Duggars by the Dozen- Part 23: Even more Duggary

[feministxtian]

11 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Re: downsizing: I SO want to. And I'm working on it. But every time I get one pile gone, another takes its place. I blame the Four. LOL!

Decluttering was impossible with kids. No kids...no junk! It all got sold, donated, sent home with the appropriate child or otherwise disposed of. We still have some stuff in storage because this place is VERY small (765 sq ft) and there are just some things I am not getting rid of...fortunately, we can rent a storage space right here in the apartment complex for 15 bucks a month. 

[evolutionbaby]

I have never been able to give any of my attention to flylady, as I found her "my way is the only way attitude" so cringeworthy. I find much of what may work for her utter useless nonsense. Instead remember my dear mother's most trusted advice: "Remember Ladies, housework can kill you when done correctly!" That's actually Erma Bombeck, but my mum's said that all her life.

Downsizing is really difficult but once you actually do it and learn how to do it properly, it makes life SO much easier and pleasant. Less organizing, less cleaning, and cleaning is much easier to do because I don't have to do any organizing before hand. The things I do own now are of much nicer quality and work for me much better. Even simple things, like I found a brand of socks and a brand of underwear that I love and only wear those brands/styles, and so my top drawer is much more organized than having a whole bunch of styles and different colours. All of my accessories fit into one single drawer. All of my toiletries fit in the medicine cabinet. I found clothes hardest to pare down, but I have a certain amount of coat hangers and if I can't hang something up I have to get rid of something rather than get more hangers. No more books than what will fit on the one bookshelf. There is a place for everything and each place must stay organized and I must own no more than what fits into that designated space.

That being said, I don't have kids so I imagine it would be harder to downsize with kids unless the kids were willing and motivated to downsize too. With little ones it might be an option to teach them the importance of living minimally over collecting stuff as a value to begin with, but it can be tough sometimes to make changes to an already established household dynamic.

[Seahorse Wrangler]

I was an active member of the old fly-lady forum but neither she nor her admins/mods were active there.

 

Then she started to shrill her husband's books and a country singer Eric Dodge(?) .

 

Recently, end of last year or the beginning of this, she went a bit loopy and demanded that all the public and private FB groups which used any of her fly-lady terms had to have her and several of her surrogates as mods or else they had to shut down. That went down well...

The last time I came across Marla she was telling all her acolytes to vote for the babies, regardless of any other concerns you may have had about the suitability of the various US presidential candidates.

[HurricaneBells]

On Friday, November 11, 2016 at 7:38 AM, HarryPotterFan said:

What if they get porn-y pop-up ads?

What if a Joshley Maddison ad popped up AHAHAHA!!!!

[Gossamer1]

7 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Decluttering: We went from a huge house to a little apartment. We had to get rid of probably 70% of our stuff. It actually feels liberating!

I didn't downsize but I did have new carpet installed yesterday. Everything from the family room and two bedrooms, including the entire contents of my closet, was moved into the living room. Holy crap I have a lot of stuff! I have already filled one contractor garbage bag with trash and another one with donations.  

I'm being very selective about what goes back into those rooms. I hate to admit it but, I have too many shoes. 

[ClaraOswin]

I missed the bedding conversation but I want to respond anyway....

Never in my 35 years have I owned a duvet/duvet cover. I guess I'm just not classy enough...ha! Growing up, I preferred only a comforter on top and a fitted sheet below. Sometimes I'd add a blanket. I hated a sheet on top of me. As an adult, I still do a fitted sheet (obviously) but now I like a sheet on top of me and then just a cotton blanket on top of that. I ditched the comforter all together. It just gets too hot for me. (I'd keep the house cooler but I don't want my son to get cold.)

Plus, sheets and blanket fit into my washing machine much better.

Oh...and underneath the fitted sheet is a mattress pad. I haven't seen anyone mention using those so maybe I'm the only one?

My sheet and blanket never slide off me during the night. Maybe I'm not a wild enough sleeper.

