Dillards 43: Tweeting for God

[Glasgowghirl]

Derick can't let go of the transgender issue, we get you don't believe it's right, a lot of people don't and are entitled to that opinion. However, Derick chose to abuse them on twitter but instead of going for Caitlyn Jenner, Laverene Cox or Chaz Bono, he had to go for Jazz a teenager, Jazz dealt with it with class, dignity and showed how much more mature she is than Derick. He seems to enjoy getting negative attention and has a martyr complex. 

His comments about Izzy are strange he is two, he isn't manipulative or doing stuff just to go against you. He's being a child exploring the world. Ben is definitely a better father to Spurgeon and Henry.

[onekidanddone]

4 minutes ago, Buzzard said:

Thats a 2 year old version of "are we there yet."  You tell them, nicely, that we arent where we're going and you have to stay in your seat.

When a friend's daughter was two or three and started with the 'are we there yet' talk, her husband would slow down the car and say, 'yes, get out'. I didn't find it all that funny.

I used to ask my dad how many miles before we got there. I think he just made up random numbers when he answered. 

When my kid was seven or eight we drove to PA from Maryland. She kept asking me  if we were in Pennsylvania yet. It started to drive me  nuts because she said over and over. When we finally crossed the state border and I pointed to the Welcome to Pennsylvania sign, she responded " Are we still in Maryland"?

[HarleyQuinn]

2 hours ago, Gillyweed said:

That's so true. The best way to get Derick to stop spreading hate would be for everyone to stop reacting to his tweets. He probably finds joy in eliciting a response from heathens. No response would mean he is no longer getting anything out of tweeting. Of course, he'd still have these horrible beliefs, but he would at least stop subjecting the internet to them.

I kind of disagree with this stance in this scenario. Gross beliefs should always be called out. No one should be able to spout hateful bullshit without someone pointing out how awful they are. Even if he gets off on the martyr complex, deep down I'm sure his precious little feelings sometimes get hurt and he deserves that for being a such, well...wreck.

[Bad Wolf]

@Gillyweed and @HarleyQuinn. Both good arguments. Thanks for making me think.

[grandmadugger]

I just can't with Dwreck anymore. I didn't think he could go lower but he did. #FreeIzzy

[Imagine20]

I think Derick expected more out of his life as a Duggar in law. It hasn't quite worked out like he thought. No accounting career, no missionary job. He's back in the States under the thumb of his father in law. He's not a fan favorite. He picks fights to get reactions. All he has in life is trolling. It's quite pathetic, when you think about it.

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, Imagine20 said:

All he has in life is trolling. It's quite pathetic, when you think about it.

And through it all, I have no doubt, Jilly Muffin just keeps on smiling.

[Eternalbluepearl]

50 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

And through it all, I have no doubt, Jilly Muffin just keeps on smiling.

It's like she's proud of Derick. It makes me think Jill is kind of smug. A lot of Duggars are I guess. Josh, Jill, Jim Bob...etc.

[IrishCarrie]

When we were kids and on long car journeys with my dad, we knew better than to ask how much further. Dad would say "Well, we have another two hundred and seventeen miles to go. And the car is moving at 65 miles per hour...so you tell me!" And he expected an answer...  

After a few car trips that turned into maths classes, you learn to never ask if we're there yet.

Even after you'd eventually given him the right answer he'd make you convert the miles to kilometres, or redo it based on the latest location/speed stats. I'd highly recommend it as a tactic - it certainly worked on us!! 

 

[Dutch_girl]

12 minutes ago, IrishCarrie said:

When we were kids and on long car journeys with my dad, we knew better than to ask how much further. Dad would say "Well, we have another two hundred and seventeen miles to go. And the car is moving at 65 miles per hour...so you tell me!" And he expected an answer...  

After a few car trips that turned into maths classes, you learn to never ask if we're there yet.

Even after you'd eventually given him the right answer he'd make you convert the miles to kilometres, or redo it based on the latest location/speed stats. I'd highly recommend it as a tactic - it certainly worked on us!! 

 

Ohhh the sweet childhood memories, my dad used to do that as well  And after that, my mom would ask: "and which cities are on the way?" to get some topography in the mix. 

[VelociRapture]

13 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I kind of disagree with this stance in this scenario. Gross beliefs should always be called out. No one should be able to spout hateful bullshit without someone pointing out how awful they are. Even if he gets off on the martyr complex, deep down I'm sure his precious little feelings sometimes get hurt and he deserves that for being a such, well...wreck.

I completely agree. No one should be able to spew disgusting hatred against people like Jazz or my brother for being LGBTQIA+ without being challenged for it. Or say disgustingly racist and sexist stuff about someone like Leslie Jones for having the audacity to be a hysterical and successful black woman. Or direct hate at people who are Asian or Hispanic or Jewish or Atheists or Muslim or...

