Dillards 55: Selling the High Life

[Ilovebrownies]

Pickles sounds upset that she was blocked and she doesn't know why.  Oh, the irony.

[Million Children For Jesus]

8 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

The fist time I had Chik-fil-A was about 15 years ago, and I wasn't impressed.  We now several in the area, I ate there 1 more time, before I knew of their politics, and again wasn't impressed so I really don't get the appeal of this place it's basic now if you want good chicken gimme a Zaxby's any day. We don't have one anywhere near where I live but when I go see my sister, she's like 1 mile from one and we hit that one up. 

Jill, ugh, bless her heart, she's trying to cram her square peg into the round hole of life. She's going to make herself crazy. Just embrace your weirdness and live with it.  

Jessa, Jinger and Joy seem to have found men that they blend with well.  JInJer and their Insta/hipster/preacher world travelers life. Then, Benesa down home, simple, SAHM, young, hands on active dad who's going to school while 'working'. Jostin, young outdoorsy, hard working, following family traditions keeping family close while they do their thing.  These 3 couples look happy, seem normal(ish) and are just living their lives how they like, Jill looks like she's trying desperately to be that, and it is failing. 

You really nailed it.  I get it now. Thank you. The other couples have synced and have a clear identity, and that reads as authentic. I can’t stand Ben, Jessa, or Jeremy, and I can only marginally tolerate Jinger and Joy. Somehow in this pool, Austin is my front runner. 

Jill, poor people pleasing, anxiety ridden Jill. She drew the short straw on husbands, and is so busy appeasing his weird personality and mood swings, it may be years before she has a chance to figure out who she is and what she is about. In the meantime, she’s making desperate attempts to give people what she thinks they like and want, recipes and awkward mom moments, without any awareness about how she is perceived.

Who would want a recipe from a lady raised on tater tots whose palate is so unrefined that she thinks Chik-Fil-A is a destination? I’ll pass. Awkward mom moments work for regular SAHMs and working moms alike, but the “unnecessarily-dragging-my-kids-to-foreign-countries and Chik-Fil-A while kowtowing to my douchebag husband while he promotes hateful rhetoric” mom. Ehhhh. I don’t think anyone is going to favorably respond to that. It’s not relatable. 

ETA: relatable or respectable 

[SapphireSlytherin]

14 hours ago, Timetostoplurking said:

I’m going to make a very unprofessional, arm chair diagnosis regarding the OMG, surprise, I’m having sooooo much fun face.  I might have read somewhere, or heard something about this habit somewhere.  People make that face when they are hiding an emotion. The “I’m having so much fun” face when it’s really the opposite.  It’s an actors face.  An insecure face.  Very much like her mother’s baby voice. It’s a shield from reality.  I find myself making that face when I’m asked to smile and I’m not really having much fun.  If I’m really having fun, then I just smile in a natural way. At least that is how I see it.  I could be way off base but this really fits with the way she was raised and how fake the Dills come across. 

I have a friend whose Instagram and FB are filled with the open-mouth/happy/surprised look selfies. She is a miserable person in RL.

[Beermeet]

Ready to go into work and saw this:

That will keep me laughing until lunch!  So not looking forward to today.  Ugh.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

4 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

Ready to go into work and saw this:

That will keep me laughing until lunch!  So not looking forward to today.  Ugh.

This woman is a total nut job.  She's reached JillRod levels of deleting and banning, and none of the posts she deleted were attacking her.

 

[HarleyQuinn]

How is this so hard to understand?  

[singsingsing]

Oh my God, she has to be trolling now, right? Has her page been hacked, or was this a long con all along? "I only messaged Jazz and her mom three times. That is not harassment." ?! Sit down, woman!

She's out of control.

[AtlanticTug]

The sad thing about Jill is that she feels this need to suddenly brand herself and sell herself as some sort of mom/lifestyle blogger. Her husband is an idiot but I don't doubt that he sincerely doesn't want to be on the show. I think he found it annoying and stifling and he probably could have tolerated both those feelings if he was getting $$ for it. But if he was truly "volunteering", I think he's absolutely done with it and wants to be doing his own thing (i.e. missioncations, converting Catholics, tweeting nonsense and feeling self-righteous about it all). I really don't see him as pushing this newfound blogging, though I guess maybe it's possible if he thinks they can somehow monetize it. It feels much more like it's Jill in search of validation. She was Jim Bob's favorite growing up and the golden daughter in many ways. She probably got a lot more praise than her siblings, she was the first married daughter and so on. So now she's seeking some kind of adoration externally and it's really horribly painful and awkward to watch. It's clear that Derrick isn't meeting her emotional needs at home and she hasn't been able to build a social circle of her own Mom/fundie friends the way Jessa seems to.

