Counting On: Season 3, Part 2, Different Show, Same...

[Audrey2]

On January 27, 2017 at 10:10 PM, Phoenix said:

Snip

Why are Jill and Jessa both going on and on about how much more challenging it will be to have gasp, two babies instead of one? They each had more than two buddies to be responsible for in their own family. 

 

I finally caught up with this thread again, so this is from a few pages back.

 

I think having two babies will be more challenging for Jill and Jessa. When they were sister moms, little buddies were rotated amongst four girls, so for your sister mom family, you'd have a little more natural spacing, as is common in smaller families. For both of them, they will have a child in the 1-2 year age range, with all of the challenges that entails, plus an infant. They also wouldn't have had to care for a newborn, because Michelle, supposedly, was their buddy until they were six months old. I think it will be eye opening for both Jill and Jessa. 

 

Also, at some point, they won't have extra aunts to be shipped off to help them. We know the Duggar house will soon be down to Jana + the four youngest girls to care for the house and the boys. (Yes, that was disgusting to write.) At some point, I think there's going to be a scarcity of extra hands, as more older sisters are married, their children are either sister moms or too young to be, and the younger girls have more responsibilities at home. 

[BlessaYourHeart]

17 hours ago, VeganCupcake said:

 A TICKETED wedding! I've never heard tell. I understand not everyone can afford catering; in that case it's better to do a brief non-mealtime wedding. 

A tricky etiquette case I've run across is the issue of inviting faraway family members. According to "proper" etiquette most say that their rooms should be paid. My cousin couldn't afford this so the out-of-towners had to pay for their own hotels. I personally think it would have been in better taste for her to have the wedding occur where most of her friends/family live. 

She also did not invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner, which I've heard you should do even if they aren't in the wedding party. 

I've never heard of the 'etiquette' of paying for faraway wedding guests. Every wedding I've been to that involved staying away, everyone paid for their own room. The bride and groom usually only pay for their parents rooms if they can. In fact the hotel we're currently looking at gives the parents rooms and bridal suite complimentary in the package. 

Your comment about better taste sounds very judgey and pretentious. If the couple wanted their wedding where it was that should be all that mattered. After all it is their day and choice. Also not everyone has the money for large rehearsal dinners or to pay for loads of rooms. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 1/28/2017 at 8:46 AM, RosyDaisy said:

Personally, I find it beyond rude to make your wedding guests pay for their meal at your reception. Just plain rude.

I agree if you can't afford to have a lavish wedding, don't have one. While I realize that many here find a cake and punch reception abhorrent but where I live they are perfectly acceptable, especially when it is stated on the invitation, then you know what to expect.  

[MarblesMom]

19 hours ago, VeganCupcake said:

A tricky etiquette case I've run across is the issue of inviting faraway family members. According to "proper" etiquette most say that their rooms should be paid

I am in favor of this, but I invited out of towners to my wedding, they figured it out somehow.  I never thought of paying for their rooms! (They could have stayed at my empty house....)

I am spending way too much to get to distant weddings (that double as family reunions). Not begrudging the wedding itself, but perhaps the couple could pick a central, easily accessible venue for ALL distant family members, rather than indulging your local parents...?  

The next wedding we are going to, only the bride's parents are actually local.  EVERYONE else (including the bride and groom) are traveling to a really inconvenient spot.

[RosyDaisy]

You have to do two ceremonies? Here, you can do a religious wedding or a civil ceremony but don't have to do both. I have never known of anyone having to do it twice. That kind of sucks. I find it kind of thrilling that you are watching these people go from being considered single to married right before your eyes. 

My husband and I only had one ceremony. We met all of the legal requirements for the State of Alabama, and we are legally married as well as in the eyes of God.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

I just need to get this rant out. I was watching Sister Wives tonight and was truly appreciating how well TLC and the Brown family are showing Mariah's coming out. Then, the first commercial during a break was for Counting On, and I wanted to throw my glass at the TV. Ugh. Rant over.

[just_ordinary]

8 hours ago, socalrules said:

You have to do two ceremonies? Here, you can do a religious wedding or a civil ceremony but don't have to do both. I have never known of anyone having to do it twice. That kind of sucks.

Only if you want to have a wedding in a church (synagogue, mosque, temple,...). The religious part is obligatory. 

