Seewalds 32: The Big If

[VBOY9977]

Jessa with a fan in Texas. I wonder why they met up there. Maybe because it was a middle point, maybe a conference of some sort.

[Ivycoveredtower]

Jinjer has been hanging out with Benessa.  pics of Spurg and Henry 

Spoiler

 

 

[lizzybee]

I have a love/hate relationship with Piper because he and his website Desiring God can post a lot of annoying and sometimes all out wrong stuff. BUT I do typically like his labs for bible study. I don't like the anxiety ones, I've watched them before when I was dealing with some severe anxiety and didn't find them helpful at all for the above mentioned reasons about him saying anxiety was sinful or not trusting God enough (total crap and frustrating). But typically I do enjoy those labs for bible study or breaking down passages that I'm trying to understand better.

Fun fact, I've actually been to see Piper do labs like this live when he came to my area (I think he labbed a whole chapter over two days iirc) and then coincidentally ended up eating at Chipotle for lunch on break when he walked in to have lunch there too. It was hard not to be weird and stare at him the whole time, but I persevered. 

 

[JordynDarby5]

I liked the name Piper but I really want them to pick that name because of how funny it would be that they named their daughter after a witch. 

[AlwaysExcited]

 

1 hour ago, JordynDarby5 said:

I liked the name Piper but I really want them to pick that name because of how funny it would be that they named their daughter after a witch. 

That would be a second Charmed name for the family. 
Man, I miss that show. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

Great now I'm thinking of all Duggar grandkids with names from Charmed. 

Henry  (Paiges husband) 

Sam (Paiges dad) 

Gideon (Elder who tried to turn Wyatt) 

 

[just_ordinary]

I think the backlash is that big because there definitely are tendencies in some religious circles to undermine the need for therapy and/or medication. If faith and prayer doesn’t help you, you are a bad person not really believing. That kind of shit. People are very aware of that and it is important to speak up against it. 

But there is a huge difference between anxiety and an anxiety disorder. Everyone can feel anxious from time to time or even suffers from more severe anxiety in a certain situation. That is not the same an anxiety disorder which is a medical condition that should be treated. 

Anxiety has become somewhat of a „cool condition“ with young people (girls especially) which does the people who really suffer from the disorder absolutely no service. 

I have no clue if Jessa just wanted to address the normal anxiety everyone can have or if she indeed believe the shit some religious circles are propagating. Wouldn’t put it past her but it is not clear. Other than Derrik who clearly lost it along the way. 

[emmeline]

On 30/03/2018 at 11:39 PM, HarleyQuinn said:

I saw a remark on reddit where the commenter was surprised that Jill came out with a revamped website before Jessa did. She thought Jessa would try to make a blog sharing recipes, life, etc. And now that I think about it, that kind of makes sense. Jessa seems to care so much about building her brand. Why not expand the scope of her website?

Total speculation, but I wonder if it's to do with Jill seeing herself as a missionary trying to convert people - whereas Jessa's sharing bits of her life without trying to convert others (or at least, overtly trying to convert them). 

[HereticHick]

On 3/31/2018 at 11:48 PM, Ivycoveredtower said:

Jinjer has been hanging out with Benessa.  pics of Spurg and Henry 

  Hide contents

Who's house is this?

Who's house is this?

 

 

[WhoompThereItIs]

13 hours ago, JordynDarby5 said:

I liked the name Piper but I really want them to pick that name because of how funny it would be that they named their daughter after a witch. 

Or a bisexual convicted felon 

[Carm_88]

Henry is not amused!  

[Toothfairy]

On 3/31/2018 at 11:48 PM, Ivycoveredtower said:

Jinjer has been hanging out with Benessa.  pics of Spurg and Henry 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Awe. He looks just like Jessa

[Illmarryyoujana]

On 4/2/2018 at 1:28 AM, just_ordinary said:

Anxiety has become somewhat of a „cool condition“ with young people (girls especially) which does the people who really suffer from the disorder absolutely no service. 

