Joy and Austin (and Gideon) 22: When Nothing Much Happens

[FundaMental]

15 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

I think she would have been treated slightly better than her sisters but Jubilee would have still been the favoured child.

Am I the only one who feels like they place Jubilee at a higher standard than their actual children? They seem more concerned with the 'blessings' that God took away rather than the 'blessings' that he gave them. 

I also find it weird that although they act incredibly pro-life and insist that a baby is a baby regardless of their size, they mention Jubilee often and NEVER mention Caleb. Caleb doesn't get those yearly Facebook dedications that Jubilee does, even though with their logic he's just as important. Forgive me if I'm being insensitive towards their loss, but I find their hypocrisy irritating.

[viii]

I agree with you. I can't imagine that either loss was easy, but with their beliefs, they should really place the same emphasis on Caleb as they do with Jubilee, since they believe life begins at conception. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

9 minutes ago, FundaMental said:

Am I the only one who feels like they place Jubilee at a higher standard than their actual children? They seem more concerned with the 'blessings' that God took away rather than the 'blessings' that he gave them. 

I also find it weird that although they act incredibly pro-life and insist that a baby is a baby regardless of their size, they mention Jubilee often and NEVER mention Caleb. Caleb doesn't get those yearly Facebook dedications that Jubilee does, even though with their logic he's just as important. Forgive me if I'm being insensitive towards their loss, but I find their hypocrisy irritating.

honestly sometimes I think Caleb never happened  and they made him up to justify their quiver. (oh a doctor told me it was because of birth control) plus I don't remember hearing about Caleb until after Jubilee. you would think they would milk that for all it's worth. iirc Michelle had to record her message at Jubilee's funeral twice because she forgot Caleb the first time 

[Glasgowghirl]

6 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

honestly sometimes I think Caleb never happened  and they made him up to justify their quiver. (oh a doctor told me it was because of birth control) plus I don't remember hearing about Celeb until after Jubilee. you would think they would milk that for all it's worth. iirc Michelle had to record her message at Jubilee's funeral twice because she forgot Caleb the first time 

I remember reading about her misscarrying a child they named Caleb before she lost Jubilee. I think because she had to deliver Jubilee and with Caleb she was only a few weeks along, she feels stronger pain. While a doctor may have said her contraceptives may have caused her to miscarry, I doubt they said for definite it was to blame. 

I can sympathise with them losing two children but that doesn't excuse them failing the 19 they chose to have. 

[Chocolatecheesecake]

I think living in a camper as newlyweds with Joy being pregnant for several weeks (or months?) must have been difficult. Joy does not seem like a very high maintenence girl, but still... I would have been extremely unhappy with that situation. I'm glad they at least finished the house in time for Gideon. I wonder why JimBob didn't make wait to get married until that house was done. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

3 minutes ago, Chocolatecheesecake said:

I think living in a camper as newlyweds with Joy being pregnant for several weeks (or months?) must have been difficult. Joy does not seem like a very high maintenence girl, but still... I would have been extremely unhappy with that situation. I'm glad they at least finished the house in time for Gideon. I wonder why JimBob didn't make wait to get married until that house was done. 

no way Jim Bob would make them wait. if for no other reason then they NEEDED that wedding for counting on.  without Joy's wedding they wouldn't have anything but the joken courtship that season. 

[viii]

I'm just surprised that they're planning on having a lot of children and own such a small home. 

[justoneoftwo]

12 minutes ago, Chocolatecheesecake said:

I think living in a camper as newlyweds with Joy being pregnant for several weeks (or months?) must have been difficult. Joy does not seem like a very high maintenence girl, but still... I would have been extremely unhappy with that situation. I'm glad they at least finished the house in time for Gideon. I wonder why JimBob didn't make wait to get married until that house was done. 

Didn't she say something about not being able to be in the kitchen?  Maybe that was someone else.  

Even low maintenance can be difficult when pregnant.  Maybe this is why they were saying things about the magic not lasting.  Its sad, many people look back on those kinds of hardships as something that brings them together.

[Ivycoveredtower]

Just now, viii said:

I'm just surprised that they're planning on having a lot of children and own such a small home. 

it is a bit baffling, with Joy and Austin I can see them selling that house and buying a bigger one but it's par to the core look at the little house that the Duggar's lived in before the TTH. Jessa is in a two bedroom. Josh and Anna were in the house until after Marcus. not sure how big Zach and whit's new house is but  I believe their rental was only two rooms. Cherin is squeezing three under three in that one room. 

1 minute ago, justoneoftwo said:

Didn't she say something about not being able to be in the kitchen?  Maybe that was someone else.  

Even low maintenance can be difficult when pregnant.  Maybe this is why they were saying things about the magic not lasting.  Its sad, many people look back on those kinds of hardships as something that brings them together.

not sure about Joy but JInger said she couldn't stand being in the kitchen for a few months and so they had take out for awhile. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

My next-door neighbors raised 11 kids in a two-bedroom in the 1950s (very Catholic family). My dad and his two brothers were raised in a two-bedroom home. My friends raised their four kids in a three-bedroom house. 

It can be done.

 

[FundaMental]

5 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

My next-door neighbors raised 11 kids in a two-bedroom in the 1950s (very Catholic family). My dad and his two brothers were raised in a two-bedroom home. My friends raised their four kids in a three-bedroom house. 

