Bro Gary Hawkins 5: Preaching From The Basement In Bed

[SuperNova]

31 minutes ago, Snarkylark said:

That’s 4 people working for at least an hour, not including all the other duties involved- for a profit of maybe $40, if that- fuzzy math.  GET A REAL JOB, GARY! But welcome back from hibernation!

Yeah, but that's assuming that the time spent selling gumball machine joory is taking away from something else. Anything else. If you're planning on sitting around on your ass all day every day, why not set up a camera and sell some crap while your at it? 40 bucks and they don't have to commit to a schedule. That's a win/win in the Hawkins household...or church basement.

[General Jinjur]

Arrrgh! I can't believe I missed the poopertrooper show. Dangit.

[Snarkylark]

8 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Yeah, but that's assuming that the time spent selling gumball machine joory is taking away from something else. Anything else. If you're planning on sitting around on your ass all day every day, why not set up a camera and sell some crap while your at it? 40 bucks and they don't have to commit to a schedule. That's a win/win in the Hawkins household...or church basement.

It’s still a measly amount of money and not worth all the work and harassing your friends and family. Perhaps they could spend the time getting out and taking a walk!

1 minute ago, General Jinjur said:

Arrrgh! I can't believe I missed the poopertrooper show. Dangit.

It was still up on their shared page last night. I didn’t not watch it live! Lol

[Snarkylark]

Oops! Too late to edit- I DID NOT watch it live. Lol

[Yogi]

Oh poor Becky. Not even two minutes in and I have such embarrassment for her. When she starts talking about the $1 jewelry and says, ‘So (sigh) it’s really not (pause, sigh) much.... not much for that.’ 

I can tell she doesn’t really want to be doing this. But she is doing her best. 

Bro Gary just described the ‘little itty balls hanging down’ off one of the earrings. 

I do not think I’m going to be able to finish watching this at work. 

[PumaLover]

Forgot to watch it live so I'm watching it now. I had to laugh when he said they're trying to make some money on the side. 

On the side of WHAT!?

[keepercjr]

My Cotton (sleeps In weird poses) was a tiny stray found in my neighborhood (likely dump as no mother and no siblings) so she isn’t pure anything but she looks just like a rag doll.  An ornery, diva rag doll.  She started out with a dark tail and some grey eyeliner at 5 weeks old and turned into a gorgeous fluffy kitty.

 

[Godless Slūt]

After the Ween horror popping up on FB I went a bit mental and googled “cooking with hotdogs”. 

I’m going to try to put the results under spoilers just in case someone needs to eat the same day they scroll through Bro Gary’s thread. Although, it should be obvious by now that eating & Bro Gary ARE mutually exclusive activities!  I can’t figure out the spoiler function  can some kind soul with a strong stomach please help with that? Thank you!

-Sis not eating weens Evah again

OHHH I forgot! I also found an awesome octopus carving for the Polar Octopus! That should be in the pics too. It doesn’t need a spoiler because it’s hella cool (imho) . 

Also there seems to be a strange overlap between weens and octopuses; so very, very odd.

Spoiler

[keepercjr]

So Bro Gary’s daughter Michaela was commenting on the video which gives further evidence that she isn’t living with them anymore.  What a sad situation.  Out of 8 kids between the 2 of them, only 2 are still with them.  All of Becky’s are gone living with her ex and his husband and who knows who Gary’s daughter is living with.  I can’t say that says great things about this supposed preacher.  

[Snarkylark]

They’ve posted pictures of their poopy scoopy jewry. For the love! If you can’t take decent pictures to make $5 jewry look good maybe you shouldn’t even bother. 

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

26 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

So Bro Gary’s daughter Michaela was commenting on the video which gives further evidence that she isn’t living with them anymore.  What a sad situation.  Out of 8 kids between the 2 of them, only 2 are still with them.  All of Becky’s are gone living with her ex and his husband and who knows who Gary’s daughter is living with.  I can’t say that says great things about this supposed preacher.  

I saw that!  If you go to Michaela's cover photo on her FB, she's pictured with 8? other kids and two adults.  Does anyone have any idea who those folks are?

[Godless Slūt]

Oh my Rufus! I am almost completely caught up on GHaw. As I was reading I had a memory pop-up from the vast recesses of my childhood (most of which has been buried under concrete in a quadruple locked thought box) and it was HORRIFYING! 

