Joy and Austin (and Gideon) 22: When Nothing Much Happens

[HarleyQuinn]

I think Jeremy seems controlling but I don't think he tells Jinger what to wear, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if at one point Jinger asked him what his favorite clothes on a woman are and he gave a very specific answer. 

I do think the Nike shoes were his doing though. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

4 hours ago, Scrabblemaster said:

There are definitely times I wear clothes because I know that Mr. S. likes them. Or because he thinks I Iook good in them. But the main reason for clothes being in my wardrobe is because I like them. Not because he told me I should buy them.  So I am not obeying him with wearing clothes he likes. And this is not a one-way street. Mr. S. wears clothes because he knows that I like them, or that I think he looks absolutely gorgeous and hot wearing them. So we both like to look good for the other one. (I like to look good for myself, I am not sure why I am writing this, this should be normal.)  And we do ask for advice with our clothes choice when we go out. And we both do tell the other one that this specific item would not be a great idea on that occasion. I only ask him for his advice, when I know I can accept his choice. And yes: During our last holiday I bought a dress that has my favourite colour, I think I look absolutely gorgeous and he DISAGREES with me. I bought it nevertheless. 

I assume that for most of us here in FJ it works both ways. The question is: Would Jeremy ask Jinger for advice on his clothes? Would she tell him that she does not like that specific pullover? The question I asked myself during this thread was: Does Jinger have a say in Jeremy's clothing? 

I think she does. I remember during the tell all before they married Jessa was teasing Jeremy that after they married JInger made a pack not to shop anymore. and Jeremy didn't like that because he liked it when JInger would pick out clothes for him. so I think even when they were courting Jinger would find things she liked for Jeremy and send them to him. 

[Scrabblemaster]

Thanks I did not remember that. Most of the times I only read the recaps, I cannot watch the episodes because I Iive in Germany. It's sort of funny to know that Jeremy liked it when Jinger picked out clothes for him. That makes him look quite normal, I know many men who like it when their wives or girlfriends pick out their clothes. One could easily forget about his hateful beliefs. Thankfully he reminds us on a regular basis.

I know this is the Joy and Austin thread. But I have no opinion about their clothes, so I will leave it like this. 

[Jellybean]

I know loads of people who buy clothes (or choose clothes) for their partners, but beyond the occasional tie, scarves, and cufflinks, I don’t think I’ve ever bought clothes for Husbean. He has great style and will always come home and show me what he’s bought. There have been a couple of times when I’ve suggested that something doesn’t fit quite right (in a way that I couldn’t fix without dismantling the entire garment, if at all) or when I’ve suggested that it doesn’t go with anything else in his wardrobe. Advice on the former is often heeded; advice on the latter, only sometimes. If he’s not sure, Husbean might buy more than one item and ask for my opinions on which to keep and which to return (this is sometimes also a “can you alter this?” situation). Apart from those examples, and making the aforementioned alterations, I have very little input into the process.

Now that I’ve started thinking about it, I’m interested in the other Duggar couples - how much influence do you think they have on each other’s style and clothing choices? Individual outfits? Does Jessa buy/choose Ben’s clothes and/or vice versa? What about Joy and Austin? Anna and Josh? Jill and Derick? I haven’t pondered Siren (Si-Lo-Ren?) or Joken, but only because I don’t know much about them - feel free to offer opinions if you have them!

[Ivycoveredtower]

17 minutes ago, Jellybean said:

I know loads of people who buy clothes (or choose clothes) for their partners, but beyond the occasional tie, scarves, and cufflinks, I don’t think I’ve ever bought clothes for Husbean. He has great style and will always come home and show me what he’s bought. There have been a couple of times when I’ve suggested that something doesn’t fit quite right (in a way that I couldn’t fix without dismantling the entire garment, if at all) or when I’ve suggested that it doesn’t go with anything else in his wardrobe. Advice on the former is often heeded; advice on the latter, only sometimes. If he’s not sure, Husbean might buy more than one item and ask for my opinions on which to keep and which to return (this is sometimes also a “can you alter this?” situation). Apart from those examples, and making the aforementioned alterations, I have very little input into the process.

Now that I’ve started thinking about it, I’m interested in the other Duggar couples - how much influence do you think they have on each other’s style and clothing choices? Individual outfits? Does Jessa buy/choose Ben’s clothes and/or vice versa? What about Joy and Austin? Anna and Josh? Jill and Derick? I haven’t pondered Siren (Si-Lo-Ren?) or Joken, but only because I don’t know much about them - feel free to offer opinions if you have them!

oh lord I hope Jessa doesn't dress Ben  his clothing choices suck.  I think JInjer is just fascinating because Jinger has always been the fashionable one and they talk about that alot. 

