Maxwell 17: Life After John Left

[BullyJBG]

7 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Do we think that the Maxwells will stop by the Duggar compound en route to Ft Smith, Ark for their Energize!!!!!! conference? And wouldn't they get better conference attendance if they had roped in a Duggar as a special guest?

I thought of that too. Which Duggar would do it, though? If it were Jana or John-David, or even both, I could see people thinking things about an inter-marriage and that'd just distract off the REAL reason they're doing this conference.

[MamaJunebug]

4 hours ago, fellowunfundie said:

Hmm, so I guess they are completely denying that there is a Nathan/Melanie wedding post on the blog now? I thought it was interesting that they re-directed us, but now they are acting like it’s completely non-existent. Think they’re embarrassed?

I’ve wanted to use this forever: 

[kpmom]

4 hours ago, fellowunfundie said:

Hmm, so I guess they are completely denying that there is a Nathan/Melanie wedding post on the blog now? I thought it was interesting that they re-directed us, but now they are acting like it’s completely non-existent. Think they’re embarrassed?

Sarah is actually being truthful.  Melanie and Nathan were engaged in 2001 and married in 2002, and the blog wasn't started until 2006.

I believe they were still running their forum (and sending out Corners) so I guess Teri wrote the engagement and marriage reports and put them on the site for their forum members.  They were much more forthcoming back in those days.

The reports aren't on the current site (so, Sarah was telling the truth), but are easily found through Google.

[daisyjane1234]

I am often quite surprised by the idea that kids move out at 18.  No one in our world has kids who do that, and most of my friends would feel that 18 is too young to be completely independent.  Away at school, sure.  But independent.  NO way.  I call them the yo-yo years.  Kids come and go.

My kids are 17, 19, and 21.  To be sure they all head out around 17 to attend university.  To me that isn't moving out.  Their primary residence is home, they just spend 8 months of the year studying elsewhere. It's different.  My eldest will return home after his final year of undergrad this summer and he plans to remain at home for the next year, work, and save money for graduate school of some kind - he's hoping law school.  That makes perfect sense to me.  We'll be glad to have  him at home, but unlike the Maxwell's he will be treated as an adult.  He'll come and go as he pleases, but will keep us in the loop so we don't worry - particularly if he's away overnight.  He'll help with household chores and he'll hold the fort down if my husband and I go away for a few days.  We won't charge him rent because his plan is to save all his earnings for school.  He's also  talking about saving to do some traveling.  Something we support.  Because unlike the Maxwell's we want our kids to experience the world, understand different cultures/values and so on.  

We have boys so our general expectation is that they will likely remain at home (or coming and going based on school/work/travel) until mid-20s.  That seems par for the course these days and we're all good with it.  

 

[formergothardite]

4 hours ago, fellowunfundie said:

I thought it was interesting that they re-directed us, but now they are acting like it’s completely non-existent. Think they’re embarrassed?

I'm trying to think about Steve's(and you know Steve answered this) mind twisted around to convince himself he wasn't lying. He never said there wasn't a blog post, just that they got married before the blog started. 

Steve would have been in a pickle if this had been a long time reader who remembered the wedding blog post and asked where to find it, but I suspect that in that case Steven would have just refused to answer. The wording of this comment gave him an easy out. I wonder how many long time readers(besides us) they actually have since Steve tends to be rude when replying. 

The snark on the wedding must really get under his skin since he has erased it and is now going to pretend it never happened. We remember it Steve, even if many of your readers don't. 

[MamaJunebug]

8 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

There are more recent photos of Tami (2014) here, at Grandpa Rex's funeral. She looks more like Teri here, but also nothing like her. Almost like a hippie, even.

http://memorycatcherbykmc.blogspot.com.au/2014/06/promoted-to-glory-rex-frazer-1931-2-14.html

It's also noticeable a. how much younger Teri looks even 3 years ago (is she wearing makeup?) and b. Gigi seems like an awesome lady. Probably because she is an actual Christian, instead of what passes for it in Maxwelland.

FYI the photographer is Kristina Cowan, whose sisters and parents helped set up the rehearsal dinner with the Maxwell girls. The Maxwell friend circle really is that small. 

@Captain Obvious, thank you for the photo reminder. So... you know the family — can you tell me, is photojournalistic coverage of burials a thing in this social set?

