Lori Alexander 45: Sensoring and Sensibility

[Sarah92]

Three kids is about the average in my entire family. But my family all value children, they just know what they can and can't handle. Another baby after my little sister would have probably had consequences for my mom. And I much prefer to have her around than dead from trying to have another baby. Does Lori not get that? Some of these women are risking their health and livelihoods to have more kids then they can handle. And for what reason? To potentially leave their other children without a mother? I simply can't stand it. Heck from what I know about momma dogs you aren't supposed to breed them too much. 

[saintmom]

I died a little inside at the whole notion of gathering and examining "spermies", what is she, 8? 

And furthermore, when I had my child I did not "give him to strangers to raise" (on one of her other stupid posts about working women), he was with his grandparents on BOTH sides while I was on shift, was at home with his father when I worked nights, and days off he was with the three of us.  Shockingly, he's grown up to be a fine young man who appreciates time with his aging grandparents and loves his family.  He does not suffer from abandonment issues, and we are unbelieveably proud of who he is becoming.  So suck it, Lori.

 

[Koala]

I have news for Lori- I don't give a tinker's damn what she thinks of my reproductive choices.

My doctor told us in no uncertain terms that pregnancy was wearing on my body.  I opted for a tubal ligation, and scheduled it for 6 weeks after my daughter was born.  

My husband (bless him) said that 4 pregnancies and two births was enough for any one person to go through, and went and got a vasectomy.  

We have never regretted our decision.  

If Lori wants to talk about birth control, I'd rather talk about how she (unbeknownst to her husband) sabotaged her own.  That would be an interesting discussion.  

[Briefly]

4 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

OK, now that I've gotten up from laughing on the floor about "spermies".  I read Lori's post and am sooooo angry right now.  I replied to the post. It won't be approved, but I had to tell her off.

I suffered from infertility. The hubby and I chose to adopt, but the first two times we were chosen failed because the birth mothers changed their minds and kept their babies.  I've never felt such unimaginable grief and even considered suicide.  I felt worthless, and I wasn't even brought up fundie where I was taught that was my only purpose.

Anyway, fast forward 10 years we finally went through the state and did foster care to adopt and ended up with a 2 and 3 year old brother and sister who are teenagers now.  

it just pisses me off that Lori shows no compassion and assumes all childless women are on BC and don't want children.  

Also, my husband has been a pastor for over 20 years and has never been in a church that "celebrated barrenness".  Like most people,, we mind our own business and don't make assumptions as to why a couple does not have children. 

 

I've referred to our inability to conceive before, it happened but it took 7 years. We did not try ivf, etc., it was simply not anything we could afford and our insurance at the time did not cover it. It was so hard when everybody else we knew was having babies and we weren't. I think if I had had to deal with someone like Lori, I probably would have just ripped her head off. I did have a couple of people that kept asking me why we didn't have any kids yet, it was none of their business so we didn't enlighten them. But at least they were not like evil Lori. It's tough and I would not question or judge anyone like she does and there is no excuse for how horrible she is.

6 minutes ago, Koala said:

I have news for Lori- I don't give a tinker's damn what she thinks of my reproductive choices.

My doctor told us in no uncertain terms that pregnancy was wearing on my body.  I opted for a tubal ligation, and scheduled it for 6 weeks after my daughter was born.  

My husband (bless him) said that 4 pregnancies and two births was enough for any one person to go through, and went and got a vasectomy.  

We have never regretted our decision.  

If Lori wants to talk about birth control, I'd rather talk about how she (unbeknownst to her husband) sabotaged her own.  That would be an interesting discussion.  

I had a tubal ligation when we realized that baby # 2 was not ever going to happen and we were getting to an older age than we felt comfortable with in case baby # 2 did ever decide to show up. My mom was almost 39 when I was born and I was seriously afraid that might happen in my case.  It was the right decision for us and we have never regretted it.

My husband's niece had two kids and they decided they were through, her husband got a vasectomy and then the discovered tht it didn't work when she got pregnant with # 3. The issues with a certain family member in my husband's family were the opposite - that particular person was furious that the niece and her husband were having another baby - to the point that they told everybody what a horrible, selfish thing it was and tried to blame the niece's husband for "ruining her life" (among other things) and they made everybody really mad. The end result is that the person who got so mad had hardly any relationship with most of the family for years. The niece and her husband had not planned on a third child but they welcomed the baby wholeheartedly, however after she gave birth her husband got his vasectomy re-done and she got a tubal ligation.

