BRADRICK! Divorce Part 3: Now With Remarriage?

[Howl]

One of my dear friends married a guy who was still single in his late thirties and they have been happily married for almost 20 years.  Another friend is a pretty cool guy is in his early 50s and still single, but actively looking. It's not that being a never married is the problem.  It's the never married and all of the other issues with this guy and the overlay of what we know about patriarchy that is concerning.  Plus, once Kelly says I do, that's it for them.  No divorce, separation, annulment. 

[nokidsmom]

@JemimaPuddle-Duck what you wrote about being surprised that your husband wasn't snapped up before you met him.  Same here with Mr. No.   He was later 20's when we met but I was shocked that no one got to him before me.   Actually still am shocked but hey, lucky me!!!

@Howl a guy I knew back in when I was still attending my folks' church just got married in his mid-50s a couple of years ago.  In talking to his sister at my Dad's memorial service, he seems to be doing very well.

 

[formergothardite]

Him not marrying till he is older isn't a massive red flag. Him being a religious fanatic is. 

 

[JMO]

I'm chiming in on this.  I came to FJ after the Bradricks married and right before the fall of VF.  Pretty much I learned of Kelly when her marriage went belly up.  I'm worried for her for all the reasons others have listed.  We may be wrong.  But a quickie marriage to yet another religious fanatic who reached a relatively late age of marriage despite being educated and relatively attractive and employed for at least a reasonable amount of time is a massive red flag for someone in his community.  Especially when divorce and remarriage is looked down upon but he is happily taking on her 6 kids.  She's beautiful and I'm sure a wonderful helpmeet and a great catch but something is off.  No matter if there is anything actually "wrong" with this guy this is going to be a rocky transition for the kids at the very least (not to mention her).  Look at Pecan and Brandon, they reached mid 20's and were pressured into finding a young maiden and settling down.  Brandon hadn't even finished school.  I'm in health care and I mentioned an anecdote on another thread.  I sometimes care for Orthodox and Hasidic moms.  I went to see one once for the first time and noted that she was 36 and yet having her first kid.  That was a major red flag for me.  When I met her I realized that there was something majorly off about her.  Long story short she was schizophrenic and had spent most of her adulthood in and out of treatment but her family chose to hide it in order to marry her off.  She stopped taking her meds while pregnant and had another relapse but didn't tell anyone.  Now I'm not saying that this guy has a mental illness that he is hiding, but something is off.  

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Late marriage here (both 36) & the scrutiny that came with it was pretty bad. People assume that there is something wrong with you if you don’t marry by some magical age, which varies but seems to be around 30. It really bugged me. My hubby had to assure the priest who married us that he had no hidden love children that I did not know about. His mother practically kissed the ground in front of me when I met her, saying she was so, so happy he finally met someone. Hidden message - i’m so glad there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with you!

my family was maybe worse. Lots of little digs that I was too picky, strange or spoiled, maybe lesbian. Like I was not getting married just to spite people! The funny thing is we are going to be married 18 years soon & some of our critics are divorced now, some more than once.

my point is this guy may be an asshat in some regards but we don’t know why he did not marry til now. He may have simply been waiting for the right woman or the right time.

[nokidsmom]

10 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Him not marrying till isn't a massive red flag. Him being a religious fanatic is. 

I think Scottie was making damn sure this second time was not going to be a mistake, in his view at least, so a religious fanatic who was willing to lose his job for Jebus was going to be a better bet especially compared to that loser Bradrick! who has strayed the path (once again, in Scottie's view).   

[singsingsing]

It's the fact that he's an unmarried 37-year-old fundie that's giving me pause. In the real world, there's nothing weird at all about being unmarried at any age. Hell, it's somewhat uncommon but fairly unremarkable for perfectly normal, healthy people to remain single and celibate for decades, or forever. But fundies not only are not allowed to have sex until they're married, they're not even allowed to masturbate, or think sexual thoughts. Plus they idolize young marriage and producing as many babies as possible. A man proves his manliness by marrying a virgin and impregnating her as quickly and as often as possible. Even if they don't hold to that extreme quiverfull view, there's still a huge expectation and pressure for them to marry young and have children, especially for someone with his aspirations. So I think it's natural to wonder why this Christian fundamentalist, who presumably holds these views, has remained unmarried until so 'late' an age. 