[WhoompThereItIs]

I saw the Pickles drama on FB this morning (WHY do I always find these things when I'm supposed to be getting ready for work?!), and was hoping her ridiculousness was being addressed here. Y'all have not let me down!

[lizzybee]

Putting on my mom perspective here and I'll preface this by saying I agree if this is the actual case, she ought to have stayed in Arkansas with the kids, but she didn't, so here goes: 

Let's say Derick+whomever they're with are actually working on something and they're all sharing a bus or a couple of vehicles. Izzy and Sam are restless because there's nothing to do and she's been trying to keep them happy/entertained/out of things for a while, and is bored herself. She looks it up and sees there's a Chick-fil-a within 3-5 miles and decides, what the heck, there's a playground, she knows Izzy will eat Chick-fil-a, and so she decides to make the walk. Walking with my toddler in a stroller is 100% more entertaining to him than having to sit patiently in a stroller or try to play somewhere he isn't allowed to touch anything. I took him to my OB appointment on Monday out of necessity and that was miserable for all. I've already lined up childcare for next visit.

I hope she used sunscreen or thought of it. I didn't and the other day got burnt to lobster status at the park (my son didn't, thank goodness). I bought a big container of sunscreen for the diaperbag and won't be forgetting again. Plus one to @VelociRapture's testimony that toddlers don't like their sunglasses. That's always a tearful battle and usually ends with me stuffing them back in the diaperbag in defeat.  

Anyway, if she was going to be somewhere like this where there'd be absolutely nothing to do for the kids so much so that she'd have to walk an hour to CFA to entertain them/find something that Izzy would even eat, she ought to again have stayed at home. BUT it looks like she was attempting to be resourceful and keep her kids happy in the result of her poor decision (says me not her) and thus I get it. I would have stayed home though, I state for the third time.  

Lastly, CFA is currently the only chicken nugget my son will eat. He doesn't like beef at all or cheese unless it's on a pizza so my options are limited if I didn't bring lunch from home. I don't know why but all other chicken is met with hard no's but that's my real life right now. I don't know what Izzy's pickiness level is like right now, but I would've picked CFA too for that reason. 

[Glasgowghirl]

If Jazz or her mother ignored her first time then she should have left it at that. Derick said he was open to meeting Jazz but wasn't exactly emphusiastic about it. Derick has blocked her and Jazz is ignoring her, she needs to let it go.

[Ivycoveredtower]

11 hours ago, PainfullyAware said:

I think Jessa has been considered savvier at social marketing than Jill (in addition to previous posts) because 

1. She has more or less stopped using social media to evangelize negatively (remember the abortion=holocaust grams, the 'hell is real' posts?) 

2. She focuses on her kids, not herself. The relatable parenting fails. 

3. Her kid pics are cute and show age appropriate toys/experiences (no indoctrinating child books, iirc)

Jill posts pics of bat crazy experiences (1 hr walk to fast food with 2 toddlers) and wacko toys (tuttle twins). 

4. Jill 'ministers' with Derick without doing much that we can see. Jessa straight up claims to be a stay at home mom, no ministering = less criticism for talking up her activities. 

5. Ben is quiet on social media and- well, Derick isn't. 

the thing with Jill is she wanted to be a missionary's wife. she wanted to go out in the field and be a midwife. which is why Jim Bob stuck her with Derick. but Jill fell pregnant really soon. had a hard birth got sent to a country she honestly can't stand and oh yeah she sucks at being a midwife. 

59 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

Ready to go into work and saw this:

That will keep me laughing until lunch!  So not looking forward to today.  Ugh.

Oh Pickles it's actually a little sad to see how crazy desperate she has gotten. 

