Seewalds 32: The Big If

[KelseyAnn]

I'm sorry but I just don't think it's ever okay to self-diagnose. Self-advocate, of course, yes, but never self-diagnose. I have BDP, and I am sick to death of having to hide it because little shitheads like to say they have the disorder to get away with really shitty behavior. It stigmatizes people who have it and are getting help for it. And, also, while you're busy self-diagnosing with one thing it could be very ikely you have something entirely else. 

[singsingsing]

I think it all comes down to what works for you. I've tried to join various support groups or discussion forums related to my psychiatric/neurological issues over the years, and in every case I left after a few weeks at most. They made me feel worse and just seemed to reinforce the problematic behaviours and thought patterns and almost justify remaining stuck in a really negative head space about it all. Again, that was just my personal experience. The reason I felt that way is not because all of those groups are bad, but because the way they impacted me personally was negative. On the flip side, after leaving the Christian church, I found groups of ex-believers/ex-church-goers to be really helpful and affirming. 

8 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

I'm sorry but I just don't think it's ever okay to self-diagnose. Self-advocate, of course, yes, but never self-diagnose. I have BDP, and I am sick to death of having to hide it because little shitheads like to say they have the disorder to get away with really shitty behavior. It stigmatizes people who have it and are getting help for it. And, also, while you're busy self-diagnosing with one thing it could be very ikely you have something entirely else. 

It totally depends on what you're doing with your self diagnosis. If you go around using your self diagnosis as a weapon, telling people that you have X to excuse your shitty behaviour or to get special treatment, that's a problem. But if you're using your self diagnosis to better understand yourself and to apply some of the coping techniques and strategies available for that disorder to help improve your life, I don't really see the issue. Of course ideally everyone would be formally diagnosed, but it's not feasible for a lot of people. And I think it also depends on what you mean by self diagnosis - I'm talking about people who'll say something like, "I'm almost positive that I have dyslexia but I cannot afford to be formally diagnosed" rather than people who actually lie and claim to be diagnosed when they haven't been. 

[RubyRei]

53 minutes ago, pandora said:

Thanks @RubyRei for responding, you said above you didn't think you were responding well to this challenge, sorry if it wasn't clear- I said NOT a challenge, wasn't trying to take you into a bad place and I appreciate how hard talking about this stuff can be!

You’re so sweet!  I actually only said that in jest since you said it wasn’t a competition. I guess sarcasm doesn’t always read over the internet 

But thank you and I’m so glad you understood what I was trying to get across. I swear I just felt like I was talking nonsense! But yeah, it’s all about knowing what is and is not good for you personally!

[Daisy0322]

@singsingsing THANK YOU!!!! Ugh I'm ACTUALLY dyslexic and 80% of people when I tell them arelike "OMG ME TOO!!! I totally said 21 yesterday and I meant 12!" It pisses me off to no end. 

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, Daisy0322 said:

@singsingsing THANK YOU!!!! Ugh I'm ACTUALLY dyslexic and 80% of people when I tell them arelike "OMG ME TOO!!! I totally said 21 yesterday and I meant 12!" It pisses me off to no end. 

Yeah, it's a big joke to some people. I think most of them don't mean it maliciously, but they truly don't understand what it's actually like to have a learning disability, and if they did they definitely wouldn't think it was something cute and quirky to label themselves with.

[neurogirl]

I am a young millennial ('93 baby) and NOT having a mental illness seems to be the minority condition for my friend groups and peers. Most common is depression of varying severities, but in my 10 person college group there was, that I know of, the following diagnoses: 1 OCD, 1 ADHD, 2 eating disorders, 2 depression, 2 anxiety disorders. I don't think its related to smart phones solely, but more that in the US "the American Dream" is harder to obtain, young people have more debt, feel like they have to be constantly competitive to go to college/get a job/reach a comfortable existence, they believe America is in trouble (both political sides) and people are on their own...and then the news/friends and family issues/work or school is constantly at the fingertips. That's my take on it anyway. 

