Jinger and Jeremy: Love and Marriage

[DaniLouisiana]

Even when they get to be 'adults' that last one still gets babied. As in I went and got my 'baby' who is 24-years-old because he was in a large scary very dark house with no power. Granted it was mainly because he has a crap immune system And my deceased bil creepy druggie friends still come around...but he is my baby.

[missegeno]

...
As for sending to the whole family thing.. maybe what the poster meant was for the adult children they all get their own invite? In my family, all the kids are grown up, but not necessarily married or even moved out. But lately, I've been getting my own invite to weddings (even family weddings where my parents were also invited) because I think it basically recognizes me as a separate entity from my parents. So, in the case of children like Jana, JD, etc, it would follow that they would get their own (and therefore, provide their own gift)... I've noticed that my age cohort has been getting separate invites and thank you's and the like. 

Except that the unmarried adults aren't considered a separate entity in this case. Jana sleeps in a room full of little girls and lacks the autonomy enjoyed by nonfundie girls her age. It would be weird if this was the one occasion where she is seen as an adult of her own accord.

[elliha]

6 hours ago, twinmama said:

lol The second they say "hey stop coming in here at 3am" I will happily sleep all night  

And I have to say I am reaping what I have sown when one of my 5 year olds whines and cries about how he just can not put on his own sneakers when I know full well he does it without hesitation during school! 

My daughter was not my last nor a preemie/NICU baby but she still gains and loses abilities at different times. "Put your socks on" "I caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't!!!" "Yes, you can, put them on." "I have tried and tried and they still don't come on." "The socks are still bunched up the way the are in the closet so I know for a fact you have not tried to put them on." *Loud scream* "Are you going to go barefoot outside in winter or put them on?" "No" "OK, barefoot it is." "Noooooo" "Put them on then!" *puts socks on while giving me dirty looks*

Thankfully she has discovered that she can show off to her baby brother by dressing herself so now she gets dressed while showing him and explaining the process. The same works for brushing her teeth. My daughter would have been killed in a Pearl-family and so would I, we are both extremely strong willed and our showdowns are not pretty all the time. It helps that I see she is just like me, I used to have scream fests with my dad who was a man even grown ups were afraid to anger but I had a fit if he tried to do anything I found disrespectful. I have a strong memory from when I was 4-5 being so upset with him and screaming at him and my brothers more or less hiding from him (they are 10 and 13 years older than me) and laughing at him for being told off by a preschooler and being left speechless.

[nastyhobbitses]

4 hours ago, grandmadugger said:

I've always wondered if some of the material things we see the kidults with aren't attempts to keep them in line. I just find some of the things JD has odd for the family. 

I'm fairly certain that all the nice houses and fancy weddings are JB's way of keeping the kids under his control. I want to imagine that Jinger said "I want this gorgeous expensive dress and this extremely well-coordinated, tasteful wedding. You will not cheap out on this. And why not? Because if I don't get to have one goddamn day that's just mine and lets me do what I want for one goddamn day, I'll go off-script during one of my talking heads. You know full well that I can and you can't stop me, and you know full well that I know way more than what you revealed to the tabloids to get them off your back. What'll it be, nice wedding for the ratings, or more damage control?"

Of  course, Jinger's too meek and beaten-down to even think of using her family's dysfunction as leverage (I'm sure Jessa's cunning and self-serving enough to do it, though); more likely it comes from the other side: "You want to leave? You want out? Fine. Have fun without all of these beautiful houses and cars and clothes I give you. Have fun without my checkbook that is the only thing sustaining you. You think you can strike out on your own? You're nothing without me. You'd wither and die without me." Jim Bob may play the big smiling buffoon on TV, but I think he's probably a scary motherfucker in private.

[RabbitKM]

4 hours ago, missegeno said:

 

Except that the unmarried adults aren't considered a separate entity in this case. Jana sleeps in a room full of little girls and lacks the autonomy enjoyed by nonfundie girls her age. It would be weird if this was the one occasion where she is seen as an adult of her own accord.

 

Oh absolutely I realize that. I was just using the Duggars as an example of a family with older kids and younger kids. I doubt that the kidults in Gothardland get their own invitations to things, I was just saying that it would be normal to do so.