 

[VeganCupcake]

5 hours ago, BlessaYourHeart said:

I've never heard of the 'etiquette' of paying for faraway wedding guests. Every wedding I've been to that involved staying away, everyone paid for their own room. The bride and groom usually only pay for their parents rooms if they can. In fact the hotel we're currently looking at gives the parents rooms and bridal suite complimentary in the package. 

 

Dont the parents traditionally pay for the whole wedding, if they can afford it?

[Percy]

In Australia the average cost of a wedding is about $40,000.00.  In the past the grooms side paid for flowers, drinks and cars.  Now, I am told, the brides parents are expected to pay for it all.

We do not have the tradition of a rehearsal dinner, or for paying for visiting guests accommodation. 

You can have either a religious ceremony or a visit to the court house ( beautiful venue in this town), both meet the state requirements.

I have taken to whispering 'elope' around my girls.

The reality will probably be that we will contribute what we can afford ( not $40,000) and they can choose how they spend it. ( I will be whispering 'house deposit).

[DaniLouisiana]

DD first wedding was in the park and we paid for the minister (SB-ugh) and most of the refreshments + SIL chef did the cake. Dad gave her away. If she ever marries again-we will fork up as only girl. Kiddo will probably never marry and Bigfoot is already married and he damn well better keep my DIL because she is awesome! There will be a condition for paying next time though(please don't hate me/send me to the closet!) its my turn to to "give her away"!!! I carried her for 9+months& I have the scars to prove it. I will make sure that this time guy/girl is going to be good for my child/grandboy. No drunks, no fundies(lite or otherwise) need apply. I think I need a longer questioner than JimBoob..... 

[BlessaYourHeart]

3 hours ago, VeganCupcake said:

Dont the parents traditionally pay for the whole wedding, if they can afford it?

Traditionally yes. But nowadays a lot of couples pay for their own wedding 

[Carm_88]

2 hours ago, BlessaYourHeart said:

Traditionally yes. But nowadays a lot of couples pay for their own wedding 

I like that better. You can keep your parents out of it as much as possible and aren't forced to invite ridiculous relatives that you don't know or don't want to know. My Dad has hinted that when the time comes the smartest thing is to find an island, get married there, and then have a party!

[front hugs > duggs]

We largely paid for our own wedding. In laws paid for our DJ and also gave a very nice gift. My mom unfortunately passed away a couple of months before our wedding  but I used some of the little money we received from her for the flowers, because she used to be a florist and I thought that was a special way to honor her. We paid the rest, and definitely went into some debt doing so. A large part of why this happened was because my dad kept saying he would give us money and contribute, and then just didn't. So we started saving too late since we were relying on him and it fell through. He is however giving us alittle bit of money to help us pay our bills. 

I know many people here did smaller, more intimate weddings (court house, etc). and while that probably would have been the "smart" decision in many ways, I kind of had a really tough upbringing. I had two very selfish parents who really never put us kids first. I really wanted a day that was allllll mine (shared with the hubs, obviously). Tens of thousands of dollars for one day just to be the center of attention, which in general I don't like being? I logically understand how insane that is. But the day was beautiful, and despite many hiccups (mostly due to hurricane matthew, thanks a lot mother nature!) I don't regret any of the money we spent to make it exactly how we wanted it.

[jcanglin991]

I completely understand and I'm glad you had a beautiful day with memories you cherish in place of the bad ones. Who's to say what the best use of your money is. I'm the type of person who prefers experiences to things so I think you made a good decision. I hope you got great pictures.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

18 hours ago, socalrules said:

You have to do two ceremonies? Here, you can do a religious wedding or a civil ceremony but don't have to do both. I have never known of anyone having to do it twice. That kind of sucks. I find it kind of thrilling that you are watching these people go from being considered single to married right before your eyes. 

In the US you don't have to have 2 ceremonies, it is all done either in a religious or civil ceremony as long as the officiant has the legal right by that state to marry people all you have to do is get the marriage licence (you and your intended spouse)  wait the required waiting period (usually around 72 hours)  do what ever you want sign the paperwork the officiant files it and BAM your legally married. 