If people stop challenging Derick on his disgusting beliefs it won’t do any good. He’ll only receive positive responses to what he writes and that’ll simply reinforce that he’s right. At least people calling him out has the slight chance of teaching him, or someone with similar beliefs, something. And even if no one learns anything, the person who is Transgender or Gay or <enter sexual identity here> will see people sticking up for them and they’ll know they have way more allies than enemies. 

[Buzzard]

2 hours ago, Dutch_girl said:

Ohhh the sweet childhood memories, my dad used to do that as well  And after that, my mom would ask: "and which cities are on the way?" to get some topography in the mix. 

And how many times will we have to stop for gas if we get 27 MPG at highway speeds and we have 315 miles left and an 18 gallon gas tank.

[Bad Wolf]

3 hours ago, Buzzard said:

And how many times will we have to stop for gas if we get 27 MPG at highway speeds and we have 315 miles left and an 18 gallon gas tank.

And how much will it cost at $X per gallon.

[apandaaries]

9 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

It's like she's proud of Derick. It makes me think Jill is kind of smug. A lot of Duggars are I guess. Josh, Jill, Jim Bob...etc.

Can't forget Joy, who seems to have completely modeled herself on Jill.  Watching her specials and her attitude overall has really reinforced the fact that she's enjoyed the Kool-Aid and requested seconds. 

[AlternativeVoice]

9 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

It's like she's proud of Derick. It makes me think Jill is kind of smug. A lot of Duggars are I guess. Josh, Jill, Jim Bob...etc.

I think she was proud at one point...i think she would prefer if he spend more time focusing on his family than Twitter. Especially when everytime you tweet it ends up creating a shitstorm small or large. But she would never say anything like Jessa probably would. She is just gna follow him blindly and maybe voice tiny disagreements but that's it. 

IMO the secrecy w Sams birth has more to do w Jill than baby Sam. He seems healthy & thriving & Derrick had no issues saying the labor was a long process before he re worded his tweet. Jill seems hyper sensitive so I wonder sometimes if she isn't locked away on her bathroom crying while feeding Sam while Derrick tries to deal with Izzy manipulations. Free Izzy for real.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@IrishCarrie, @Dutch_girl, @Buzzard, @Bad Wolf--I had an 8th grade math teacher who thought we all should be doing lots of practical math practice on our family vacations, like y'all remember. I never said it to my teacher, but I always rolled my eyes and thought, "I'm the youngest of four kids and I ride in the third row seat in a big, old Suburban. I never even see the map or the speedometer or the gas receipts. I count myself lucky if I know where we're going and when the next meal break will be!"  

On that note, I wonder how many of the little Duggarlings went on trips on their bus with no idea where they were headed.

[The limit does not exist]

For really long car trips, my parents would get the flip maps from AAA and I would follow along on there so they didn't constantly get asked. Doing that is probably part of why I can read maps so well now. My husband has absolutely no sense of direction.

[apandaaries]

17 minutes ago, AlternativeVoice said:

IMO the secrecy w Sams birth has more to do w Jill than baby Sam. He seems healthy & thriving & Derrick had no issues saying the labor was a long process before he re worded his tweet. Jill seems hyper sensitive so I wonder sometimes if she isn't locked away on her bathroom crying while feeding Sam while Derrick tries to deal with Izzy manipulations. Free Izzy for real.

Sam does seem healthy now, but I'm pretty sure he spent time in the NICU.  That in itself indicts no mother, but given the very questionable decisions we've seen from JillyMuffin, especially regarding labor and delivery, there is certainly cause for some suspicion about the labor itself. 

Reading up on some of the more underground and extreme "natural birthing" websites and boards, it's clear that there are definitely some people willing to make unusual and at times dangerous decisions about childbirth.  For whatever reasons, they are okay with those risks.  Given the laws in Arkansas about VBACs, midwives, and home births, it's not a huge stretch to wonder if Jill labored at home too long, perhaps in an attempt at a VBAC in a comfortable location, and then had to change plans far into the labor.  

Jill's been raised to think a woman's worth is in her ability to create and rear children, preferably in large quantities. It's been her lifelong focus; even when she was studying (in whatever capacity that truly was), midwifery was what she pursued.  If I were her, raised in such a way, it's quite likely that I would have also made some stupid decisions to "prove" that birth canal and ensure the possibility of more than a small(ish) family.  Ignorance is never a good excuse, but it can help as an explanation for some poor choices.