[Cassia]

15 hours ago, elliha said:

My daughter was not my last nor a preemie/NICU baby but she still gains and loses abilities at different times. "Put your socks on" "I caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't!!!" "Yes, you can, put them on." "I have tried and tried and they still don't come on." "The socks are still bunched up the way the are in the closet so I know for a fact you have not tried to put them on." *Loud scream* "Are you going to go barefoot outside in winter or put them on?" "No" "OK, barefoot it is." "Noooooo" "Put them on then!" *puts socks on while giving me dirty looks*

Thankfully she has discovered that she can show off to her baby brother by dressing herself so now she gets dressed while showing him and explaining the process. The same works for brushing her teeth. My daughter would have been killed in a Pearl-family and so would I, we are both extremely strong willed and our showdowns are not pretty all the time. It helps that I see she is just like me, I used to have scream fests with my dad who was a man even grown ups were afraid to anger but I had a fit if he tried to do anything I found disrespectful. I have a strong memory from when I was 4-5 being so upset with him and screaming at him and my brothers more or less hiding from him (they are 10 and 13 years older than me) and laughing at him for being told off by a preschooler and being left speechless.

You may have solved my problem!! I have a just turned 4 year old boy and he has NO interest in dressing himself. Like, none - he doesn't care enough to be bothered to try. It drives me nuts!

But this is genius! He has a 1 year old sister he loves to show off for and I think this might work to get him dressing himself. I'll be trying it out at bedtime tonight!!

 

[sansan]

On 11/20/2016 at 4:00 PM, weirdemmaline said:

When I was in college for graphic design, they basically told us we could use as many fonts as we wanted-- within reason-- but at most two font "families". Anything more than that really starts making things look cluttered. 

My husband plays with a bluegrass jam when he really gets in the mood to play with a group and they have a web page about Bluegrass jams in our area. I doubt that anyone has ever seen a more busy (visually) site. It makes my eyes cross just looking at it. There is probably at least 8 fonts and several different sizes. As a new person looking for jams and finding that site.....I would run for the hills. All that being said, Jinger and Jeremy's wedding invitation looks down right adorable.  No, he's not a Bluegrass nerd but sometimes needs other people to play off of.

[Georgia3112]

Did anyone see on duggarfamilyblog the article about the music performed at the wedding?

"The rendition played at Jinger and Jeremy's wedding was arranged by Page CXVI, Jeremy's favorite band. They performed it live."

They really stepped up their game with this wedding on many levels (comparing to other Duggar weddings I mean).

Sorry if it was mentioned before.

[Iokaste]

6 hours ago, Georgia3112 said:

Did anyone see on duggarfamilyblog the article about the music performed at the wedding?

"The rendition played at Jinger and Jeremy's wedding was arranged by Page CXVI, Jeremy's favorite band. They performed it live."

They really stepped up their game with this wedding on many levels (comparing to other Duggar weddings I mean).

Sorry if it was mentioned before.

I couldn't help noticing that too. I wonder how the already married ones feel about Jinger getting this really nice wedding as compared to the cheapest possible version, that still looks good on TV (with the reservation that I haven't seen anything from the reception, so don't know if this was another parking lot social). Especially Jill who didn't even have a properly fitted dress.

[ophelia]

I guess Jilly has her head too far up in her ass to really care, but I can see Jessa feeling a little bit jealous.

[LadyCrow1313]

On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2016 at 1:46 AM, DaniLouisiana said:

Even when they get to be 'adults' that last one still gets babied. As in I went and got my 'baby' who is 24-years-old because he was in a large scary very dark house with no power. Granted it was mainly because he has a crap immune system And my deceased bil creepy druggie friends still come around...but he is my baby.

You're a good Mom, @DaniLouisiana.  

I'm the baby of the family (youngest of three), & we have a running joke about that. Every so often, we'll drive each other crazy; ie, "Give the baby some food", "Where's my baby sister", "Be nice to your baby sister", & most of the time it's funny.

My niece (chronologically speaking that is) is the youngest person in the family; she'll chime in about being the baby herself.  

