Duggars by the Dozen- Part 23: Even more Duggary

[sansan]

10 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

What @Palimpsest said above. Thread drift is allowed and happens without time limits. 

You're free to nudge the thread back to the stated topic at any time.

I get it, I get it. I'll tell my fingers to hush.

 

[SamiKatz]

1 hour ago, Malizabeth said:

So do we know anymore about #20?  Does a permanent guardianship preface an adoption?

I'm not sure about Arkansas laws, but I would assume the Duggars couldn't adopt the kid unless the parent(s) either gave up their parental rights, or the courts took them away (which can take years).  

My friends were foster parents and with their first group of kids it took at least five years for the parents to lose their parental rights and the children could have been adopted.

[Four is Enough]

We were fostering to adopt with Three and Four, and the state still had custody of them. Once their parental rights were terminated, we moved to adopt them. At no time until the adoption did we have "permanent" custody of them.

 

As far as the thread drift, it really made me think. The Duggars have no bedding to speak of. No extra pillow in case you want to cry yourself to sleep, even over a sad song on the radio or a sad ending to a book. No big fluffy blanket to nestle into with the kitten. Nothing that is theirs alone. No Privacy whatsoever. 

 

That struck me really hard when I was reading it (for the umpteenth time. I'm slow, I guess) Can't be in the bathroom too long, luxuriating in a nice hot shower or long bath. Can't make a fort of the bedding to read a book a little longer with the flashlight. Can't . Can't . can.t

 

I cannot fathom that. How stultifying.

[Coconut Flan]

It puts some of the clinginess in perspective also.  Some of those kids have never really been alone.  They may have had a few minutes by themselves in the bathroom, but there were still a dozen or more people in the house.  The first hour alone after their husband goes to work the first time after the wedding may pass OK as they can clean up the house or apartment, but after that growing up fundie and always one of a crowd what would they do the rest of the day until time to make dinner?  Would they think they could go back to bed, take a walk on their own, search whatever they want on the internet?

[Audrey2]

9 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

It puts some of the clinginess in perspective also.  Some of those kids have never really been alone.  They may have had a few minutes by themselves in the bathroom, but there were still a dozen or more people in the house.  The first hour alone after their husband goes to work the first time after the wedding may pass OK as they can clean up the house or apartment, but after that growing up fundie and always one of a crowd what would they do the rest of the day until time to make dinner?  Would they think they could go back to bed, take a walk on their own, search whatever they want on the internet?

Exactly. I know we've been snarking on Jill and she shower rack incident, but I think this played into her reaction. She was never alone for any length of time until she was married. Growing up in such a bustling household, especially with the brothers she did, I'm guessing someone was frequently crashing, but it was always because of the boys. I think it really freaked her out because she was raised that the outside world was bad, so, when there was an unexplainable noise, she reverted to fear, instead of checking things out, as most of us would have done. Plus, living where she did, a crash like that could have more sinister possibilities for her than for many of us living in the U.S. or Canada. 

 

 

Also, with the bedding discussion, besides that sadness about not being able to snuggle, it would also be difficult (and cold) in case of a prolonged power outage, as they had after the ice storm. For those of us without fireplaces or generators, we'd probably say, "Oh crap" if we had a cold weather disaster like that, and go to the closet/ cedar chest for more blankets. I wonder if the Duggars have blankets for these emergencies, or if they'd expect the kids to just sleep cold. 

[MargaretElliott]

@Four is Enough, I learned a new word! I'm going to try to used "stultifying" in conversation as soon as I can.

And could someone remind me- do all the kids sleep in their clothes? Imagine how horrible it must feel sleeping in jeans (I change into yoga pants as soon as I get home). What about the girls? Isn't a large, shapeless nightgown that could have come from Little House on the Prairie modest enough? They have blankets, and I suppose it's common knowledge that women don't masturbate (sarcasm). I suppose Boob and Ofboob obsessively control their children's sexualities in different ways, depending on their sexist roles. Seriously- no pjs? No blankets?! I just think their views on human sexuality are ridiculous and harmful, and they're really damaging those kids. But we all knew that here of FJ, anyway.