[Four is Enough]

We had a small wedding. It was my second, his first. We lived in a town 60 miles from his hometown, and 70 miles from mine. We got married where we lived. Parents, godparents, grandparents, siblings, and their families, and a FEW close friends were invited. They were fed a decent meal in a restaurant, and (gasp!) had to pay for their own drinks. I did this mostly to discourage drinking, as they all had to drive back home!

 

I don't get the mob weddings that last several days in a "venue"... I'd rather have just the people who are important to me and be done with it.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

56 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

We largely paid for our own wedding. In laws paid for our DJ and also gave a very nice gift. My mom unfortunately passed away a couple of months before our wedding  but I used some of the little money we received from her for the flowers, because she used to be a florist and I thought that was a special way to honor her. We paid the rest, and definitely went into some debt doing so. A large part of why this happened was because my dad kept saying he would give us money and contribute, and then just didn't. So we started saving too late since we were relying on him and it fell through. He is however giving us alittle bit of money to help us pay our bills. 

I know many people here did smaller, more intimate weddings (court house, etc). and while that probably would have been the "smart" decision in many ways, I kind of had a really tough upbringing. I had two very selfish parents who really never put us kids first. I really wanted a day that was allllll mine (shared with the hubs, obviously). Tens of thousands of dollars for one day just to be the center of attention, which in general I don't like being? I logically understand how insane that is. But the day was beautiful, and despite many hiccups (mostly due to hurricane matthew, thanks a lot mother nature!) I don't regret any of the money we spent to make it exactly how we wanted it.

No one needs to explain having a big and or lavish wedding. If you can afford and want to do it, do it. don't let anyone make you feel bad for having that. I personally didn't want a big wedding but allowed my mother to bully me into one, it was for her not hubby and I we wanted the $10k my dad was gong to give us to elope, but at the time it was easier to cave into my mom, I didn't grow a back bone until about 2 years later, after I had my 1st child, once that happened bitchy momma bear came out and she is FIERCE!  At bridal & baby showers that I go to they usually have a box where you write down bits of advice for the bride or mom to be and I always tell them; do it YOUR way, its your day or your baby, don't let anyone guilt you into doing things you don't want to do or out of things you do want to do. 

 

[eveandadam]

Quote

buzzard wrote:

I'm sticking this here so I dont forget it, but this may warrant its own thread.  I rewatched last week's episode and jinger refers to the mechanic pastor as "Pastor Caldwell."  Google brings up Paul Caldwell of Lighthouse Baptist Church.  The images appear to be the same guy... but here's the kicker

http://www.nwahomepage.com/news/knwa/church-pamphlet-offending-some-residents

This MF sent people DOOR TO DOOR to hand out pamphlets "clarifying" the truth about how God feels about LGBT people... The images of the pamphlet are in the link.  This dude is a massive douche! How appropriate that not only is he chummy with the Duggars, but they're pimping him on the show!

Really TLC?  You cant even air a "clean" episode without allowing them to include some sort of hate message?

is paul caldwell the father of kendra caldwell who is supposedly in a courtship with joseph?

if this is true, then Jb is really trying to take over nwa, isn't he?

[Four is Enough]

They lost me at "there is no such thing as homosexual, but we love the LGBT community"...

[BeaSnarky]

18 hours ago, paulypepper said:

We can only hope he's listening to Megadeth, Pantera, Iron Maiden or heck...even ABBA....

Sadly, they are noise cancelling headphones.

 

But I prefer to think he's listening to the Village People as a Giant FU to his parents.

[Bad Wolf]

We love the LGBT community, but you're going to hell. Makes sense to me. 

[Archer]

3 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

We love the LGBT community, but you're going to hell. Makes sense to me. 

Considering what horrible examples of Christians these types are, I'm sure they'll get to meet me and my fellow gays down there.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

Billy Joel had it right. "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun."

[Carm_88]

I'd rather be in hell with my friends, we'll have a good time. 

[BlessaYourHeart]

10 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I like that better. You can keep your parents out of it as much as possible and aren't forced to invite ridiculous relatives that you don't know or don't want to know. My Dad has hinted that when the time comes the smartest thing is to find an island, get married there, and then have a party!

Me too! 

My mum said she'll pay for my dress because I'm her only child and she wants to contribute something but that the dress will be my choice. We have similar taste anyway so I don't mind her having an input in my dress choice as I'll probably agree with her anyway. 

But we won't get married until we can afford to pay for it ourselves and have the day that we want with the people we want.