See my grandfather married a truly lovely lady when I was about 10. She was smart, well-traveled, child-less, citified and I think she went a bit crazy adjusting to small town life in Montana. To fill her time she decided to learn to cook. This was in the mid70s when the height of gourmet food was a good jell-o mold! And cooking was not her forté. My cousins and I weren’t able to eat her Mac ‘n’ cheese and it came from a box. 

So one night during a big family gathering, Easter? Maybe, she debuts her brand new, bestest ever, gourmet dish. It was a hell-o mold. It was a bundt cake mold of tomato jell-o (not aspic!) with weens sliced up in it and corn, green beans & something else also mixed in. Then the whole thing was surrounded by cold hamburger in a dry sloppy joe sauce. My Uncle blurted out “Jeesus fucking kerist” and that’s the blessed end of my memory! 

I’d like to add a picture but I want to eat this week...

ETA And to think I probably wouldn’t have ever had that memory return if it weren’t for Bro Gary’s pink weens in ME! He is truly the gift that keeps giving... nausea. 

[keepercjr]

44 minutes ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

I saw that!  If you go to Michaela's cover photo on her FB, she's pictured with 8? other kids and two adults.  Does anyone have any idea who those folks are?

Those are Gary’s parents and all their grands minus Gary’s 2 boys.  It says the photo was from the 8th and that is when ghaw and Becky were at that tent revival thing.  The older boy and the 2 little girls on the left Belong to Gary’s sister and the rest belong to Gary’s brother.  I am guessing Michaela is staying with her grandparents.  Although Gary said in the video that he is staying in his daddy’s camper while they wait to get theirs fixed so maybe they are all on the same property now but I hope Michaela is in the house.

Poor Michaela looks so young.  I think she is over 18 but she looks like she is barely 12.

they posted 25 pictures of leftover joolry.  Not a good sale at all!  They have to purchase all that and just cross their fingers that it sells.  I am guessing they haven’t actually made a single cent yet.  According to the comments they sold 7 pieces (though someone bought 3 of the $1 rings so I counted that as one piece).  At 77% profit they made about $26.  Not even close to what the jewelry pack cost them assuming they bought the $99 pack of 35 pieces.

[Godless Slūt]

I also hope that Michaela is at least in the house. I’d wish her to be even further away from them but it is a start if she has made it that far. 

And wow that is terrible if they spent $99 that they canNot afford on trinkets. Now I am not a math wiz but I cannot see how they can sell any of it for $1. $99/35= $2.83. So selling 3 items for $1 a piece is an almost $6.00 loss yes? I mean maybe you’re supposed to make it up with the higher priced items but the whole thing just seems so SAD! 

I’ve been trying to nail down where GHaw was bornded & razed into the good preachin man he is Tuesday. I live in the south deep in the heart of the bi-bull belt and I can’t peg him as belonging to any where round anywhere. A lot of his idioms & foods (loosely used noun) seem to be, Rufus forgive me,  Appalachian from some lost hollow wayyy deep in the mountains. I suppose that could apply to Eastern TN & even ‘Bama & GA but I’m just not seeing it. Thoughts?

-Sis hoping for a ween-free society (notice not a Ween-free with a capital W. I do love some good Ween...) 

 

[Dandruff]

29 minutes ago, Godless Slūt said:

I’ve been trying to nail down where GHaw was bornded

I'll guess Petri dish.

[keepercjr]

They are live!!

[Godless Slūt]

@Dandruff Hahahaha! Omfg I legit just sprayed hot tea out of my nose and had to use my inhaler from laughing until I wheezed! 

I think you nailed it! 

[keepercjr]

26 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

I'll guess Petri dish.

Haha!  In reality it looks like Walnut Cove or Germanton North Carolina area.  I know nothing of the east coast so that is all I got.

[Godless Slūt]

10 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

Haha!  In reality it looks like Walnut Cove or Germanton North Carolina area.  I know nothing of the east coast so that is all I got.

Ohh! Thank you! It’s all starting to make sense now. I always pretend most of NC doesn’t exist. It’s such a beautiful state, shame about a large segment of its population. 