49 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

The sad thing about Jill is that she feels this need to suddenly brand herself and sell herself as some sort of mom/lifestyle blogger. Her husband is an idiot but I don't doubt that he sincerely doesn't want to be on the show. I think he found it annoying and stifling and he probably could have tolerated both those feelings if he was getting $$ for it. But if he was truly "volunteering", I think he's absolutely done with it and wants to be doing his own thing (i.e. missioncations, converting Catholics, tweeting nonsense and feeling self-righteous about it all). I really don't see him as pushing this newfound blogging, though I guess maybe it's possible if he thinks they can somehow monetize it. It feels much more like it's Jill in search of validation. She was Jim Bob's favorite growing up and the golden daughter in many ways. She probably got a lot more praise than her siblings, she was the first married daughter and so on. So now she's seeking some kind of adoration externally and it's really horribly painful and awkward to watch. It's clear that Derrick isn't meeting her emotional needs at home and she hasn't been able to build a social circle of her own Mom/fundie friends the way Jessa seems to.

Derick is nothing but a lie lie liar he claims none of the family has taped with the show since the summer. except Jill was in at least one talking head during the last season and oh yeah her text and voice was seen/heard on the show. and she herself was seen on the show during Joy's birth story. so Jill is still taping for TLC maybe not a bunch but she is and Derick is lying about it. 

[AreYouThereGothard?]

Not sure if this has been discussed, but is the family even supportive of her at this point? She’s been pretty obnoxious for awhile; she clearly wanted to beat Jessa down the aisle, she shot down Jinger wanting to live near a city “only if God wanted her there”, she blatantly took advantage of Jana putting sleeves on the bridesmaid dresses (Jessa’s were hideous but at least they were ready to go) and she got the pretty pretty princess treatment trying on wedding gowns and having everyone fawn over her. If I had a friend/sister like that, I’d be annoyed and wouldn’t want to hang out with her, especially since the older girls (and arguably her only friends) have their own families and little time to visit. 

I do feel bad for her; all her hopes and dreams for “happily ever after” have kind of been screwed over. I hope she has a revelation instead of a breakdown, but given how emotionally repressed the “perfect girls” are (ie, Anna not wanting to get angry with Josh for fear of turning a “mess into a disaster”), I can only hope she gets whatever help/support she needs. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

1 minute ago, AreYouThereGothard? said:

Not sure if this has been discussed, but is the family even supportive of her at this point? She’s been pretty obnoxious for awhile; she clearly wanted to beat Jessa down the aisle, she shot down Jinger wanting to live near a city “only if God wanted her there”, she blatantly took advantage of Jana putting sleeves on the bridesmaid dresses (Jessa’s were hideous but at least they were ready to go) and she got the pretty pretty princess treatment trying on wedding gowns and having everyone fawn over her. If I had a friend/sister like that, I’d be annoyed and wouldn’t want to hang out with her, especially since the older girls (and arguably her only friends) have their own families and little time to visit. 

I do feel bad for her; all her hopes and dreams for “happily ever after” have kind of been screwed over. I hope she has a revelation instead of a breakdown, but given how emotionally repressed the “perfect girls” are (ie, Anna not wanting to get angry with Josh for fear of turning a “mess into a disaster”), I can only hope she gets whatever help/support she needs. 

well she has been shown with both Jessa and Jinger in the last few months on social Media. We know that she was at Joy's birth and she's been at the TTH at least in Feb.  so I think she's still talking to her family but at the same time there seems to be a barrier around her and them. their birthday message to Derick was very frosty. instead of dropping the kids off at the TTH for date night they took them with them and left them strapped into a car seat well doing a live video.  and the last time the Duggar's even mentioned Jill and Derick it was in the context of years ago before Sam was even born.  plus it seems the Batesfam have unfollowed Derick and Jill well still following Jessa, Anna and Joy plus the main duggarfam account

[fluffernutter]

12 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

Has Uber or Lyft not invaded Co Springs yet?!

My husband forgot his license when we was there for work. He had to get searched and then when he got to Denver they wouldn't let him rent a car. So he ubered from Denver to Colorado springs. They've got it. 

[BabyBottlePop]

5 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

My husband forgot his license when we was there for work. He had to get searched and then when he got to Denver they wouldn't let him rent a car. So he ubered from Denver to Colorado springs. They've got it. 

