Lori Alexander 47: Frugal ... Sort of ... For a rich person

[Koala]

Lori- Before you set out to teach others to suffer in silence, it's probably better to learn yourself.  

We have endured COUNTLESS posts about your suffering, your pain, and your illness.  You do health updates regularly (even as your mother is terminally ill), and you work your "suffering" into almost every conversation you engage in.

 When you're family members have a big event, you're always right there to be the center of attention, with your "sos emails" for prayer.  But prayer is not what you are really seeking.  Attention is the real prize.  

Let's face it- if you were given to "suffering in silence", the internet wouldn't have a blow by blow account of every sniffle you've ever had.  But we do know.  Because you've told us.  Over and over again.  

And it's not just illness you complain about.  We've been treated to endless posts about your negative book reviews (so many that I've literally lost count).  Sure, you're quick to remind us that "you don't care one little bit", but the never ending stream of posts on the topic, and the outright begs for 5 star reviews kind of gives you away.

Then there's the "haters".  How many posts have there been about people who hate your blog?  Many.  Many, many, many- with frequent reminders that to disagree with you is to hate God and his "ways".  

In conclusion, you can't teach what you don't know, and this is something you clearly know NOTHING about.

[ladyicantxplain]

Oh, the "suffering" and the "wife discipline" in the same DAY, even!

Good mercy of God.

But let's all "baby" our husbands and make sure we hover over THEM, because they are little infants who need a "help meet" that eliminates ALL SUFFERING from their lives.

This is such crap.

Over and again I tried to tell this woman that God's will is NEVER that anyone suffer (what kind of Father WANTS suffering children?!?)

Over and again she writes this crap.

Maybe she will read the bible that tells her that as a Christian, it is her JOB and MANDATE to ELIMINATE suffering...not just suffering in the life of the "head"...

[AuntKrazy]

16 hours ago, Krissy said:

So we hate Lori because she oppress women, doesn’t let them speak their opinions (she deletes them), puts tons of women down, makes them feel like she knows everything even if another has a valuable thought, am I getting everything? 

I don't hate Lori.  I pray for her daily.

I do, however, call her a false teacher who is trying to lead others astray.  Her doctrine lies outside the bounds of nearly all Christianity (esp. with regard to women being created in the Imago Dei), and her practical teachings are dangerous.  (i.e. no mammograms, no vaccines, no mental health meds, no psychology for depression, only prayer), and her personal treatment of those who are self-identify as in crisis is callous and cold:  (deleting a suicide help line, repeated passive-aggressive attacks at her daughter for being infertile, telling people to hit their baby harder because it's crying).

As long as Lori is spewing these things on the internet, myself and others here will be around and critiquing the problems.  Because we do not want her followers to come to harm.  (and for me, personally, I hope that her followers find their way out and away from Lori's cult.)

[Joyce]

Lori's Instagram post is dangerous. Children who suffer in silence even when something is painful may be at risk for disease. Lori did not suffer in silence when she had an illness.

The blog post teaches men, and Lori said that she does not teach men.

[Koala]

I don't know how to break it to anonymous, but she has just successfully described a parent/child relationship.

Parents set rules because they love their children and have their best interest at heart.  They know that their child's brain is not fully developed and they are not yet capable of self governing.  

That said, those rules are slowly removed as the child ages and begins to display self control/good decision making.  Then one day they're grown and you've worked your way out of a job.  They are adults, and they no longer need you to tell them what's in their best interest- they know.  

If this woman doesn't have the self discipline to behave like a responsible adult, then she shouldn't be married/parenting.  She's merely a child in an adult body.

She married a father, not a husband.

[SilverBeach]

9 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

I pray for her daily.

Maybe I should but I don't. If anything, I would pray for her victims. It's like the folks at my church imploring us to pray for Dumpy. Nope. I pray for the rest of us living this nightmare. Fluck Lori and her visions of Gilead.

[polecat]

From the comments of today's post:

Quote

My husband enforces rules for me all the time. He has made it clear that I’m not to take personal phonecalls or text/email during homeschooling hours, because he knows how distracted I can get.

