JinJer: Now with Social Media

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

@louisa05 I probably post something about my husband 2-4 times a month and I always call him by his name. For our anniversary last year he sent me on a bit of a scavenger hunt and I posted along the whole way. My friends and family seemed to love following along. And I posted a lot about him in in my birthday month because he did this two week long birthday thing for me. Maybe I am chill enough in my posts that I'm not super annoying? Honestly, I didn't think you meant that over the top. I don't have a single friend in my Facebook feed who does that. It really just seemed like a number of you were saying gushy relationship posts equal fake, which just isn't always the case. 

 

[Carm_88]

I hate the "I don't know what I would do without you in my life! You are my everything!" Well, I'm pretty sure, you'd have someone else to gush over. I also hate when people wish a Happy Birthday/Anniversary/whatever you're celebrating to someone who is not on Facebook and who they live with. You are searching for attention, if you live in the same house you can tell them. But did it happen if no one knows about it? 

[louisa05]

[mention=15834]louisa05[/i don't have a single friend in my Facebook feed who does that. It really just seemed like a number of you were saying gushy relationship posts equal fake, which just isn't always the case. 
 

I had five who did that crap. Two no longer post OTT crap about spouses because they are divorced. So there you go. Three still do it. One now does it with every new person she dates and her kids so that makes four. She's had around 15 loves of her life in the past ten years. Two are married to each other so we get both sides. We know that their marriage is a mere coexistence in reality.

Regarding messages to people not on Facebook, my aunt does that constantly. Problem is she thinks everyone automatically sees everything ever on the internet. I often think there may need to be an upper age limit. Or perhaps a tech awareness test for the over 70s in order to keep social media accounts.

[Gillyweed]

57 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I also hate when people wish a Happy Birthday/Anniversary/whatever you're celebrating to someone who is not on Facebook and who they live with. You are searching for attention, if you live in the same house you can tell them. But did it happen if no one knows about it?

I don't mind the birthday thing, but in my age group I usually only see it between peers my age (college students). Personally, I only do birthday posts for my mom and two best friends, and my captions are usually "thanks for sticking by my side! Hbd". Although, if I find an embarrassing picture of my brothers I'll make a birthday post for them just to share it. 

[FleeJanaFree]

Ugh, birthday posts. My mom is the worst about this. She posts about people who aren't even on Facebook. And if they are on Facebook,s he'll make a status instead of putting in on their wall so evvvveryone has to read it.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

I was recently diagnosed with chronic dry eye disease (and it's bad). Anyways, seeing old pictures of myself on social media with makeup and no glasses and not a thought of pain is a trigger of mine to fall into a current state of depression. I don't take pictures with my husband anymore. I mostly just post pictures of the family dog now. 

[NotQuiteMotY]

17 hours ago, Greendoor said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLdzyShMW0Q

Please, please no.    Josiah pauses ummm when he finishes the names of his sister's who are mothers.

Jinger, I hoped so much you'd you have a year before you got on that road.

 

Maybe it was just having an awkward moment on camera? Some of the other kids "umm"ed a few times, too. 

Please, oh please...

[Bad Wolf]

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

Snip
Regarding messages to people not on Facebook, my aunt does that constantly. Problem is she thinks everyone automatically sees everything ever on the internet. I often think there may need to be an upper age limit. Or perhaps a tech awareness test for the over 70s in order to keep social media accounts.

I found this amusing, since I'm almost 70. What kind of test would you like me to take?

[louisa05]

@FleeJanaFree, that is my aunt. She also posts random messages to people not on Facebook as statuses about stuff like meeting them somewhere then gets offended when they don't see it or respond.

[2manyKidzzz]

I keep personal things totally off of Facebook since I have vicious crazy relatives. I do. My children are perfect but everyone doesn't need to know this. And today I picked up some windshield wiper liquid which I am going to ask my husband to fill that tank cause I know that is easier than talking to me endlessly. Ha Ha. 

[louisa05]

1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

I found this amusing, since I'm almost 70. What kind of test would you like me to take?