It hasn’t become a “cool condition”, the younger generation is just more open about their struggles. People don’t *want* anxiety. Man, I WISH my peers had been as open with their mental illnesses as these adolescents today. And I know my peers suffered back then because they talk about having it then now on Facebook. 

[PainfullyAware]

There's compelling evidence that anxiety and depression are significantly worse than in the past among young adults. Of course discussing emotions is more acceptable now and saying "I have anxiety" is also a common way of saying "I feel really stressed at the moment" but it's more than that:

Here's a fanascinating profile of the post millenial generation (younger than present day 22 yr olds). 

www.google.com/amp/s/www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/534198/

"More comfortable online than out partying, post-Millennials are safer, physically, than adolescents have ever been. But they’re on the brink of a mental-health crisis."

"Rates of teen depression and suicide have skyrocketed since 2011...What happened in 2012 to cause such dramatic shifts in behavior? It was after the Great Recession, which officially lasted from 2007 to 2009 and had a starker effect on Millennials trying to find a place in a sputtering economy. But it was exactly the moment when the proportion of Americans who owned a smartphone surpassed 50 percent."

[Chewing Gum]

On 2-4-2018 at 7:00 AM, AlwaysExcited said:

 

That would be a second Charmed name for the family. 
Man, I miss that show. 

Me too. They can stick the reboot down their behinds though. Not going to watch that “modern more feminist show”. Did they not watch the original? 

 

[RubyRei]

Long winded story about mental illness amongst young people:

I developed depression when I was 12 years old in about 2005. Although my sister had just passed away and not even a year later my parents were divorced, I now know that I have bipolar and thus was in for an emotionally unstable ride regardless. 

Around this time was the “emo” period. Mental illness, self injury, talk of suicide, and abuse of drugs and alcohol were HIGHLY idolized. So did I have friends who I felt understood me and accepted me as is? Yes! Did it further encourage me to make bad decisions? 100%. I was self injuring and taking pills, whatever pills, without knowing what they were. Honestly, why am I talking about this when the culture has changed so much? Because I think it really still has a lot of similarities.  

I had a brief remission of depression until I was molested at age 13/14 (numbers become a blur when this stuff happens) by a person I considered a brother. I spiraled. I didn’t feel like it was *from* that,  but it played into it. At 14, I developed debilitating social anxiety and generalized anxiety and though my life has changed since then, it has not greatly improved in terms of mental illness. 

In an attempt to feel less alone (I simply could not relate to mentally healthy people) I made friends with people again who understood me. They were amazing people for the most part, but instead of all of the above mentioned things being glorified on MySpace and livejournal, people had their “secret” tumblrs. Self hate, self harm, etc were the norm. 

It still was nice to be not alone. But at the same time, looking back, I know it was feeding into my disorders. I felt and sometimes still feel between a rock and a hard place. I can count the number of friends I have on one hand. I have no social media. I have developed some form of agoraphobia. 

This really isn’t a response to anyone or a defense of anything, just my own experience. I wish I could know how to best tow the line of not feeling alone and not ignoring my illnesses and their impacts while still adhering to what my therapists suggests and not just letting my illnesses define me. 

I know the culture HAS changed and it is more accepting of those of us with mental illness, but I think, especially on social media, there is still a lot of toxic things that loop and feed into mental illness. 

p.s. I feel like this isn’t eloquently worded but I can’t seem to get my mind in the space to make sense of it and fix it!

 

TL;DR- I think culture has changed to more accept mental illness but also still glorifies it (sometimes masquerading as “acceptance”)

 

[libgirl2]

On 4/2/2018 at 12:00 AM, AlwaysExcited said:

 

That would be a second Charmed name for the family. 
Man, I miss that show. 

Me too. I will not watch the reboot. 

[VelociRapture]

11 hours ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

It hasn’t become a “cool condition”, the younger generation is just more open about their struggles. People don’t *want* anxiety. Man, I WISH my peers had been as open with their mental illnesses as these adolescents today. And I know my peers suffered back then because they talk about having it then now on Facebook. 

