Bates 23: Waiting on the Next Wedding

[just_ordinary]

23 hours ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

Not my cup of tea, but I don’t think their way is necessarily indicative of immaturity or frivolity. There are plenty of people of all ages who would enjoy an over-the-top proposal. 

Absolutely right. I probably didn’t express myself right. What I wanted to say was

- I don’t like this kind of proposals.

- If you do want it that way it has nothing to do with age or maturity. 

As @Coconut Flan said, it makes a good tv episode. I wonder if they even would have the chance to say they want a more intimate setting? It would be interesting to know how the couples that got engaged outside the show handled it. 

There is also a big trend to make those occasions bigger and more public in recent years. So they aren’t special in this regard. It’s not Bates’ or Fundie specific. It is an interesting phenomenon though. Is it because people want to make it more important, is it because of Social Media (what you see and what you want to show), is there pressure to keep up with peers, it it because society has changed?

Hopefully one day a sociologist, a psychiatrist and a philosopher will write a well researched (non judgmental) paper/book on that topic. Those would be three point of views I am very interested in. 

[VelociRapture]

9 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Absolutely right. I probably didn’t express myself right. What I wanted to say was

- I don’t like this kind of proposals.

- If you do want it that way it has nothing to do with age or maturity. 

As @Coconut Flan said, it makes a good tv episode. I wonder if they even would have the chance to say they want a more intimate setting? It would be interesting to know how the couples that got engaged outside the show handled it. 

There is also a big trend to make those occasions bigger and more public in recent years. So they aren’t special in this regard. It’s not Bates’ or Fundie specific. It is an interesting phenomenon though. Is it because people want to make it more important, is it because of Social Media (what you see and what you want to show), is there pressure to keep up with peers, it it because society has changed?

Hopefully one day a sociologist, a psychiatrist and a philosopher will write a well researched (non judgmental) paper/book on that topic. Those would be three point of views I am very interested in. 

The engagement stories are all on the family blog:

- Zach took Whit on a surprise (chaperoned) trip to Florida and proposed on a beach.

http://www.batesfamilyblog.com/2016/12/zach-bates-florida-proposal.html?m=1

- John proposed to Alyssa during a date at Disney - a beach at the resort before dinner at Ruth Chris Steakhouse. He arranged for a photographer to take photos and some family members were present too. 

https://thebatesfamily.com/2014/01/john-alyssa-get-engaged/

- Chad proposed to Erin after a date with canoeing and a horse and buggy ride at a resort in Tennessee. He played a song on his guitar after she said yes. 

https://thebatesfamily.com/2013/08/erins-engagementpart-2/

ETA: The link for Zachney is actually to that fan blog, not the family blog. Their engagement story is on the Bates family blog, but I’m too tired and lazy to find it right now.

[HereticHick]

19 hours ago, TeaELSee said:

  I’m pretty sure Kelton doesn’t want to wait too long to have sex.

 

Do you know Kelton? If not, would  you like to tell us you are "pretty sure" about his views on sex? Also, why do you have such great insight on his views, and not on Josie's?

[Seculardaisy]

Can we talk about the talking head of Kelly saying “this is a beautiful and perfect moment for Bobby to pop the question” spliced over him looking at the ring in front of MASSIVE graffiti that says “siko” (sicko.) It was hysterical and I wish I could screen grab it for you all but I watched this on my phone and iTunes blocks screen shots. This is why graffiti makes a terrible back drop for photos and potential engagements.

 

Also, I cannot think of anything worse than watching a sports special with no actual athletes. C’mon BUB the shed cleaning episode idea was better than this.

 

[TeaELSee]

2 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Do you know Kelton? If not, would  you like to tell us you are "pretty sure" about his views on sex? Also, why do you have such great insight on his views, and not on Josie's?

Of course I don’t know Kelton. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb to assume a 22-23 year old man would like to have sex.

 

i apologize if I offended you.

edited to add: I hope I’m wrong and Josie waits until she is older.

 

 

[BullyJBG]

I'm hoping for a double proposal where each girl is told that they're chaperoning for the other couple to get engaged. Hehehehe.

 Okay, I imagine that being a TV family means that a private proposal isn't an option? Believe me, I NEVER wanted a public proposal. When hubby and I were dating, we went to a game where a guy proposed to his girlfriend on the score board, and he said "that could be us" and I said please not like that. And, as an extra I added that he doesn't have to get on his knees; my answer doesn't depend on that. Pretty much quoting those verses in the Bible about "let your yes be yes and your no be no"

  There's my rabbit trail. But we'll see what happens.