ETA I think that if the civil war happened now the Carolinas wouldn’t have been split in 2, both halves would be firmly pro-slavery and would just stay Carolina. 

[Nikedagain?]

20 minutes ago, Godless Slūt said:

Ohh! Thank you! It’s all starting to make sense now. I always pretend most of NC doesn’t exist. It’s such a beautiful state, shame about a large segment of its population. 

ETA I think that if the civil war happened now the Carolinas wouldn’t have been split in 2, both halves would be firmly pro-slavery and would just stay Carolina. 

Hey wait a minute! You mean you don't approve of our legislature that passes bills to force transgender individuals to use bathrooms that correspond to their birth certificate? Or is it that our Senators are among the 2 largest recipients of NRA money? How bout how we protect our Civil War monuments?? "It ain't hate, it's heritage" rings from mountain to coast! I mean what's not to love? 

/sarcasm

But Michael Jordan, y'all. We did that right <3

[DancingPhalanges]

@Nikedagain? You have the beaches! Some of my favorite vacays were there. 

And since you gave my cat her FJ name, Floofy Floof, I'm posting a pic for you. 

Spoiler

 

[Carol]

Oh. Dear. God. In. Heaven.

In the first video today(about 5 minutes long because it's such poor quality) Gray either burps or hiccups around 4:25 minutes/seconds in.  It's disgusting.

His hat's too small, he's distracting, he's crass and at two different points he says they are selling furniture(not Pocketrocket Joory) and then corrects himself and says maybe the lord is telling him to get a job selling furniture.

YES, GARY, GOD IS TELLING YOU EXACTLY THAT!!!  "GET A FUCKING JOB", SAID JESUS!!!

[Nikedagain?]

3 hours ago, DancingPhalanges said:

@Nikedagain? You have the beaches! Some of my favorite vacays were there. 

And since you gave my cat her FJ name, Floofy Floof, I'm posting a pic for you. 

  Hide contents

 

I love her. I really do.

[Coy Koi]

4 hours ago, keepercjr said:

they posted 25 pictures of leftover joolry.  Not a good sale at all!  They have to purchase all that and just cross their fingers that it sells.  I am guessing they haven’t actually made a single cent yet.  According to the comments they sold 7 pieces (though someone bought 3 of the $1 rings so I counted that as one piece).  At 77% profit they made about $26.  Not even close to what the jewelry pack cost them assuming they bought the $99 pack of 35 pieces.

2

It's even worse than that. They first bought the $99 introductory pack (I know because in the first video they mentioned having 35 pieces) but that is just a one-time deal. Then they bought another pack, and I don't know the exact price for those, but it's an even worse deal. The normal profit per piece is 35-45%, according to the website. All the "incentives" they're pretty much forced to offer (such as with their "drawling", or free pieces for hosting a party) come out of the seller's pocket.

This is all such extreme nonsense. If I was misguided enough to want to give the Weens $2, I'd rather just spend $2 and give it to them directly, not spend $8.50 for them to get about $2, with me paying $5 for a piece of crappy joory that will turn my skin green, plus $3.50 shipping. NOBODY actually wants your shitty joory, Weens. How bizarre to think anyone would...and badly enough to watch ridiculous videos over an hour long about it?! So weird.

I can kind of get the mindset of someone who is too proud to beg, and just wants to feel like they're offering something in return to people who give them money, even if it's not really something the people want. But with the Weens, that sure as hell isn't the case. It seems like it might also cut into their regular begging profits, because people who bought pockyrockies would feel like they'd already contributed, and were off the hook.

[Alisamer]

2 hours ago, Godless Slūt said:

Ohh! Thank you! It’s all starting to make sense now. I always pretend most of NC doesn’t exist. It’s such a beautiful state, shame about a large segment of its population. 

ETA I think that if the civil war happened now the Carolinas wouldn’t have been split in 2, both halves would be firmly pro-slavery and would just stay Carolina. 

Charlotte, Asheville and Raleigh/Durham would be like "get us out of here!" A good portion of us, at least. I really think I live in an ideal place location wise, mountains, lakes, beaches, major airport, decent weather mostly, IKEA, plenty of museums and places to go, lots of colleges and universities, both city and small town options, cost of living isn't crazy...

but then there are the people like Bro Gary. Way too many of them. Who vote according to their prejudices instead of for their own best interests.