Personally, I’ve struggled with anxiety for many, many years and I have sought treatment for it a couple of times. My anxiety become a hundred times worse after the birth of my daughter 16 months ago. I suffered from such horrific panic attacks during her weeklong NICU stay that I was unable to sleep at night, could not keep any food down, and I literally could not stay still because I was freezing cold and I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. It was so bad that these attacks would last for hours at a time - sometimes the entire night - and I honestly thought I was dying. My husband couldn’t help me and my dog couldn’t help either, despite giving me all the love and devotion she had in her little body. My mom actually drove over one night and crawled into the bed to hold me for a while to try to calm me down and not even that helped. The only thing that helped was being able to hold my daughter. I didn’t feel calm unless I was holding her and the anxiety always returned when I had to leave her behind in NICU again.

(I’m actually getting a bit emotional remembering all this right now. That’s how traumatizing that experience was.) 

I’ve had multiple panic attacks since she was discharged that have been just as bad, but knowing what’s happening to me has at least helped a little. Now I know that I’m not dying and the feelings will eventually end - I didn’t know that before and that makes a difference in how capable I feel in handling them.

That said, I agree with you to an extent. I’m pretty sure that Anxiety is currently the most diagnosed mental illness in the states. I think more people are becoming more comfortable discussing their struggles openly, which is fantastic - but I’m also concerned that some people use the term anxiety way too lightly. Worrying about everyday things is very different from having a diagnosable anxiety disorder and I just hope that people realize that when the topic comes up. What I experienced and continue to experience is because of a very real mental illness and I just hope that isn’t being conflated with normal stresses and worries other people have.

[pandora]

33 minutes ago, RubyRei said:

I know the culture HAS changed and it is more accepting of those of us with mental illness, but I think, especially on social media, there is still a lot of toxic things that loop and feed into mental illness. 

TL;DR- I think culture has changed to more accept mental illness but also still glorifies it (sometimes masquerading as “acceptance”)

Sorry to hear about your struggles, that is a long road to walk 

Could you possibly give some examples of what you mean by this part? Not a challenge, I think I see where you're going and agree, I'm wondering if the examples that spring to my mind reading your words are what you're talking about.

[Carm_88]

2 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Worrying about everyday things is very different from having a diagnosable anxiety disorder and I just hope that people realize that when the topic comes up. What I experienced and continue to experience is because of a very real mental illness and I just hope that isn’t being conflated with normal stresses and worries other people have.

You are so right about this. I hate hearing people say "I'm so depressed" when they mean that they are sad or unhappy. You are not depressed, you have no idea what depressed is and it's not something that can be taken lightly. I haven't been depressed, I have no idea what it's like. Talking about mental illnesses and being open is great, self diagnosing is not. 

Also can I say that it annoys me when someone says "Oh it's because I'm an introvert" when making an excuse for not showing up or not being on time. It's a personality type, not your excuse for everything! 

[singsingsing]

I do get why some people self-diagnose. Getting a real, in-depth, accurate diagnosis, especially if you have multiple things going on, can be prohibitively expensive for a lot of people. Sometimes, particularly for women with ASD or ADHD for example, it can also be difficult to find a doctor or psychologist who is willing to take you seriously, because women with those issues tend to present differently than men, and traditionally ASD/ADHD have been seen as mainly male issues. Thankfully this is starting to change.

That said, it's really unhelpful when people say things like, 'I'm having a panic attack!' when they're really just nervous, 'I'm totally OCD' when they like to colour code their schedule, or 'OMG my ADHD is acting up lol' when they lose their train of thought or get disorganized. Panic Disorder, OCD, and ADHD are real and serious psychiatric diagnoses which often cause significant suffering and hardship to those afflicted. Every time someone makes an offhand joke about their 'ADHD', it makes people less likely to take me seriously when I need to explain that I actually do have ADHD. It's like when people claim to be allergic to things they just don't like. They don't realize that they're creating a climate in which people with actual psychiatric or medical disorders are not taken seriously, and the harm that can cause. You wouldn't claim you had diabetes if your stomach hurt from eating too much sugar, so don't blame your 'OCD' for not liking to use public washrooms.

