Zoey Joy Webster Is Now Here (update)

[JermajestyDuggar]

Maybe it's because I only have boys but girly things and the color pink are not considered "less than" in our house. Pink is a favorite color of one of my boys and thankfully no one has told him it's for girls only. I try to teach my boys that both masculine and feminine types of things are equal and you just like what you like. I'm sure that will change as they get older and their friends rub off on them...

[QuiverDance]

My son often gravitates to pink things and “beautiful” things. I think that’s just human not gendered.  I, like you, do not get why people make such a fuss. 

[VelociRapture]

On 1/8/2018 at 11:53 AM, QuiverDance said:

 My kid had a little vanity set.  And a play kitchen. Promise it didn’t make her vapid. Or fundie.  

@neurogirlmade it very clear she was not speaking about regular families like your’s. She was speaking specifically about families who live a fundamentalist lifestyle that very much pushes societal gender stereotypes on children. If you allow your kids to explore their interests regardless of your own expectations or societal gender norms then she wasn’t speaking about you or your family.

2 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

My son often gravitates to pink things and “beautiful” things. I think that’s just human not gendered.  I, like you, do not get why people make such a fuss. 

Maybe because some of us don’t enjoy pink and glitter? I mean, if my kid ends up liking that stuff then I’m happy to help her explore that, but it’s not something I naturally gravitate towards.

And, again, please see above about why people are critical of these specific families. 

[neurogirl]

Thank you @VelociRapture! I think my post was misunderstood.

I love Disney princesses and my avatar is Rapunzel for goodness sake. My signature color is pink. I grew up on barbies and played with dolls until middle school. My wardrobe consists of bright colors and polka dots, and I've always felt most comfortable in a dress. I am not in any way against pink or traditionally "girly" things!!!

HOWEVER I had a choice. I preferred the dolls but also had hot wheels, sports equipment, science kits, ratty clothes to run around and get dirty in. If this was a just a child playing at a vanity I wouldn't have commented. It's that its Alyssa's girls, who are only seen in hyper-feminine outfits doing hyper-feminine things, there is no indication that any other options are available to them, AND Alyssa seems proud of their "girly" interests. I don't think she would have posted "Allie Jane is just obsessed with collecting bugs!"

You don't have to agree with me but please don't think I'm bashing on traditionally feminine activities!

[VelociRapture]

12 minutes ago, neurogirl said:

Thank you @VelociRapture! I think my post was misunderstood.

I love Disney princesses and my avatar is Rapunzel for goodness sake. My signature color is pink. I grew up on barbies and played with dolls until middle school. My wardrobe consists of bright colors and polka dots, and I've always felt most comfortable in a dress. I am not in any way against pink or traditionally "girly" things!!!

HOWEVER I had a choice. I preferred the dolls but also had hot wheels, sports equipment, science kits, ratty clothes to run around and get dirty in. If this was a just a child playing at a vanity I wouldn't have commented. It's that its Alyssa's girls, who are only seen in hyper-feminine outfits doing hyper-feminine things, there is no indication that any other options are available to them, AND Alyssa seems proud of their "girly" interests. I don't think she would have posted "Allie Jane is just obsessed with collecting bugs!"

You don't have to agree with me but please don't think I'm bashing on traditionally feminine activities!

I think you were perfectly clear in your original post. Alyssa and John have given no public indications that they have left IBLP or fundamentalism behind - they don’t owe anyone an explanation, but they also don’t deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt either. Until they choose to publicly disavow themselves of fundamentalism we can only assume they continue to believe the things they were raised with and they have chosen to raise their daughters with the same beliefs.

(I truly hope this isn’t the case and that they choose to do right by their girls. Anything is possible, but there really haven’t been any signs pointing towards that thus far.)

[candygirl200413]

I think every once in a while we try to apply our "secular, non-fundie" lifestyle when one of these fundies do something. They are a whole other world compared to us.

[neurogirl]

Another Webster sighting! I love Allie Jane's sass in this one (and I do love how Alyssa honored her grandmother in her first daughter's name. Alyssa and her Mama Jane seem genuinely close)!

 

[LegHumperBibleThumper]

1 minute ago, neurogirl said:

Another Webster sighting! I love Allie Jane's sass in this one (and I do love how Alyssa honored her grandmother in her first daughter's name. Alyssa and her Mama Jane seem genuinely close)!

 

Can't decide if I love the shirt or hate it. The pattern combo seems off. Maybe I'm just jealous because I haven't been able to wear Non-Maternity since about 9 weeks.

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, neurogirl said:

Another Webster sighting! I love Allie Jane's sass in this one (and I do love how Alyssa honored her grandmother in her first daughter's name. Alyssa and her Mama Jane seem genuinely close)!

 

We just had family photos done last month which is why I’m noticing this: It’s kind of cute how they match without matching. The colors of their outfits go together really nicely. 

Other than that - Allie’s face is priceless, I’m loving Lexi’s little confused expression, and Alyssa continues to look ridiculously good for being in the third trimester. 