Remember the Jill birthing thread for Izzy, that went on for seemingly years? People were pissed about her decisions, and with good reason. Keeping critics at bay and also avoiding potential legal repercussions (no midwife can legally attend a VBAC homebirth in Arkansas) will probably lead to us seeing nothing except a sanitized version of the birth (which will likely also be re-edited as critiques flood in). Also, we never saw Jill even attempt to establish a relationship with an OB/GYN (please correct me if I'm wrong; I find the show unwatchable but I do enjoy the FJ recaps) with her pregnancy with Sam.  At least in my area, an OB/GYN would want to spend time with an expectant mother before contemplating a VBAC -- more time than just the final trimester.  From the women I've known, VBACs are rather a specialty and those docs willing to attempt them want to work with and monitor the pregnancy usually from around the second trimester.

Just think -- Jill had some of the most one-on-one time with her parents growing up. She had one of the better Duggar educations.  She got some kind of midwifery training.  But that training lead her to think that she and Dreck could successfully monitor the pregnancy while in SCA and avoid doctors.  While I'm not trying to shame C-sections (yay modern medicine!), that wasn't the outcome she desired (she did mention wanting a vaginal delivery for Sam, though she used different terms). For someone who views God as personally involved in her life, how did she take that? How are she and Dreck processing these events?

She has more experience talking with the media and giving interviews, but her communication skills are quite limited. She never comes off as intelligent, and now we watch Dreck interrupt her constantly.  She was supposed to be someone who could cook and keep a house, but we keep seeing Izzy eating cold food out of cans and other stuff on paper plates.   She does look much happier now that she's in the US, but she doesn't seem to have the same light she used to. Does Dreck even notice? What does he do when she cries for reasons unknown (as she mentioned in her advice to Joy about wedlock)? 

Do JB and MEchelle look at her and Dreck as a success? Is this what they really wanted for their children? Do they look at them and just see Jesus fearing, proselytizing, good Christians raising a happy family? Does JB ever regret setting them up? After all, on her wedding day, she said she wanted a man just like her daddy and he found her one...does that ever haunt JB? Cuz I gotta say, when I look at Jill and Dreck, I see neither life nor relationship goals; instead, I see a lot of warning signs.

 

[AtlanticTug]

I don't know whether Jill is happy with Derrick or not.

Based on what we were privy to in terms of TV coverage and their blog and Instagram, I think the following is probably fair to say:

• She was happy during the courtship/engagement. She had the spark in her and Derrick's personality really came across differently back then, at least in public. Since they had limited private time, I wouldn't be surprised if she got a different version of Derrick then vs. now sort of like we did.
• She was happy during her pregnancy. I think that she was really excited to get pregnant so fast, have a relatively easy and smooth pregnancy, probably lots of attention inside her family and in the media. Yes, she was also clingy re: Derrick during the workday but I think that was not a signal that she was unhappy - probably simply bored and not used to having so much alone time. It isn't as if she really had a hobby or she read prolifically or had anything else to entertain herself with.
• Her recovery from Izzy's birth was difficult. She was not as mobile as, say Anna or Jessa who had vaginal births. She had a traumatic delivery, long labour and her recovery appeared to be very painful - remember those shots of them in church weeks later and she was clutching her abdomen clearly in discomfort? A non-fundie would have stayed home from church but I bet she didn't think as if that was viable. I was very lucky after my c-section that I was up and about in 24 hours and running almost 5K a month later but she didn't seem to get so lucky.
• When she probably finally physically recovered, her idiot husband took her to SCA. She was a new Mom in a strange land, a language she didn't speak and never seemed to get the hang of, without any support from family and likely spending many hours alone with an infant while her husband was "soul saving" the Catholics. If she was bored and lonely living in the McMansion while Derrick was working at Walmart, imagine how isolated she felt in El Salvador.
• Everything since then has been downhill for her. They were back and forth, they got slammed HARD for their grifting, they didn't seem that excited about Samuel and even did everything "right" in terms of spacing him and Izzy to give her the best possible chance for a VBAC...failed. Not only failed, but spectacularly failed in the sense that they were hospitalized for days and we have no idea why. They started out married life in a beautiful and spacious mansion and now seem to be living in a dumpy and dark rental. All that media attention and leghumper fawning (and there was a LOT during the "cute" Baby Dilly days, even on these boards for crying out loud) has gone away because Jessa has a nicer house, cuter kids, a better marriage and a more likeable husband. Now her other siblings are courting and marrying one after another and nobody will care that she is having c-section 3 or 4.

Jill's only upside since Izzy was born is the return to Arkansas. That's hard. So if she is smiling and encouraging her foolish husband, I don't know if it's because she agrees with his foolishness or she is as hateful or she is plain old dumb or she is just trying to do what she can to make it through the day. So she smiles "yes dear" because it is a hell of a lot easier to be wilfully blind about your circumstances than to confront them and face reality. 

