Michael and Brandon Keilen- Part 2

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

On 1/28/2017 at 2:29 PM, Exjw2015deed said:

It was weird. Michael said, so after 6 months I went to a doctor. She didn't say what was said. I'm sure she probably has fertility issues and can do treatments and that's what they're praying about. I bet  they don't have great insurance or the money to pay for such expensive treatments. Again this is my guess. Her and Erin have completely different issues. Regardless I'm sad for her.

I was going to mention this, actually. We are undergoing fertility treatment and are thankful every day that we have a good insurance that covers it almost entirely (co-pays per visits as well as prescription drugs are minimal).

However, looking at the cost of these treatments without insurance, it would be a prohibitive undertaking - I am talking thousands of dollars per (egg)  pop - sorry, pun intended 

I think the cost without insurance would be prohibitive for many people (us included), let alone under-employed and under-educated fundies. 

[GoneDownTheRabbitHole]

Just watched the most recent episode. I thought it was interesting how Brandon, about having kids, said, "I hope it's not no for always, but life isn't about accumulating as many things as you can; it's about seeing the value in what you have."  I know they are super entrenched in the cult, but I liked that he at least intimated that when you have eleventy kids that is could turn into just trying to have as many as possible.

 

Maybe this experience could be a wake up call and if they eventually go on to have kids, they'd value them more and be compassionate vs having sister moms and everything. 

[JesSky03]

Waiting one year is pretty standard. I have a strong family history of PCOS and I still couldn't get my OBGYN to do bloodwork on me 9 months after a miscarriage (though I likely don't have PCOS thankfully, but I still wanted to get checked). 

[HereticHick]

On 1/29/2017 at 11:37 AM, Mela99 said:

Actually since they live in Illinois they have mandated IVF and infertility coverage. So if that's the case they're in a great state for it

Brandon works for Gothard. Do we really think that Gothard offers anything other than Scamaritan?

[Pasta]

He may have insurance through the affordable care market. What's nice about them living away from her parents is that no one is close enough to pop in and see BC or anything so they could be talking the talk but walking a different route. That's what I'm hoping for

[Fun Undies]

On 1/30/2017 at 3:05 PM, JesSky03 said:

Waiting one year is pretty standard. I have a strong family history of PCOS and I still couldn't get my OBGYN to do bloodwork on me 9 months after a miscarriage (though I likely don't have PCOS thankfully, but I still wanted to get checked). 

I hope if you do end up getting tested Jess, that it's good news!  And I'm sorry for your loss :/

Because I have a genetic condition and my OB didn't know anything about it, I was referred to a specialist after my miscarriage - we had only been trying to get pregnant for two months when we did, miscarried 2.5 months later, and saw the RE basically six months into trying.  Luckily, even though there's a few genetic conditions on both sides, none should have anything to do with general reproductive health, so unless we miscarried again, there was no reason to worry.  I'm still grateful we were referred because really there was no reason to have done it, besides my OB not being familiar with my health conditions, and in the end it brought me great relief.

As for Michaela, I'm sure it's already been suggested ~ but I got toddlers yanking on me so I didn't have time to go back more than two pages, but I wonder if Michaela's fuller face from the Xmas pictures, is her taking some hormonal treatments to help her get pregnant?  And I really do hope they tested both her and Brandon, and didn't just assume it had to be all the "woman's troubles". (Sidenote: my parents are a good example of this - in that my mother had permanent damage in her cervix from having had stage 3 cervical cancer.  And my Dad had low sperm count AND low mobility.  They needed fertility drugs to conceive me, but couldn't afford more to have more children.  Fifteen years later, our family grew via adoption <3)

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Hopefully they've gotten whatever treatment they need by now and they will look back on this as a God-given year alone together. If it's something easily treatable, they may be able to have a big family with reasonable spacing between the kids.

