Seewalds 32: The Big If

[Daisy0322]

3 hours ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

 

Me too! I hate it. I was talking about it in my small group the other day and someone said, well have you tried the gym? No, Susan. Never crossed my mind 

Lol what a novel idea...i have noticed post baby my hips are wider and my stomach doesn't stick out as much. Now it's just way less toned sooo it looks better in clothes at least 

[Palimpsest]

On 4/12/2018 at 4:48 AM, subsaharanafrica said:

Does anyone have a ballpark figure for what TLC pays people who appear on their reality shows?

That is the $64,000 question.  No.  Salaries are closely guarded secrets and reality talent gets slammed for disclosing that information.  Here's a fairly good article that outlines leaked information from the people who get millions to the people who get nothing.  I'd put the Duggars in the B level of cable reality shows.  We do know that TLC prefers to cut a single check for familes, and expects the parents to allocate funding for the minors as they see fit in states that do not have Coogan-type laws.  

http://www.businessinsider.com/reality-tv-stars-salaries-2016-6

So, less than people think. Of course, pay levels will go up as contracts are renegotiated for "hit" shows and JB Duggar in spite of his good ol' country boy act is a shrewd as the day is long.   A lot of additional money does come in through endorsements, improved business opportunities, and product placement on the show.  Families have to pay tax on the product lacement and home improvement stuff that happens on the shows.

Well, my friends, scroll on by if you want to discuss the Seewalds. I need to do a spot of carpet cleaning on Aisle 5.  The adoption issue - and the supposed "responsibilities" of adopted children. 

On 4/10/2018 at 12:06 AM, Taylurker said:

While I respect that you chose to stop pursuing to find your birth mom, I can't help but wonder if she and millions of other birth moms want their kids to find them first, rather than look for their children themselves. Your mom was young when she had you, but maybe it wasn't her choice to give you up or h ave a closed adoption. Maybe it was, and she regrets it. Maybe she hasn't gone looking for you because she feels guilty and hopes you'll find her instead. 

All I'm saying is, I wouldn't have assumed things solely because of her age. I'm sure that regardless of her reasons, though, it must have been very hard to give you up when she was so young. 

Just my two cents.

I'm glad you left a letter for her, though. I think that is sweet and thoughtful of you. I hope you've made peace with your decision.

Well aren't you super sweet to ask.  Yes, thank you.  I have indeed made peace with the very difficult decision that I made over the course of many years, with much support and very good therapy.  I decided that the potential negative consequences and very possible trauma for my birth mother vastly outweighed my need for information.  If she wants to contact me, she can.  She has never left a similar letter for me in the same repository - which is a first stop for both adopted children and birth mothers searching in the UK.

I'm trying to be kind here because I think your post came from ignorance rather than malice.  However, your sentimental over-identification with birth mothers (of any age) and judgmental attitude are both dangerous and very offensive.

Have you even read the other posts about adoption on this thread?  You demonstrate no respect for my decision and absolutely no understanding at all of the dynamics or the serious issues that can arise in searches.  I suggest you go back and read about the birth mother who wanted absolutely nothing to do with the son she gave up for adoption before you presume to sit in judgement.  Many successful searches end in further  trauma and heartbreak for those involved.  Do not be mislead by all those touching reunification stories on reality TV.  It is often far from easy.

Another very worrying thing about your attitude is that you put the entire onus and responsibility for searching onto the adult adopted child.  To you, the birth mother is entirely absolved of responsibility.  Many adopted children never feel the need to search, nor should they ever feel pressured by society to do so.  In my opinion.

Think about it.  The adult adopted child is actually in a no win situation.  If they search they can be accused of cruelty and presumption if the birth parent wants nothing to do with them - as you can see demonstrated earlier in this thread.  If they fail to search they can be reproached by people like you who really don't even begin to understand the issues.  And if they are tracked down by a birth mother they had no interest in ever contacting (often with good reason), and presume to reject that woman's overtures and grant her forgiveness  - all hell often breaks loose and insults rain down upon their heads.  

It was just your two cents and I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt.  However, if you ever presume to say anything as ignorant and judgmental again to any adopted person, I hope that person really gives you the serious reprimand you so richly deserve.