Because now as then, those photos gave me two thoughts:

a) I would never want photos of myself and my bereaved parent/family in mourning at a grave site! That’s a memory held profoundly in the heart. Who needs photos?

and

b ) — and I know all people react differently and I deserve the impassioned comments this will prompt— the family all look SO GRIEF STRICKEN at the passing of an elderly man who believed in Jesus (so they know his soul is in Heaven);, who had a full life; who had been suffering... from the family’s faces, you would suppose someone had passed young, or suddenly, or without the Hope Of The Resurrection.  Ofchristopher looks overcome; the Maxsibs standing under the tent seem about to collapse. Uncle Tami ...looks physically uncomfortable   

Gigi is holding it together like a woman widowed after decades upon decades of a loving marriage. Tami - the daughter to put her comforting  arm around her mother - looks like a lady who has lost her dad.  Stevovah and Terifying look like they’re ready to jump in the grave themselves. I guess it’s my stoic heritage ... or maybe, HEY! Here’s a thought!— I’ve never had photos taken of myself and my surviving loved ones as we sat graveside!!! 

Maybe we all looked WORSE—but I’ll never know. Because I will  never hire anybody to shoot us like we’re celebrities, regularly featured in People and InTouch!!!!

PS: me on the Hair, again: Tami’s Hair becomes her, gathered back off her face in a half-ponytail. Terifying’s....same as depressingly  always. 

[theologygeek]

21 hours ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

Hugs, @theologygeek My daughter and I are SO close. I want her to go do all the amazing things and also wish she could just stay with me forever lol. Not really-really, but I think you know what I mean.  She now has a job working two full days a week and I miss her like crazy. Growing up is hard to do, and not just for them. 

I know exactly what you mean.  You tell them to follow their dreams and spread their wings and fly.  Then when they fly, you wish they would fly right back home. 

18 hours ago, HurricaneBells said:

Are you my mum? LOL I look at all the girls with their mums and sigh. I am positive my mother does the same thing (we live 12 hours away from each other). Thank god for technology, 100 years ago you may never have seen the child again once they left. It is hard and painful though at times, i dont know it ever goes away. Alright thats enough gonna start tearing up now. Stay strong Mama!

Back in the day, our parents had to call the phone in the dorm hallway to speak to us.  And my sister spent her junior year of college abroad.  I don't know how my mother did it. 

[theologygeek]

16 hours ago, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

It’s funny that these days people expect adult children to stay at home for much longer. In Australia at least the average age to move out is around mid 20s. A bit earlier for women and later for men.

My brother and husband were both 28 when they left home after a decade studying (both lawyers) 

My sister and I were both 22. Both just finished university. 

We are building a house and assuming in the design that our two (baby and toddler now!) will be living with us until mid to late 20s. So ensuites and large bedrooms with a private lounge/study for them. 

I watched Gloriavale and saw how the families all live in the same compound once marrying and was glad my mum hadn’t seen that when we were kids or she would have joined the cult! She’s struggling that we are all overseas or interstate and would love us next door. Dad doesn’t mind though

I don’t think it’s unnnatural to want your adult children close by but I think it’s cruel to force them into staying close by. Like Steve Maxwell has. 

Oh and I will totally suggest my children leave home within a year of finishing university. I think it’s a bit pathetic when grown adults with full time jobs live at hone and expect their parents to feed them and provide for them. I’ll stop cooking I think. I hate it anyway. 

My daughter never moved back home after she graduated college.  She got a good job where she was and kept moving up the ladder.  My oldest moved back home after he and his partner broke up.  My baby is still in college.  Italian sons are independent, but their stomachs go wherever the good food is located. 

[danvillebelle]

16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I have a very laid back idea about leaving the nest. I think it's kind of silly for people to expect all 18 year olds to immediately move out on their own. But I detest the SAHD movement. There's a lot of in between. Living with your parents as a young adult makes a lot of sense. You could save a decent amount of money so you can save up for your first down payment on a house. But I also don't think it's ok or adult children to live at home, jobless, without helping around the house. I would expect my adult child to live in our home like they would live with a random roommate. They can't walk all over me because they came out of my vagina. 

This.  

My older daughter is about to turn 20.  She does not currently have a paying job, but she is volunteering lots of hours at the library hoping to move into a paid position there.  

That being said - we have zero problems with her being at home right now.  She does all the cleaning (at her request, she loves to clean) and a lot of the cooking and baking.  She is an autodidact and has read more about sociology and psychology in the last year than I have in my entire life.  She also suffers from pretty severe anxiety like her mom and we have to get that under control (possibly with meds) before she gets more busy outside the home.