[melon]

Yes,she does look great.I ,on the other hand,looked like a beached whale.

 

[just_ordinary]

I think apart from carrying small, she really knows how to pose and dress. The pattern of the skirt could make it look as if she isn’t spotting a bump at all at short glance. But if you look it is definitely there and not that small anymore (still small compared to others and for being pregnant the third time).

I will agree that Alyssa and John might not be actively encouraging her girls to delve into more boyish activities. But I see many many non fundie parents who are unconsciously (and sometimes consciously) limiting their children to gendered toys and activities. If the rest of society has this problem and it is somehow quite accepted I am definitely not expecting Fundies to be ones to change first (even though I would love them too for their children’s sake). That said, I somehow feel that if Allie does find an interest in bugs they would post about it and think it’s kinda cute and funny. As long as there a no boys in the family the girls will get a bit more freedom I think. Doesn’t mean they would support her in being a bug scientist.

[QuiverDance]

On 1/9/2018 at 11:00 AM, VelociRapture said:

@neurogirlmade it very clear she was not speaking about regular families like your’s. She was speaking specifically about families who live a fundamentalist lifestyle that very much pushes societal gender stereotypes on children. If you allow your kids to explore their interests regardless of your own expectations or societal gender norms then she wasn’t speaking about you or your family.

Maybe because some of us don’t enjoy pink and glitter? I mean, if my kid ends up liking that stuff then I’m happy to help her explore that, but it’s not something I naturally gravitate towards.

And, again, please see above about why people are critical of these specific families. 

I think you’re getting your knickers in a serious knot unnecessarily, but I’m going to walk on by this for two reasons: 1) I don’t come to FJ to argue; and 2) I said nothing for which I should be getting dressed down. 

Consider me thoroughly uncastigated by your remarks. 

[VelociRapture]

9 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I think apart from carrying small, she really knows how to pose and dress. The pattern of the skirt could make it look as if she isn’t spotting a bump at all at short glance. But if you look it is definitely there and not that small anymore (still small compared to others and for being pregnant the third time).

I will agree that Alyssa and John might not be actively encouraging her girls to delve into more boyish activities. But I see many many non fundie parents who are unconsciously (and sometimes consciously) limiting their children to gendered toys and activities. If the rest of society has this problem and it is somehow quite accepted I am definitely not expecting Fundies to be ones to change first (even though I would love them too for their children’s sake). That said, I somehow feel that if Allie does find an interest in bugs they would post about it and think it’s kinda cute and funny. As long as there a no boys in the family the girls will get a bit more freedom I think. Doesn’t mean they would support her in being a bug scientist.

This is very true. There’s nothing inherently wrong with super “girly” or “boy” stuff (and no one in this specific conversation said anything remotely close to that) - the issue is when the adults in charge force those interests or fashions onto the child without regard for what the child wants or likes. It’s just as wrong for any parent to force their child of either sex to play Princess and wear dresses as it would be for a parent to ban their child from ever playing with dolls or dressing in tutus. Choice and the ability to explore your interests is key.

[HarleyQuinn]

That boutique she's always tagging seems so shady though. I looked at them and you have to comment "sold!" on their photos them DM them your details to pay for it? Why not just use a website? 

[bal maiden]

21 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

That boutique she's always tagging seems so shady though. I looked at them and you have to comment "sold!" on their photos them DM them your details to pay for it? Why not just use a website? 

I've seen quite a few small businesses that operate this way, 90% are totally legit, in my admittedly anecdotal experience. Often they are WAHM type businesses, and I'm guessing that setting up a website (however straightforward that can be these days) is either not worth the effort when selling on FB works just fine, or beyond the skill set of the business owner, or both! 

[Seculardaisy]

On 1/11/2018 at 9:03 AM, HarleyQuinn said:

That boutique she's always tagging seems so shady though. I looked at them and you have to comment "sold!" on their photos them DM them your details to pay for it? Why not just use a website? 

That’s pretty common for shops on IG. Normally they then invoice you with a paypal link to the email you provide. PayPal is good about getting your money back if the shop indeed fails to deliver. IG makes it so if somebody shares an email you have to type everything out and write out at instead of using the @ symbol because they block email comments. Also I remember a few shops had people following their IG accounts and using the email from the comments to send fake PayPal links. So now many shops just have you DM them to make things easier. I shop on IG his way a lot. I’ve only ever had a problem like once in the many purchases I’ve made on IG.

[jakesykora]

Allie Jane's got a cute new 'big girl' room (pink/princessy, as I'm sure is not a surprise!).
 

Alyssa did a reveal on IG stories earlier today (so it'll be up another 15 hours or so).  If I had a clue how to capture a story I would, but...alas, I don't!

[Kangaroo]

37 minutes ago, jakesykora said:

Allie Jane's got a cute new 'big girl' room (pink/princessy, as I'm sure is not a surprise!).
 

Alyssa did a reveal on IG stories earlier today (so it'll be up another 15 hours or so).  If I had a clue how to capture a story I would, but...alas, I don't!