Fundamentalism infantilizes women.

If she can't or won't control herself long enough to educate her children, how is she going to teach her kids to be self-disciplined?

 

 

[ladyicantxplain]

Anonymous has no understanding of the marital relationship because patriarchy has perverted it in her mind.  Women who enjoy this infantile relationship in marriage have no ability to take responsibility for their own lives.  I know.  I used to be one of them, until the "authority and protection" my husband provided turned into domination/control and abuse.

No adult woman should "enjoy" being completely irresponsible.

 

1 minute ago, polecat said:

From the comments of today's post:

Fundamentalism infantilizes women.

If she can't or won't control herself long enough to educate her children, how is she going to teach her kids to be self-disciplined?

 

 

I think Fundamentalism infantilizes men as well.

We have women who think they cannot think, because they are "more easily deceived" than their man; we have men who think they cannot pick up a sock off the floor or make a sandwich.

It's complete perversion of the marriage relationship for both spouses as far as I'm concerned.

[nelliebelle1197]

14 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

I think Fundamentalism infantilizes men as well.

We have women who think they cannot think, because they are "more easily deceived" than their man; we have men who think they cannot pick up a sock off the floor or make a sandwich.

It's complete perversion of the marriage relationship for both spouses as far as I'm concerned.

This is super interesting and deserves some pondering.

[Koala]

Okay, so I tend to think Lori posts the things she posts based on what's going on her her life/the life of her family at any given time.
 

@fluffy has shared the following screenshots with us all within a week span:

So here's the question- what's got Lori so interested in spousal abuse/"good" spouses who only hit once?  This isn't coming out of nowhere.  What's prompting it?  Has she lost it, and hit Ken again?  Is someone close to her being abused, and she's trying to convince them to stay??

"Sure he hit you, *nods head stupidly* but even good husbands hit their wives when they're frustrated.  That doesn't make them abusers!"  <---That's her message.  The question is, who is it for?

In July 2013, Lori wrote the following:

Quote

Men don't like to always use words to solve everything

No.  Abusers like to hit.  And wives can be abusers too- even Lori.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/07/when-words-wont-resolve-arguments.html

[AuntKrazy]

10 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Maybe I should but I don't. If anything, I would pray for her victims. It's like the folks at my church imploring us to pray for Dumpy. Nope. I pray for the rest of us living this nightmare. Fluck Lori and her visions of Gilead.

It's something I took on earlier this year.  My anger @ Lori is so strong, that I became convicted while reading the sermon on the mount - that I view Lori as an enemy; and so I now pray for her because I have become convinced that she is an enemy of Jesus.

Now, my prayers don't always look or sound very nice or pious.  I confess that my prayers for Lori usually begin with asking God to intervene and take Lori out . . . 

[formergothardite]

Suffering in silence? Isn't Lori the one who bitched when no one read her mind and provided the soup she wanted when she wasn't feeling well? 

[Koala]

And just as a side note- THESE images should be what people see on her book reviews.  The images of her saying a "good husband" can hit his wife if he's frustrated, and still not be an abuser.  The images of her saying she hit Ken.  THIS is the danger of her "ministry".  Her short short and low cut tops are hypocritical and funny-these are just outright dangerous.

3 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Suffering in silence? Isn't Lori the one who bitched when no one read her mind and provided the soup she wanted when she wasn't feeling well? 

Oh, yes.  

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/05/having-pity-party.html

[formergothardite]

I see Lori being more of a hitter than Ken. 

[HoneyBunny]

Y’all are MUCH better people than I am. 

I don’t easily hate, but there are four people where I allow myself to: Donald Trump, Michael Pearl, my brother who choked me and slammed my head into a wall when I was 50, and Lori Alexander. 

I don’t feel one bit bad about hating them, either. In fact, I’m quite sure they’re on God’s shit list too. 