[Four is Enough]

Do I wear things that  Mr. Four tells me he likes?

 

Only if I like it as well. BECAUSE:

 

Once he asked me to try my hair "the way my mommy wears hers"

 

and I nearly divorced him on the spot. She had the "I got married in 1947 and haven't changed my hairdo since" style. 

and EWWWWWW.

[Shadoewolf]

I buy Hubby clothes all the time but I don't worry because his style is just comfy soft t-shirts, jeans or track pants, and sneakers. I bought him work clothes last month (he questioned the cargo pants at first because of the commercial kitchen but now he loves them), and several newly released t-shirts of bands I know he likes. He doesn't reciprocate though, not that kind of guy. 

[melon]

16 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Do I wear things that  Mr. Four tells me he likes?

 

Only if I like it as well. BECAUSE:

 

Once he asked me to try my hair "the way my mommy wears hers"

 

and I nearly divorced him on the spot. She had the "I got married in 1947 and haven't changed my hairdo since" style. 

and EWWWWWW.

I had the same reaction when Mr.Melon tried to get me to wear polyester pants.I think I'd rather wear pajamas to Walmart.

 

[Kailash]

10 hours ago, Shadoewolf said:

I buy Hubby clothes all the time but I don't worry because his style is just comfy soft t-shirts, jeans or track pants, and sneakers. I bought him work clothes last month (he questioned the cargo pants at first because of the commercial kitchen but now he loves them), and several newly released t-shirts of bands I know he likes. He doesn't reciprocate though, not that kind of guy. 

Yes, this describes my marriage as well. I buy almost all of husband’s clothes. He wears solid color polos, cargo shorts and the same style of shoe that he’s worn for years. He would never feel comfortable picking any clothes to buy for me. 

Eta: Wait!! I lied about that last bit. He once ordered T-shirts for me online that said things like “Ask Me About My Cats” and a picture of a half cat half mermaid (a purmaid lol). I love them and wear them often.

[Daisy0322]

My husband doesn't pick out clothes for me often but he is awesome at it! I buy a lot of his clothes just because he doesn't like to shop and he could care less.

[SapphireSlytherin]

MrSlytherin goes clothes-shopping with me to keep me from buying "Emily" clothes (Gilmore Girls reference). He says I'm not that old yet. lol

[feministxtian]

Pretty much everything Mr Xtian wears is selected and bought by yours truly. I mean everything!! I take him with me when I shop mostly because I usually look like a bag lady!

[Kelsey]

4 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

My husband doesn't pick out clothes for me often but he is awesome at it! I buy a lot of his clothes just because he doesn't like to shop and he could care less.

This is basically how our marriage works as well.

[TheRadleyPorch]

I agree with @Georgiana that JD might be one to break away. I think he already disagrees with his parents and their lifestyle in multiple ways, and his dry humor/sarcasm is a way of expressing it without being too open about it. I noticed it with Joe's wedding prep and the advice he gave to them in the most recent episode to "not rush things" and "just enjoy each other" or something like that. Something else that stood out to me for some reason was when he and Joe were decorating the table for Kendra's birthday and JD pulled out some LED candles and said oh so dryly "wooow CANdles how roMANtic." I felt like he was internally rolling his eyes real hard at the whole over the top fundie courtship charade (side note, these little fascinating moments of people watching are why I watch the show instead of just reading the recaps). Also, you never really hear him talk about God like the other Duggars do. I think JD toes the line for now, but his internal life is his own and he's biding his time til that can become more actualized (probably with marriage). 

Also, we talk about the kids "breaking away" as though the only window for it is their teen years and as soon as they're married and moved out, the door shuts. I actually think it's much more likely that a married couple will gradually change their beliefs together, maybe even drastically over the course of several years. And sometimes it's the most ardent believers who will do a 180 because they're truly curious and intellectually and emotionally involved in their beliefs, and as they continue to explore their beliefs and seek to understand theology more and more, the cognitive dissonance grows too until they can't ignore it and they start secretly and ashamedly reading Christopher Hitchens in the prayer closet. First they start questioning their beliefs because they desperately want to hear an argument that reconfirms them, and they might double down for awhile but then they're just never quite satisfied with the answer and it just keeps nagging and nagging...