My uncle is 81 and has no issues using social media. His 74 year old sister on the other hand... And my dad was notorious for misinterpreting everything. My cousin posted once that she wanted to hit the club and shake her booty all weekend and dad called to tell me she was pregnant. I was shocked since she was like 45 at the time, unattached and strongly opposed to having children. Turns out that he interpreted the word "booty" as baby booties and took it from there. Why a pregnant woman would want to take some baby booties to the club and shake them, I don't actually know. 

My aunt simply doesn't understand how it all works. She thinks everyone can see everything on Facebook whether they use it or not. She thinks that everyone's Facebook feed is the same as hers. She also doesn't always know where she is posting things. She once posted what she thought was a status to tell everyone her husband was having surgery. No one saw it. She got angry that no one was concerned about this surgery. She yelled at my mom (who doesn't even use social media) for not seeing it and calling her. I went looking for any post whatsoever about it and after a lot of searching found it: she had posted it as a comment on a thread on the page of a local television station. Local to her, not the rest of us. She posted a happy birthday message for my brother on some random public page once, too. And she's not even friends with my brother. On top of that, she is in the "they can't put it on the internet if it isn't true" camp as well. 

[NakedKnees]

Did anyone else see Jeremy's Instagram post about his fire-breathing dragon socks? Am I reading a little too deep into this to think that's surprisingly un-fundie of him? What with the fantasy/magic of dragons, and the fire imagery... I feel like fundies like talking about "fire" in hypothetical terms, but I don't see pictures of flames associated with them very often.

Anyway, I kinda hate that I love his outfit.

[VelociRapture]

I made a slightly OTT post to celebrate my first Mother's Day. I referred to my baby as:

- sweet

- sunshine on a cloudy day

- the greatest gift

- a miracle

- my rainbow after the storm

I post like that occasionally, but not all the time. Usually it's a funny and witty caption - like how she can be a real baby before she has her coffee or something (note: put down the damn pitchforks, I don't actually give her coffee!) I also post more photos of her to Instagram than Facebook and some of those feature captions of just hearts or about loving her or something.

But Mother's Day was special. I spent it last year knowing I was pregnant with her, but not able to openly celebrate because it was so early on. I was also dealing with a lot of fear and anxiety that I would lose a second pregnancy and then she was premature on top of all that. Some people probably got annoyed that it was so gushy, but those people likely don't know all of what we went through before having her. So those people can go suck a big bag of dicks. 

The way I see it, my social media is for me to share what I want. Same goes for other people. If someone annoys me I either hide their stuff or unfriend them completely. I haven't had much of an issue with people OTT oversharing all the time though, but I definitely get how that could be super obnoxious.

[MadeItOut]

Yup - totally for sharing what you want ...and also, crucially, there's a lot of truth in that thing folks say about 'never the B-side stuff'. 

 

Why not gush a little over raptorlette once in a while? After all, the world could stand a hefty dose of lovely or six...

[divadivine]

I gush and share all the "On this day" memories about my goddaughter. She's not in Facebook- she's only 5. But her Mom gets to read them and people get a kick out of them because the child is adorable & smart. #notbiased Plus, it gives her Mom the chance to save all the videos & photos she lost when her phone went stupid and erased everything (backup to the Cloud ppl.) (side note- I have very strict settings on my social media because of bat shit crazy relatives... so only my friends see my posts.) 

I also post/share crazy stuff my college students do- because they interact with me on social media. One of our students graduated last week & had bunch of photos taken with the two things that got her through her undergrad- a McDonald's McChicken sandwich and sweet tea. Very clever & very funny! She's a character & it fit her personality. 

[Glasgowghirl]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

I made a slightly OTT post to celebrate my first Mother's Day. I referred to my baby as:

- sweet

- sunshine on a cloudy day

- the greatest gift

- a miracle

- my rainbow after the storm

That sounds beautiful and not OTT, I'd prefer that than parents who don't care about their kids. Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.