[RubyRei]

@pandora Honestly I haven’t been on social media for so long I’m having trouble coming up with examples. What first comes  kind are memes that.... well, I can’t say they’re wrong or that I don’t laugh or don’t relate to, but they kind of make it funny and promote a let’s laugh about being depressed or wanting to die or whatever attitude. I’m totally not saying it’s not okay to deal with your disorders in ways that help you, like with humor, but after a while it feels like it just becomes “in” to say those things. A lot of tweets about having anxiety or being depressed or wanting to kill yourself (whether diagnosed or not or true or not) give me the same vibe. Tumblr is a whole different story that I’m not even going to get into. 

I feel like I’m losing this challenge 100%  I really am kind of blanking on good examples. Let me just use this. One my close friends has several psychiatric disorders and she deals by making light of it in various ways on social media. I agree with her and i can laugh, but FOR ME, I don’t think it’s healthy in the long run to constantly laugh about depression and dying and such because it does feed into my suicide ideations.  When people without mental illness do these things its just obnoxious because they don’t even know what theyre talking about. 

Like i kinda of said before, it’s a fine line to tow between acceptance and solidarity vs. “normalizing” and downplaying the seriousness of it. I really know this is a terrible argument tbh but i know for me the laughing it off (especially about death and suicide) is not healthy  and I’m not sure how much of it is healthy for anyone. 

Please don’t take this shitty ramble to mean you can’t have a sense of humor about bad stuff or you can’t express your true feelings. Online culture has its ups and downs in various ways for every individual is kind of what I’m getting at. 

[justoneoftwo]

The easiest example I can think of for what RubyRei is saying would be pro ana sites.  

I was part of one, it was interesting.  In the end I think they actually helped me toward recovery, but the end was a while coming.  We would give hints, hints for goals, hints for hiding, hints for everything.  We felt connected and like it was okay to be what we were, even while knowing it was sick.  We had pregnant ana women on there, discussing how to deal with it while not hurting the baby, we had people who's families were finding out.  We also had people say goodbye as they were entering hospitals or deciding to try to recover.  

I could explain more I suppose, but I might need specific questions.

When it comes to depression I had a group of friends who normalized it for me.  That was super helpful, because its one of those things that makes no sense to people who haven't experienced it.  I can see how it might have seemed "in" for our group though, and pushed people to do worse things (it didn't for me, when I came "out" to them they were helpful and it was after my suicide attempt).  

So basically I can see both sides, even the pro ana site was helpful to me.  

[RubyRei]

@pandora I just searched “memes about depression” and this wasn’t too far down. I’ve had many many days like this, but I don’t consider it “lmao x)” funny (CW: SUICIDE IDEATION)

Spoiler

I’m sure people will think I’m being nit-picky and dragging on but I just wanted to explain how I feel and provide an example of what I mean!

[pandora]

7 minutes ago, RubyRei said:

@pandora I just searched “memes about depression” and this wasn’t too far down. I’ve had many many days like this, but I don’t consider it “lmao x)” funny (CW: SUICIDE IDEATION)

  Reveal hidden contents

I’m sure people will think I’m being nit-picky and dragging on but I just wanted to explain how I feel and provide an example of what I mean!

I totally see what you mean, I stay away from a lot of meme accounts on instagram for that reason, not that they're morally wrong but self-deprecating "I can't do this life" stuff doesn't make me feel good either. I asked because the immediate examples that sprang to mind for me were similar-veined memes about drinking, and also bodyinspo stuff that gets really shamey about food and promotes shitty body image but has captions about loving your flaws and how we all have insecurities. Bleck. 

Thanks @RubyRei for responding, you said above you didn't think you were responding well to this challenge, sorry if it wasn't clear- I said NOT a challenge, wasn't trying to take you into a bad place and I appreciate how hard talking about this stuff can be! I'm glad you're taking care of yourself by recognizing what can be negative for you and not having it in your life.