Bro Gary Hawkins 5: Preaching From The Basement In Bed

[Beermeet]

6 hours ago, Godless Slūt said:

Oh my Rufus! I am almost completely caught up on GHaw. As I was reading I had a memory pop-up from the vast recesses of my childhood (most of which has been buried under concrete in a quadruple locked thought box) and it was HORRIFYING! 

See my grandfather married a truly lovely lady when I was about 10. She was smart, well-traveled, child-less, citified and I think she went a bit crazy adjusting to small town life in Montana. To fill her time she decided to learn to cook. This was in the mid70s when the height of gourmet food was a good jell-o mold! And cooking was not her forté. My cousins and I weren’t able to eat her Mac ‘n’ cheese and it came from a box. 

So one night during a big family gathering, Easter? Maybe, she debuts her brand new, bestest ever, gourmet dish. It was a hell-o mold. It was a bundt cake mold of tomato jell-o (not aspic!) with weens sliced up in it and corn, green beans & something else also mixed in. Then the whole thing was surrounded by cold hamburger in a dry sloppy joe sauce. My Uncle blurted out “Jeesus fucking kerist” and that’s the blessed end of my memory! 

I’d like to add a picture but I want to eat this week...

ETA And to think I probably wouldn’t have ever had that memory return if it weren’t for Bro Gary’s pink weens in ME! He is truly the gift that keeps giving... nausea. 

Ok sis Gslut.....I just guffawed very out loud with my husband next to me!  When presenting a meal (? idk what to call that!) the worst/ funniest thing that could be said was what your uncle said!  Comedy!

Also, Sis. Becky seems worried, unsure.  Freaks me out.  Gary definitly has some tics.  The nose wiping was classy as shit while trying to sell women's "jewelry ".  All this made me picture him at any legit job and yeah, no.  He is just not employable,  at all!

[Beermeet]

I'm watching it again because I fast forwarded too much and missed some comments.....um, ew.  That black form was not super filthy last time, like 2 weeks ago, as it is now.  C'mon Ween fam!  Really?  You're showing the poopyscratchy joory on that?  Good lord of the KJB.  Zero pride, I'll give them that. : /

[MayMay1123]

did she really say that the jury wouldn't tarnish as long as it doesn't get wet...and that's any jury??? i have three rings that never come off, nope, no tarnish there oh, maybe because they're actual gold...and not yeller kellered

sis may-who is sincerely worried about the fact that it is 28* wind chill here, in the middle of april

[DaisyD]

As long as you don't wash off the clear coat, the nickel won't leach into your skin.  Meanwhile, all silver will tarnish if not washed regularly (there are some coatings that help with that, but...)

[MarblesMom]

OK, this has to be shared, from his FB this morning: "Ear tickling want do it it takes Preaching. And no Preaching was never popular."

I don't want ANY part of any tickling anywhere from that man....

[Yogi]

They really do need to get themselves together, video wise. For the first few minutes of the last video they had a lamp shining right into the camera. Becky holds the jewelry too close to the camera when she’s showing it - it’s blurry and you can’t see it. 

They need to watch their videos back and learn from themselves. 

[griffin]

I also love the way she thinks she is modeling the earrings while they are still attached to the cardboard. You would think PoopyPotsy would provide them with descriptions to use. Instead of saying "this is a shorter necklace", she should be able to give the length: 14 inch, 16 inch etc. I am RIVETED to these videos. 

[MayMay1123]

2 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

OK, this has to be shared, from his FB this morning: "Ear tickling want do it it takes Preaching. And no Preaching was never popular."

I don't want ANY part of any tickling anywhere from that man....

what? who's got the weens to english dictionary? i have no damn clue wth he's even trying to write here. and i loved to hear my (now retired) pastor preach, he has a gift to make you feel like he's talking directly to only you about your life. maybe its just bro haw's preaching that was never popular. get a JOB, gary

sis may, who actually likes *good* preaching

[Jellybean]

I don’t know who has the dictionary at the moment, but I’m pretty sure @Coy Koi wrote the book. Please help us translate this sloppy mess!

As CK isn’t here I’ll try it, but my Weenese (like the gloopy weens themselves) leaves a lot to be desired. 

4 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

OK, this has to be shared, from his FB this morning: "Ear tickling want do it it takes Preaching. And no Preaching was never popular."