[Koala]

Here's a question.  

Ken makes his money in orthodontia.  Their son is a dentist.  Clearly they value dental health.

My children are 15 months apart.  Our family dentist felt that they both required braces, and referred us to a local orthodontist.  They both got them the same day. 

We have pretty damn good dental insurance, but I still pay $268 a month in orthodontist payments, and that's WITH a sibling discount.  In the end, after insurance we will have paid right at 5,900.  

How are these mega families supposed to handle these expenses?  

 

[Lgirlrocks]

1 hour ago, Sarah92 said:

Three kids is about the average in my entire family. But my family all value children, they just know what they can and can't handle. Another baby after my little sister would have probably had consequences for my mom. And I much prefer to have her around than dead from trying to have another baby. Does Lori not get that? Some of these women are risking their health and livelihoods to have more kids then they can handle. And for what reason? To potentially leave their other children without a mother? I simply can't stand it. Heck from what I know about momma dogs you aren't supposed to breed them too much. 

My mom wanted to have four kids, two boys and two girls. She made it to two boys and one girl. Trying to have one more child she almost died. She had five total miscarriages. With the last one she ended up in the hospital because she lost so much blood. After being discharged from the hospital my dad stopped for ice cream and my mom put the seat back. She passed out. The doctor didn’t take her blood pressure when she was lying down. My dad put his foot down and said no more trying for kids. He was so scared. 

[feministxtian]

IF it had been up to me, I'd have had one more (I hate odd numbers)...but after the miscarriage that almost killed me, I'm kinda glad I went for the hysterectomy. My daughter had some problems and if she ever wants to conceive again, she'll need to do IVF...they're thinking about it...but don't want to wait too long due to her age. 

I'm glad I didn't keep having kids into my 30's and beyond. It was kinda nice to have 'em all on their own by the time I was 45. 

[Frog99]

2 hours ago, saintmom said:

And furthermore, when I had my child I did not "give him to strangers to raise" (on one of her other stupid posts about working women), he was with his grandparents on BOTH sides while I was on shift, was at home with his father when I worked nights, and days off he was with the three of us.  Shockingly, he's grown up to be a fine young man who appreciates time with his aging grandparents and loves his family.  He does not suffer from abandonment issues, and we are unbelieveably proud of who he is becoming.  So suck it, Lori.

 

I didn’t give mine to “strangers” to raise- I interviewed childcare providers to find the best fit for us, and spent time in the childcare setting observing. The result- our childcare provider has become like an extended family member and I appreciate her attentive care. 

Note- I fully acknowledge  my privilege in being able to interview childcare providers. I know that many do not have that luxury of time, transportation, or availability of providers. I also fully acknowledge my privilege in accessing fertility treatment. My insurance covered all of it. 

Lori denies her privilege and her fan girls are clueless. 

After 22 years as a social worker, I believe that we are all doing what we think is best for our families to the best of our abilities. Lori needs to step way out of her comfort zone and stretch her brain cells a bit. 

[AuntKrazy]

My first thought when I saw the title of Lori's post was "where?". Where is this church that celebrates barreness? Because as a physiologically barren Christian woman, I'd like to go to church there this coming Sunday instead of a church that tells me I am a spiritual failure because "being a mother is the highest of all callings for a godly woman" and defines me as less feminine/less in the eyes of God simply because I could not give birth.

 

[Curious]

12 hours ago, Koala said:

Of course she can't answer it!  It's not like it's true.  She just wants to spread HER message.  And find another excuse to talk about "barrenness".  It seems she works that into conversations quite frequently.  

Well, she can't let Alyssa just be happy with her dog, now can she?

11 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Obviously, this is a huge exaggeration (hopefully)

someone needs to send this woman a link to Lori.  I could totally see Lori writing those SJ bits word for word.  She probably has somewhere actually

[HoneyBunny]

I’m quoting AuntKrazy here, but doing it very poorly...

Thank you, thank you for this, from the very bottom of my unbarren heart, which just happens to be above my barren womb.  