[Mlissmartin]

On 4/11/2018 at 1:46 PM, HereticHick said:

Jim Bob is a millionaire, even without TLC money. The Duggars CHOOSE not to have adequate health insurance; they could afford it--at least for the breed mares.

Millionaire? Really? Didn't realize this, I know he's good with money.

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, Mlissmartin said:

Millionaire? Really? Didn't realize this, I know he's good with money.

I believe his worth is about 3.5 Mil  at least that's what google tells me. 

[justpassingby]

Ben's sister is going to be a cop. Saw on her bf's page she will be sworn in next week.

[VelociRapture]

48 minutes ago, justpassingby said:

Ben's sister is going to be a cop. Saw on her bf's page she will be sworn in next week.

On one hand, I want to congratulate her on pursuing a legitimate career, wish her luck, and hope she turns out to be one of the good ones.

On the other hand, the thought of Jessica Seewald handling a gun and being responsible for helping others kind of terrifies me. 

[candygirl200413]

@VelociRapture You might know or other people (I only tagged cause you pinged my interest!) didn't she also have crazy views of BLM as well? Cause that would also terrify me too in addition to handling a gun. 

[Drala]

On ‎3‎/‎26‎/‎2018 at 8:57 PM, PumaLover said:

<snip> She willingly calls my husband her dad but still refers to me as her aunt to other people. In a way it kind of hurts because she doesn't "need" another "mom," since she already has one. A horrible one, but still a mom. I would never force her to call me mom and try to pretend it doesn't bother me, but sometimes it does.<snip>

My first thought when I read this is, "it ain't over til it's over."  One day, as she continues to heal and mature, she may work out her conflict about "mom" and choose to call you that.  At the present time, "mom" seems to be a word that's too emotionally loaded to associate with you.  She doesn't "need" another "mom" as long as "mom" has such a negative and disappointing connotation.  Indeed, who needs another mom if moms suck?  With time, she may learn to associate the person who was always there for her (you) with a healthier concept of what "mom" means.        

[Bad Wolf]

I always read BLM as Bureau of Land Management. Have to stop and think. Ah, the joys of getting old.

[Carm_88]

6 hours ago, justpassingby said:

Ben's sister is going to be a cop. Saw on her bf's page she will be sworn in next week.

I...don't like it. She seems to have the emotional maturity of a 12 year. I still can't really look past her bigoted journal from her "mission trip" to bring Jesus to the Catholics. I hope that she has grown since then...

[VelociRapture]

5 hours ago, candygirl200413 said:

@VelociRapture You might know or other people (I only tagged cause you pinged my interest!) didn't she also have crazy views of BLM as well? Cause that would also terrify me too in addition to handling a gun. 

I’m not sure. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me though. 

I mean, I honestly do hope she turns out to be a good cop. I hope she doesn’t abuse her position of power over other people, that she acts responsibly, that she takes her job seriously, and that she managed to make a positive impact on the community she ultimately serves. To be honest, thinking about her as a cop though does make me nervous though because she does have a history of being a bigot. Maybe that’s unfair and she’s done some growing up since then, but it’s up to her to prove that.

[Jinder Roles]

10 hours ago, candygirl200413 said:

@VelociRapture You might know or other people (I only tagged cause you pinged my interest!) didn't she also have crazy views of BLM as well? Cause that would also terrify me too in addition to handling a gun. 

Yup. Not to mention a healthy dose of Islamaphobia. 

@VelociRapture Your opinion is definitely fair. My first thought was "Well, shit. Good luck to all the non-WASPY people she comes into contact with". 

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

23 hours ago, justpassingby said:

Ben's sister is going to be a cop. Saw on her bf's page she will be sworn in next week.

 OMFG that is my city. Like where I am from and my family still lives. WOW I never actually though I would be in place for a fundie encounter.

 

8 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

Yup. Not to mention a healthy dose of Islamaphobia. 

@VelociRapture Your opinion is definitely fair. My first thought was "Well, shit. Good luck to all the non-WASPY people she comes into contact with". 

