Joy and Austin (and Gideon) 22: When Nothing Much Happens

[LacyMay]

16 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

@LacyMay The only thing I can think of is Johanna wanted to be there?  

Enter shame face. TBH I didn't even consider that for a second but you're honestly probably right. I hope you're right. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

4 minutes ago, LacyMay said:

Enter shame face. TBH I didn't even consider that for a second but you're honestly probably right. I hope you're right. 

I don't know even if she'd wanted to be there you would think someone would use common sense and tell the twelve year old no especially after knowing how both Jill and Jessa's home births had ended up. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 minute ago, LacyMay said:

Enter shame face. TBH I didn't even consider that for a second but you're honestly probably right. I hope you're right. 

One thing we haven't seen them force on these girls, is watching births.  It seems that the girls who want to be there are there and the ones that don't aren't.  I hope they are asking before hand if they CAN be there. I don't know if I see Jinger wanting a full house of people while delivering, assuming she goes the home birth route. 

[LacyMay]

I'm on the fence I guess? I agree that if it were me (and it's not so my opinion is moot) I would be hesitant about hauling a 12 year old out of bed at 4 am to go watch a home birth knowing that there's been a recent pattern of complicated home births. 

BUT I feel better if Johannah asked and wanted to be there than if they brought her because she's the second oldest daughter now so it's her turn to be in the kitchen making food and bringing it into the bedroom (or tossing it through the door from a safe difference if she's a Jinger.) 
 

I'm not super comfortable with it either way. 

That said it's better than when Maddy Brown gave birth and the Kodester was hanging out during her labour (and potentially there for the birth?) That said I don't have kids, maybe having your dad in the room is a common thing? 

[AliceInFundyland]

I think Maddie was so exhausted that Robyn, Christine, Janelle and Kody lucked into the birth room. She originally said it would be her, Caleb, and midwife. It was pretty cute that two of the younger girls also were seemingly into it and hung out till the end. And made for a great shot when the camera got kicked out with them as she finally gives birth. The joy on their little faces was precious. I hope Johannah was equally jazzed.

[J'Lurker]

I actually think little Giddy looks like a straight-up Duggar baby... both the Ms and Dillards; Spurgey and H.Willby look like Jessa who I see as looking the least like her siblings. I was honestly shocked everyone saw Austin! I can sort of see the resemblance in the picture he's looking up at his dad but... 

I guess I see faces weird?

[nastyhobbitses]

This might be revving up the speculation bus, but it's just something that's been bugging me: Joy and Carlin Bates are/were best buddies, to the point where Carlin was one of Joy's bridesmaids, they took pictures together at Tori's wedding, and the Bateses (Carlin and Kelly/Gil) have wished Joy happy birthday and said plenty of lovely things about her. And now...radio silence. Maybe it's the Dueling Networks, maybe Carlin is too busy making creepy handmaid eyes at Fundie Zoolander to post about her friend having a baby (given Carlin's love of being the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral, you'd think she'd have a gushing post or two about being an HONORARY AUNTIE!!!111!!! to her BFF's baybeeeeee where she poses with Gideon with that open-mouth ain't-I-quirky smile thing she does), but what gives? Has Joy just sort of ghosted all of her friends (Sierra as well) now that she has Austin? Are these friendships just more private now? I hope it's that. Everyone needs friends. 

[Kangaroo]

2 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

This might be revving up the speculation bus, but it's just something that's been bugging me: Joy and Carlin Bates are/were best buddies, to the point where Carlin was one of Joy's bridesmaids, they took pictures together at Tori's wedding, and the Bateses (Carlin and Kelly/Gil) have wished Joy happy birthday and said plenty of lovely things about her. And now...radio silence. Maybe it's the Dueling Networks, maybe Carlin is too busy making creepy handmaid eyes at Fundie Zoolander to post about her friend having a baby (given Carlin's love of being the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral, you'd think she'd have a gushing post or two about being an HONORARY AUNTIE!!!111!!! to her BFF's baybeeeeee where she poses with Gideon with that open-mouth ain't-I-quirky smile thing she does), but what gives? Has Joy just sort of ghosted all of her friends (Sierra as well) now that she has Austin? Are these friendships just more private now? I hope it's that. Everyone needs friends. 

Just the other day Carlin commented on Joy's Instagram and said she couldn't believe she hadn't met Gideon yet.

Just because they haven't publicly shared photos doesn't mean they haven't been in contact. We've also seen in BuB and CO episodes they can't actually mention or show each other, and that may extend to public social media where possible.

Carlin lives in a different state and has her Clown College classes and Fundie Zoolander. Sierra just had a baby and has a gaggle of kids to attend to. Joy was a pregnant newlywed renovating a house and now has a newborn. They're busy people, so lack of social media doesn't really indicate much.