On the subject of people broadcasting their relationships online a girl my sister went to school with made a post a few weeks ago about how happy she was to be single even quoting Beyoncé with all the single ladies. Only to announce an engagement the next day. 

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

I have two cousins who always post  about how in love with their hubbies they are, and put expensive, pinteresty pictures from professional photographers of their kids on Facebook (and not just once a year for a holiday photo, either...literally they will hire professional photographers four times a year to come out and take family pictures.) In one cousin's case, I don't think her life is unhappy so much as she's just hyper materialistic and obsessed with "keeping up with the Joneses" to impress the other adults around her. The other cousin's husband has had affairs with hundreds of women, so its definitely over-compensation, in her case. No bueno.

Jinger's post, on the other hand, is definitely just her being the in-love teenager with her husband that she never got to be when she was younger. Her post reminds me of the notes my first real boyfriend used to write me on his xanga when I was in High School. 

[marmalade]

22 hours ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

Yes, Joe and Josaiah have filled out a bit, and the howlers sure are growing up. Where's JD?

JD was flying the Smuggars to Florida with a little pitstop in Nashville to pick up a couple Bateses who were all seen mingling with the Websters at some point. 

[justodd]

8 hours ago, SuhrEnity said:

Especially when they do it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY

I have a friend who, as far as I can tell, does not know how to date without immediately assuming it's ZOMG TRULUV4EVA!!! She's in her mid thirties and has been married at least twice (I think three times) - one of which took place on their fifth date. Within days of meeting someone, she's constantly posting about how they're such a great partner and how happy she is...then seems shocked when they inevitably tell her she's smothering them and moving way too fast.  She recently pouted in a not so subtle way about how she'd expected "something special" during the birthday trip she got from her current victim boyfriend, because apparently a week at Disney World isn't special at all. They've been together for less than a year and she documents damn near every moment of their lives. 

Part of me wants to warn anyone she gets involved with. Another is just bitter that she keeps finding these suckers while I've been single for the last six years. 

[Shadoewolf]

I keep one FB account just for status on my kids. Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles, and long distance friends know thats where current updates and pics are. My own is reserved for super cool kid moments, new dishes my hubby creates, venting and photography shots but not always in that order.

[Flossie]

13 hours ago, justodd said:

Part of me wants to warn anyone she gets involved with. 

I've got a cousin that had that happen to her, but she deserved it.  She'd been after this one guy off and on for a few years, but she could never get him to commit.  One day it happened, they reconnected and soon he was inviting her and her daughter to live with him.  My cousin was overjoyed, because this guy was a pretty good guy with a good job and a nice house.  

Then we found out how she managed to land him.  She used his concern for his aging mother against him.  She came up with the idea that if he moved his mother in with him, as he'd been wanting to do, she'd stay home and watch his mother.  He had to travel often for his job, so he knew he could get someone for the weekdays, but he wasn't sure what to do when he'd have to fly out suddenly or go on one of his week long business trips.  My cousin had met his mother many times, and had always been nice to her, although she privately didn't like the woman that much.  Her boyfriend didn't realize my cousin's true feelings toward his mother; so he liked the idea, his mother liked the idea, and they started making plans to get things started.

But what my cousin was actually planning to do was to make her boyfriend's mother miserable during the day, and then start taking her to an Assisted Living facility in the next town that had a day program for people to come to.  The idea was that if Grandma came every so often, she'd get to know the place, the staff, the other residents, and if Grandma couldn't live at home anymore she'd find it easier to acclimate to the facility.  My cousin was already thinking of excuses to drop her boyfriend's mother there a couple times a week and then move her in permanently the next time he went on a business trip.  She really thought he'd be fine with it when he found out.

We don't know who, but someone let the boyfriend know what was planned.  He went straight to my cousin's house to talk to her about it and found the brochure, a list of prices for services, and a rental agreement on her kitchen table.  He broke up with her on the spot.

