Bro Gary Hawkins 5: Preaching From The Basement In Bed

[catlady]

1 hour ago, MarblesMom said:

Now we know where GHaw is staying and playing on his next road trip.

Last one in the gravy hot tub has to clean it!

oh my Rufus, i don't think there's enough brain bleach or tequila to get rid of the mental image of Bro Gary in the Gravy Hot Tub!!11!!!!!  i may need a vodka hot tub to recover from that......

[Beermeet]

52 minutes ago, Ramen Amen said:

 

Bwaahahaha!  Ok folks, that did just confirm the Brittish accent!  

Apparently, word on the cobblestone is that most modern day Jesus pictures are of Cesare Borgia.  Except the Nordic Jesus, of course.  

[Godless Slūt]

 

42 minutes ago, catlady said:

mental image of Bro Gary in the Gravy Hot Tub!!11!!!!!  i may need a vodka hot tub to recover

Oddly enough my mental image of this included huge floating roasted turkeys in the gravy... I have no idea why and now I am sooo glad I ate lunch before browsing Bro GHaw  

(I couldn’t find the *vomit* emoji) 

lol

[DancingPhalanges]

1 hour ago, catlady said:

oh my Rufus, i don't think there's enough brain bleach or tequila to get rid of the mental image of Bro Gary in the Gravy Hot Tub!!11!!!!!  i may need a vodka hot tub to recover from that......

Room for another in the Vodka Hot Tub?! Can it be the default meeting place on this thread? Please Rufus Chris!

[catlady]

@DancingPhalanges, yes, the Vodka Hot Tub has lots of room; hop in!

[DaisyD]

9 hours ago, Beermeet said:

Bwaahahaha!  Ok folks, that did just confirm the Brittish accent!  

Apparently, word on the cobblestone is that most modern day Jesus pictures are of Cesare Borgia.  Except the Nordic Jesus, of course.  

OMG! After watching the marginally accurate Borgias series (as in, there was a Bogia pope who had children) that actually makes a LOT of sense. It's pretty good propaganda if you think about it.

[Nikedagain?]

Need advice!

I am seriously considering driving the hour and a half to Candor in the morning to attend GHaw and fam's service. I really, really want to see this in person. I especially want to see how the kids behave around Bro. Gauge everyone's unease around Bro GHaw.

I am concerned though. My daughter has autism and we go to church (it's a really, really laid back, progressive, asd friendly congregation. our new pastor and his husband veryyyy committed to inclusion, in all sorts of ways) and no one cares if she stims, hums, claps, bat-dances or laughs. If she does any of these things at one of Bro's "meetings", will these people try to "lay hands" on her or cast out a demon? She would think it is all humorous, I'm sure. 

[Carol]

GarynBecky attempted 4(count 'em-4) more videos today in search of buyers for their joory.  The first three were short messes. Poor lighting, bad audio, poor reception, almost no viewers, poor descriptions, Gary pacing and twitching(thankfully, hatless), horrid background...and on and on.  The fourth was marginally better and went on to an unsteady completion.  I don't believe they sold a single piece.  

This has been a disaster, they need to quit so they aren't out more money.  

GET A FUCKING JOB GARY.  YOU CAN PREACH AND HAND OUT SHIT ON YOUR DAYS OFF.

[Dandruff]

If they're trying to get child visitation, I would think that a REAL job (steady, paying) would make a much bigger difference than trying to sell joory and toothpasta.  Wonder if this has occurred to them...

[Snarkylark]

Bets on how long their pocket rocket joory business will last??

[Candydandy]

Well folks I did see the newest video pappytrotzi sales show. Im titling it Becky and the hat. Seems Bro bought her the hat and it is now  showcased in the videos. I think the lighting has gotten worse as has Bro's pacing, twitching and whatnot.Not sure how much more jewerry they can not sell before calling quitsy. Brosy should get a jobsy then we wont have to watch anymore pappytratsy. 