[HereticHick]

Crown College's Valentines Banquet was this weekend. They have a video up on Facebook, and in previous years they posted a big Instagram album too. It would be interesting if any Bateseses attended. The pictures are always a grand parade of perfectly acceptable formal dresses fundied-up with shrugs, sweaters, etc.

[JillyO]

3 hours ago, TeaELSee said:

Of course I don’t know Kelton. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb to assume a 22-23 year old man would like to have sex.

Women have sex drives too, or so I hear. Of course that's an incredibly stupid reason to get married, but I don't see why Kelton should want to have sex more that Josie. And now I'll bow out, since I honestly find it kind of squicky to talk about this.

[TeaELSee]

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

Women have sex drives too, or so I hear. Of course that's an incredibly stupid reason to get married, but I don't see why Kelton should want to have sex more that Josie. And now I'll bow out, since I honestly find it kind of squicky to talk about this.

I am well aware that women have sex drives, I am one! Josie specifically said she was too young therefore not ready to be married, which equals having sex in their lives.

I’m honestly surprised That my post seems controversial. In their world does it matter what Josie wants? If Kelton wants to be married within a year can she say no? It is such a patriarchal culture, his feelings matter more than hers. 

Why is sex squicky? The entire courtship and engagement revolves around god and avoiding sex. It is a big part of their lives. They talk about physical contact more than people who actually have physical contact.

[HereticHick]

2 hours ago, TeaELSee said:

 

Why is sex squicky? The entire courtship and engagement revolves around god and avoiding sex. It is a big part of their lives. They talk about physical contact more than people who actually have physical contact.

FJ has guidelines about discussing the sexual practices and orientations of fundies still living under their parent's roof.

 

In other news, I took one for the team and went thru the Crown College Valentine's Day Banquet photo album at the school's Facebook page.

I didn't see any Bateses, but their friend Devonna attended with a date. There were several mixed race couples, and one chick wore a wacky-ass fascinator, and I salute her for it.

[Seculardaisy]

Okay I used my husbands phone to take photos because I found this moment hysterical.

Kelly Jo says “this was just the most perfect, beautiful setting for an engagement”:

Spoiler

Bobby contemplates giving Tori the ring:

Spoiler

Graffiti revealed to say “siko” (sicko)

Spoiler

 

[TeaELSee]

3 hours ago, HereticHick said:

FJ has guidelines about discussing the sexual practices and orientations of fundies still living under their parent's roof.

 

In other news, I took one for the team and went thru the Crown College Valentine's Day Banquet photo album at the school's Facebook page.

I didn't see any Bateses, but their friend Devonna attended with a date. There were several mixed race couples, and one chick wore a wacky-ass fascinator, and I salute her for it.

I’m not trolling, I’m genuinely asking If my comment was out of bounds. I am assuming they will have sex AFTER they get married, hence the reason to expedite their plans.  I made that crystal clear in my posts.

I took a long break from posting here and I’m not trying to anger anyone.

Is this against the TOS? 

[JMO]

I've only seen the first half or so.  What's the deal with Gil and Kelly making such a big deal about letting their GROWN kids go on a triple date without an additional chaperone?  WTF.  Going on and on about how they trust them since their hearts in the right place and that besides they can serve as a chaperone to each other.  Umm, not to be glaringly obvious but there is also a camera crew and then Taryn showed up to take blurry pics of grafitti.  I'm pretty sure they won't start dry humping in the middle of the Mexican restaurant with the sound guy trying to keep the boom out of the shot.  Shut up you two, just zip it. 

[QuiverDance]

Hugging is definitely a thing here, and I’m not a big touchy type, so it makes me uncomfortable! I just deal with it, but I HATE IT. Lol.

[JMO]

So, building off of both the triple date episode and the discussion on the Lawson thread.  What do you think a Lawson courtship would bring?  The Zachney courtship was off camera and an early courtship so we can't judge by that.  Nathan's courtship fizzled out.  Between the fact that Lawson is Lawson and he'd be the 8th Bates kid to marry if he did find someone soon, how would it progress?  I see him doing very showy self aggrandizing romantic gestures.  "Look at me, singing a very special romantic song to my #1 lady!  Buy it on itunes!"  Or, "Look at me, buying my lady a dozen red roses for our 2nd date!"  Or, "Look at Me! I mean us!  Aren't we just so gorgeous and in love in this picture?!"  His fundie maiden is definitely going to be attractive and well dressed since he wants some arm candy.  I can't tell if she's going to be meek and modest enough to put up with his shit and think he's fabulous and she's sooooo lucky he chose her, or whether she's going to be just as bad as him and the two of them will try and out IG the other.  I also see him trying to push boundaries on the courtship standards previous couples made.  Not too crazy, but I wouldn't be surprised. 