[louisa05]

The one couple we know that is OTT about their perfect marriage and perfect child on Facebook pays their kid to smile for pictures. We have witnessed this multiple times. He is 10 and they have been doing this since he was around 4. When we have witnessed them paying it has been when he is mad about being wherever we all are and pouting and throwing tantrums. Then mom or dad wants to commemorate the event and hands him some coins (and now bills) to get him to smile. He would pocket the money, smile big for the camera, then go right back to being mad at everyone. Then, inevitably, the picture would appear on Facebook with a gushing caption about how excited he was to be wherever and what wonderful family memories they were making and how thankful they are that they get to spend time with him and that they have a such a loving happy family. 

So when they post happy family photos of any sort or basically any picture of the kid, we assume that he was just paid to pose. Her self-congratulatory Mother's Day post included pictures of the kid posing happily with her. She wrote about how she is such a wonderful mom and is so great at creating wonderful family time and that is why the kid is such a perfect accomplished child. 

@VelociRapture That is what I am talking about. I assume that in posting about your daughter on Mother's Day you did not say or imply that it is your personal greatness that has made her a wonderful, beautiful baby. And, sadly enough, I have at least two social media friends who do that every damn Mother's Day along with the standard "because I am a mother I am superior" nonsense. They also do it on their children's birthdays. A former student of mine posted pictures of her toddler daughter on Mother's Day and posted about how lucky she is to be blessed with her. That is not OTT and does not bother me. 

[ak1188]

I keep personal things totally off of Facebook since I have vicious crazy relatives.

THIS. Although in my case it's coworkers more so than family, my family is just nosy. But people in my department scour social media looking for anything to talk about and it's so petty. I rarely post anything personal because I don't want my life or the people I care about to become something that other people ridicule just because they're bored. Some people will fuel the fire by liking or commenting on the posts by the people who are always OTT, which makes the poster look for even more attention by posting more. It's straight up mean.

[MargaretElliott]

I kind of view these posts the same way I view PDA. A quick smooch is fine, but making out in front of people will probably make them uncomfortable. A sweet post is cute, but paragraphs and paragraphs about your soulmate/one true love and how perfect they are and making it super gushy and mushy is a little over the top. This is especially true with fundies, because they don't get to know each other super well before marriage and the list of "good" traits is much shorter than ours, so the compliments are usually super vague and impersonal. That's what makes their statuses so cringey for me- all women are just beautiful and sweet and great wives/mothers and have hearts for the lord, and that's it. They're not described as funny, or clever, or self-sufficient, because those aren't good things in their eyes. So every status fundies post could be about... well, anyone.

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

      

@VelociRapture That is what I am talking about. I assume that in posting about your daughter on Mother's Day you did not say or imply that it is your personal greatness that has made her a wonderful, beautiful baby. And, sadly enough, I have at least two social media friends who do that every damn Mother's Day along with the standard "because I am a mother I am superior" nonsense. They also do it on their children's birthdays. A former student of mine posted pictures of her toddler daughter on Mother's Day and posted about how lucky she is to be blessed with her. That is not OTT and does not bother me. 

Well, I mean, I don't HAVE to state that my personal greatness is responsible for my baby being awesome. People should just know that. I mean, it's kind of obvious. 

And just to be clear: I meant anyone on my Friend list being annoyed by it can suck a big bag of dicks, not anyone here. Unless they want to. I don't judge. 

@2manyKidzzzOne reason I tightened my security settings and have been conservative about sharing things concerning my daughter is because of my MIL's extended family. She's awesome and adores our baby... but husband's immediate family had a big falling out with her parents and siblings. 

Husband thought his settings were fine, especially since he unfriended those family members (I blocked them - momma don't play games.) Imagine our surprise when he sees his Grandma has shared a photo he had used as his profile picture stating how excited she was he was a dad.

Only problem was it was clearly a photo of husband with our nephew. Who she isn't related to. Husband was pissed. I was close to apoplectic. Mostly because she clearly did it to get a response out of husband (he was smart enough not to take the bait.)

Needless to say, he tightened his security up and that's taken care of the problem for the most part. We still have shared connections with them, but we've done what we can and we can't just avoid mentioning her (neither of us feel that's the right option for us.)