Telling people what they want to hear is not going to save them from the fiery pit of hell; only preaching can do that. People don’t like to hear truth being preached  because it makes them uncomfortable...

 

 

[UnFunderful]

21 hours ago, keepercjr said:

Those are Gary’s parents and all their grands minus Gary’s 2 boys.  It says the photo was from the 8th and that is when ghaw and Becky were at that tent revival thing.  The older boy and the 2 little girls on the left Belong to Gary’s sister and the rest belong to Gary’s brother.  I am guessing Michaela is staying with her grandparents.  Although Gary said in the video that he is staying in his daddy’s camper while they wait to get theirs fixed so maybe they are all on the same property now but I hope Michaela is in the house.

Poor Michaela looks so young.  I think she is over 18 but she looks like she is barely 12.

they posted 25 pictures of leftover joolry.  Not a good sale at all!  They have to purchase all that and just cross their fingers that it sells.  I am guessing they haven’t actually made a single cent yet.  According to the comments they sold 7 pieces (though someone bought 3 of the $1 rings so I counted that as one piece).  At 77% profit they made about $26.  Not even close to what the jewelry pack cost them assuming they bought the $99 pack of 35 pieces.

I don't know if anyone has already replied but I had to jump ahead.

This image is so wrong it is causing me physical pain.  That is NOT how you calculate profit margins.  

In this first example you need to take the $76 "profit" and divide it by your total revenue, $175, NOT the cost of inventory.  That gives you an actual gross profit of 43.4%.  

That also assumes that you sell every single one of your pieces, and I am sure that better salespeople than Bro Gary and Sis Becky still end up with a certain number of duds in every order that just collect dust.  Plus that they are covering the cost of shipping to their customers, otherwise anything extra they spend on postage is a cost.  And do they have to pay shipping to get the jewelry themselves?  And then anything else they are spending like displays and their "drawrings".   

Net profit will be much less.  And certainly not over 100%.  It makes me ragey that this is how people get sucked in.  

Source: I'm a degreed business professional. 

[Godless Slūt]

@Alisamer I’ve always loved North Carolina; it does seem like it has it all! I love visiting and I even thought about moving there. I just couldn’t do it though, solely because of the regressive policies, the blatant bigotry etc and I live in MISSISSIPPI! Hahahaha. (I couldn’t justify a lateral move)

[keepercjr]

1 hour ago, UnFunderful said:

I don't know if anyone has already replied but I had to jump ahead.

This image is so wrong it is causing me physical pain.  That is NOT how you calculate profit margins.  

In this first example you need to take the $76 "profit" and divide it by your total revenue, $175, NOT the cost of inventory.  That gives you an actual gross profit of 43.4%.  

That also assumes that you sell every single one of your pieces, and I am sure that better salespeople than Bro Gary and Sis Becky still end up with a certain number of duds in every order that just collect dust.  Plus that they are covering the cost of shipping to their customers, otherwise anything extra they spend on postage is a cost.  And do they have to pay shipping to get the jewelry themselves?  And then anything else they are spending like displays and their "drawrings".   

Net profit will be much less.  And certainly not over 100%.  It makes me ragey that this is how people get sucked in.  

Source: I'm a degreed business professional. 

You are absolutely right.  I am quite ill and wasnt thinking too clearly when I was making those calculations off of their their propaganda.  Don’t tell my math teacher mom haha.  Either way they haven’t even cleared what it cost them to buy it.  I don’t think they sold anything in their 2nd show last night.  They are going to be stuck with all this junk.

[bertnee]

I don't understand, they pay Pootytotsy $99 for some juwry, then customers buy it and Ghaw ends up with $76 of the $99? But they've paid $99 so they are actually out $23? I don't get it?

[Beermeet]

On 4/16/2018 at 6:10 AM, Coy Koi said:

Really? Then what does this say?

I just can't stop laughing at this!  It infiltrates my day.  Can this be made a permanent banner for Bro. Gary threads?  @Curious  Please ( yes, I'm flirting with you, Bambi lashes and all.)  If y'all agree, of course. #dead

[Beermeet]

Ain't it just the sweetest moment of friendship brought to you by MLMs?!  One MLM per comment section and if you don't share you will be damned.  Don't be a 8==Dick people!