That's just one scenario of course and sometimes people just double down and never let anything else in. It's just a temperament thing. But I wouldn't be surprised if we saw one or more of the Duggar kids go in a VERY different direction as the years go by. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

5 minutes ago, TheRadleyPorch said:

I agree with @Georgiana that JD might be one to break away. I think he already disagrees with his parents and their lifestyle in multiple ways, and his dry humor/sarcasm is a way of expressing it without being too open about it. I noticed it with Joe's wedding prep and the advice he gave to them in the most recent episode to "not rush things" and "just enjoy each other" or something like that. Something else that stood out to me for some reason was when he and Joe were decorating the table for Kendra's birthday and JD pulled out some LED candles and said oh so dryly "wooow CANdles how roMANtic." I felt like he was internally rolling his eyes real hard at the whole over the top fundie courtship charade (side note, these little fascinating moments of people watching are why I watch the show instead of just reading the recaps). Also, you never really hear him talk about God like the other Duggars do. I think JD toes the line for now, but his internal life is his own and he's biding his time til that can become more actualized (probably with marriage). 

Also, we talk about the kids "breaking away" as though the only window for it is their teen years and as soon as they're married and moved out, the door shuts. I actually think it's much more likely that a married couple will gradually change their beliefs together, maybe even drastically over the course of several years. And sometimes it's the most ardent believers who will do a 180 because they're truly curious and intellectually and emotionally involved in their beliefs, and as they continue to explore their beliefs and seek to understand theology more and more, the cognitive dissonance grows too until they can't ignore it and they start secretly and ashamedly reading Christopher Hitchens in the prayer closet. First they start questioning their beliefs because they desperately want to hear an argument that reconfirms them, and they might double down for awhile but then they're just never quite satisfied with the answer and it just keeps nagging and nagging...

That's just one scenario of course and sometimes people just double down and never let anything else in. It's just a temperament thing. But I wouldn't be surprised if we saw one or more of the Duggar kids go in a VERY different direction as the years go by. 

on the JD front I always found it interesting that JD really did seem to come after Josh when counting on came out. he flat out said that he told Josh he didn't want to be like him anymore. he didn't sugar coat it like the other Duggars seemed to do. 

[Glasgowghirl]

34 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

on the JD front I always found it interesting that JD really did seem to come after Josh when counting on came out. he flat out said that he told Josh he didn't want to be like him anymore. he didn't sugar coat it like the other Duggars seemed to do. 

Yes, JD in the early years of the show seemed to be in Josh's shadow. Josh was painted as the golden boy and JD helped Josh a lot running the car lot and his brother, who just a couple a few years earlier had abused his sisters, was getting the attention. JD was probably glad to finally express how he felt about Josh, being raised to always forgive and speak kind of others, it was good to hear him go against that and be honest about it. JD and Jana are the ones running the house, doing what Jim Bob and Michelle claims to be doing.

[Jana814]

I was very proud of JD when he said what he did about Josh. He didn't hold it in. 

[tabitha2]

I do think it’s not going to be anything drastic or shocking regarding “breaking away”. More likely sending their 6 kids to private Christian school, Wine with dinner and Pants. They will still mostly have the same beliefs they have now. And I don’t see any Adult Duggar female married or otherwise being motivated or disciplined enough to work employed outside  the home. Jessa won’t even follow a recipe for Pete’s sakes and Duggar time doesn’t work in the real world  

[lizzybee]

I'll add something that I think could be an additional consideration as Jinger's role as a pastor's wife. Especially since Jeremy mentioned skirt wearing in a sermon. It may have been something to consider, particularly if neither Jeremy or Jinger believe skirt wearing is a salvation issue, that the pastor's wife not be an exclusive skirt wearer. If the congregation looks to emulate the behavior and beliefs of the pastor's family, Jeremy ( & Jinger) might have felt some concern that Jinger in full-time skirts would make the women of the congregation feel as though that would be an unspoken standard for them to mimic. 

This conversation in and of itself could have given Jinger an excuse to branch out in a way she might not have considered before. I think this could have gone hand and hand with her wanting to do it anyway. Jeremy being not just comfortable with her making the choice to dress more mainstream, but encouraged it, and then her feeling freer to do something she probably wanted to do anyway without feeling that she was full-on rebelling against the standards of her parents. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

12 minutes ago, lizzybee said:

I'll add something that I think could be an additional consideration as Jinger's role as a pastor's wife. Especially since Jeremy mentioned skirt wearing in a sermon. It may have been something to consider, particularly if neither Jeremy or Jinger believe skirt wearing is a salvation issue, that the pastor's wife not be an exclusive skirt wearer. If the congregation looks to emulate the behavior and beliefs of the pastor's family, Jeremy ( & Jinger) might have felt some concern that Jinger in full-time skirts would make the women of the congregation feel as though that would be an unspoken standard for them to mimic. 