Unrelated point, I have been diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, and have taken/am taking medication for it, but I've never had the textbook panic attack where I feel like I'm dying. It's more of low-key background fear with spikes. I would however say I have had "anxiety attacks" vs "panic attacks" but its hard to pin down because it was so tied in to my eating disorder that it just feels like an "eating disorder attack" still, even though I would consider myself 98% recovered. Said attack is the heart racing, flushed, crawling-out-my-skin feeling accompanied by thoughts that made my body such an unfriendly place. I would use behaviors/bite my nails/put an icepack on my face/rock back and forth but never feel that I'm dying because I stayed grounded in exactly what I was feeling. I don't know if that really is a panic attack because I could still appear semi-functional if I had to. But they still suck. Good luck to everyone dealing with mental illness and I hope you find management options that work for you. 

[VelociRapture]

23 minutes ago, neurogirl said:

I am a young millennial ('93 baby) and NOT having a mental illness seems to be the minority condition for my friend groups and peers. Most common is depression of varying severities, but in my 10 person college group there was, that I know of, the following diagnoses: 1 OCD, 1 ADHD, 2 eating disorders, 2 depression, 2 anxiety disorders. I don't think its related to smart phones solely, but more that in the US "the American Dream" is harder to obtain, young people have more debt, feel like they have to be constantly competitive to go to college/get a job/reach a comfortable existence, they believe America is in trouble (both political sides) and people are on their own...and then the news/friends and family issues/work or school is constantly at the fingertips. That's my take on it anyway. 

Unrelated point, I have been diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, and have taken/am taking medication for it, but I've never had the textbook panic attack where I feel like I'm dying. It's more of low-key background fear with spikes. I would however say I have had "anxiety attacks" vs "panic attacks" but its hard to pin down because it was so tied in to my eating disorder that it just feels like an "eating disorder attack" still, even though I would consider myself 98% recovered. Said attack is the heart racing, flushed, crawling-out-my-skin feeling accompanied by thoughts that made my body such an unfriendly place. I would use behaviors/bite my nails/put an icepack on my face/rock back and forth but never feel that I'm dying because I stayed grounded in exactly what I was feeling. I don't know if that really is a panic attack because I could still appear semi-functional if I had to. But they still suck. Good luck to everyone dealing with mental illness and I hope you find management options that work for you. 

Here’s information on panic attacks:

https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/panic-disorder-agoraphobia/symptoms#

I think you need to experience at least four symptoms during an attack to have it officially classified as a true panic attack. Personally, my attacks have all included:

1. Palpitations

2. Sweating

3. Trembling

4. Nausea and abdominal distress

5. Feeling lightheaded and

6. Chills

The first time I had a panic attack I did believe I was dying because I had no clue what was happening. I actually said out loud to my mom and husband that I felt like I was going to die. Fortunately, my husband had experienced panic attacks as well and my mom has enough experience with anxiety and postpartum hormones to know that wasn’t really going to happen. After being diagnosed with panic attacks in the hospital ER the next night I was able to stay grounded enough during the other panic attacks to know I was not going to actually die. 

I will say that the worst part of my attacks isn’t the intensity of my symptoms (which can be pretty bad), but the duration. Panic attacks aren’t supposed to last very long, but mine do. The anxiety usually creeps up on me, turns into a full blown panic attack, starts to ease up, and then intensifies again. This ebbing and intensifying repeats over and over for hours at a time. It’s horrible and during my attacks I’m almost useless - the baby is the only person who is able to pull me together a bit and even then it’s just enough to take care of her. 

[MargaretElliott]

I don't usually say anything when it comes up, but it makes me uncomfortable when people used terms like anxiety and OCD in a light, casual context. I have anxiety, I was diagnosed with it. And while I don't have OCD, I have a few of the symptoms, and will occasionally suffer from both obsessions and compulsions. Neither is fun. Neither is a joke. Neither is to be taken lightly. You are not OCD if you like to color-code your files. You might have OCD symptoms if you feel panicked and cannot move forward with your day unless your files are color-coded. It's serious stuff, at least to someone who lives it.

There's also a massive difference between accepting your mental illness and using it as an excuse. A friend of mine has a cluster B personality disorder and really hurt a lot of people- not because of the disorder, but it did complicate things and cloud his judgement. But he regularly talks about the mistakes he's made, apologizes, owns his accountability, and takes active steps not to make those mistakes again. No excuses.

Another also has a cluster B personality disorder and uses it as an excuse to brush off and gaslight all the people she's hurt. Like her actions aren't her responsibility, and she doesn't have to give a shit about anyone else's feelings, and they should just excuse all of her behavior because "she can't help it." Meanwhile she refuses any kind of therapy or counseling, though she can afford it. She's more of a begrudging acquaintance, at this point. Mutual friends and all that.

