Seewalds 32: The Big If

[Ivycoveredtower]

8 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I'm just happy to see Anna getting to get out and have some fun.  That seems very rare these days. 

I might agree if Josh hadn't came with her. Anna posted a punch of pics from Jessa's insta I was just thinking it was a girls trip. nope a bunch of Duggars went. over on the Anna Josh thread we're trying to figure out why someone would drive over  400 miles to visit that place. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

9 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I might agree if Josh hadn't came with her. Anna posted a punch of pics from Jessa's insta I was just thinking it was a girls trip. nope a bunch of Duggars went. over on the Anna Josh thread we're trying to figure out why someone would drive over  400 miles to visit that place. 

What else do they have to do?  Literally, what else? Nothing. None of them work, the kids aren't really being educated at all, all they do is hump have babies and go places.  

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

What else do they have to do?  Literally, what else? Nothing. None of them work, the kids aren't really being educated at all, all they do is hump have babies and go places.  

And preach about how their way is better.

Without educated people, Michelle, Josie, Jill, Izzy, Sam, Jessa (to name but a few) would likely be non-existent.

[MargaretElliott]

On 4/8/2018 at 1:32 PM, seraaa said:

I absolutely believe that the structural conditions of our lives can influence our mental health. Like, somebody may have a tendency to anxiety, for example, but there are circumstances which can help or hinder the management of such conditions, and modern life is not conducive to good mental health in many ways. #Millenialproblems 

Abso-fucking-lutely. I had a family member ask me what I had to be anxious about recently, so I looked her dead in the eye and said something along the lines of, "Well, I'm killing myself working multiple part-time jobs, wages are stagnating while the cost of living is ever-increasing, entry-level jobs require five years of experience, rent is ludicrously high, I'll never be able to afford a house, or afford kids, the American Dream is dead, the whole "go to college and you'll get a good job" shtick I've been told my whole life has turned out to be a massive steaming pile of BULLSHIT, school shootings are so common they don't even surprise me anymore, an ignorant, intolerant orange gremlin is president of the United States, the bees are dying, the ice caps are melting, oh right, the whole planet is a ticking time bomb because we fucking destroyed it. Why the hell wouldn't I be anxious?"

[VelociRapture]

15 minutes ago, MargaretElliott said:

Abso-fucking-lutely. I had a family member ask me what I had to be anxious about recently, so I looked her dead in the eye and said something along the lines of, "Well, I'm killing myself working multiple part-time jobs, wages are stagnating while the cost of living is ever-increasing, entry-level jobs require five years of experience, rent is ludicrously high, I'll never be able to afford a house, or afford kids, school shootings are so common they don't even surprise me anymore, an ignorant, intolerant orange gremlin is president of the United States, the bees are dying, the ice caps are melting, oh right, the whole planet is a ticking time bomb because we fucking destroyed it. Why the hell wouldn't I be anxious?"

Yep! I’ve always had some anxiety present, but it was always at a pretty manageable level for me - up until the 2016 election. I was 30 weeks pregnant at the time and it set off a wave of worse than normal anxiety. I was able to mostly handle that until my daughter was born prematurely. Being separated from her during her NICU stay triggered my first ever panic attacks and I’ve experienced multiple more since then, usually triggered if I feel something or some situation has threatened my baby somehow. These panic attacks go on for hours at a time, usually happen at night, and will appear for several nights in a row with varying intensities until they stop. I’m very thankful that I haven’t had one for a bit and I’m hoping the worst is over. 

All that to say, I don’t think I would have experienced such intense anxiety or panic attacks had the election gone differently or if my daughter had arrived full-term. I always had a low level of anxiety there, but nothing like what I experienced after I gave birth. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

14 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I hate Anna's shoes. 

They would look awesome with pants. Too bad they'll never have the chance to live up to their potential.

[AtlanticTug]

8 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

All that to say, I don’t think I would have experienced such intense anxiety or panic attacks had the election gone differently or if my daughter had arrived full-term. I always had a low level of anxiety there, but nothing like what I experienced after I gave birth. 

This is me, but with infertility. I would describe myself as somebody who probably worried more than the average person all my life - about grades, exams, money, job security, etc. But it never rose to the level of anxiety or panic attacks.

Then we battled infertility for a total of about 5 years before we completed our family. 5 fresh IVF cycles, 3 frozen transfers, 6 miscarriages and I was a total mess. Saved by a fantastic therapist, some meds, etc. My great fear has been that maybe this is who I was all along...my therapist says no, that this is more of a situational anxiety caused by a specific set of circumstances and was in many ways unavoidable. But I don't know...even though I'm no longer trying to have kids, I am happy with the family we have, we accomplished what we set out to do and I feel very, very lucky, I also am FAR more anxious now than I was before. It's almost like I'm stuck somewhere in-between: not as anxious as when I was undergoing treatment, but more anxious than my baseline. So maybe this is my new normal and that's hard to accept some days.