[ophelia]

I always imagine Lawson with someone like Carlin. It is going to be annoying as fuck, but deliver us tons of snark.

[nausicaa]

2 hours ago, ophelia said:

I always imagine Lawson with someone like Carlin. It is going to be annoying as fuck, but deliver us tons of snark.

I picture him with someone like Josie -- quiet and adoring. He isn't going to share the spotlight. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

On 2/11/2018 at 8:29 PM, HereticHick said:

In other news, I took one for the team and went thru the Crown College Valentine's Day Banquet photo album at the school's Facebook page.

"Took one for the team"? No need, I live for that shit! Thanks for the heads up that this year's is online.

I think the clothes have gotten better in the last few years as long-sleeved formal dresses have gotten trendy. But their photographer still manages to make every single person look like a misshapen wax statue.

[JillyO]

On 11.2.2018 at 6:29 PM, HereticHick said:

In other news, I took one for the team and went thru the Crown College Valentine's Day Banquet photo album at the school's Facebook page.

I didn't see any Bateses, but their friend Devonna attended with a date. There were several mixed race couples, and one chick wore a wacky-ass fascinator, and I salute her for it.

I love that Devonna wore her bridesmaid's dress from Tori's wedding. Good for her for getting some use out of it, and it's a pretty dress. Definitely one of the only ones that didn't make me cringe due to forced dress modestification!

ETA: Also, all these photos are suuuper awkward. I am assuming the couples aren't allowed to touch in the pictures, and so none of them know what to do with their hands and just stand awkwardly side-by-side but not touching. I can only recommend you guys check out the whole album. It's a hoot!

[JMO]

OMG, in addition to the endless shrugs there are a couple that clearly have not just a modesty panel but a full shirt under their dress.  Wow.  Just Wow. I especially like the dress with a key hole in which you can see a non-matching shirt underneath.  

[HereticHick]

Girl, you are too cool for Crown College:

 

 

[formergothardite]

The photographer does such a bad job of taking pictures. 

[nausicaa]

So, I headed over to the Crown College Facebook page to check out the Valentine's Day banquet photos, and happened to see this recent review. I wanted to post here in case it gets deleted. Interesting...

Spoiler

Attended & Graduated Crown from 2000-2008 (Bachelor's & Master's Degrees)

The Good: Learned Bible Doctrines, Greek, and a few other courses from, arguably, one of the best Bible teachers they have ever had (Keith Kiser), before his death. God put me and my wife (of 14 yrs) together here. Matured greatly, as a person during my time in Knoxville, in general.

The Bad: Had many, many classes taught by unqualified teachers. Some, including the pastor, did not even show up for their classes a good part of the time. Others, you could tell, did not know what they were doing, and so became a waste of time. The college/church is too large to really disciple or mentor anyone. Because of this, my spiritual life struggled, while at the college. I came as a spiritually immature believer, and left there as one. The pastor has no/very little time to speak to the students, and the business of the church is by-in-large hidden/kept from the students that are trying to learn how to lead a church one day. In eight years of going to Temple Baptist, I had ZERO meaningful conversations with Dr. Sexton (and not for lack of trying).

The Ugly: Cover-ups of why students were kicked out of school existed without comment or explanation. Cover-ups of disciplined church members existed without comment or explanation. Sadly, double standards abound. Humility is taught, but not exhibited by the church leadership. There is a definite spirit of arrogance about them. Do not ever question what they do, and expect a kind answer. Faith is taught, but not exhibited by the church leadership. They are constantly appealing for funds, and are tens of thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of dollars in debt. They preach some separation from the world, but are highly political, and have even had unsaved speakers at their various conferences, for the purpose of attractingpeople, without apology.

Conclusion: Crown was a probably a very good school, in its early years, but, since then, it has definitely become too big for its britches. While I know that God allowed me to go to Crown (maybe for the sole purpose of meeting my wife), and I learned a few good things there, the double standards and poor practices are not worth your time and money. I have spent the past ten years working to unlearn much of what I learned there, by careful study & application of the Word of God, and am better off for it.

 

[PumaLover]

Many of those were cringeworthy! The arms down at the sides were just super awkward. There were some really pretty dresses though. Too bad they have to be ruined with modesty standards.

I thought this girl looked a lot like Erin.

[ophelia]

13 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Girl, you are too cool for Crown College:

 

 

She is gorgeous!!!! I'm not a fan of the necklace, bur her hat, her glasses, her smile - LOVE it!