I'm glad people are more accepting of mental illness. Hell, I have it. It was really crippling for about four years. No one in my life really understood at that time, they just got angry when I had panic attacks because they didn't know what was going on.... but now I have a better support system and awesome humans who know how to support me. And I'm eternally grateful to them. There will always be people who don't understand. There are people who don't realize why it's not helpful to yell at a person having a panic attack to "stop crying, it's not a big deal," but the more people that are educated about mental health, the better. 

@VelociRapture Thanks for sharing your experiences. I too have panic attacks that ebb and flow, and often last hours, or all night. Much love to you 

[feministxtian]

Count me in on the whole mental illness/mental health thing. I've tried very hard to never use it as an excuse for anything at all...however, the time has come for me to start the social security disability process, mostly due to the problems after my car accident. However, I found out that mental illness gets you extra "points"...and since I have no insurance and therefore am unmedicated...well, life pretty much sucks ass...so this is the one time I will attempt to use it to my advantage. Crossing my fingers for success before I die! 

[Alisamer]

3 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Here’s information on panic attacks:

https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/panic-disorder-agoraphobia/symptoms#

I think you need to experience at least four symptoms during an attack to have it officially classified as a true panic attack. Personally, my attacks have all included:

1. Palpitations

2. Sweating

3. Trembling

4. Nausea and abdominal distress

5. Feeling lightheaded and

6. Chills

That's what that is? Omg. I'm glad to finally have a name for that. I don't have that happen very often but when I do it is so scary. 

As as for self diagnosing, I do know generally it's a bad thing and way too many people do it, but when your doctor basically says "you do have all the symptoms of depression but I don't think you have it. Just exercise more." It's tempting to self diagnose. I'm positive if I was a size 2 I'd have gotten help and a diagnosis years before I did. Second opinions cost money. 

Hugs to everyone dealing with hard stuff right now. Things feel bleak all over these days. 

[just_ordinary]

Self-diagnosing is very dangerous in my mind. Same with self-medicating. There is a reason doctors have to study and train for years and even more when they decide to go into a certain field (in my country they have to prove to stay on top with new scientific research to obtain their status).

Just because you tick of so many boxes on a test doesn’t mean you actually have this condition. It means you might have a condition and should go and see a doctor. If it would be that easy I would have a ton of disorders or illnesses (from ADHD to cancer) but I absolutely have nothing. I had a phase of light depression and saw a therapist for it. I would never say that I am suffering from depression though. Doing fine now. He said it happens a lot with young people when they are in front of big life decisions like finishing school or university. Those cases just need some help/coaching to get well again. That is different than having a mental illness. I know now that I am prone to deal with similar issues again. It is just something I have to watch so I can act if necessary. 

[candygirl200413]

You guys are all awesome for sharing this. I really hope that one day mental health loses its stigma and I"m sending all the positive thoughts for those that are struggling.

My freshman year was miserable and I sadly used to be in the mindset of why don't people just act happy/just feel better already? It was some type of episode that I don't want to self diagnosis but that I just felt like I didn't deserve to be happy. I did end up going to therapy and have done well since then but I'm mad that it took a personal experience to realize my wrong idea when it's something that I should have just realized that it doesn't work that way at all.

[FundieCentral]

Also lots of opinions incoming: 

I had a bit of a rough time when I was younger. Did all sorts of things that would have been diagnosed as a mental illness, had I allowed anyone to diagnose me. But even though I never wanted to believe it at the time, I grew out of a lot of it. I am really concerned when I see children and teenagers diagnosed and medicated for mild symptoms of mental illness. Depression, anxiety, anger etc. are all normal aspects of the human emotional spectrum. I would not medicate them out of my child unless they become severe long-term issues, which in my opinion is a hard determination to make with a child. 

Count me into the club where most people I know here in the US have a diagnosis, and many people really identify with it and are kind of proud (?), which strikes me as a bit odd. It might go along with the “being able to have it as an excuse” sort of mentality. People around me also often self-diagnose and take medication for things that are arguably more life problems than biochemistry problems. There is a certain unwillingness to address underlying problems (bad relationships, bad career choices, bad living situation etc). I do think that affects how seriously people take mental illness. Going out with a bunch of people where 80% of the group profess to have an anxiety disorder (but no one shows any symptoms) does sort of make it look like less of a problem than it can be. On the other end of the spectrum, you have a lot of people with severe mental illness who can’t function by themselves and need constant supervision, but no help is available. It’s a difficult situation. 