And don’t even get me started on what it’s like to be called selfish for not having children by people who have no right to comment on the matter. 

 

[livinglongerthanyou]

15 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Also I love the dog talk. It's much more exciting than what Lori writes. We've had at least three sets of blue heeler/ Australian cattle dog puppies and they're great dogs. Intelligent, loving, and wonderful family dogs. The ones we've kept love babies and children. Ours have even been known to play hide and seek with kids. The one we have now, my dog nephew really, has a wonderfully quirky personality. He's also fond of bananas for the occasional treat. I also grew up with a Rottweiler who was the sweetest, gentlest "nanny dog".

Dogs are generally way better than people. I've learned a great deal from all the dogs I've loved and who have loved me. A couple of months ago we lost a fine lead dog named PeePee (yeah, tough Northern name). I was living in the bush when he was born and his mom developed a uterine infection and died when the litter was 4-days-old. I spent hours on my satellite phone with the vet in town and despite our best efforts, she died. It was during freeze up and there was no way to get a bush plane to land on the lake I lived on and get the mom to town. 

PeePee and his littermates were bottle fed - from a formula I devised myself. They all survived and thrived. The past couple of years, PeePee worked for a friend of mine just a few miles from us. He was the kennel ambassador and met thousands of people who all fell in love with him. When it became obvious it was time to say farewell, my friend brought him by so I could love on him one last time. The one thing she said too me, and it is so true, is that dogs live in the moment. They live hard. They work hard. They love hard. And when it's time to go, they take their leave. No judgments. Always forgiving. Lori could learn a great deal from dogs. 

[Anna Arkadyevna]

livinglongerthanyou, you made me cry.

[smittykins]

12 hours ago, Koala said:

Here's a question.  

Ken makes his money in orthodontia.  Their son is a dentist.  Clearly they value dental health.

My children are 15 months apart.  Our family dentist felt that they both required braces, and referred us to a local orthodontist.  They both got them the same day. 

We have pretty damn good dental insurance, but I still pay $268 a month in orthodontist payments, and that's WITH a sibling discount.  In the end, after insurance we will have paid right at 5,900.  

How are these mega families supposed to handle these expenses?  

 

Didn't Emily(Under $1000 Per Month)admit they didn't go to a dentist because "we take care of our teeth"(Dna's black choppers notwithstanding)?

[Curious]

2 minutes ago, smittykins said:

Didn't Emily(Under $1000 Per Month)admit they didn't go to a dentist because "we take care of our teeth"(Dna's black choppers notwithstanding)?

It seems like a lot of fundies feel this way.  I kind of wonder if they hadn't had TLC would as many Duggar kids have braces as they did?  Do the Duggar boys get braces or only the girls?  I feel like this was a thing, but I have never followed them *that* closely

[Sarah92]

6 hours ago, livinglongerthanyou said:

Dogs are generally way better than people. I've learned a great deal from all the dogs I've loved and who have loved me. A couple of months ago we lost a fine lead dog named PeePee (yeah, tough Northern name). I was living in the bush when he was born and his mom developed a uterine infection and died when the litter was 4-days-old. I spent hours on my satellite phone with the vet in town and despite our best efforts, she died. It was during freeze up and there was no way to get a bush plane to land on the lake I lived on and get the mom to town. 

PeePee and his littermates were bottle fed - from a formula I devised myself. They all survived and thrived. The past couple of years, PeePee worked for a friend of mine just a few miles from us. He was the kennel ambassador and met thousands of people who all fell in love with him. When it became obvious it was time to say farewell, my friend brought him by so I could love on him one last time. The one thing she said too me, and it is so true, is that dogs live in the moment. They live hard. They work hard. They love hard. And when it's time to go, they take their leave. No judgments. Always forgiving. Lori could learn a great deal from dogs. 

