLINE their wives & reminds us little ladies not to put up a fuss if our husband does. 

Lori is the biggest damn Pharisee ever. I'm not a fucking child to be disciplined. And allowing people to abuse you doesn't win them over to anything, it just allows the abuse to escalate. Oh, that's right, she doesn't believe in boundaries either, nosy-ass intrusive busybody. Lori Alexander is truly a vile human being.  she should just go on and admit that she and Ken are a little freaky-deaky. 

[dairyfreelife]

6 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Lori is the biggest damn Pharisee ever. I'm not a fucking child to be disciplined. And allowing people to abuse you doesn't win them over to anything, it just allows the abuse to escalate. Oh, that's right, she doesn't believe in boundaries either, nosy-ass intrusive busybody. Lori Alexander is truly a vile human being.  she should just go on and admit that she and Ken are a little freaky-deaky. 

Oh, and I don't believe for a moment that if Ken ever tried to "discipline" her, she would be out the door right then and there. She would never put up with it, guaranteed. Again she's telling people to do things that we know she herself would never do or put up with. 

[Koala]

Lori says:

Quote

I have hesitated writing about this again because it brings up so much controversy but then I reminded myself that this has never bothered me before. 

Proverbs 6: 16-19

These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Yes, Lori.  You're 100% right.  Sowing discord among the brethren has never bothered you before.  That's why you freely trash your church/church family on social media.  It's also why it's "not unusual" for you to "pay some money" to have your "more controversial" posts boosted.  You enjoy stirring things up and watching the fall out.