Me thinks she wouldn't have spent the money on a Uber. Not that they're that expensive but I bet D-Wreck wouldn't like her spending it.

[HarleyQuinn]

1 hour ago, Glasgowghirl said:

If Jazz or her mother ignored her first time then she should have left it at that. Derick said he was open to meeting Jazz but wasn't exactly emphusiastic about it. Derick has blocked her and Jazz is ignoring her, she needs to let it go.

But they didn't ignore her, "they probably get thousands of messages and haven't read it yet"  

[mizandry]

1 hour ago, Beermeet said:

Ready to go into work and saw this:

That will keep me laughing until lunch!  So not looking forward to today.  Ugh.

 

Spoiler

 

Wow, she's being so condescending and presumptuous. There is no reason for Pickles to get this defensive. 

Nobody is misunderstanding what her intent is. We're not against productive conversations like she continues to manipulatively assert.

We're against her trying to intervene on a personal matter that has nothing to do with her, especially when she's a stranger to everyone she's trying to arrange this meeting for. The bully blocked her, the victim is a teenager who doesn't know her or read her messages (or does, Pickles, but just might be ignoring you on purpose). 

If Jazz was spending time debating Derick and singling him out for education, maybe this could be appropriate? But no - she's literally avoiding him. RESPECT THAT. Don't get more people involved in the "let her know" (peer pressure, harassment) campaign. There's a reason people are upset and it's not because we're "resistant to people 'just' meeting up and talking." 

[EmmieJ]

14 hours ago, Jessesgirl said:

I wonder If it ever crossed Jill’s mind to stay home with the kids while Derek went to Colorado Springs? I honestly don’t think she would be able to handle it. She is that needy and lacks independence. I find it sad and pathetic that she has nothing else to do but hang around and invent things to do while Derek is “working.” I can’t imagine hanging around my husband’s job all day waiting for him to get out. I also find it  disturbing that she decided to walk for over an hour just to go to Chik fila. I agree with others who say the poor kids look miserable. But they are adorable, btw. I love Samuel’s expressions. Surely there must be other restaurants that are closer. If that was me I would have done some research and looked for a local restaurant to try. 

What I would  hope is that Jill would take a life lesson from this trip, and decide that she could stay home while Derick goes off on shorter trips like this by himself.  Young children do like to have a regular routine and besides, at home there are lots of cousins for the boys to play with, as well as sisters for Jill to hang out with.  It has to be boring to be stuck in a generic hotel room with an active 3-year old and a baby, no car, and in an unfamiliar town.   However, given her upbringing, I think she believes the best way to keep a husband from even thinking of straying is to stick to his side like glue.   

[Jessesgirl]

27 minutes ago, EmmieJ said:

What I would  hope is that Jill would take a life lesson from this trip, and decide that she could stay home while Derick goes off on shorter trips like this by himself.  Young children do like to have a regular routine and besides, at home there are lots of cousins for the boys to play with, as well as sisters for Jill to hang out with.  It has to be boring to be stuck in a generic hotel room with an active 3-year old and a baby, no car, and in an unfamiliar town.   However, given her upbringing, I think she believes the best way to keep a husband from even thinking of straying is to stick to his side like glue.   

Exactly! You hit the nail on the head. She is insecure and Worried about him being around those hot young college girls in their short shorts.  She could have planned some nice play dates with her sisters if she had stayed home. Or here’s a thought, why didn’t she just join the missionary program too!? She’s going along on all the trips anyway. And also claims to be interested in missionary work too. Maybe it would have been nice for them to do it together. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

5 minutes ago, Jessesgirl said:

Exactly! You hit the nail on the head. She is insecure and Worried about him being around those hot young college girls in their short shorts.  She could have planned some nice play dates with her sisters if she had stayed home. Or here’s a thought, why didn’t she just join the missionary program too!? She’s going along on all the trips anyway. And also claims to be interested in missionary work too. Maybe it would have been nice for them to do it together. 

I have a feeling Derick chose the college ministry because he wants to relive his pre-Jill missionary life.  If he truly wanted to involve her in his 'missionary' life, he would have chosen a young family/adult track with ministry opportunities that she could also participate in.  But he didn't.  IMO, that speaks volumes about how he feels about Jill...he simply doesn't care that she's clearly out of her element when they're on these trips.  