Regarding the surge in percentages, I sometimes think that it is internalization of external societal problems and lack of social support that’s causing this most recent uptick, in addition to a “trend effect.” 

[singsingsing]

7 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

many people really identify with it and are kind of proud (?), which strikes me as a bit odd.

How should we feel about it? Ashamed?

7 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

People around me also often self-diagnose and take medication for things that are arguably more life problems than biochemistry problems.

How are they taking medication for things that are self-diagnosed? Unless they're buying this medication illegally, a doctor or psychiatrist must have prescribed it, right?

7 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

There is a certain unwillingness to address underlying problems (bad relationships, bad career choices, bad living situation etc).

How do you know that it's not an underlying mental illness that's causing that issue, rather than the other way around? Often when people are mentally ill they have significant trouble addressing underlying problems in their lives. That's why mental illness can be so devastating and debilitating. 

7 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

Going out with a bunch of people where 80% of the group profess to have an anxiety disorder (but no one shows any symptoms) does sort of make it look like less of a problem than it can be.

Are you a psychologist, a psychiatrist or a doctor? How can you possibly say that someone must not have an anxiety disorder simply because they don't 'show symptoms' when you go out with them? People with anxiety disorders have often made an art of appearing 'normal' no matter what is going on inside of them. How can you possibly judge that?

I don't mean to bash you because I'm sure you don't mean it maliciously, but the attitudes you're expressing here are a huge part of the reason that the stigma of mental illness is alive and well. 

[Carm_88]

Shame has to come out of mental illness, that is one thing that is certain. People cannot simply wish a mental illness away, just as they cannot wish away cancer or diabetes. I generally try not to judge. Unless it's someone using a mental illness lightly as in the examples that people have given, then they're getting some side eye. I arrange my books alphabetically, I don't like it when soft covers are next to hard cover, I don't like people messing it up. I do not have OCD, it doesn't ruin my day if someone does it, it's just an annoyance. 

[Rachel333]

I think the complaints about people being proud of mental illnesses and/or using them as excuses and of over-diagnosis and over-medication actually show how much stigma there still is. It's not that those issues don't exist (the culture around mental illness on sites like tumblr is so toxic), but the threshold for people perceiving mentally ill people as using their illness for attention or excuses seems to be a lot lower than it is for physical illness.

[RubyRei]

@Rachel333 I definitely agree that’s true! I felt so ashamed and embarrassed every time I had to tell people I don’t work or go to school because of bipolar/anxiety (finally finished my AA after six years, four different schools, two 72 hour holds, and one suicide attempt!) because people perceive it to be such a non problem. 

I’ve had chronic fatigue for 11 years but wasn’t diagnosed so I never said anything. Finally I was diagnosed with Lyme disease (a very complicated and obnoxious and overall letdown of a journey to discovering this) and now when people ask (eye doctors, dentists, general practitioners, the whole nosy-ass world) I get SO much sympathy about it. 

I don’t tell people for the sympathy. I don’t even tell people unless they ask. But I always finish off my “why” with Lyme disease because suddenly I’m not seen as a big ball of shame and laziness 

[Escadora]

If I could also chime in for just a sec, I believe - truly - that the self-diagnosing that happens in young female teenagers and women might also be due to a lack of being  taken seriously (though I'm not going to deny that people can and do latch onto a word or condition or diagnosis to feel like they belong, because I'm sure it does happen). Throughout my teenage years my doctor refused to listen to me when I would go in with complaints of dizziness, bad (and I mean bad) period cramps, and  other health issues, and though that's not necessarily a mental health issue, it did leave me afraid to go to the doctor and be told I was just faking for attention, or lying to get out of school.  When I was having issues with anxiety that I believe could have been fixed with just some simple acknowledgement that I was suffering, and help with the things that were causing me stresses, I sought help, and ultimately I was left to 'get over it' and what were once tiny, wriggly, insignificant doubts about the world and my place in it led to panic attacks (real, actual panic attacks, not just moments of feeling overwhelmed) and other symptoms that really should have been taken seriously. 