[seraaa]

Glad to hear you've been doing better recently, @VelociRapture

Life events can knock you for six

[Georgiana]

42 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

And preach about how their way is better.

Without educated people, Michelle, Josie, Jill, Izzy, Sam, Jessa (to name but a few) would likely be non-existent.

Joy too.  

Without educated people and the advances of modern medicine, the Duggars would be an incredible tragedy: parents have 19 kids, only to watch all their daughters die in childbirth.  So far, not a single Duggar daughter has delivered her first without medical intervention.  

Without all the things these people hate, all the Duggar married daughters would be dead, sans Jinger, who would likely be living in fear for her life after watching all her sisters die, including her beloved Jessa, who she may have watched bleed out...helpless to save her.  The stress and desperation might drive her to border on an eating disorder, as she DESPERATELY restricts her food intake, trying anything to keep the child growing inside her small enough to deliver without complication...but still knowing it may not be enough.  The unmarried daughters might live in utter fear of marriage, wondering if perhaps they and their sisters have something that makes birth impossible and pregnancy a death sentence. 

THIS is the reality of the past they want to return to.  It's not the sunshine and roses they think it is.  It's full on Edgar Allen Poe.  

[justoneoftwo]

45 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

Joy too.  

Without educated people and the advances of modern medicine, the Duggars would be an incredible tragedy: parents have 19 kids, only to watch all their daughters die in childbirth.  So far, not a single Duggar daughter has delivered her first without medical intervention.  

Without all the things these people hate, all the Duggar married daughters would be dead, sans Jinger, who would likely be living in fear for her life after watching all her sisters die, including her beloved Jessa, who she may have watched bleed out...helpless to save her.  The stress and desperation might drive her to border on an eating disorder, as she DESPERATELY restricts her food intake, trying anything to keep the child growing inside her small enough to deliver without complication...but still knowing it may not be enough.  The unmarried daughters might live in utter fear of marriage, wondering if perhaps they and their sisters have something that makes birth impossible and pregnancy a death sentence. 

THIS is the reality of the past they want to return to.  It's not the sunshine and roses they think it is.  It's full on Edgar Allen Poe.  

And having watched her mother die along with her youngest sister.  Although we don't know what other complications happened before they started filming.  Without medicine this would all be a tragic story.

[Ivycoveredtower]

49 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

Joy too.  

Without educated people and the advances of modern medicine, the Duggars would be an incredible tragedy: parents have 19 kids, only to watch all their daughters die in childbirth.  So far, not a single Duggar daughter has delivered her first without medical intervention.  

Without all the things these people hate, all the Duggar married daughters would be dead, sans Jinger, who would likely be living in fear for her life after watching all her sisters die, including her beloved Jessa, who she may have watched bleed out...helpless to save her.  The stress and desperation might drive her to border on an eating disorder, as she DESPERATELY restricts her food intake, trying anything to keep the child growing inside her small enough to deliver without complication...but still knowing it may not be enough.  The unmarried daughters might live in utter fear of marriage, wondering if perhaps they and their sisters have something that makes birth impossible and pregnancy a death sentence. 

THIS is the reality of the past they want to return to.  It's not the sunshine and roses they think it is.  It's full on Edgar Allen Poe.  

without Medical intervention the only Duggar child alive right now would be Josh. since Michelle Jana and John David would have died from Michelle's pre eclampsia. 

[justoneoftwo]

13 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

without Medical intervention the only Duggar child alive right now would be Josh. since Michelle Jana and John David would have died from Michelle's pre eclampsia. 

Thank you, I thought there was likely something like this.  Honestly this is why there weren't that many families of 19 before there was much medical intervention, people just didn't survive that long.

[AtlanticTug]

4 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

Thank you, I thought there was likely something like this.  Honestly this is why there weren't that many families of 19 before there was much medical intervention, people just didn't survive that long.

Nevermind how many babies would have died as babies of toddlers of relatively simple infectious diseases.

You're welcome, science.

[Ivycoveredtower]

6 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

So the trip was a family affair, minus the Dillard's Forsythe's & Voluo's.

Jinger had a gender reveal on Saturday with family and friends I am guess they went there also. (How far is Larado from this place) Jill and Derick are in Colorado. as for the Forsyth's I am guessing they didn't want to travel with Gideon. 

[Bad Wolf]

Let's not forget clean water and plumbing.

[WiseGirl]

1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

Let's not forget clean water and plumbing.

My favorite inventions.

Back to topic, did they travel to JinJer's for the reveal? 

[Ivycoveredtower]

5 minutes ago, WiseGirl said:

My favorite inventions.

Back to topic, did they travel to JinJer's for the reveal? 