[ladyicantxplain]

6 minutes ago, Koala said:

So here's the question- what's got Lori so interested in spousal abuse/"good" spouses who only hit once?  This isn't coming out of nowhere.  What's prompting it?  Has she lost it, and hit Ken again?  Is someone close to her being abused, and she's trying to convince them to stay??

"Sure he hit you, *nods head stupidly* but even good husbands hit their wives when they're frustrated.  That doesn't make them abusers!"  <---That's her message.  The question is, who is it for?

 

At least part of it is that she is hemorrhaging women from The Chat Room who've had enough, and I believe she is trying to make a statement and retain followers.

[Hisey]

5 minutes ago, Koala said:

Okay, so I tend to think Lori posts the things she posts based on what's going on her her life/the life of her family at any given time.
 

@fluffy has shared the following screenshots with us all within a week span:

So here's the question- what's got Lori so interested in spousal abuse/"good" spouses who only hit once?  This isn't coming out of nowhere.  What's prompting it?  Has she lost it, and hit Ken again?  Is someone close to her being abused, and she's trying to convince them to stay??

"Sure he hit you, *nods head stupidly* but even good husbands hit their wives when they're frustrated.  That doesn't make them abusers!"  <---That's her message.  The question is, who is it for?

In July 2013, Lori wrote the following:

No.  Abusers like to hit.  And wives can be abusers too- even Lori.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/07/when-words-wont-resolve-arguments.html

Oh, I see. *Extremely* abused is bad, regular abuse is not so bad, stop kvetching. One hit is OK (Lori's done it herself), verbal abuse is OK, sexual abuse isn't real in marriage. . .but if it's extreme abuse that's wrong. She doesn't define extreme abuse, though, which makes it easier to shove everything into the "non-extreme" category.

If your toddler hits you in a developmentally-appropriate display of frustration due to his limited verbal skills. . . well, then you need to hit him for four hours with a leather strap. He's in rebellion! He has an evil nature which must be stomped out!

But when the toddler grows up, gains 200 pounds and has testosterone "running through is veins". . . then it is ok for him to hit (but not "extremely"!), because men don't like to use words.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

4 minutes ago, Koala said:

And just as a side note- THESE images should be what people see on her book reviews.  The images of her saying a "good husband" can hit his wife if he's frustrated, and still not be an abuser.  The images of her saying she hit Ken.  THIS is the danger of her "ministry".  Her short short and low cut tops are hypocritical and funny-these are just outright dangerous.

Oh, yes.  

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/05/having-pity-party.html

Favor!

Can someone who has a review currently posted, go back and add those screenshots?

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Oh, yes.  

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/05/having-pity-party.html

If @Krissy is still reading here I hope she realizes this is another example of Lori not practicing what she preaches and therefore she isn't teaching what she views is biblical commandments, she is teaching what makes her feel better. 

[ladyicantxplain]

@formergothardite, I wasn't going to read that link, because I thought I'd read about the potatoes prior, but I clicked it anyway and read.

Thank you for sharing it, @Koala, because today I've had an epiphany concerning Lori's theology: it appears she thinks God is some kind of control freak.

God is not "IN CONTROL".  

I DESPISE THIS TEACHING.  

It makes people HATE God.

For example, if God is "IN CONTROL" of everything in the world at this moment, it appears He's doing a really shitty job: there are wars and bloodshed, abuse of all kinds, orphans, widows, poverty, sickness...

Not really sure I wanna' serve Someone Who is "IN CONTROL" of all this...horrible stuff.

Absolutely sure I don't wanna' serve Someone Who wants me to just sit in pain.

God is not Who she thinks He is and it has never been more evident to me than it is at this moment.

[polecat]

1 hour ago, ladyicantxplain said:

I think Fundamentalism infantilizes men as well.

We have women who think they cannot think, because they are "more easily deceived" than their man; we have men who think they cannot pick up a sock off the floor or make a sandwich.

It's complete perversion of the marriage relationship for both spouses as far as I'm concerned.