[BabyBottlePop]

1 hour ago, MargaretElliott said:

And could someone remind me- do all the kids sleep in their clothes? Imagine how horrible it must feel sleeping in jeans (I change into yoga pants as soon as I get home). What about the girls? Isn't a large, shapeless nightgown that could have come from Little House on the Prairie modest enough?

I've read speculation on here that they sleep in their clothes because the cameras are often around. Unknown men might see them in their nightgowns! 

[Coconut Flan]

I think we may see some reenactments also so of course they are dressed in street clothes for those.  No defrauding or camera glimpses allowed.

[ClaraOswin]

4 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Me three! My ex- was a past master at cover stealing, including comforts. I like my comfort now because it's under a stiff-ish,  heavy quilt. 

Until yesterday, to me "duvet"=the removable cover on a comforter! Never too old to discover something new. 

Knock me over with a feather (comforter), @ClaraOswin!  I'd've never guessed Nebraska.  It gets so miserably hot here in Arndt-land that a comfortable 60 in the winter is unthinkable in the summer. The power bills would be through the roof. 

We're in the sub-tropics, climate-wise. One hears a lot more about whole-house DE-humidifiers than the other way round. 

I learn something new *every* day, thanks to my FJ pack!

Why wouldn't you have guessed Nebraska?

We get pretty hot and humid here in the summer. We actually turn off the humidifier and have to turn on a dehumidifer in our basement during the summer months. For whatever reason, our house can't seem to be in a good range for humidity. It's annoying. Our bills are pretty high (probably? Not really sure what other people pay) but I don't mind paying for comfort.

[FlamingFundie]

Any chance someone who has been able to watch the past few seasons of Duggar-TV can put some context down for me with this picture? A friend showed it to me and now I'm curious.......

 

[Carm_88]

17 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

I'll be the lone dissenter. I DESPISE duvets! 

Also there with you! (I know back off topic, sorry!) 

 

23 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

I think we may see some reenactments also so of course they are dressed in street clothes for those.  No defrauding or camera glimpses allowed.

I agree. They are mostly reenactments. I don't think that Boob would be letting people in the house at night interrupting his and Michelle's sweet fellowship.  

[MamaJunebug]

48 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

Why wouldn't you have guessed Nebraska?

We get pretty hot and humid here in the summer. We actually turn off the humidifier and have to turn on a dehumidifer in our basement during the summer months. For whatever reason, our house can't seem to be in a good range for humidity. It's annoying. Our bills are pretty high (probably? Not really sure what other people pay) but I don't mind paying for comfort.

I was guessing a place with no or very mild winters. The west coast, the southeast. 

[BabyBottlePop]

46 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Also there with you! (I know back off topic, sorry!) 

 

I agree. They are mostly reenactments. I don't think that Boob would be letting people in the house at night interrupting his and Michelle's sweet fellowship.  

I wonder if some cameramen from TLC ever interrupted some afternoon delight... Yuck! 

I could even see Boob trying to get caught. 

[Carm_88]

7 minutes ago, BabyBottlePop said:

I wonder if some cameramen from TLC ever interrupted some afternoon delight... Yuck! 

I could even see Boob trying to get caught. 

I mean he did  so I wouldn't be shocked. But still 

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, BabyBottlePop said:

Ive read speculation on here that they sleep in their clothes because the cameras are often around. Unknown men might see them in their nightgowns! 

I've figured it took away the need to launder PJ's and nightgowns. Play in clothes, sleep in them, shower and toss the last 24 hours' outfit in the wash, put on the next 24 hours'  outfit. No intermediate outfit involved. Cuts laundry by at least a third, eh?

As for sleeping in jeans with uncomfy waistbands, no Duggarling save Josh has gotten plump, AFAIK. And they could always undo the waistband button without much notice from their minders ... keepers ... siblings.  

And the older Duggarettes have gone so far as to take EMT training in nasty (MO) long skirts; why would sleeping in them be a problem? 

Nah, I think it's laziness. On Meechelle's part, at least to begin with. 