Omgosh this made me tear up. It's so true. My parents had to put down one of our dogs last fall because he was just not doing well. I was away at school and just remember crying on the phone. But he was so sweet and gentle. He had a good 14 years. He rarely went on a leash or went into a kennel because he seemed to think himself above all that. However, he never left the yard anyways, even without a fence. Put him on a leash and he'd just side-eye you (so maybe a little judgement haha). Also wouldn't play fetch or tug-a-war because he was just so laid back. But so sweet and love love loved babies. Playing hide and seek was his jam and the only game he really played. Man I miss good ole' Smoke.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

11 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

My first thought when I saw the title of Lori's post was "where?". Where is this church that celebrates barreness? Because as a physiologically barren Christian woman, I'd like to go to church there this coming Sunday instead of a church that tells me I am a spiritual failure because "being a mother is the highest of all callings for a godly woman" and defines me as less feminine/less in the eyes of God simply because I could not give birth.

 

Someone asked her exactly that. Where are these churches? They were deleted. 

[lilwriter85]

13 hours ago, Koala said:

Here's a question.  

Ken makes his money in orthodontia.  Their son is a dentist.  Clearly they value dental health.

My children are 15 months apart.  Our family dentist felt that they both required braces, and referred us to a local orthodontist.  They both got them the same day. 

We have pretty damn good dental insurance, but I still pay $268 a month in orthodontist payments, and that's WITH a sibling discount.  In the end, after insurance we will have paid right at 5,900.  

How are these mega families supposed to handle these expenses?  

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Curious said:

It seems like a lot of fundies feel this way.  I kind of wonder if they hadn't had TLC would as many Duggar kids have braces as they did?  Do the Duggar boys get braces or only the girls?  I feel like this was a thing, but I have never followed them *that* closely

I don't think Lori ever really cares if any of her fangirls with mega families can't afford orthodontia and Ken probably doesn't either.

I do remember some of the Duggar girls got braces. I recall Jessa and Jinger having them. 

I recall that one of the kids in the Jeub family got free orthodontic work. But, I don't think Chris and Wendy ever totally explained it.

[Alisamer]

12 hours ago, Frog99 said:

I didn’t give mine to “strangers” to raise- I interviewed childcare providers to find the best fit for us, and spent time in the childcare setting observing. The result- our childcare provider has become like an extended family member and I appreciate her attentive care. 

I don't have kids. However, I worked at a daycare during all my breaks from college, and I find it a bit insulting that so many of these fundies rail against "giving your kids to strangers to raise". We weren't strangers. We worked with the parents. We let them know what all the child had done during they day, they let us know what had been happening in the child's life that might come up, we took photos for them sometimes (before digital cameras were a thing), and celebrated milestones with them. I'm sure the children we kept felt more comfortable with us than Lori's grandkids probably do with her!

We kept an appropriate professional relationship, as we were NOT the parents or family, but we did the best we could to support and help the family. I still wonder about Brooke, Dillon, Cody, Yuri, Brandon, Katie, Magan and others that I kept as babies and haven't seen since. They'd all be young adults now. They were loved, and they are remembered, whether they remember it or not. 

[Chocolatedefrauded]

14 hours ago, Koala said:

We have pretty damn good dental insurance, but I still pay $268 a month in orthodontist payments, and that's WITH a sibling discount.  In the end, after insurance we will have paid right at 5,900.  
 

That’s cheap for 2 sets of braces. I live in an expensive area. I paid $5,900 for 1 kid’s braces & my union reimbursed me $2,000. We just finished paying it off so there’s an extra $210 a month in our budget! It was worth it cause her mouth is beautiful now. I now understand my mother telling me to take care of my teeth cause they cost her enough! I had braces for 4 years & had 8 teeth pulled (including wisdom teeth.) Big teeth, small mouth.

But I fully understand that braces is a luxury for a lot of Americans who are struggling just to feed their kid & keep a roof over their heads.

[Hisey]

A new grandchild for Lori. ... her son Ryan and dil Erin are expecting their fourth, due in November. (According to Erin's instagram, Champagne and Glitter)

Erin is also looking to hire some jewelry makers for her business.

[jerkit]

I would have predicted they'd be done. But good for them.

[Frog99]

20 minutes ago, jerkit said:

I would have predicted they'd be done. But good for them.

I’m surprised Lori hasn’t shared the news. As of last night, she hadn’t commented or liked the IG post. 

[usmcmom]

Well crap! Ryan gets another child on whom to practice his food abuse! 

Is baby hungry? NO FOOD FOR BABY!!

Is baby full? TIME TO FORCE FEED!

I hate it when cruel people reproduce. 

[EowynW]

Isn't there another grandbaby due this year too?