This conversation in and of itself could have given Jinger an excuse to branch out in a way she might not have considered before. I think this could have gone hand and hand with her wanting to do it anyway. Jeremy being not just comfortable with her making the choice to dress more mainstream, but encouraged it, and then her feeling freer to do something she probably wanted to do anyway without feeling that she was full-on rebelling against the standards of her parents. 

interesting theory doesn't Jeremy's church also condone the use of birth control. I thought I remembered something about that in one of the threads awhile back. 

[LacyMay]

I think it's almost more likely to see an adult or married Duggar slowly drift away for the sole reason that the married Duggars have more opportunity for financial independence. Even if they don't have it at the time of marriage they have some chance to acquire it (IE Ben and Jessa are currently financially dependent on JB but might not be in 5 years time) A teenager especially in that culture has pretty limited options for leaving. Where do they go? Who do they stay with? Etc 

I definitely think JD is a likely candidate for a little bit of drift, even if it's just a more mainstream fundamentalist Zach Bates kind of drift where the beliefs are still there but some of the lifestyle choices (wife in pants, tv, an actual job) have changed. 

[just_ordinary]

6 hours ago, lizzybee said:

I'll add something that I think could be an additional consideration as Jinger's role as a pastor's wife. Especially since Jeremy mentioned skirt wearing in a sermon. It may have been something to consider, particularly if neither Jeremy or Jinger believe skirt wearing is a salvation issue, that the pastor's wife not be an exclusive skirt wearer. If the congregation looks to emulate the behavior and beliefs of the pastor's family, Jeremy ( & Jinger) might have felt some concern that Jinger in full-time skirts would make the women of the congregation feel as though that would be an unspoken standard for them to mimic. 

This conversation in and of itself could have given Jinger an excuse to branch out in a way she might not have considered before. I think this could have gone hand and hand with her wanting to do it anyway. Jeremy being not just comfortable with her making the choice to dress more mainstream, but encouraged it, and then her feeling freer to do something she probably wanted to do anyway without feeling that she was full-on rebelling against the standards of her parents. 

Is that still a thing though? Mimicking the pastor’s wife? To me that sounds like something that stopped at least in the 1960s. 

[LacyMay]

3 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

Is that still a thing though? Mimicking the pastor’s wife? To me that sounds like something that stopped at least in the 1960s. 

I don't think of it so much as mimicking the individual as much as a perceived pressure to mimic the standard that they set. 

So if the pastors wife wears only dresses and always has her hair up there might be feelings that that is the "correct" way to dress or style ones hair. 

[just_ordinary]

16 minutes ago, LacyMay said:

I don't think of it so much as mimicking the individual as much as a perceived pressure to mimic the standard that they set. 

So if the pastors wife wears only dresses and always has her hair up there might be feelings that that is the "correct" way to dress or style ones hair. 

But why would someone think how the pastor’s wife dresses or does her hair is more than just personal preference? If your church has guidelines that is one thing and of course you would expect the pastor and his wife to follow them. But that is a different starting point. 

Who still believes a pastor’s wife sets a standard in the community fashion wise? That sounds so olden days where this was kind of a job and a position of power. But those days are long over. I get some individuals are easily influenced by other people but for a whole community? I don’t even know my pastor’s wife (not involved enough for that and I believe I heard she has her own job anyway) nor does anyone care what people wear to church. As long as you are not wearing a bikini and probably not showing your ass cheeks, boobs or belly button. And we are certainly not an especially progressive church (not exactly sure though- as I said not involved enough).

[Nargus]

5 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

But why would someone think how the pastor’s wife dresses or does her hair is more than just personal preference? If your church has guidelines that is one thing and of course you would expect the pastor and his wife to follow them. But that is a different starting point. 

Who still believes a pastor’s wife sets a standard in the community fashion wise? That sounds so olden days where this was kind of a job and a position of power. But those days are long over. I get some individuals are easily influenced by other people but for a whole community? I don’t even know my pastor’s wife (not involved enough for that and I believe I heard she has her own job anyway) nor does anyone care what people wear to church. As long as you are not wearing a bikini and probably not showing your ass cheeks, boobs or belly button. And we are certainly not an especially progressive church (not exactly sure though- as I said not involved enough).

But the pastor in question is Jeremy. He probably wants to think that his wife sets some kind of attainable fashion standard for the women of his congregation.  They're more high profile than 99.9% of pastor/wife combos.  Anyone can tune into TLC and see how his wife dresses.  He probably thinks that matters.