 

[Rachel333]

5 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

I think Maddie was so exhausted that Robyn, Christine, Janelle and Kody lucked into the birth room. She originally said it would be her, Caleb, and midwife. It was pretty cute that two of the younger girls also were seemingly into it and hung out till the end. And made for a great shot when the camera got kicked out with them as she finally gives birth. The joy on their little faces was precious. I hope Johannah was equally jazzed.

To me the idea of laboring and giving birth at home with a crowd of people who pulled folding chairs into the room to watch is horrifying, but I think she was ultimately okay with it (apparently she asked about Meri being there too) and I found it pretty sweet that Maddie had so many people there who loved and supported her.

[Meggo]

On ‎3‎/‎24‎/‎2018 at 4:23 PM, Runningfromreality said:

Infertility can be really really painful even if you're raised in a culture or family where it's okay to not have children and you have a lot of other life goals. We just started going to an infertility specialist because I have a congenital abnormality in my uterus that might be treatable but might also cause problems with pregnancies. We haven't even been told we can't conceive and it's still painful to watch other people have easy, healthy pregnancies. With a fulfilling marriage, career, and hobbies it would still be crushing to me if we had more problems. I can't imagine how much more painful it would be if you thought God was punishing you for your actions. 

Agreed. We tried to get pregnant for years. We did a few IVFs, multiple IUIs - good old fashion boot-knockin' and... it's horribly painful. It almost cost me my marriage. We turned to adoption - and of course - that's no sure thing either. 

It's extremely painful even with everything else we had going for us. I know when I was out of work for nearly a year too - and not pregnant - it was even harder - I had NOTHING to focus on besides getting a job and maybe getting pregnant. And I can't imagine being fundie and thinking I had to have a mess of kids to make God happy or something. Ugh. 

[LacyMay]

I wasn't as surprised about the moms being there, for the older kids they really did grow up with all 3 of them as their moms (especially Janelles since she worked and Christine was super involved from the get go) And Robyn has always seemed to have a special bond with most of the older girls. Honest the only one that surprised me was Kody being there till the bitter end and like actively involved, is that a thing? Having the grandpa in the room? I might be biased because me and my dad aren't close but it just seemed strange. Not even King Jim Bob was around for the 10 grand baby births (that I know of)

 

I genuinely think for Joy and Carlin it's just a combination of busyness and having private lives. I really think some of them have private social media accounts that we don't know about in addition to the obvious smart phones with calling/texting/Skype etc. 

[Four is Enough]

I haven't been keeping up with this thread, so, some observations:
 

I had endometriosis, and had some large cysts removed from my uterus. The surgeon informed me that I shouldn't labor, should I become pregnant, as the chance of my rupturing the uterine wall would be very high, given the location of the   scar and the way it cut across several bands of uterine muscle. A typical C section scar runs parallel to the uterine muscles,     usually.

Love Gideon's side eye and expressions.

I watched part of the wedding (Kendra/Joe) episode, and saw the tearful exchange between Joy and JOe.. I guess I"m thankful she has one big brother that she truly loves and looks up to.

OF course, looking at Joe leaving notes for his siblings on "his last day in the bedroom" I noticed how those built in bunks are JUST. SO. DEPRESSING. Jails have better bed systems than the Duggars.

I fervently hope that there will be no more Duggar baby announcements before 2019. I know. Wishful thinking.

 

ETA: and finally, HOW OLD is Josie? When she was decorating that cake with flowers, the things she said, I expected from a three year old. Is that her "cute act?" Isn't she about 8?

[viii]

14 hours ago, LacyMay said:

I finally watched the Joy minisode, and am I the only one who was a little sad to see Johannah there? Maybe not there... but the idea of them hauling a 12 year old out of bed at 4am to go attend a birth seems ludicrous. And what turned out to be a difficult labour and turned into a trip to the hospital for an emergency c section. She's just so young and I don't doubt for a second that she was brought to help and observe not just to be around. I don't know how much sense that makes but hopefully some. 

 

10 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

@LacyMay The only thing I can think of is Johanna wanted to be there?  

I sincerely hope that Johanna was only there because she wanted to, because otherwise I feel like it would be a scary experience for her. These girls are raised from birth knowing that their role in life is to be mothers and wives, and to see her big sister struggle for hours on end and then wind up with an emergency c-section.... poor thing is probably apprehensive of her own time in the future. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

44 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

ETA: and finally, HOW OLD is Josie? When she was decorating that cake with flowers, the things she said, I expected from a three year old. Is that her "cute act?" Isn't she about 8?

Good luck - I got blasted for saying something about the way Josie speaks/acts a few months ago. lol

[Audrey2]

@nastyhobbitses, Joy has just entered another season of life. It's possible that she and Carlin will be closer again, after Carlin is a married mother. That would return both to the same season of life.

 

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

 

 

ETA: and finally, HOW OLD is Josie? When she was decorating that cake with flowers, the things she said, I expected from a three year old. Is that her "cute act?" Isn't she about 8?

Josie will be 9 in December. 