[Pretzel]

People here suggesting that they secretly take B/C seem to forget that Michael really wants to have children of her own (and, I assume, so does Brandon) and has stated so for years. They're definitely the couple least likely to take B/C. I also don't get any 'I'm glad we're not pregnant yet' vibes from Brandon. Just because he's shy and modest in his use of words doesn't necessarily mean he wants as few as possible and is glad about their (hopefully temporary) infertility. I guess he knew what he was in for when courting Michael, and if it wasn't his desire to start a big family with her he probably wouldn't have courted her at all. They both strike me as fundies who actually believe in 'waiting on God's timing' more than others, so of course they need to deal with the pain that comes with infertility. If you focus on what you have and show gratitude for it, the disappointment from TTC will much easier be dealt with than if you bemoan your current state.

[HereticHick]

In case you missed it, here is Michael(la)'s list of recommended books, from her replies on her most recent instagram post:

 

brandon_michael_jn15@happy_girl2911 

For all who asked here is a quick list of books that have impacted me. I don't remember the author names for all of them, sorry.

•Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Rose•Dietrich Bonhoeffer•Lords of the Earth by Don Richardson•Hudson Taylor•The Hiding Place•George Muller autobiography•Gladys Alward•Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot•George Washington Carver•Stonewall Jackson•Hymn histories•Lives of the Signers of the Declaration of Independence by Benson John Lossing•Bruchko by Bruce Olsen•My Upmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers•Jungle Pilot by Russel T Hitt•The Life of Adoniram Judson•

 

brandon_michael_jn15And here are a few marriage books that I love! Language of Love by Gary Smalley•5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman•Love Life for Every Married Couple by Dr. Ed Wheat•Secret Choices by Dr. Ed Wheat•The First Years of Forever by Dr. Ed Wheat•Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot

 

----------------------------------------------------

Girl, you list bios of George Washington Carver and Stonewall Jackson next to each other? What the ever-lovin-f**k??

[formergothardite]

Gary Smalley worked for IBLP. Pretty sure Dr. Ed Wheat books are IBLP approved.  Elisabeth Elliot spoke at IBLP events. 

I"m not sure IBLP provides insurance. It just doesn't seem like something they would do. They have barely wanted to pay the people who actually work. 

No way they are secretly using birth control, these two are eyeballs deep in the cult. 

[JillyO]

Why the fuck do fundies constantly have to read books about marriage? I have never in my entire life read a single book about marriage and I'm pretty happily married so far. I'm not bashing people for reading advice books on marriage, just wondering why it is such a big fucking deal for fundies. Could it possibly be because they go into marriage without actually knowing the person they're marrying?

[formergothardite]

Even in my fundie days I though Passion and Purity was not any sort of good advice. Jim Elliot was a bit of an asshole. I still have my signed copy of it around here somewhere. 

[titerlitury]

I really want to see Michael happy and pregnant, and to see her family pampering her and tiptoeing around, after all these years she was main babysitter for young Bateseses. OTOH it's nice to know she is very into make her marriage stronger (even if it includes some creepy IBPL books)  and enjoy every moment with Brandon. I keep my fingers crossed for them.

[Fighter]

 is this cheese, pineapple, or flowers ? The world will never know! Have a great day everyone!

[nickelodeon]

On 2/8/2017 at 10:37 AM, formergothardite said:

Even in my fundie days I though Passion and Purity was not any sort of good advice. Jim Elliot was a bit of an asshole. I still have my signed copy of it around here somewhere. 

Spill a little tea, formergothardite, what did these books say?

Most fundigelical marriage books in my experience just repeat the same cringey gender-essentialist nonsense, but in different tones of voice... e.g. somber and pious; "keeping it real" (for the cool virgins); or in the style of your dad telling you that he's very disappointed and you're grounded.

[Mela99]

Bleaaughh, Ed Wheat is such a creepy doctor.....

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, Mela99 said:

Bleaaughh, Ed Wheat is such a creepy doctor.....

Is he the one who told the Duggars they may have been responsible for the loss of J'Caleb or the one who wrote the book given to Joshley on his wedding day?