[front hugs > duggs]

As more of a Maxwell dabbler, can anybody explain why they try to hide Nathan's wedding on the blog now? Why was it scrubbed? TIA!

[HermioneSparrow]

Not trying to be offensive BUT if you all other generations didn't screw up the economy so bad we would have the option of starting independent lives much sooner but nope, it's really hard to move out and be on our own.

I moved out years ago and had to live with grandma, was lucky enough to get a temporary job and live free overseas for a year then back to my home country in crisis and had to leave again as a political refugee.. Now since 60% of my people had to emigrate, my mom came here and we are roomates. Hard to live with parents after such a long time but she's pretty chill and I'd rather live with her than with strangers. That being said, it's my choice and we are equals in this situation, very different to fundies who are forced to live that way.

[DooDahDame]

In checking, Twin Oaks facilities include a nursing home, assisted living and independent living. I recognized two people from their "former" church (probably just in another part of the building). I looked at pictures from their blogs about their church. Same stuff, different name. I wonder why? What's in it for him? Are they the IT specialists for the facility?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

As for visiting the Duggars or roping in a Duggar--I don't expect them to have a Duggar on the Marquee at their event. That would steal their thunder! I do wish they'd let Mary get married--maybe a Duggar twin? Of course not, who am I kidding. Mary will be a slave to her parents forever too, just like her sisters.

[Odd1Out]

For the Ft Smith conference:

Why are they not having the ‘running your own business’ talk given by Steve aimed at young people and dads only at the same time as Terie’s Scheduling talk for the ladies? 

Isnt it like-minded, not ‘like minded’?

why are they using photos of single John? He’s now extended family. Either take a new family photo or use one with Chelsy included too Steve!!

[nastyhobbitses]

8 hours ago, daisyjane1234 said:

I am often quite surprised by the idea that kids move out at 18.  No one in our world has kids who do that, and most of my friends would feel that 18 is too young to be completely independent.  Away at school, sure.  But independent.  NO way.  I call them the yo-yo years.  Kids come and go.

My kids are 17, 19, and 21.  To be sure they all head out around 17 to attend university.  To me that isn't moving out.  Their primary residence is home, they just spend 8 months of the year studying elsewhere. It's different.  My eldest will return home after his final year of undergrad this summer and he plans to remain at home for the next year, work, and save money for graduate school of some kind - he's hoping law school.  That makes perfect sense to me.  We'll be glad to have  him at home, but unlike the Maxwell's he will be treated as an adult.  He'll come and go as he pleases, but will keep us in the loop so we don't worry - particularly if he's away overnight.  He'll help with household chores and he'll hold the fort down if my husband and I go away for a few days.  We won't charge him rent because his plan is to save all his earnings for school.  He's also  talking about saving to do some traveling.  Something we support.  Because unlike the Maxwell's we want our kids to experience the world, understand different cultures/values and so on.  

We have boys so our general expectation is that they will likely remain at home (or coming and going based on school/work/travel) until mid-20s.  That seems par for the course these days and we're all good with it.  

 

That's pretty much what I did. I've been yo-yoing since I was 18 (college, home for a few months after I graduated, moved to China, stayed with my family during Chinese New Year break, went back to China, moved back home for ten months and worked full-time, moved to the UK for grad school, moved back and stayed home for three weeks while I figured out an apartment and a job, landed an apartment, lived there for a year and a half while working, now I'm moving overseas for work AGAIN and I've been at home for two weeks and commuting to work because that's given me enough time to move out of my apartment, buy stuff, and spend time with my parents before I move). Hopefully this move to the UK will be the last yo-yo. It's nice having a home to come back to, but I need to stop being a nomad...or be a nomad in a way that doesn't involve crashing with my parents for weeks on end while I figure shit out. 

[nausicaa]

I think I've mentioned this before but I lived at home until I was 28. My mom lives in a rambling old ranch house by herself and rent is insanely high around here. I paid a reduced rent, always worked or went to school, cleaned up after myself, bought my own groceries, et cetera. Also, my mom treated me like an adult and didn't care if I went on dates or out with friends all night. It worked really well for us (she used my rent for cruises, pedicures, and gifts for her grandchildren ). But man did I have a chip on my shoulder because of the stereotype that everyone at home is taken care of. 