[Bethella]

3 hours ago, Howl said:

• First marriage will be to a much younger woman with six young children

I agree with most of your post but Kelly is only 3-4 years younger than he is which I don't consider to be a big age gap. He's 37-38 and she turns 34 this year.

[nokidsmom]

1 minute ago, Bethella said:

I agree with most of your post but Kelly is only 3-4 years younger than he is which I don't consider to be a big age gap. He's 37-38 and she turns 34 this year.

At first, I also thought Kelly was much younger but thinking about it, namely that she married for the first time in 2006, realized she was actually older and reasonably close to this guy's ago.

[hoipolloi]

24 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Plus they idolize young marriage and producing as many babies as possible. A man proves his manliness by marrying a virgin and impregnating her as quickly and as often as possible.

Exhibit A: Kelly's marriage to Peter, complete with the Scott Brown seal of approval.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Too bad Kelly didn't marry a man in his 60s like Amanda Smith. Then she would be less likely to have another half dozen before menopause. But I feel bad for Amanda because she may never even have one. 

[browngrl]

I was surprised when Peter and Kelly got divorced. I was surprised to see that Peter agreed to the limited visitation with his children. I was surprised to see the Kelly has remarried. What won't surprise me:

* The new fundie husband will act a lot like her old fundie husband and her fundie father.

* It will come out that Peter has not been seeing the children and shortly after it will come out that the new husband has adopted his step children.

* Kelly will have more children. However, at 34 her fertility is probably on the decline so the pregnancies will likely be spaced out more and there will be more miscarriages and complications in between live births.

Anyway I hope the children are ok. They have been through a lot of changes in the past year or two and it looks like there are more changes to come.

[nokidsmom]

5 minutes ago, browngrl said:

It will come out that Peter has not been seeing the children and shortly after it will come out that the new husband has adopted his step children.

Being it seems that Peter agreed to limited as well as supervised visitation, I would not be surprised to see the above happening.

I don't know if Peter is being marginalized or if he agreed to the visitation arrangement out of any guilt as suggested by a post above thread, however, I do see this remarriage as possibly marginalizing him further.  Especially with him across the country and step dad is in the home, actively raising the kids.   And something that Scottie would be totally fine with. 

[formergothardite]

1 minute ago, nokidsmom said:

 And something that Scottie would be totally fine with. 

Scotting is going to try and make everyone forget Peter ever existed.

[nokidsmom]

Just now, formergothardite said:

Scotting is going to try and make everyone forget Peter ever existed.

Yep, my feeling exactly.   I think this remarriage is another step toward that.  Making sure his grandkids have a right proper fundie dad instead of the Big Disappointment that is Bradrick!

[Georgiana]

I'm 30 and going on a date with someone who is 37 tonight (first date!)...suddenly I feel uncomfortable about the age gap!  

But it works in my favor, right?  I'm the young, hot thing, RIGHT?!?! 

But honestly I'd probably wait a little longer to enter the serious dating game if I didn't have ovaries and want kids, so I'm not too bothered by an older man who has never married.  Some of us don't make it a priority when we are young OR have mountains of bullshit we need to dispose of before we're ready to enter the game.

Not that I believe the new Mr. Kelly Brown has done either.  

It's incredibly tragic, but I think we all knew this would be the outcome: in this world, an unmarried woman cannot survive.  She MUST be supported by a man.  So when she is left man-less, either through death or divorce, she MUST marry or remarry ASAP...which usually means to the first man who comes along.

And like at the watering holes of the Serengeti, all a savvy predator need do is successfully conceal himself and wait...and the prey will come to him, complete with a full registry.  

[Marian the Librarian]

I got married at age 54*, so I'm in absolutely no position to judge anyone else's if/when/with whom choices. As someone famous once said, "Age does not matter, unless you are a cheese."

I'm far more concerned with Mr. Ziegler's proven inability to recognize and respect appropriate boundaries -- and his "Golly gee whillikers, folks, I just don't get it!" response to getting sacked for persisting in proselytizing while serving as a public school teacher. He was given plenty of warnings and explanations. Whatever he's been doing for the past 13 years, I hope he's matured to the point of comprehending the fact that we all sometimes need to graciously accept "no" as an answer.