We don't make the bed every day. We just straighten out the sheet and blanket before we get back in at night. I don't like them being tucked in so there's not much to it. No one sees our room but us so who cares?

We stay in cheap hotels so the first thing we do is throw the comforter into the corner or somewhere because they aren't always washed between guests. Eww.

To those who use a bunch of thick blankets and things because their room is cold....are you not able to adjust the temp of your house? I am sure that is a dumb question but I just don't get it.

[Audrey2]

@ClaraOswin, put me on team mattress pad under the fitted sheet as well.

[marmalade]

1 hour ago, ClaraOswin said:

I missed the bedding conversation but I want to respond anyway....

Never in my 35 years have I owned a duvet/duvet cover. I guess I'm just not classy enough...ha! Growing up, I preferred only a comforter on top and a fitted sheet below. Sometimes I'd add a blanket. I hated a sheet on top of me. As an adult, I still do a fitted sheet (obviously) but now I like a sheet on top of me and then just a cotton blanket on top of that. I ditched the comforter all together. It just gets too hot for me. (I'd keep the house cooler but I don't want my son to get cold.)

Plus, sheets and blanket fit into my washing machine much better.

Oh...and underneath the fitted sheet is a mattress pad. I haven't seen anyone mention using those so maybe I'm the only one?

My sheet and blanket never slide off me during the night. Maybe I'm not a wild enough sleeper.

We don't make the bed every day. We just straighten out the sheet and blanket before we get back in at night. I don't like them being tucked in so there's not much to it. No one sees our room but us so who cares?

We stay in cheap hotels so the first thing we do is throw the comforter into the corner or somewhere because they aren't always washed between guests. Eww.

To those who use a bunch of thick blankets and things because their room is cold....are you not able to adjust the temp of your house? I am sure that is a dumb question but I just don't get it.

Yours comes the closest to mine. Except I have a 2/3 electric blanket (hubby sleeps warmer in winter, I'm seasonal...the blanket is for me in cold times). So, I'm 1)mattress cover 2)fitted sheet 3)top sheet 4)light blanket - I sleep with windows open almost year-round - which is electric in winter 4) light quilt. 

A couple of summers ago, the ocean off the west coast of the USA was unusually warm. Our overnight temps were in the mid 60's, which for my area is very high (average high in summer doesn't vary much, 72/56...September and October are our real summer). That summer? I slept inn babydolls with maybe the light blanket to start, with a fan. I was also menopausal, so take this with a grain of salt. Now that's a permanent thing, I seem to run hot and cold. 

For instance, tonight, it's about 50. I'm in bed, but the electric blanket isn't on. My windows are wide open. I like the breeze. I'm in a long-sleeved nightshirt, but the computer on my lap is making me warm, so my sleeves are pulled up. I hate shutting off fresh air, so I'll turn on the blanket before I close a window. Next week, we hit 40...almost frigid for us. I may have to just vent the window and use the blanket! Horrors!

[missegeno]

To those who use a bunch of thick blankets and things because their room is cold....are you not able to adjust the temp of your house? I am sure that is a dumb question but I just don't get it.

Mattress covers are nice, i just didn't mention them. As per temp, cold weather paired with budget rentals (where no amount of window covers and door liners sufficiently insulate it) mean I've never been able to keep a home as warm as would be comfortable to me during the winter.

[alba]

On 02/12/2016 at 0:11 AM, Iamtheway said:

Just want to say one more thing about duvet covers. In Sweden duvet covers have three holes. A big one in the bottom and two small ones on the top corners. That way you just put your hands through the top holes , hold the top corners of your duvet and pulls it up. Very easy. 

The duvet covers at Ikea in Australia don't have the top holes. Soooo annoying. 

Oh, on the topic of Swedish duvets:

Mr Alba and I went to Stockholm for our honeymoon. It was a beautiful city, we spent a lovely week there, but there were TWO duvets on our hotel bed. Do couples not share one big duvet in Sweden?