Anyway, it can work out. I saved up a nice bit of money for a down payment for a house, got to open a retirement account when I was 23, and when I did move out I did perfectly fine at cleaning my place, paying bills, and just generally taking care of myself despite the stereotype of adult children who lived at home being somehow limited. I really appreciate having privacy and decorating my own place now, but appreciate even more the financial cushion I was allowed to build. I see how little I can save now after paying rent, and just can't imagine how difficult it would have been to get ahead financially in this area otherwise. 

[grammyj]

Interesting when you read the details about the  conference sessions,  they state that content is family friendly for all ages, or something to that effect. That is noted.

I wonder.......did Max read, I think,  Palimpsest's report about going to a Conference,  especially the part where Mr. Palimpsest was beyond disgusted if I remember correctly, at the way Steve haranged the Fathers with small boys in attendance, preaching his fire and briM stone. Just puttin' it out there........

 

 

 

 

 

[Black Aliss]

On 1/25/2018 at 8:57 PM, Grimalkin said:

I wonder if her brothers ever feel guilty leaving her home with Steve as they go off and marry and start families.

No. Why should they? They are male, and therefore they are entitled!

[socalrules]

I don’t really see the problem with adults living at home with their parents if they want. As long as it is their choice, there is nothing wrong it. This gets into the territory of married/single/kids/no kids  at x-age, expensive/cheap wedding or college/no college. There is no one right way for everyone. The problem is the Maxwell spawn get no choice in what they want to do and when they do it. A man (Steve) sets the rules for how they will live their lives and that’s it. They don’t get to decide if they move out, go to school or spend a day not following the schedule. 

Am I the only one who finds it weird they would basically post that they are staying at the same hotel that has discount rates for the conference? What if they had a stalker? I also wonder why they are still posting pictures with John in their conference announcement when he is no longer part of the immediate family. I need someone to explain why people would attend a seminar about chores. Is that the seminar you go to when you want to take a nap? 

[Black Aliss]

On 1/28/2018 at 5:34 AM, theologygeek said:

I know you're right but I miss my daughter so much.  Visits aren't enough. 

I get it. I miss my daughters something fierce. They are off living their lives, both working to make the world a better place, happy and healthy, and yet. . .I wish they could do all that and still be less than a day's drive away from me.

[ophelia]

15 hours ago, VodouDoll said:

Same with Steve. He says studying theology is like eating food someone else has already chewed. According to him, all you need to be a pastor is to read the Bible. Any further pastoral education is backwash.

And once again the ignorance and stupidity burns. I'm so glad to attend churches with pastors that studied theology for years. 

[Ozlsn]

15 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Does he insist on the KJV?? The mere IDEA of VERSIONS speaks to interpretation, and translation. So any fool with a SODRT education can become a preacher? Ass.

I'm sure Steve reads the Bible in the original languages. No translations at all. After all doesn't he speak and read Hebrew, Aramaic and Koine Greek?

(Why yes the whole KJV as the 'original' text does both amuse and irritate me, thanks for asking.)

[Captain Obvious]

On 28/01/2018 at 10:55 AM, lilith said:

We’ve recently found out that 8 other families attend the nursing home church. Assuming that they aren’t counting the three married Maxwell sons as seperate families...

Now come on - I bet they do. That's 3 other families right there. Gigi could count as a family by herself. That means that they only needed 4 other families to wander in by accident once while visiting Gran and bingo - 8 families.

19 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Does he insist on the KJV?? The mere IDEA of VERSIONS speaks to interpretation, and translation. So any fool with a SODRT education and a penis can become a preacher? Ass.

Fixed it for you. 

[Captain Obvious]

15 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

@Captain Obvious, thank you for the photo reminder. So... you know the family — can you tell me, is photojournalistic coverage of burials a thing in this social set?

I have NFI. But I would be that, since Kristina is a family friend who is one of those (I assume) unqualified female photographers that multiply in fundieland, she may have just been seeking to practise her skills, and since it was "for the glory of the LORD", they agreed to it.

Interestingly, Kristina - who was once shown on the blog sewing and wearing matching frumpers with the Maxgirls - can now be seen on her FB wearing pants. But she's a missionary in Hawaii now so she must have gone fundie-lite. She wasn't at the J & C wedding, that I can tell. 

[CyborgKin]

On 29/01/2018 at 1:11 PM, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

I think it’s a bit pathetic when grown adults with full time jobs live at hone and expect their parents to feed them and provide for them.

Yep, if you've got an adult income and are expecting to get all that for free, that's bordering on theft