 

[Gimme a Free RV]

23 hours ago, Yogi said:

They really do need to get themselves together, video wise. For the first few minutes of the last video they had a lamp shining right into the camera. Becky holds the jewelry too close to the camera when she’s showing it - it’s blurry and you can’t see it. 

They need to watch their videos back and learn from themselves. 

I got a special blessing getting to know their ceiling.  GHaw's hat is too much.  No, actually, his head is too much for that hat.  That man just really loves to hear himself talk, doesn't he?

[Alisamer]

I think they need to re-read, over and over, the last line of their Facebook post there. "Take and Take won't work!"

No, no it won't. You have to give - some effort. That means WORK, Gary! Give some effort to a real job and TAKE home a paycheck. And by real job I don't mean hawking cheap trinkets to people who have not yet discovered Wish.com. I think Nurie Rodrigues works harder at her Etsy shop than these people. At least she actually puts together the stuff she sells! 

[LovelyLuna]

Dear Ge Haw

Please use some masking tape on your neck form before you go live  It will get rid of all the nasty ass hair and dust before we see it

Sis Luna who’s comma and period keys just stopped working  Hello run on sentences 

[Alisamer]

19 minutes ago, LovelyLuna said:

Sis Luna who’s comma and period keys just stopped working  Hello run on sentences 

I have had something similar happen on my iPad repeatedly, but only on this site. The period and comma keys work OK, but I can't get to any other symbols like apostrophes that are not on the first keyboard!

[Candydandy]

Well folks watching that there Pappytratzzi sales extravaganza video felt like Bro was scolding us all. Are you sharing?!?! Better be sharing our video! Yikes! Glad I didnt watch it live. MLM math must be like: well see here you buy these then you sell em but you first hafta pay back what ya bought then buy s'more and maybe make a profit? Anyhoo between preachin,Haymuhin,Singin and makin pappytratzzi videos does Bro have time for anything else? Like how to showcase cheep jewerry so itappeals to the masses?? 

Sis Candy

anxiously awaiting spring cause Im tired of being cold!!

[Dandruff]

I could see Bro doing manual labor such as ditch digging, landscaping, or lawn mowing.  Relatively low-risk (compared to food preparation, anyway), and at some distance from co-workers who might prefer to not hear about Jesus in Ween all day.

[Godless Slūt]

@Dandruff having done all of those things in the south in the summer I’d have to add the qualifier that he start in a mild climate and get used to activity more strenuous than bellowing from a recliner, eating weens and preechin da troof of the KJB! Seriously, even a riding lawnmower in high heat & humidity is physically taxing and can lead to heat exhaustion. 

I think you’re on to something though! 

Trying to add to your list:

-truck driver long or short haul (he’s proficient at driving distances and driving RVs already)

-radio station side-kick for shows that like to have people with different opinions & accents commenting. (Can be called in from anywhere along his preaching circuit)

-property caretaker during the off-season. Maybe not a lot of money but usually room & board in a nice place and some money.

wow that’s all I’ve got. Going to have to think more about this.

[Carol]

14 hours ago, Beermeet said:

 

 

There is no way on god's green earth that either Gary or Becky came up with this.  It's far too literate.  10-1 their upline found it and forwarded it to them to post.

[Gimme a Free RV]

2 hours ago, LovelyLuna said:

Sis Luna who’s comma and period keys just stopped working  Hello run on sentences 

My period stopped working after my hysterectomy years ago.  HALLELUYER!  HAYMAYUN!

[Alisamer]

15 minutes ago, Godless Slūt said:

@Dandruff having done all of those things in the south in the summer I’d have to add the qualifier that he start in a mild climate and get used to activity more strenuous than bellowing from a recliner, eating weens and preechin da troof of the KJB! Seriously, even a riding lawnmower in high heat & humidity is physically taxing and can lead to heat exhaustion. 

I think you’re on to something though! 

Trying to add to your list:

-truck driver long or short haul (he’s proficient at driving distances and driving RVs already)

-radio station side-kick for shows that like to have people with different opinions & accents commenting. (Can be called in from anywhere along his preaching circuit)

-property caretaker during the off-season. Maybe not a lot of money but usually room & board in a nice place and some money.

wow that’s all I’ve got. Going to have to think more about this.

I like those ideas! Although I worry about the property caretaker one... I've read The Shining.

Maybe pro wrestling manager? Like Brother Love back in the day?