I am going with Yes we know they were in Texas this weekend and from the TLC Me video they mention seeing their parents reactions so I don't see JIm Bob and Michelle going without the rest of the group. I don't think Jostin or Joken was there and Derjill was in Colorado but besides that i think everyone else was there. 

[patsymae]

19 hours ago, Chewing Gum said:

I have to say from the third pic on Anna’s instagram Jessa looks amazing and appears to be in a good shape. 

 

 

They drove 436 to play corn toss, go shopping, eat at a breakfast restaurant and get a cup of coffee? Which of those things could they not do in Arkansas?

[SapphireSlytherin]

4 minutes ago, patsymae said:

They drove 436 to play corn toss, go shopping, eat at a breakfast restaurant and get a cup of coffee? Which of those things could they not do in Arkansas?

We've driven 980 miles just to visit a friend for a day. We've also flown from Chicago to San Diego to spend 3 hours at our friends' anniversary party. I'll give 'em a pass for that. NBD.

[Ivycoveredtower]

5 minutes ago, patsymae said:

They drove 436 to play corn toss, go shopping, eat at a breakfast restaurant and get a cup of coffee? Which of those things could they not do in Arkansas?

say they went to Chip and Joanna Gaines Magnolia that was the true draw for them none of the stuff they actually did. 

[Kelsey]

We went to the Magnolia Haven in December. Walked around for about 15 minutes (and that's probably a stretch) wondering why it was so popular. 

The store there was shoulder to shoulder people buying a bunch of really expensive decorations. I hoped out of that before we even got more than 10 feet inside.

[Taylurker]

On 3/24/2018 at 7:29 PM, Palimpsest said:

I stopped searching when I discovered that the only two candidates to be my birth mother were 13 and 15 in 1955. I left a letter in a repository so that she can find it if she ever looks for me.

I decided, there and then that her rights to privacy in a closed adoption, she was originally promised confidentiality, outweighed my all my rights to knowledge, even though UK law changed in 1976 to allow me access to my adoption file and to search.   It was my decision to let it go and I am fine with it. 

While I respect that you chose to stop pursuing to find your birth mom, I can't help but wonder if she and millions of other birth moms want their kids to find them first, rather than look for their children themselves. Your mom was young when she had you, but maybe it wasn't her choice to give you up or have a closed adoption. Maybe it was, and she regrets it. Maybe she hasn't gone looking for you because she feels guilty and hopes you'll find her instead. 

All I'm saying is, I wouldn't have assumed things solely because of her age. I'm sure that regardless of her reasons, though, it must have been very hard to give you up when she was so young. 

Just my two cents.

I'm glad you left a letter for her, though. I think that is sweet and thoughtful of you. I hope you've made peace with your decision.

[emmeline]

16 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

Let's not forget clean water and plumbing.

But apart from the clean water, plumbing, c sections, and emergency hospital treatment, what did the Romans Science ever do for us? 

[Carm_88]

Seems like the Gender Reveal was a family affair! Jinger is having the first Duggar daughter to have a daughter. They really love Magnolia don't they?  As long as it's fun!

[Meggo]

21 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

This is me, but with infertility. I would describe myself as somebody who probably worried more than the average person all my life - about grades, exams, money, job security, etc. But it never rose to the level of anxiety or panic attacks.

Then we battled infertility for a total of about 5 years before we completed our family. 5 fresh IVF cycles, 3 frozen transfers, 6 miscarriages and I was a total mess. Saved by a fantastic therapist, some meds, etc. My great fear has been that maybe this is who I was all along...my therapist says no, that this is more of a situational anxiety caused by a specific set of circumstances and was in many ways unavoidable. But I don't know...even though I'm no longer trying to have kids, I am happy with the family we have, we accomplished what we set out to do and I feel very, very lucky, I also am FAR more anxious now than I was before. It's almost like I'm stuck somewhere in-between: not as anxious as when I was undergoing treatment, but more anxious than my baseline. So maybe this is my new normal and that's hard to accept some days.

This is kind of me. I battled infertility for years too - 2 IVFs (failed because we couldn't find an egg), multiple IUIs, no miscarriages but unexplained infertility because- couldn't find an egg. 
I feel like all of that wrecked me. I feel like pre-all of that - I was happier, funnier, more relaxed. I tell myself I was also a lot younger in those days - my IVFs were probably close to 10 years ago now and were the tail end of all of stuff. And I have made peace with that (and we have a wonderful son now through adoption - and we've moved on). 

But I also remember all those meds and being an absolute NUTTER because of all them. I remember telling the nurse that I'd walk into a room and not remember why - and she said "that's mom brain - that's just how it is. The meds do that to you - and it'll be the same after you have a baby" But it stayed long after I stopped doing fertility treatments. And then we welcomed our son - so I really did have sleep deprivation brain and I'm JUST now feeling like I'm coming out of the fog of all of that (he's five). But am still not the person I once was. And that does make me sad. 
So I feel ya. So - big hugs.