[nst]

2 hours ago, Iokaste said:

I couldn't help noticing that too. I wonder how the already married ones feel about Jinger getting this really nice wedding as compared to the cheapest possible version, that still looks good on TV (with the reservation that I haven't seen anything from the reception, so don't know if this was another parking lot social). Especially Jill who didn't even have a properly fitted dress.

is that perhaps she didn't have a properly fitted dress because she lost so much weight before the wedding?  Because I seem to recall ti fit when she tried it on? 

and if it didn't fit why would she not have it altered 

[Queen]

On 22 november 2016 at 3:30 AM, Dandruff said:

I'm wondering whether the buddy teams will remain essentially intact over the years, or if the various kids will gravitate toward non-buddy siblings.  Also, I can't imagine the entire family getting together every year for Thanksgiving at the TTH, especially when there are several dozen more in-laws (and their families) and children to factor in.  Will they alternate years so that approximately half of the clan is present each year?  Will Jed and Jer choose their buddy teams or each other to go on mission trips with?  Will any of the kids stay in touch with Josh, for other than family gatherings?

Or will half of the children "magically" have only 1-3 children? "God putting on their heart" to not have a bazillion of kids or maybe not even get married?  

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, nst said:

is that perhaps she didn't have a properly fitted dress because she lost so much weight before the wedding?  Because I seem to recall ti fit when she tried it on? 

and if it didn't fit why would she not have it altered 

I think she had some alterations to meet modesty standards. I remember the dress looking nice on her in the dressing room, but not so much on her wedding day. The dress was unflattering to Jill's mid section- I'm not sure if it was d/t to the alterations or not. 

[VineHeart137]

2 hours ago, nst said:

is that perhaps she didn't have a properly fitted dress because she lost so much weight before the wedding?  Because I seem to recall ti fit when she tried it on? 

and if it didn't fit why would she not have it altered 

I think it was Jessa who lost weight before the wedding, the top of her dress looked a bit more loose than it could have been. Jill had hers altered to be more modest and I think the alterations are what messed it up.

[Carm_88]

1 hour ago, VineHeart137 said:

I think it was Jessa who lost weight before the wedding, the top of her dress looked a bit more loose than it could have been. Jill had hers altered to be more modest and I think the alterations are what messed it up.

And Jinger's was way better than both of them. So it's good that she learned from their mistakes. 

[flycat]

Some of why Jinger had a nicer wedding could be that when Jessa and Jill got married, they had two weddings to pay for that year while Jinger was the only one to get married this year.

[Georgiana]

Jinger has always been more of her own mind than her sisters.  We have our name because it was traditionally JINGER who displayed the most unique and individual opinions, interests, and reactions.  Michelle may call her a follower, and perhaps she is in some regards, but Jinger has always made efforts to stand out as her own individual person (lately, largely in her fashion choices) where as the other older girls have always sort of tried to "blend together".    She may have been a sheep, but she was at least the sheep who was wearing a gaudy headband.  

It's sad to me to see the way Jinger has changed over the years, but the one (and possibly vain) hope I have from this wedding is that Jinger has not LOST herself, but rather found more "approved" methods of expressing her personality.  Her wedding certainly stands out, and I hope that Jeremy continues to support Jinge in making choices that are different from her sisters'.  

While I don't have any reasonable expectation of J+J becoming less fundie, I do hope that they embrace their individual selves, encouraging their children and siblings to do the same, and realizing that as there is no "cookie-cutter" model of a perfect Christian:  allow their family to do away with petty rules (like no pants), embrace and develop individual interests, and maybe even (stretch goal here!) make decisions based NOT on what JB and M did, but upon what is RIGHT for their family (dare I hope for REAL school?  enrollment in sports for the kids?).  

A girl can hope  

[justmy2cents]

3 hours ago, Georgiana said:

While I don't have any reasonable expectation of J+J becoming less fundie, I do hope that they embrace their individual selves, encouraging their children and siblings to do the same, and realizing that as there is no "cookie-cutter" model of a perfect Christian:  allow their family to do away with petty rules (like no pants), embrace and develop individual interests, and maybe even (stretch goal here!) make decisions based NOT on what JB and M did, but upon what is RIGHT for their family (dare I hope for REAL school?  enrollment in sports for the kids?)