[Lurky]

On 3/26/2018 at 5:53 AM, ophelia said:

Wow, Joy is heavily drenched in the koolaid. This really scares me! She is still so young and she and Austin seem so hardcore fundie that they'll might end up with the biggest quiver of the Duggar siblings.

Yeah, the thing I thought about when I saw that month-sheet was that she could easily end up with Gideon on his 1sr birthday next to a baby sibling...

[freethemall]

14 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

I think Maddie was so exhausted that Robyn, Christine, Janelle and Kody lucked into the birth room. She originally said it would be her, Caleb, and midwife. It was pretty cute that two of the younger girls also were seemingly into it and hung out till the end. And made for a great shot when the camera got kicked out with them as she finally gives birth. The joy on their little faces was precious. I hope Johannah was equally jazzed.

Man I was just in the Sister Wives threads and am tired (3pm-work day slump) so was so confused when I saw this here, like "wait did I click into the wrong thread didn't I just read this." I guess we're comparing home births? In the Sister Wives thread I mentioned Maddie's is a more ideal example of a home birth, with no complications (though in a later episode Janelle casually mentions something about her hemorrhaging during the placenta birth, that was not explained), no hospital transfer, and a competent midwife (albeit one who left after stripping the membranes to somewhere an hour away). I think Maddie researched having a home birth much more than Joy did, who seems to have done it just because her older sisters did it and so it was the thing to do.

14 hours ago, LacyMay said:

That said it's better than when Maddy Brown gave birth and the Kodester was hanging out during her labour (and potentially there for the birth?) That said I don't have kids, maybe having your dad in the room is a common thing? 

Kody was definitely in there, when the cameras were outside the room but the mics were still on you can hear him say something when the shoulders out for Maddy's husband to take a look. The idea of my dad seeing my vagina ripping apart grosses me out to no end, I could barely stand having my mom see that.

Kody also kept reminding us how he has coached through many of the children's births, and thus makes several comments at Maddy that would have driven me bonkers. Like at one point he tells her to relax her face and to relax in general. I would have lost it. He also makes predictions on the first night of early labor that she'll give birth by 2am - considering it was another 60 or so he was clearly wrong.

I won't even start about Meri's sobfest about not being in the room, she is just so....#$#@)#@$

[Ivycoveredtower]

13 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Man I was just in the Sister Wives threads and am tired (3pm-work day slump) so was so confused when I saw this here, like "wait did I click into the wrong thread didn't I just read this." I guess we're comparing home births? In the Sister Wives thread I mentioned Maddie's is a more ideal example of a home birth, with no complications (though in a later episode Janelle casually mentions something about her hemorrhaging during the placenta birth, that was not explained), no hospital transfer, and a competent midwife (albeit one who left after stripping the membranes to somewhere an hour away). I think Maddie researched having a home birth much more than Joy did, who seems to have done it just because her older sisters did it and so it was the thing to do.

 

plus Maddie had a husband that basically said fuck this if I Have to I"ll step in and she's going to the hospital. 

[AtlanticTug]

4 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Good luck - I got blasted for saying something about the way Josie speaks/acts a few months ago. lol

Not a judgment on Josie at all, she's just a child.

BUT she was a micro preemie and statistically speaking she almost certainly has, at a minimum, learning disabilities + special needs we are not aware of. There is nothing wrong with that and there are wonderful early intervention programs that have great results, the earlier the better. I am the Mom of a preemie so I have had to be diligent and keep a watchful eye on milestones and so on. I don't believe the Duggars have done much, I guess we can give them the benefit of the doubt and say they are doing it privately for Josie. But I know that if she were my child, I'd have massive concerns. My fear with them is that the "Josie is a miracle" combined with "The Lord will provide" would result in them just sitting back and not going to the ends of the earth to make sure she had access to every possible resource.

[Bad Wolf]

Sadly, she doesn't need every resource, she just needs to know enough to be a wife and mother. Early intervention is great. Grand wolf 2 has had speech therapy for a long time.

[Glasgowghirl]

I think Michelle and Jim Bob baby Josie so even if she isn't behind developmentally due to her premature birth she is still being treated like a young child. I think she should have had some speech therapy and maybe a qualified tutor for school work would have benefited her and the other kids. 

 

[tabitha2]

Even if she never married Josie will always be taken care of by her parents then siblings  with access to whatever medical care or other resources she might need. I my opinion She will always be doted on,  spoiled  and never really made to strive for more. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

8 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

Even if she never married Josie will always be taken care of by her parents then siblings  with access to whatever medical care or other resources she might need. I my opinion She will always be doted on,  spoiled  and never really made to strive for more. 

I wonder how it would have all turned out if Jubilee had lived. would Josie be a lost girl or would she still be doted on because of her miracle status

[Glasgowghirl]

3 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I wonder how it would have all turned out if Jubilee had lived. would Josie be a lost girl or would she still be doted on because of her miracle status

I think she would have been treated slightly better than her sisters but Jubilee would have still been the favoured child.