Bro Gary Hawkins 5: Preaching From The Basement In Bed

[Alisamer]

23 hours ago, keepercjr said:

 It made me laugh when he said she was “stylin’ and profilin’”.  

I KNEW he was a pro wrestling fan. KNEW IT. And I think it has influenced his "preaching" style. He breaks out in the HAYMAYUNs the same way Ric Flair says WOOOOOOO randomly.

Gary, Becky. Cute hat. Please, if you are going to sell this jewelry, film your videos OUTSIDE. In the daytime. Or with a window beside or in front of you (not behind). Again, in the daytime. Lighting is everything, and you need more of it. God's given you a great big photography light to use up in the sky, and it's even better if it's bright but cloudy out. Take advantage of that!

Also, real jobs are good, mmmmkay?

[Snarkylark]

7 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I KNEW he was a pro wrestling fan. KNEW IT. And I think it has influenced his "preaching" style. He breaks out in the HAYMAYUNs the same way Ric Flair says WOOOOOOO randomly.

Gary, Becky. Cute hat. Please, if you are going to sell this jewelry, film your videos OUTSIDE. In the daytime. Or with a window beside or in front of you (not behind). Again, in the daytime. Lighting is everything, and you need more of it. God's given you a great big photography light to use up in the sky, and it's even better if it's bright but cloudy out. Take advantage of that!

Also, real jobs are good, mmmmkay?

I just wonder how Jodi (their upline or whatever) feels while watching their lives? 

[keepercjr]

Just now, Snarkylark said:

I just wonder how Jodi (their upline or whatever) feels while watching their lives? 

I wonder that too.  Becky mentioned that Jodi is her best friend (whatever that means to those people).  I see she tries to be supportive on their live videos but she has to be shaking her head.  Although l think that all that matters to her bottom line is that the ghaws keep buying their monthly quota.

[Coy Koi]

3 hours ago, keepercjr said:

I wonder that too.  Becky mentioned that Jodi is her best friend (whatever that means to those people).  I see she tries to be supportive on their live videos but she has to be shaking her head.  Although l think that all that matters to her bottom line is that the ghaws keep buying their monthly quota.

Yep, she knows these people, so she couldn't have expected this to go much better than it has. But as one of the minuscule number of people actually making a bit of money at MLM, she can't afford to care that she's encouraging her already-broke friends to lose money they don't have by joining under her. She made $15 from them ordering the intro package, and then a couple more percentage points from each inventory package they purchase before they eventually give up, so it's a win for her.

Incidentally, Becky hasn't said anything about Plexus for a long time now, I wonder if she's dropped that one. Clearly, $20 toothpaste and $5 jurry are the wave of the future. (lol what do they have against things in a reasonable price range, anyway? I'd much rather spend $5 on toothpaste and $20 on a piece of jewelry than vice versa!)

[mango_fandango]

Whenever I go onto Gary’s page, the same friends pop up. They all look similar to him: overweight, glasses, wife also has glasses. Many of them also seem to be bald, which Gary isn’t, but apart from that... it’s bizarre. 

[MayMay1123]

50 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Whenever I go onto Gary’s page, the same friends pop up. They all look similar to him: overweight, glasses, wife also has glasses. Many of them also seem to be bald, which Gary isn’t, but apart from that... it’s bizarre. 

it seems like a lot of his friends are pastors (the male ones, of course) and not very many females with their own pages- mostly hisfirstname herfirstname theirlastname type people. also: "the mocking people are dong." how have we not discussed this? are we the mocking people? has anyone else mocked ghaw? are all mockers dongs? are all dongs mockers?

sis may-who is so happy spring is actually here

[Black Aliss]

2 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

also: "the mocking people are dong." how have we not discussed this? are we the mocking people? has anyone else mocked ghaw? are all mockers dongs? are all dongs mockers?

sis may-who is so happy spring is actually here

I don't think we have ever mocked his dong. Or even noted how impressive it is that he can use it as a phone support when he does his videos from bed.

Is there still room in the prayer closet? If so, I'll be right there. I have a fresh bottle of artisanal gin. . .

Sis Black (9 lbs 11 oz, in case you forgot)

[Coy Koi]

2 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

it seems like a lot of his friends are pastors (the male ones, of course) and not very many females with their own pages- mostly hisfirstname herfirstname theirlastname type people. also: "the mocking people are dong." how have we not discussed this? are we the mocking people? has anyone else mocked ghaw? are all mockers dongs? are all dongs mockers?

sis may-who is so happy spring is actually here

Is it, I don't know, somehow weird if I hope we're the mockers in question? I just do. I want it to be us. We're not dongs though, Bro Gary. Odds are you could hold up pictures of any one of us at random plus you and poll a statistically significant number of people about which one was the dong, and it would be you by a landslide. (Yes, I realize it was a typo on his part, I'm just running with it for fun. If we don't have Bro Gary's typos, then WHAT DO WE HAVE?!)

Sis May, we have a real problem though. I'm NOT happy that spring has finally sprung! I hate it! Bring back my cold! I guess it's time to fire up Alistair Cairo, my air conditioner, again.

[MarblesMom]

3 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

I don't think we have ever mocked his dong. Or even noted how impressive it is that he can use it as a phone support when he does his videos from bed.