[nastyhobbitses]

3 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

The sad thing about Jill is that she feels this need to suddenly brand herself and sell herself as some sort of mom/lifestyle blogger. Her husband is an idiot but I don't doubt that he sincerely doesn't want to be on the show. I think he found it annoying and stifling and he probably could have tolerated both those feelings if he was getting $$ for it. But if he was truly "volunteering", I think he's absolutely done with it and wants to be doing his own thing (i.e. missioncations, converting Catholics, tweeting nonsense and feeling self-righteous about it all). I really don't see him as pushing this newfound blogging, though I guess maybe it's possible if he thinks they can somehow monetize it. It feels much more like it's Jill in search of validation. She was Jim Bob's favorite growing up and the golden daughter in many ways. She probably got a lot more praise than her siblings, she was the first married daughter and so on. So now she's seeking some kind of adoration externally and it's really horribly painful and awkward to watch. It's clear that Derrick isn't meeting her emotional needs at home and she hasn't been able to build a social circle of her own Mom/fundie friends the way Jessa seems to.

Jill kinda reminds me of some "peaked in high school" people I knew who were very used to being treated and viewed a certain way and were in their element when they could be big fish in small ponds, but when they got done with high school (or college) and transitioned to adulthood, they were no longer queen bee/big man on campus, and just had no idea how to deal with adult socializing or adulting in general, because they didn't really know how to function when they didn't have the safety nets of high school/college, or constant positive feedback/being told that the sun shines out of their asses. 

In Jill's particular case, I think she's chasing that validation dragon because it's all she has. She was fed this bullshit from childhood onwards that her self-worth should be derived from what men think of her (but only the right things), that she had to be and act and look a certain way to be desirable and worthy of love, so I'm sure it's hard for her to look in the mirror and say "I have fabulous hair, two adorable kids, a whole lot of gumption, and a heart for the lord. I'm pretty fucking great and Derick better thank his lucky stars that I deign to let him within 500 feet of me." She needs to hear that from Jim Bob. Or Derick. Or Michelle. Or the leghumpers. And now so many of her sources of validation have turned out to be not great at validating, or she's been isolated/cut off from them. And now she's seeing that the things she's Supposed To Do in order to be the good fundie woman worthy of love and validation are harder than they look, or potentially impossible. So she's scrambling for that validation because she doesn't know what else to do. 

Dammit, Jill, you do shit that annoys me and I wish you'd stop being the most bizarre fundie parent, but you deserve so much better. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

3 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

The sad thing about Jill is that she feels this need to suddenly brand herself and sell herself as some sort of mom/lifestyle blogger. Her husband is an idiot but I don't doubt that he sincerely doesn't want to be on the show. I think he found it annoying and stifling and he probably could have tolerated both those feelings if he was getting $$ for it. But if he was truly "volunteering", I think he's absolutely done with it and wants to be doing his own thing (i.e. missioncations, converting Catholics, tweeting nonsense and feeling self-righteous about it all). I really don't see him as pushing this newfound blogging, though I guess maybe it's possible if he thinks they can somehow monetize it. It feels much more like it's Jill in search of validation. She was Jim Bob's favorite growing up and the golden daughter in many ways. She probably got a lot more praise than her siblings, she was the first married daughter and so on. So now she's seeking some kind of adoration externally and it's really horribly painful and awkward to watch. It's clear that Derrick isn't meeting her emotional needs at home and she hasn't been able to build a social circle of her own Mom/fundie friends the way Jessa seems to.

I agree.  Jill is struggling to find an identity and has zero awareness of how she is perceived.  If she lived in a normal family, she could ask her mother or sisters for advice on how to carve out her own niche on social media and make friends, not acquaintances, with other young moms.  I just don't think Jill is close to anyone other than her buddy team, so she lives a lonely life.  

[Ivycoveredtower]

two Video's Izzy blows out his candles with Derick Jill and Cathy and Izzy has a pinata at the TTH poor kid can't get any candy because of the mob of kids. 

Spoiler

 

 

Spoiler

 

another Izzy helps Jill make his birthday cake. it's actually sweet how excited he is. 

[Satan'sFortress]

It's nice that they had the pinata to pay tribute to their Mexican/Central American heritage.