2

I'd argue that our culture at large does that to a degree, but you're right in that fundamentalism certain magnifies and makes it an art form. I read a great article not long ago about male incompetence/misogyny that breaks some of that "can't pick up a sock" behavior down pretty well:

Quote

 

Is (male incompetence) a result of being de-skilled as a child by overbearing mothers? Or is it a conscious choice not to hone ‘worthless’ skills because they know someone else will do it for them?

I’m inclined to think it’s the latter. Plenty of people are raised in boarding schools or by all-encompassing parents and have the gumption to learn to cook or at least Google how to throw a simple meal together (porridge is literally oats and milk or water – how hard can it be?). But those who choose to remain ignorant and then ask their girlfriends, wives, partners to do it for them are participating in a very subtle form of misogyny that burdens women with low-level emotional labour.

 

1

 

 

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

Suffering in silence? Isn't Lori the one who bitched when no one read her mind and provided the soup she wanted when she wasn't feeling well? 

POTATOES!!!!!!!!

[Koala]

17 minutes ago, polecat said:

POTATOES!!!!!!!!

This was the part of that post that really revealed who Lori is:

Quote

 I almost lost it.  I did shed a few tears.  I wanted to text her, "Where are the potatoes???"  Make her feel bad, you know.

Her daughter shopped for the ingredients and then made a soup for her.  And Lori?  Lori wanted to, "make her feel bad, you know." 

She says that as though a normal person would be able to easily relate to wanting to make their child "feel bad" after they've gone to a good bit of trouble for them.   

That's her game- she WANTS people to feel bad.

I think of the four, Cassi is Lori's main target.  She's admitted that she could easily control Cassi, and referred to her as a "pleaser".  

When Cassi moved away, Lori wrote a post that I am convinced was written to make Cassi feel guilty.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/07/shes-flying-coop.html

She writes-

Quote

She wants to experience something new.  She has lovingly cared for me the past five years through all of my health problems. 

Immediately, Lori turned a post about Cassi into a post about HER and HER health problems.

Quote

How can you not help but love someone that has served you selflessly for years without complaining? 

How could Lori not love her?  She's been a great live in servant! 

Quote

My health is still not very good.  I still struggle daily trying to figure out how to get well but I know the Lord will take care of me.  

"Sure, dear.  Go "experience something new".  Don't worry about me.  I'm very sick, and used to you waiting on me, but I'll be okay...Jesus will take care of me....I hope."

Same when Cassi got married.  Rehearsal dinner?  Lori made it very clear that she was too sick to help.  Wedding?  Poor Lori had to send out an s.o.s to let guests know to pray for her, or she might not come to the wedding at all.  And now?  Cassi is in the chat room.  Raising two kids (without all her ducks in a row, as Lori put it), and learning from Lori.  God forbid.

[FundieCentral]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

But those who choose to remain ignorant and then ask their girlfriends, wives, partners to do it for them are participating in a very subtle form of misogyny that burdens women with low-level emotional labour.

That’s not emotional labour, that’s what I call labour  

[feministxtian]

If my husband tried to "discipline" me...there'd be a war like no war you've ever seen before. He wouldn't know what hit him...verbally. 

We've had a "discussion" this morning...both of us are getting a bit impatient about the whole job thing...so he started with "you need to call them and find out what's going on"...yeah, well, that's not how it works. One place is still negotiating $$ with the staffing firm and the other is checking my references today. I told him to sit down and shut up and knock it the fuck off because he was making me crazy. 

Didn't Ken say something about "putting the wife up against the wall"? That wouldn't work with me...he'd be looking for his teeth and balls. I don't take kindly to anyone putting hands on me...unless of course its for a hug...then you can put your hands on me all you want...and I hug back. 

[SilverBeach]

4 minutes ago, Koala said:

If this woman doesn't have the self discipline to behave like a responsible adult, then she shouldn't be married/parenting.  She's merely a child in an adult body.

She married a father, not a husband.

Yeah, I find this model of marriage very unappealing. To each her own, I suppose. I wonder if there is a big age difference.