HAYMEN.  Wasn't his sizeable middle section doing the support?!

That's what I prefer to envision.... anyway.

[Black Aliss]

27 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

HAYMEN.  Wasn't his sizeable middle section doing the support?!

That's what I prefer to envision.... anyway.

You should definitely keep envisioning that.

[MarblesMom]

What the heck?  TODAY was the day?!  No one told me.

[Dandruff]

There is balance in the Universe.  There was Einstein, and there is Bro...who I'm guessing hasn't grasped the concept of time zones.

[FundamentallyShocked]

8 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

What the heck?  TODAY was the day?!  No one told me.

I can translate this one:

Okay, folks, I believe the guy that said Jesus is coming today has fooled a lot of people. Unless Jesus comes in the next 26 minutes (in Bro. Gary's timezone), Jesus will not be coming today. The Bible teaches us that no one knows the day nor the hour of Jesus' return (it really does say that). So, let's read God's Word (the Bible) and believe it. We should the kind of person that does what he or she reads in the Bible. And we should let God comes when he chooses. I know God is coming whether we are ready or not for him to come.

Sis Fundamentally Shocked (6 lb, 12 oz)

[MayMay1123]

8 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

What the heck?  TODAY was the day?!  No one told me.

sounds like when we played hide and seek when i was a child..."ready or not, here i come!" even with @FundamentallyShocked's ween to english interpretation, i'm still not sure about how to be doer's of and and

sis may, who is f-ing cold again, dammit

[Dandruff]

Jesus today may come not bibel say WATE.  Pray come dont know man say know wen FOOL.  Joory sale help spred WORD a dollar few.

[Candydandy]

Ok folks good to know if Jesus isn't here in 26 mins he's not coming at all. Does Bro have the itinerary for the second coming? 

Also I feel severely defauded that someone hinted that a body part other than a substantial tummy is holding up the phone in the videos. I've never made a trip to the prayer closet- is there room?

Sis Candy

 

[mango_fandango]

It was posted 14 hours ago now. Nope, no bearded dude in robes here either. 

I think Gary is saying that we have to live as though Jesus may come at any time. Don’t put off getting saved, thinking “yeah well Jesus isn’t going to come for ages” because what if he shows up that second?

HOLD UP DID I JUST UNDERSTAND BRO G HAW?

(I know some of you others have interpreted similarly)

 

[zeebaneighba]

Jesus may not have shown up at G-Haws. but he apparently showed up somewhere:

Christ Cometh to My House and Eats All of My Food

 

[Dandruff]

4 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I think Gary is saying that we have to live as though Jesus may come at any time.

As in who needs a real job when Jesus may come any time?  Good thing everyone else hasn't figured that one out yet.

[Granwych]

On ‎4‎/‎20‎/‎2018 at 10:44 AM, Gimme a Free RV said:

I think the small cowboy hat he wears has cut off circulation to his head.

Not that there was much to start with...

5 hours ago, Candydandy said:

I've never made a trip to the prayer closet- is there room?

Like the Jello commercial--there's always room! 

23 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

I don't think we have ever mocked his dong. Or even noted how impressive it is that he can use it as a phone support when he does his videos from bed.

Sweet, sweet Jesus---I never ever want to imagine what Bro's dong looks like.  Ever.

(Although needle dong is probably more like it.)

[Carol]

Best End Of World, ever!

[zeebaneighba]

6 hours ago, Dandruff said:

As in who needs a real job when Jesus may come any time?  Good thing everyone else hasn't figured that one out yet.

OK, I am really tired and DD1 has been texting me about some suggestive produce she got in her fruit-and-veg box this week and I read that as  

"As in who needs a BLOW job when Jesus may come any time?"

-Sis Zeeba, taking myself off to the prayer closet.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

On 4/21/2018 at 9:15 PM, Nikedagain? said:

Need advice!

I am seriously considering driving the hour and a half to Candor in the morning to attend GHaw and fam's service. I really, really want to see this in person.

Okay sis. So, what did you decide? (I don't think I'm ready to expose my kids to the wackiness that we discuss here until they're sarcastic teenagers or older, but I appreciate that everyone's situation is different.) I'm just super curious what you did.  If you saw Bro Ghaw, please dish!

Sis WWJCD who forgot to spell rite fer this here thread 

[Nikedagain?]

1 hour ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Okay sis. So, what did you decide? (I don't think I'm ready to expose my kids to the wackiness that we discuss here until they're sarcastic teenagers or older, but I appreciate that everyone's situation is different.) I'm just super curious what you did.  If you saw Bro Ghaw, please dish!

Sis WWJCD who forgot to spell rite fer this here thread 

Alas! I did not go! Of course I would have reported right away. She woke up Sunday in a very bad mood and I just couldn't shake the feeling that they would've really noticed her.  I'm keeping an eye out for the right time to do a stealthy observation!

[Lillymuffin]

On 4/24/2018 at 7:13 PM, Granwych said:

Sweet, sweet Jesus---I never ever want to imagine what Bro's dong looks like.  Ever.

(Although needle dong is probably more like it.)

Nah—cocktail ween(ie), of course. I mean, what else could it possibly be?  (I’ll see myself out now.)

 

Sis Lilly, who’s hoping that looks enough like a dancing red ween in ME!