20 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

I liked flylady in theory. I used timers for my 15 minute bouts of decluttering, and that did work. (Pampered chef made a nice little timer that fit in a pocket or clipped to a belt. I had 4 of them)

I also liked the areas of concentration, but I have a large house, so "foyer" by itself is as large as a room, and yes, it gets full of stuff. It's like a giant closet the way we use it, so "foyer/living room/dining room?" couldn't be done in one day..

I had the opposite problem with FlyLady. We live in a 650 sq ft apartment. There are five rooms - 2 bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom and living room - as well as a narrow corridor. There are entire ZONES in the FlyLady system that don't exist in our flat (like the one that's your entrance, porch and dining room. I mean, we have an entrance, but there's nothing there TO tidy).

6 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

I missed the bedding conversation but I want to respond anyway....

Never in my 35 years have I owned a duvet/duvet cover. I guess I'm just not classy enough...ha! Growing up, I preferred only a comforter on top and a fitted sheet below. Sometimes I'd add a blanket. I hated a sheet on top of me. As an adult, I still do a fitted sheet (obviously) but now I like a sheet on top of me and then just a cotton blanket on top of that. I ditched the comforter all together. It just gets too hot for me. (I'd keep the house cooler but I don't want my son to get cold.)

Plus, sheets and blanket fit into my washing machine much better.

Oh...and underneath the fitted sheet is a mattress pad. I haven't seen anyone mention using those so maybe I'm the only one?

My sheet and blanket never slide off me during the night. Maybe I'm not a wild enough sleeper.

We don't make the bed every day. We just straighten out the sheet and blanket before we get back in at night. I don't like them being tucked in so there's not much to it. No one sees our room but us so who cares?

We stay in cheap hotels so the first thing we do is throw the comforter into the corner or somewhere because they aren't always washed between guests. Eww.

To those who use a bunch of thick blankets and things because their room is cold....are you not able to adjust the temp of your house? I am sure that is a dumb question but I just don't get it.

We do use a mattress pad, but I forgot to mention it XD

As for adjusting the temperature, no, not really. We have electric storage heaters in our flat, which kind of suck and basically have two settings: on and off (technically you can adjust them, but did I mention they suck?). You turn them on in the evening and they warm up overnight, when the power's cheap, then release heat during the day. This means that the bedroom is often FREEZING when we go to bed and then we wake up at 6am stuck to each other because we're sweating buckets. It's about as gross as it sounds XD

[Iamtheway]

2 hours ago, alba said:

Oh, on the topic of Swedish duvets:

Mr Alba and I went to Stockholm for our honeymoon. It was a beautiful city, we spent a lovely week there, but there were TWO duvets on our hotel bed. Do couples not share one big duvet in Sweden?

You can get big ones but I think two are the norm. And especially in hotels where the two people sharing might not be a couple.

We have two because I hate sharing. Mr. Way is really warm and he steals them. 

Glad you liked Stockholm! 

[alba]

10 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

You can get big ones but I think two are the norm. And especially in hotels where the two people sharing might not be a couple.

We have two because I hate sharing. Mr. Way is really warm and he steals them. 

Glad you liked Stockholm! 

Hah, yeah, that makes sense about hotel rooms especially!

There must be an art to snuggling under the separate duvets, though, because I would try to snuggle up to Mr Alba and end up exposed and cold *between* the two duvets.

[Gobsmacked]

Austria 25 years ago was the same. Two single duvets on a double bed. Mr G-S is quite tall so had to sleep in socks as they were never long enough for him.  We didn't find them that comfortable as they tended to slide off if we turned over when asleep.

Im with you ClaraOswin, I always take the comforter off our bed in Canada as I'm never sure when it was last washed!! The first thing I do when we arrive in a hotel room is fold it and put it away in the wardrobe.

 

 

[church_of_dog]

9 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

Oh...and underneath the fitted sheet is a mattress pad. I haven't seen anyone mention using those so maybe I'm the only one?

I tend to assume that in the USA at least, mattress covers are standard -- I could be wrong about that.  I use a wooly one that is thicker than most.  My pillows are also wool on the inside.  Wool is warming in cold temperatures but not too hot in the summer.  I use the mattress pad and the pillows year round.