I still struggle with this in times of deep stress and uncertainty, and it was actually going through my university's health and welfare team that I was able to get the diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, and my GP ended up being quite angry that I didn't try to pursue a diagnosis through him. Self-diagnosing, for sure, can be harmful. And, actually, what I thought I had ended up being very different from what I was diagnosed with. But all that pales in insignificance to the fact that many times in my life, I have known that something was wrong and wasn't listened to/ was told I was lying or attention-seeking. And whilst I think that people should definitely endeavour to get properly, medically diagnosed before getting comfortable with whatever condition/disorder they believe they have, I do also very firmly believe that medical professionals and those who trained to deal with mental health should take people seriously when they come in seeking help, especially if those people are children/teenagers (who often are the people listened to in this world the very least). idk though i think I'm preaching to the choir here. 

[VelociRapture]

@MargaretElliott Thank you. The panic attacks are horrible when they happen, but I’m very fortunate that they seem to be happening less and less as my daughter gets older. I think her premature birth and NICU stay affected me far more than I originally realized and is something that is going to take a lot of time to come to terms with. I still can’t do some things (like attending a peaceful political protest or sharing a lot of photos of my toddler on Facebook) without risking a panic attack, but I know what is likely to trigger one now and I do my best to avoid those situations when I can and prepare as best as I can when I can’t avoid them. I’m hoping that eventually I go back to the more manageable anxiety I had prior to my pregnancies.

And much love to you too!  

[singsingsing]

@Escadora I also know from personal experience exactly what that's like. From my early teens on I was constantly saying that there was something wrong with my brain. I just knew it. I could tell. It was obvious (to me). I begged for help again and again from the people who were in a position to help me, and I was blown off every time. At most they would say, "Yes, you have anxiety and depression." Well, yes, but I'm telling you that there's something underlying that. I knew enough at that time to know that I probably had a learning disorder related to mathematics, but again I was brushed off by teachers and psychologists. I was told that I was imagining it or overreacting. That my problem was being 'too negative' or thinking that something was wrong with me when it was actually nothing.

I really don't know why so many professionals were bound and determined to convince me (and themselves) that my brain was perfectly normal. I would love to believe that. It would make everything so much easier. Sometimes I think they thought they were doing me a favour, giving me a pep talk or something - like I could positively think myself out of my neurological disorder. Because that's what I have. When I finally found a psychologist who took me seriously and did an actual assessment, it became VERY clear that I have a severe learning disability, ADHD, and pretty ridiculous executive function deficits. Not like, "Oh yeah, you've got a few little issues here." No, it's debilitating, it's permanent, and I was born with it. There's zero question. If they had taken me seriously in the first place, maybe I would've been diagnosed at 15 instead of 29. Instead, their exhortations to 'stop being so down on myself' contributed to years and years of misery, suffering, confusion, and lost opportunities. 

Just... take people seriously when they come to you saying, "I think I may have X" and asking for help. If they're faking, they're faking. If they're wrong, they're wrong. It should be pretty clear if you actually give them a thorough evaluation. Most people are not mastermind sociopaths who can fake having something as distinct and complex as, say, ASD. I know there are people who try to fake having ADHD in particular because they want to be prescribed stimulants, but it's still pretty hard if the assessment is more in-depth than simply checking off a list of symptoms.

[Joyfully_Unavailable]

8 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

@Escadora I also know from personal experience exactly what that's like. From my early teens on I was constantly saying that there was something wrong with my brain. I just knew it. I could tell. It was obvious (to me). I begged for help again and again from the people who were in a position to help me, and I was blown off every time. At most they would say, "Yes, you have anxiety and depression." Well, yes, but I'm telling you that there's something underlying that. I knew enough at that time to know that I probably had a learning disorder related to mathematics, but again I was brushed off by teachers and psychologists. I was told that I was imagining it or overreacting. That my problem was being 'too negative' or thinking that something was wrong with me when it was actually nothing.