I think there's hope for enrollment for sports, at least for any boys they may have.  I have less hope for school though.  Jeremy was homeschooled til last 2 years of high school.  At that point he started partying and supposedly getting in trouble.  This may influence him to be more strict rather than less.  If they at least limit the number of children they have then those kids have a better shot at a more normal life.

[CorruptionInc.]

11 hours ago, Iokaste said:

I couldn't help noticing that too. I wonder how the already married ones feel about Jinger getting this really nice wedding as compared to the cheapest possible version, that still looks good on TV (with the reservation that I haven't seen anything from the reception, so don't know if this was another parking lot social). Especially Jill who didn't even have a properly fitted dress.

I think Jill would definitely be jealous, but try to deflect it. She's not doing a very good job though as she kept bringing up her own wedding on Jinger's day. 

I am really hoping the wedding is better due to Cindy's input and her saying to Jinger or Mullet: please let me help instead of that Sierra woman. I'm sure she would've said it in a round about way IF she felt that way. 

[SassyPants]

The wedding was probably better because Jeremy's family had $ome input.

Jessa didn't care about her wedding beyond the dress...she just wanted what came after the wedding.

Jill and Derick are wannabe hippies- they had the wedding of their dreams.

[JesusCampSongs]

1 hour ago, justmy2cents said:

I think there's hope for enrollment for sports, at least for any boys they may have.  I have less hope for school though.  Jeremy was homeschooled til last 2 years of high school.  At that point he started partying and supposedly getting in trouble.  This may influence him to be more strict rather than less.  If they at least limit the number of children they have then those kids have a better shot at a more normal life.

I could see them sending their kids to a private conservative Christian school, perhaps one that's affiliated with a church Jeremy pastors or one that the grandparents Vuolo would be willing to pay for, and having the boys play club sports. It wouldn't be that much of a step up from homeschooling, educationally speaking, but at least there's socialization and structure involved as opposed to the insular chaos Jinger grew up with. 

I also suspect the Websters will do this, as well, out of a combination of keeping up appearances for politics' sake and Alyssa not wanting to deal with homeschooling. And, again, there are well-heeled grandparents involved who'd probably be willing to foot the bill.

[donnal]

16 minutes ago, JesusCampSongs said:

I could see them sending their kids to a private conservative Christian school, perhaps one that's affiliated with a church Jeremy pastors or one that the grandparents Vuolo would be willing to pay for, and having the boys play club sports. It wouldn't be that much of a step up from homeschooling, educationally speaking, but at least there's socialization and structure involved as opposed to the insular chaos Jinger grew up with. 

I also suspect the Websters will do this, as well, out of a combination of keeping up appearances for politics' sake and Alyssa not wanting to deal with homeschooling. And, again, there are well-heeled grandparents involved who'd probably be willing to foot the bill.

I was just thinking the same thing-I could see them going the "church school" route. Definitely not a normal education,  but at least some interaction with the outside world.

[wandering woman]

13 hours ago, Iokaste said:

I couldn't help noticing that too. I wonder how the already married ones feel about Jinger getting this really nice wedding as compared to the cheapest possible version, that still looks good on TV (with the reservation that I haven't seen anything from the reception, so don't know if this was another parking lot social). Especially Jill who didn't even have a properly fitted dress.

TLC pays for the weddings, so the daughters know that JB doesn't have much to do with it all.  TLC probably gave Jinger a nicer, more tasteful wedding for ratings.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I don't think Jinger had a "better" wedding than Jill, just a different one. Jill & Derrick had a very shabby chic meets boho wedding.  Jill's ill fitting dress was I thought done because of modesty, they can't wear anything form fitting.  I know many gripe about the cake and punch repetition, but it is a perfectly legitimate reception. (I'm not talking about the parking lot that is tacky)  The colors and accents she put into it were very sweet, and it fit their hippy life style perfectly. I can't see Jill wanting the details Jinger had, it wasn't her style. 

Now Jessa, that is another story, her wedding looked like a cheap quickly thrown together after thought.  Jess got the short end of the stick in husbands, weddings and homes.