Thought of something else: given the parents' disdain for other people's time and disregard for schedules, it benefits them to have NO time at which a child needs time to change into street clothes.

Say it's Monday morning and you've been in your current outfit since Sunday morning. You've all overslept and Sister-mom is overwhelmed -- you can get into the van for the trip to wherever without it being obvious that you didn't wake up in time, and go.

Whereas if you wore nightclothes to sleep in, you'd have to take time to change or be changed. 

Presto. 

[nomoxian]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

I think we may see some reenactments also so of course they are dressed in street clothes for those.  No defrauding or camera glimpses allowed.

They are kids. It's not like they are wearing lingere. I doubt the Duggar parents even own any (sorry for any thoughts I have planted in your head!)  I can kinda understand them thinking regular PJs might be "defrauding" what with contrasting buttons on the bosom - oh wait; that was the other crazy fun*die* family. But can't they wear sweat pants and a baggy shirt or hoodie? For scenes in the bedroom where they aren't under the non-existant covers they can wear a robe on top of that.

[Bad Wolf]

On the moving in episode, one of the boys had a footed sleeper and one of the girls had a cap like Liitle House on the Prairie.

[Coconut Flan]

You're thinking like a non-Duggar again. 

10 minutes ago, nomoxian said:

They are kids. It's not like they are wearing lingere. I doubt the Duggar parents even own any (sorry for any thoughts I have planted in your head!)  I can kinda understand them thinking regular PJs might be "defrauding" what with contrasting buttons on the bosom - oh wait; that was the other crazy fun*die* family. But can't they wear sweat pants and a baggy shirt or hoodie? For scenes in the bedroom where they aren't under the non-existant covers they can wear a robe on top of that.

 

[nomoxian]

1 minute ago, Coconut Flan said:

You're thinking like a non-Duggar again. 

 

Guess I need to spend some time in the prayer closet!

I just thought - one reason why the kidults might be unnerved by being alone is that the only time they were probably by themselves, apart from a few minutes in the shower or toilet, was when they were *being punished* in the prayer closet. 

[ClaraOswin]

I know as adults, I've seen the older Duggar girls in pajama pants underneath nightgowns, I think. So I'm sure they've probably been wearing stuff like that for years.

[Londish]

Is it possible that getting the young children ready for bed was likely the responsibility of the sister moms, it was just easier to not worry about changing them for bed? I imagine it would be hard enough as teenagers/young girls to wrangle that many kids into bed without also worrying about changing them. And maybe it just became habit? I realize this is more about the younger kids not wearing PJ's, the older kids could have easily gotten themselves ready for bed. In every end, it really goes back to Michelle's laziness.

[BlackberryGirl]

Mattress cover, (bed sack)  fitted bottom sheet, extra size top sheet, well tucked in, thermal or fleece blanket, comforter. 2 pillows each, each with pillow protector and nice pillowcase. We keep our bedroom quite cool, and I like at least a sheet and comforter even in summer.  I used to have a few decorative pillows, but don't have the energy to deal with them. 

I don't personally know any  middle class people who don't have at least 2 sheets and a blanket on every bed. 

Even on  the kid's bunkbeds I TRY to keep them all made up with the full complement of  beding.

 

 

[Iamtheway]

Sleeping in my clothes would be both uncomfortable and unhygenic. And for me it would definitly make more laundry. An outfit I sleept in would need to be washed. An outfit I wore for a day where I didn't work up a sweat or spilled anything I would wear again. 

Also, pyjamapants are the best. I might have 20 pairs and change in to them as soon as I enter my house. Might. 

And then I change out of my afternoon pj:s and in to my night pj:s before I crawl in under my duvet. (Sorry, couldn't help myself. I've enjoyed this thread drift.)

[DaniLouisiana]

@MamaJunebug, I live on the inland West Coast and right now it is too much winter for me-40s-50s daytime is too cold. Give me the Southeast anytime (Santa, are you listening?). 

[LovelyLuna]

I stayed at my MIL’s house last night and I was reminded that I HATE when the covers are tucked into the end of the bed. for me its like torture.