I really don't know why so many professionals were bound and determined to convince me (and themselves) that my brain was perfectly normal. I would love to believe that. It would make everything so much easier. Sometimes I think they thought they were doing me a favour, giving me a pep talk or something - like I could positively think myself out of my neurological disorder. Because that's what I have. When I finally found a psychologist who took me seriously and did an actual assessment, it became VERY clear that I have a severe learning disability, ADHD, and pretty ridiculous executive function deficits. Not like, "Oh yeah, you've got a few little issues here." No, it's debilitating, it's permanent, and I was born with it. There's zero question. If they had taken me seriously in the first place, maybe I would've been diagnosed at 15 instead of 29. Instead, their exhortations to 'stop being so down on myself' contributed to years and years of misery, suffering, confusion, and lost opportunities. 

Just... take people seriously when they come to you saying, "I think I may have X" and asking for help. If they're faking, they're faking. If they're wrong, they're wrong. It should be pretty clear if you actually give them a thorough evaluation. Most people are not mastermind sociopaths who can fake having something as distinct and complex as, say, ASD. I know there are people who try to fake having ADHD in particular because they want to be prescribed stimulants, but it's still pretty hard if the assessment is more in-depth than simply checking off a list of symptoms.

This resonated with me a lot. I think the notion of not being taken seriously is a huge issue and only makes the problem worse. I was diagnosed with depression young and put on medication when I entered high school, but because my parents just wanted me “fixed” not enough was done to determine what could be making things worse. My parents are both in the medical field; my mother is an NP and my father is a doctor. An understanding of medicine does not necessarily guarantee you be steered in the right direction when it comes to diagnosis, treatment, etc. Granted, they weren’t treating me, but I expected them to be a step above most parents in being able to have an idea of what could be going on and help me accordingly. It wasn’t until I went to inpatient treatment 2 years ago that I finaliy got correct diagnoses (most I had expected all along) and I am having to work very hard to address the issues that were overlooked by my previous doctors. As human beings, nobody knows us better than we know ourselves. Coping mechanisms we have developed can often mask what’s going on. The majority of the people in my life had no idea I was as sick as I was and would often tell me not to be dramatic if I opened up about what I felt. The stigma is very real and I would rather people seek treatment for conditions they may not have than someone suffer through one they did have out of fear or doubt they would not be taken seriously.

[Escadora]

2 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Just... take people seriously when they come to you saying, "I think I may have X" and asking for help. If they're faking, they're faking. If they're wrong, they're wrong. It should be pretty clear if you actually give them a thorough evaluation. Most people are not mastermind sociopaths who can fake having something as distinct and complex as, say, ASD. I know there are people who try to fake having ADHD in particular because they want to be prescribed stimulants, but it's still pretty hard if the assessment is more in-depth than simply checking off a list of symptoms.

I do know that lately there's been some concern within medicine that there has been a trend of over-diagnosing certain disorders and not enough of others (something that my old psychology used to refer to as 'the medicalisation of normal human behaviour'), but - in my opinion - that's a pretty crappy excuse to allow people to suffer when help can be so easily given.

I also think that people who knowingly lie about having X condition tend to not know exactly what it is they're idealising. The reality of it is that depression is not staring out of a window on a rainy day with a heavy heart and not feeling hungry for a while, and that anxiety is not feeling scared or worried occasionally. Autism is not having cute, relatable quirks and being a tad bit socially awkward. OCD is not wanting your colours in order just for the aesthetic, or wanting things in a certain way just to make yourself happy. Of course, these are all things that people who have these conditions may experience, but it goes way deeper than that. Again, preaching to the choir. I'm normally the first to defend any entity that provides vulnerable people with a community, and I used to love Tumblr myself, but the whole idealisation of mental illness and appropriation of terms and strategies designed to help people with these difficulties to navigate the world in an easier way (think or words like 'triggered' and 'safe space', which have now become so easily mocked that it makes me cringe to even type them, when they started out as being useful, medical terms) makes my blood boil because mental illness is neither a coat you can remove at the end of a day nor a death sentence. It just seems to be that there's a total lack of respect for mental illness and wellness in both professional and mainstream culture, and that's something that will hopefully change given time.

Also, @singsingsing , I'm really sorry you also had to experience this (not being believed, etc...), it's a tough boat to have been in, and I'm glad you were finally listened to, though it should have been a lot sooner. I hope you don't mind me asking, and if you feel like I'm prying too much then please do feel free not to answer, but how do you feel about seeking medical help when you need it now that you have your diagnosis? I still find myself pretty uneasy with the idea and - though there are some things going on that I logically know I should see a doctor for, that fear of being brushed aside tends to lead me to just put up and shut up.  