[*And yes, plenty of people thought there was something "wrong" with me. It was lots of fun to watch jaws drop when it happened ]

[hoipolloi]

21 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Scotting is going to try and make everyone forget Peter ever existed.

Surprised he hasn't done a more thorough scrubbing of his website although he did quietly drop the "marriage conferences" from the NCFIC schedule for a time.

Not to worry, though -- looks like he's going to be revving up that cash cow again in a few months:

Quote

5. Getting the Picture Right - In the summer we are conducting a marriage conference or couples married seven years and under, June 22-23, location, Brown’s barn.

Gee, couples married seven years and under? Would that include Mr. & Mrs. Ziegler?

[Nikedagain?]

3 hours ago, Howl said:

One of my dear friends married a guy who was still single in his late thirties and they have been happily married for almost 20 years.  Another friend is a pretty cool guy is in his early 50s and still single, but actively looking. It's not that being a never married is the problem.  It's the never married and all of the other issues with this guy and the overlay of what we know about patriarchy that is concerning.  Plus, once Kelly says I do, that's it for them.  No divorce, separation, annulment. 

 

[Howl]

2 hours ago, Bethella said:

I agree with most of your post but Kelly is only 3-4 years younger than he is which I don't consider to be a big age gap. He's 37-38 and she turns 34 this year.

Thanks for the clarification and that's some comfort that they are relatively close in age.  Wonder what his emotional age is? (sorry, I had a sudden fit of snark)

[Bethella]

Just now, Howl said:

Wonder what his emotional age is? (sorry, I had a sudden fit of snark)

I'm guessing his emotional age isn't much higher than hers- 20 or 21? If that.

[MamaJunebug]

3 hours ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Late marriage here (both 36) & the scrutiny that came with it was pretty bad. People assume that there is something wrong with you if you don’t marry by some magical age, which varies but seems to be around 30. It really bugged me. My hubby had to assure the priest who married us that he had no hidden love children that I did not know about. His mother practically kissed the ground in front of me when I met her, saying she was so, so happy he finally met someone. Hidden message - i’m so glad there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with you!

my family was maybe worse. Lots of little digs that I was too picky, strange or spoiled, maybe lesbian. Like I was not getting married just to spite people! The funny thing is we are going to be married 18 years soon & some of our critics are divorced now, some more than once.

my point is this guy may be an asshat in some regards but we don’t know why he did not marry til now. He may have simply been waiting for the right woman or the right time.

From your keypad to the universe’s ears. 

1 hour ago, Georgiana said:

And like at the watering holes of the Serengeti, all a savvy predator need do is successfully conceal himself and wait...and the prey will come to him, complete with a full registry.  

And thus my WTF Face response. 

[ElToro]

1 hour ago, Marian the Librarian said:

I'm far more concerned with Mr. Ziegler's proven inability to recognize and respect appropriate boundaries -- and his "Golly gee whillikers, folks, I just don't get it!" response to getting sacked for persisting in proselytizing while serving as a public school teacher. 

I thought it was interesting he made the Freudian slip of calling his dismissal a 'trial'. Like he was a poor, persecuted victim of a miscarriage of justice- not a contracted employee who was repeatedly warned about breaking some clearly stated rules..... Which were there to protect minors.

As for him personally? He seems to me to be a little too self-righteous to be a nice guy. Plus I'm always suspicious of people who do that weird eye-flutter blink thing....

[Augustus]

My great aunt married for the first time in her 80s. She was a good church going lady and I think just wanted a male companion to go on cruises with. Can't do that if you aren't married first. 

[singsingsing]

I still think there’s a huge difference between a ‘regular’ person having never married in their late 30s and a fundie male in the same situation. It’s a totally different scenario in my mind. There are implications for fundie males that just don’t exist for the secular crowd.

Trust me, I’m a millennial, people marrying later or not marrying at all is totally normal to me. I’m also about to turn 30 and I definitely won’t be married anytime soon, if ever. It’s his age PLUS the fact that he’s a fundie - his fundieness makes it a whole different ball game.