Spoiler

Here's a screenshot of the bed. There's also a chest of draws that is pink and white, and her vanity toy we previously saw.

The walls are a very dark shade of grey however. The first time I saw it I thought they looked almost very dark green! Probably just the way the light was reflecting, but still interesting to see they didn't go for pink on pink on pink.

Personally, I'm not a fan on the bed angled in the corner like this. It seems a bit impractical and wastes space!

[Seculardaisy]

7 hours ago, Kangaroo said:

  Reveal hidden contents

Here's a screenshot of the bed. There's also a chest of draws that is pink and white, and her vanity toy we previously saw.

The walls are a very dark shade of grey however. The first time I saw it I thought they looked almost very dark green! Probably just the way the light was reflecting, but still interesting to see they didn't go for pink on pink on pink.

Personally, I'm not a fan on the bed angled in the corner like this. It seems a bit impractical and wastes space!

The room turned out really pretty! I hope they can continue to do things like this for the kids. Seems like it won’t be so easy for kids #10+.

(And no I don’t buy it when Alyssa says they will stop at 6-10. She also said they were taking a break after Lexi before TTC. Plus she’s already had one kid each year of her twenties.)

[VelociRapture]

Additional screenshots:

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

Chandelier by the vanity is a decal, not real. Just wanted to point that out because I looked quick and wasn’t sure (I’m also tired... don’t judge me.)

The walls did throw me off at first for the reason @Kangaroomentioned. The room looks nice though - it’s a good mix of neutral floors and walls with pops of color on the bed and furniture. 

2 hours ago, Seculardaisy said:

The room turned out really pretty! I hope they can continue to do things like this for the kids. Seems like it won’t be so easy for kids #10+.

(And no I don’t buy it when Alyssa says they will stop at 6-10. She also said they were taking a break after Lexi before TTC. Plus she’s already had one kid each year of her twenties.)

I completely agree. It’s easy to do nice and personalized rooms when you only have a few kids... but if you have a big family and limited space it becomes much harder, especially if the kids have very different interests. Not impossible by any means, but definitely harder.

And I completely agree about not taking them at their word. It’s absolytely possible that they want to have six or eight kids close in age and they’ll stop after that, but it’s mostly a wait and see thing at this point. I hope that they (and every couple) end up with a number of kids that’s manageable for them personally, but that’s difficult to do if they ultimately decide not to take steps to ensure that happens. I guess I’ll just keep my fingers crossed.

[Mela99]

I really love the ombre dresser. It's a cute room.

[Seculardaisy]

2 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Additional screenshots:

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  Reveal hidden contents

 

Chandelier by the vanity is a decal, not real. Just wanted to point that out because I looked quick and wasn’t sure (I’m also tired... don’t judge me.)

The walls did throw me off at first for the reason @Kangaroomentioned. The room looks nice though - it’s a good mix of neutral floors and walls with pops of color on the bed and furniture. 

I completely agree. It’s easy to do nice and personalized rooms when you only have a few kids... but if you have a big family and limited space it becomes much harder, especially if the kids have very different interests. Not impossible by any means, but definitely harder.

And I completely agree about not taking them at their word. It’s absolytely possible that they want to have six or eight kids close in age and they’ll stop after that, but it’s mostly a wait and see thing at this point. I hope that they (and every couple) end up with a number of kids that’s manageable for them personally, but that’s difficult to do if they ultimately decide not to take steps to ensure that happens. I guess I’ll just keep my fingers crossed.

I totally thought it was a real chandelier when I glanced at it too! No judgement here.

[just_ordinary]

The room isn’t my personal taste at all but you can tell that they made quite an effort and it looks all nicely fit together. I am sure Allie loves it.

It definitely makes it easier that they have only girls right now as they can put them in the room together and don’t have to worry about those damn gender roles. 

[Melissa1977]

I don't like dark grey for a kid's bedroom, but to each their own. Anyway, when they'll have a boy, they'll need bunk beds in that room, so better paint it in a light colour or it'll be suffocating.

In some recent videos, Alyssa seemed slighty overwhelmed with 2 kids or at least she didn't make everything look as easy as Erin or Whit, probably because there aren't relatives to babysit and she and John are struggling with schedules and jobs (the same as most of working parents!). Also she said she wasn't in a rush for having another kid, so maybe Joey was a surprise. She doesn't look like someone who is thrilling to have a bunch of kids (not even 5), so I really hope she feels free to take decisions about her family size. *of course, I'm just speculating, based on pictures, posts and videos.

[neurogirl]

That first hashtag took me a while (she’s perfect) but Allie seems like a little fashionista. I wonder if she helps pick out her outfits or if it’s all Alyssa still?

i also think Alyssa genuinely adores being able to do this girly stuff with her daughters and indulge them on a personal level. I think (and hope) she may go until she gets a boy, and then stop because she doesn’t want to take too much attention away from those mini-mes. But what do I know about fundie logic?