Sis Candy

snarkin on a sunday feelin like a heathen- not sluttish since its still cold so Im in winter jammies 

[keepercjr]

Yes those videos were something else.  Gary was sure proud of himself for buying Becky that hat.  He must have mentioned it 4 or 5 times.  It made me laugh when he said she was “stylin’ and profilin’”.   She said it was a kids hat but it fit her and she liked it.    And is it really considered buying something for your wife if she is at the store with you?  Does she have to ask him to buy things that she wants?  Or was this a splurge and she felt bad for asking?  

Becky’s new hat

Watching all these jury videos with Gary he sure is no gentleman.  He burps, scratches, twitches, etc.  It is gross to watch.  I am sure he does plenty of farting off camera as well.  For the life of me I can’t figure out what attracted her to him. He must be the absolute polar octopus from her ex.

I think this will merge..

Amen Good Preaching! (Was the mocking post random or ??)

[Beermeet]

Ok folks, imma watchin' the most recent video.  Instead of selling joory and being excited towards their potential buyers getting a deal on some joory they are insisting viewers help them by sharing.  Over and over.   So off putting!  They just seem desperate.  They are bad at this and it's not the viewers problem they are failing.  Also, trying to sell the same 20 pieces day after day is no fun for anyine, except us snark watchers.  

Yours in mater gravy,

Sis. Beermeet

[JillyO]

I think I shall henceforth end all my posts with "Amen Good Preaching" so that all you heathens know that I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG!!

[pook]

I am also watching the joory video as we speak.  238 views and only 8 likes, lol.  I can't stop laughing and I am having trouble seeing the joory... bad lighting and bluriness abounds.  The silver *reef* is pretty enough for $5 yep $5, did you know the joory pieces are only $5 or $1?  Bro Gary can't calculate the tax, you just have to pay it, whatever the amount.

[Beermeet]

Ok folk,

Just finished watching all the videos.  Jesus Chris!  You can't even see the dang joory!  Why don't they experiment while not live?!  Maybe go outside for better lighting and scenery.  Adopt a " fake it til you make" attitude and stop being so desperate.  Show the joory on a person to show how it lays.   I'd say "OR, get a real job" but I'm convinced Bro. Ween cannot.  Look at him!  Besides nightwatch or digging at a graveyard, I just can't see him even getting past the initial interview phase.  His mannerisms are caveman like.   He's slothy and gross.  Fun to snark on tho.....

12 minutes ago, pook said:

I am also watching the joory video as we speak.  238 views and only 8 likes, lol.  I can't stop laughing and I am having trouble seeing the joory... bad lighting and bluriness abounds.  The silver *reef* is pretty enough for $5 yep $5, did you know the joory pieces are only $5 or $1?  Bro Gary can't calculate the tax, you just have to pay it, whatever the amount.

They are so bad at upselling this crap joory!  They make it sound cheap.  Try, "I saw a smiliar set at the mall for $50!  Pappyrusty lets y'all be able to afford not only 1 set, but 10 sets for the same amount!"  How is it possible to be this bad at selling?!!1!!11!!!!

[pook]

What does this meme even mean?

[Coconutwater]

1 minute ago, pook said:

What does this meme even mean?

I see it as you’re either on the side of God or you fall on the other side and you’ll go to hell. There is no in between in their world. 

[Beermeet]

10 minutes ago, pook said:

What does this meme even mean?

That's great news!  I only have to avoid the fence.  The world and god are a-ok!  

[pook]

I guess this is the reason my backyard fence is falling down, Satan owned and all.  You learn something new everyday because I thought Satan only lurked in a can of green beans.

[Dandruff]

29 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

Look at him!  Besides nightwatch or digging at a graveyard, I just can't see him even getting past the initial interview phase.

ITA.  He reminds me of Wile E. Coyote with his planning, execution, and subsequent failures.

[smittykins]

MEEP MEEP! 

[keepercjr]

Come on Becky!!

[EyesOpen]

I’m now considering if I need an internet break or full on therapy. I dreamt yes dreamt that... Bro gary ran for a local public office and we were all snarking on his campaign videos and print media. If needdd, I will be in a prayer closet googling local therapy services!

[Gobsmacked]

 Could a kind Sis post a video or two for Sis Dinosaur Gobsmacked who cannot get into Bro Gary's Facebook page etc. 

Thanks in advance .

Sis GS