It can be done.

 

Ahh! I can't imagine sharing a bedroom with 10 siblings. 

[Sky with diamonds]

I hope Johanna wanted to be there...for Joy. Maybe she will end up being a midwife? 

 

[FundaMental]

4 minutes ago, Sky with diamonds said:

I hope Johanna wanted to be there...for Joy. Maybe she will end up being a midwife? 

 

If she wants a career I can't imagine she'll be encouraged to try anything but midwifery. After all, men look after the machines, women look after the babies - duh!

[Ivycoveredtower]

4 minutes ago, FundaMental said:

If she wants a career I can't imagine she'll be encouraged to try anything but midwifery. After all, men look after the machines, women look after the babies - duh!

maybe she'll get lucky and be able to do something like Josie Bates and danielle seewald are doing. cosmetology seems to be very fundie approved right now.  

[FundaMental]

Just now, Ivycoveredtower said:

maybe she'll get lucky and be able to do something like Josie Bates and danielle seewald are doing. cosmetology seems to be very fundie approved right now.  

I'd like to see a fundie woman go into STEM. It'll never happen, but I'm just imagining how their family would react if it did.

[Nargus]

1 minute ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

maybe she'll get lucky and be able to do something like Josie Bates and danielle seewald are doing. cosmetology seems to be very fundie approved right now.  

Because they have to be pretty while they're birthing all them blessings.

[Sky with diamonds]

7 minutes ago, FundaMental said:

If she wants a career I can't imagine she'll be encouraged to try anything but midwifery. After all, men look after the machines, women look after the babies - duh!

The Duggar way. 

3 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

maybe she'll get lucky and be able to do something like Josie Bates and danielle seewald are doing. cosmetology seems to be very fundie approved right now.  

I can't see that happen for Johanna. I'm sure she will be married of pretty quickly like the older Duggar daughters and it will be wife and Mother duties only.

[nickelodeon]

50 minutes ago, viii said:

I'm just surprised that they're planning on having a lot of children and own such a small home. 

All the other kidults seem to move house thrice every year, so maybe they'll follow suit.

[Ivycoveredtower]

10 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

All the other kidults seem to move house thrice every year, so maybe they'll follow suit.

the only married Duggerling that has moved a lot is Jill. Jessa and Ben have been in the same house since marriage. Anna and smugger only left their first house when they moved to DC after three kids. Jinjer did move this year but only because they bought a house. I don't see another move in their future anytime soon. 

[nickelodeon]

I believe you but I also feel like every other Thursday we have a conversation about how Josh is moving into Jessa's first house while JESSA is at the pool house because JILL just moved into Grandma Mary's house when Jim Bob sold Jill's second manor to Jana and now Josiah and Lauren are going to live in the crawl space under the TTH.

[pandora]

1 hour ago, FundaMental said:

I'd like to see a fundie woman go into STEM. It'll never happen, but I'm just imagining how their family would react if it did.

To me, that's part of what is interesting about the sheer numbers in fundie families- the more kids they have, the greater probability that someone is gonna wanna stray right? Someday a girl from one of these families is going to go into STEM. What then?

Similarly, the more Bates descendants there are, the greater chance that Erin Bates Paine will one day have to sit next to a kid with green hair at Thanksgiving. The horror. 

[Four is Enough]

800 square foot rowhome: My family: brother in tiny bedroom, not big enough for a walk in closet these days, parents in bedroom, me and sister in bed room.

same housse down the street: parents, mother in law, Five males and two females in same three bedrooms. Youngest slept in crib until she was five and a brother moved out to get married. 

As they say. It can be done.

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

honestly sometimes I think Caleb never happened  and they made him up to justify their quiver. (oh a doctor told me it was because of birth control) plus I don't remember hearing about Caleb until after Jubilee. you would think they would milk that for all it's worth. iirc Michelle had to record her message at Jubilee's funeral twice because she forgot Caleb the first time 

Personally, I’m extremely hesitant to judge how Michelle or JimBob acted around that time. As much as we dislike them, they did lose a very wanted baby at 19 weeks gestation. Michelle in particular seemed genuinely grieved over the loss of Jubilee and likely wasn’t thinking very clearly because of that grief. I definitely get your point, but grief can do funny things to people and I honestly don’t think any conclusions about Caleb can be drawn from that one incident.

I do tend to believe them when they say they lost a pregnancy after Josh was born though. I also have no trouble believing that a Doctor may have suggested (either purposely or by accident) that the birth control was to blame either. Miscarriages still aren’t widely discussed today and people still tend to put their foot in their mouth when discussing it at times (ask me how I know), so I have no trouble imagining a Doctor doing the same in the late 1980s. 

[RainbowSky]

I think Jubilee  having a whole funeral and all after being big enough to be felt has something to do with it. Even if you believe all babies are equal, I'd imagine lots of people would feel closer mentally and emotionally to one they'd felt moving and actually came out physically and visibly a small human.

 

Plus after Caleb they had more babies to focus on and it may have helped. 

[Bad Wolf]

I think they said it was a Christian doctor who told them that the pill had caused the miscarriage, which must have been very distressing.