There are not really WASP areas of NLR (if that is which force she is joining). I mean we have "one" but its not really, they just think so. What we do have is a huge non-english speaking Mexican community (not being offensive, that was my neighborhood and I did help translate when I could, I worry about the people I know) and a LOT of underprivileged areas. I don't know much about her, but I cannot see her doing well in NLR if these things are true about her.

[Carm_88]

@StraightOuttaArkansas Bless those people. Maybe she has grown up but until that's proved, bless those people! 

[libgirl2]

On 4/17/2018 at 3:10 PM, Carm_88 said:

I...don't like it. She seems to have the emotional maturity of a 12 year. I still can't really look past her bigoted journal from her "mission trip" to bring Jesus to the Catholics. I hope that she has grown since then...

As a Catholic, I didn't realize I didn't "have" Jesus already. 

[Carm_88]

Just now, libgirl2 said:

As a Catholic, I didn't realize I didn't "have" Jesus already. 

I'm Catholic as well and no, we don't have the proper Jesus.

[Pecansforeveryone]

I wonder if Ben and Jesse will be attending the upcoming conferenbce at Big Sandy? I am torn myself since Ben grew ventp in a slightly different funday circle but has seemed to be guided by JB in the last couple of years. I don't think Ben will ever make a good preacher but I do think he could make a good lay minister and counselor. 

[Alisamer]

5 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I'm Catholic as well and no, we don't have the proper Jesus.

Lol, I think they believe you have DEAD Jesus, while they think they have the ALIVE resurrected Jesus. Because some old guy said so, or something. IDK. They don't either.

[Ivycoveredtower]

8 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

As a Catholic, I didn't realize I didn't "have" Jesus already. 

You should go see Zsuanna Anderson's new video. she can't understand how catholic mother's with lots of kids can do it because they of course are not saved 

[AtlanticTug]

1 minute ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

You should go see Zsuanna Anderson's new video. she can't understand how catholic mother's with lots of kids can do it because they of course are not saved 

LOL.

We do it because we are professionals who make a lot of $ and don't live in squalor with 10 kids, but send them to the proper schools so that they can become educated perverts who save Zsu's babies.

That woman, my God.

[libgirl2]

17 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Lol, I think they believe you have DEAD Jesus, while they think they have the ALIVE resurrected Jesus. Because some old guy said so, or something. IDK. They don't either.

I really don't get that at all. 8 years of Catholic school, Jesus died on the cross and rose. He conquered death by rising. 

I would find it amusing if when one of these Fundies die, they meet Jesus having a nice chat with one of the Popes.... or better yet, they are greeted by Vishnu or Buddha. 

[Carm_88]

17 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

You should go see Zsuanna Anderson's new video. she can't understand how catholic mother's with lots of kids can do it because they of course are not saved 

Hahah my maternal grandmother had 14. She was fine! She sent them off to school and let them out to run around like the kids they were. The problem with fundies is that they need to control every single aspect of their kids lives. That's a whole different thing. 

[libgirl2]

Many years ago, I was working at a Doctor's clinic in the lab. Several of the doctors were Jewish, one Catholic and another I haven't a clue. One day, I was talking to this really nice person who worked in admin and a woman who was a temp. I mentioned having a dream about the end of the world and satan trying to control everything. In the dream, I was willing to be a martyr and not renounce Jesus. I was promptly told by the temp that I had that dream because I wasn't saved and was going to go to hell. The admin woman nodded her head in agreement. I kind of wish they would have told the doctors that along with the other non-Christians who worked there. 

[onekidanddone]

On 4/17/2018 at 9:24 AM, justpassingby said:

Ben's sister is going to be a cop. Saw on her bf's page she will be sworn in next week.

Don't cops wear pants? Not only pants, but a utility belt! Eye traps. Nike!

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

I'm Catholic as well and no, we don't have the proper Jesus.

I first read this as 'impostor' Jesus

[Ivycoveredtower]

13 minutes ago, onekidanddone said:

Don't cops wear pants? Not only pants, but a utility belt! Eye traps. Nike!

I first read this as 'impostor' Jesus

 the Seewalds have always worn pants  I'm just waiting for Jessa to go pants especially since JInger and now jill have.