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

21 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

@singsingsing THANK YOU!!!! Ugh I'm ACTUALLY dyslexic and 80% of people when I tell them arelike "OMG ME TOO!!! I totally said 21 yesterday and I meant 12!" It pisses me off to no end. 

I have ADD with MINOR OCD tendencies and have since childhood, though in the 70s & 80's I was just a brat with no self control.  In the 90's when ADD/ADHD 1st became "a thing" my parents and others would "joke" that that sounds like me, but still thought it was a made up illness for lazy parents.  It wasn't until a complete anxiety break down about 3 years ago that led to a hospitalization that I was officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist (I was 44).  Because of my addictive personality, I don't want meds so I'm trying behavior therapy, honestly it helps that people just know that I'm not lazy, or stupid or spacy, I have a real condition and I TRY to work with it. So I to hate it when people say Oh yeah I totally have ADD I spaced off this or that.  I'm like look until you've started making cookies, then started cleaning out a drawer when you couldn't find the parchment paper, then went to the linen closet to find shelf paper, and started organizing the linen closet because it was a mess, and then ran down 3 flights of stairs to do laundry with all the old towels you found shoved in the back of the closet (all the while the ingredients for the cookies are still sitting on the counter 1/2 mixed the oven is on and its been 2 hours) and your husband and kids have to help finish he cookies and clean up the mess. Untill you've wandered away from business contact at work because you "forgot" you were talking to them because they talked to long and you stopped paying attention, or only get 1/2 your class work done because you "get bored" and move on to quickly, or have 3000 projects 1/2 started that you never finish because you lose interest, or you have to bring your 12 year old with you to a doctor appointment so SOMEONE gets all the information the doctor gives you because you aren't able to pay attention for that long, don't even talk to me about ADD because you misplaced for your fucking keys. 

[singsingsing]

1 hour ago, Escadora said:

Also, @singsingsing , I'm really sorry you also had to experience this (not being believed, etc...), it's a tough boat to have been in, and I'm glad you were finally listened to, though it should have been a lot sooner. I hope you don't mind me asking, and if you feel like I'm prying too much then please do feel free not to answer, but how do you feel about seeking medical help when you need it now that you have your diagnosis? I still find myself pretty uneasy with the idea and - though there are some things going on that I logically know I should see a doctor for, that fear of being brushed aside tends to lead me to just put up and shut up.

I don't mind at all, and I'm actually really glad you asked me this, because it gave me a different perspective - I actually do have issues with seeking medical help when I need it. I also have severe hypochondria, and part of the irrational fear is that if I experience a medical crisis, no one will help me. I'm pretty positive that this has something to do with what I went through with my neuropsychological issues and being ignored/brushed off. 

[Jellybean]

This resonated with me too - finding it hard to seek help for new symptoms.

As a child/teenager I started to have problems with my heart racing and getting dizzy, fatigue (I could sleep for 36 hours straight), blurred vision, and fainting or blacking out. Classic attention seeking behaviour, I was told. I was anxious, I was told. I was a hypochondriac and making mountains out of molehills, I was told. 

It turned out, when I finally had testing in my early 30s, that I actually have quite severe autonomic dysfunction. The part of my nervous system that regulates automatic functions like blood pressure and heart rate, and contributes to regulation of body temperature, sweating, oxygen levels, etc. doesn’t work properly.

Even when I found a cardiologist who suggested this as a possible diagnosis, I didn’t really believe him. I had extensive testing, but had every expectation that the tests wouldn’t show anything and I would be told that I was just making a whole lot of fuss about nothing. I wasn’t prepared for the usually-dry report to say things like ‘never seen it to this extent’ - it was very odd to be in a position of having them have to convince me that it was definitely NOT all in my head and this was not something that would go away if I continued to ignore it.

Women have long been treated unfairly and had their pain and other symptoms dismissed, and I think teenagers are particularly vulnerable to this. If we can be more open to listening to them about how they feel, acknowledging that their distress is real, that would seem like a good start. Understanding the possibility of mental illness (and being prepared to offer further testing and appropriate treatment) is good, and if people are not scared of being dismissed or stigmatised for having a mental illness, that has the bonus that other illnesses may also be picked up and treated. Hopefully, whatever the diagnosis, this reduces the damage done to their bodies, minds, and self-esteem.