[choralcrusader8613]

1 hour ago, Dandruff said:

Is he the one who told the Duggars they may have been responsible for the loss of J'Caleb or the one who wrote the book given to Joshley on his wedding day?

He's the wedding advice doctor. I think he might have even been Jim Bob's doctor.

[Mela99]

1 hour ago, Dandruff said:

Is he the one who told the Duggars they may have been responsible for the loss of J'Caleb or the one who wrote the book given to Joshley on his wedding day?

One and the same. @choralcrusader8613 is right, too. He was their personal doctor and they discuss himin the first book.

[Dandruff]

Is there a douchebag emoticon?

[formergothardite]

On 2/10/2017 at 3:04 PM, nickelodeon said:

Spill a little tea, formergothardite, what did these books say?

Passion and Purity is the story of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot. They met in college and Elisabeth was immediately attracted to Jim and they hung out together a great deal.  Eventually he confessed that he loved her, but told her he felt called to be a single missionary at least at first. So Elisabeth has to wait for God to tell him when he can marry her. This goes on for some time and she ends up moving to Ecuador to do  mission work. He is always sending letters saying he loves her and wants to marry her, but also that she needs to wait on God's time. So FINALLY after years of waiting he lets her know that God told him he can marry her. She is all excited, but then Jim is like "guess what?! I've come up with a rule that I can't marry you because you don't speak this obscure language." So she learns the language and he finally marries her. And then he promptly gets himself killed.

My initial impression after reading Passion and Purity as a teen wasn't that this was an amazing, godly love story, but that Jim wasn't nearly as into Elisabeth as she was into him, but he didn't want her to marry someone else.  He seemed to find any excuse not to marry her all while sending letters claiming he was passionately in love with her. The main lesson I learned was that I wouldn't want to fall in love with someone like Jim. 

 

[Lurky]

32 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

My initial impression after reading Passion and Purity as a teen wasn't that this was an amazing, godly love story, but that Jim wasn't nearly as into Elisabeth as she was into him, but he didn't want her to marry someone else.

Haven't we all had someone like that in our lives?  Ugh, sending love to my 20 year old self, dealing with the person who played "push-you-away, pull-you-close" with me - and to a couple of guys I know, who really suffered from that (at least I saw through it early...)

[season of life]

Michael seems too in love with babies to not be upset over not having their own. I think she and Brandon are enjoying their marriage, but both are aware everyone else are having kids and they aren't.

[kinphilly]

On 1/25/2017 at 4:30 AM, Melissa1977 said:

 

More thoughts about the picture: the 2 youngest are Ok but the 2 eldest are not properly dressed for Chicago weather. Their jackets are thin and one seems to be wearing one of Michael's scarfs so I suppose he has not his own scarf. So Kelly and Gil can travel to Australia and enjoy themselves and not only they leave 5 kids to her daugther, but also they leave them bad equipped for the winter.

We live outside Philly.    My similar age son has multiple coats, multiple hats, dozens of gloves ... but it is PULLING TEETH to get him to wear them ... so maybe these are just warm blooded always on the move boys

[Pretzel]

On 12.2.2017 at 3:36 AM, season of life said:

Michael seems too in love with babies to not be upset over not having their own. I think she and Brandon are enjoying their marriage, but both are aware everyone else are having kids and they aren't.

It sounds nice that they're enjoying some peace and quiet together, but I'm pretty sure that after one and a half year of being alone together enjoying peace and quiet and reading books to each other, they wouldn't mind having a child of their own and I can't blame them for that. It's a natural desire, and it's sad that they can't have the children they obviously want to have. If she got pregnant now it still would be over two years of being just the two of them. Not a lot for a normal couple but a great deal in No/BC fundieland. It must be very frustrating to see her siblings get pregnant on the spot (Whitney and Alyssa at least). Erin did struggle initially but she got pregnant fairly easily, and once they detected the clotting disorder it was a lot easier for her to stay pregnant. There's a lot that can be done to sustain a pregnancy but the hurdles it takes if you can't get pregnant in the first place are very high.