She was always one of my least favourite Duggars, but I do feel sorry for her. Like I said before on these boards, ever since her labour with Izzy her life on the whole could not have brought her much happiness and personal satisfaction. This is what happens when you are raised to have a headship and be a broodmare and neither works out like you hoped and now you're left standing there with nothing at all. Shit, I'm depressed just writing it all out.

[MadameOvary]

@amandaaries I agree with most everything in your thoughtful post. This detail is pretty shocking:

30 minutes ago, amandaaries said:

Just think -- Jill had some of the most one-on-one time with her parents growing up. She had one of the better Duggar educations.  She got some kind of midwifery training.

In the context of Duggars, Jill is actually educated. What hope is there for the younger ones? 

I'm not medically trained in any way and have no idea how things stand statistically, but I get the impression reading these threads that maybe Americans see VBACs as something quite special in a way that we here in (northern) Europe perhaps don't. Here it is a normal option, obviously depending on why you previously ended up with a CS. But of course here everybody has prenatal care and the assessment of what you want and how that fits in with how your pregnancy is progressing, is built in. People typically don't go rogue and make stupid choices when they have good communication with their midwife and doctor. Jill situation (as far as what we have seen on tv) would be very, very, very unlikely here. Not saying it is in any way typical in America, but practically unheard of here.

[Carm_88]

I have a question, is Jill the only one talked about here that has had back to back c-sections? 

[KelseyAnn]

18 hours ago, grandmadugger said:

I just can't with Dwreck anymore. I didn't think he could go lower but he did. #FreeIzzy

And Sam. We can't leave Sam behind. 

[Bad Wolf]

1 hour ago, The limit does not exist said:

For really long car trips, my parents would get the flip maps from AAA and I would follow along on there so they didn't constantly get asked. Doing that is probably part of why I can read maps so well now. My husband has absolutely no sense of direction.

I loved those flip maps. The excitement of turning another page. Garmin just doesn't have the same thrill.

[apandaaries]

25 minutes ago, MadameOvary said:

I'm not medically trained in any way and have no idea how things stand statistically, but I get the impression reading these threads that maybe Americans see VBACs as something quite special in a way that we here in (northern) Europe perhaps don't. Here it is a normal option, obviously depending on why you previously ended up with a CS. But of course here everybody has prenatal care and the assessment of what you want and how that fits in with how your pregnancy is progressing, is built in.

I suspect our robust court system, love of suing for damages, and shoddy insurance system are to blame.  No one wants to get sued for a poor outcome and many doctors (and their hospitals) have policies about keeping things moving during labor.  Take too long and you will get pressure about making decisions for pitocin or other remedies (typing from personal experience here).  American doctors are responding to a unique medical system, one which frequently gets involved in legalities.  They're worried.

There's also the fact that most American living spaces are not designed for walking, but rather for cars.  As a result, we get less exercise and are often less fit for birth, which is physically incredibly demanding. Plus our food is, in general, pretty bad also, aiding our obesity epidemic.  I'm also going to state that I think our Puritanical side has something to do with it.  Many women are just uncomfortable with their bodies, and labor demands not just comfort but knowledge about your body. Europeans seem to have an advantage over us in that regard, too. All of this to say that to get an American woman to have a VBAC in a hospital does require a doctor who is willing to make that attempt, and many are not.

Side note: really wondering about who delivered Sam and if they'd ever seen that doc before.  Was it another waltz into the ER many hours in?  It kills me to know how stupid these people can be, and how little they appreciate the people who truly keep their blessings alive.  They thank God all the time, but I really feel like they should take some time to also thank those doctors and nurses for spending years learning valuable skills.*

*I know they took Josie back to see the nurses and docs, but it didn't quite seem the same as "they saved her life," which is the credit they gave God.  If your belief in God's work is that strong, maybe thank the people doing that work here on earth then, too? 

[Lurky]

On 10/29/2017 at 9:30 PM, Buzzard said:

I think the issue here is poor word choice.

I disagree.  His conflation of LGBT with his 2 year old child is offensive to me, and his fake distinctions in point 2, between who one is and what one does, is just semantics.

I'm a gay woman.  Because of my health issues, I can go through a long time without having sex.  I doubt Derrick would say I, or a single/asexual gay woman, was fine, he'd be yelling at us online, and banging on about what outrageous sinners we are.  And hell, Jazz Jennings would say all she's doing is living her life, but per Derrick, her just waking up in the morning is sinful. 

I loathe this bullshit.  Someone like me could never be good enough, ever.  And fuck it, I would lay money that in my daily life as a gasp! gay woman! I do more good for other people than Derrick does.  Admittedly, it's a very low bar, but in his world that counts for nothing and I'm nothing but a disgusting perverted sinner.