9 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

To those who use a bunch of thick blankets and things because their room is cold....are you not able to adjust the temp of your house? I am sure that is a dumb question but I just don't get it.

I heat with wood, so yes, it gets colder indoors as the night progresses.  But my house is superinsulated -- essentially double what a typical USA house has for insulation in the walls and in the attic (and under the house), which means my house doesn't lose heat as fast as other houses during a cold outside temperature with no heat being added inside.  I don't normally get up and feed the fire during the night unless it is below zero F at night.

For example, last afternoon and evening, I had a fire, which kept the house in the upper 60s to around 70F.  If I had loaded up the stove at bedtime it would have gotten into the mid or even upper 70s for several hours which would be too warm to sleep comfortably.  So the house was around 70F at 9pm, then slowly cooled off during the night.  When I got up around 5:30am it was about 63F in the house -- not horrible, but definitely chilly.  But that was cool enough that in addition to my 2 heavy blankets, I added the down duvet for about the last 1-2 hours of sleep.  I also dress warmly when I sleep, in leggings, sweats, turtleneck, etc.  (This is for me alone in the bed -- another person's body heat would change it quite a bit and I would wear less and/or use less covers.)

For perspective, yesterday's high temp here was 38F and in the evening it dropped to around freezing, and then only dropped a few more degrees all night (it's about 27F right now as the sun is getting ready to rise).  For us that is a normal seasonal daytime temperature and then a relatively warm nighttime temp -- we usually have more variation in our daily high/low range than that.

[JMO]

I guess I've been doing some fly lady stuff without realizing. I try to tackle one small area at a time. I learned when my son was little to do things to match the microwave timer.  I live in a small apt and I need to declutter to make room for baby but it still seems overy helping.  I'm hoping I will actually nest this pregnancy and tackle it all. 

[Kittikatz]

LAMO at all the differences in bedding.

I have a heated mattress pad(which is only plugged in/on when I'm having back spasms or its exceptionally cold (like -20/-40 range) and the radiators just aren't up to it. On top of that I have a delightfully puffy/quilted memory foam topper, then fitted sheet, flat sheet, down duvet (although I am thinking of changing this to two because one of the fur babies steals blankets and winds up mounding them up for his own personal use), and a velux blanket. Additional similar items may be added if it gets super cold.

My building has hot water radiators and a thermostat in the hall, but I've never noticed the thermostat actually effecting temperature change. Most of the time the radiators are fine, but one winter there was air in the pipes and it got so cold a bunch of my house plants froze and the water pipes in neighbour's place ruptured. Since then, every winter I've had two supplemental electric radiators out and set to automatically turn on if the temperature inside my condo drops below 18/20C. The electric bills haven't killed me on months when they've been on a lot, so they seem quite efficient, and so much better than having cold intolerant cats and house plants freeze!

[imokit]

Regarding single duvets in hotels, I couldn't cope.  I'm one person and I need a double duvet, regardless of the size of the bed and have since I was small.  I need enough width to tuck it in around my shoulders.

I have on my single bed - a mattress pad, a fitted sheet, then a double duvet on top.  Cover gets changed with the sheets.

I tangle sheets and blankets and really can't cope in hotels/other people's houses (to the extent that my grandparents had to get me a duvet for their house - and then got converted and have many).  I think things get tangled because like with my shoulders I need to tuck it around my feet.   Anchoring the bottom around the mattress doesn't work.  So I untuck sheets so that I can tuck them around my feet and then it all goes wrong in the night if I move my feet/arms in my sleep.  With a duvet, you can kick a foot out and then retuck it in your sleep without things sliding around on top of each other.

[luxfilia]

15 minutes ago, Kittikatz said:

LAMO at all the differences in bedding.

LMAO off "Laughing At My Ass"

[WhyNotJulie]

Wait I may have missed it, it might have been discussed already  - the adoption of the Duggars' 20th child (aka Michelle's niece's son) has gone through and they're now his permanent guardians.

I just find it funny that he's STILL older than Josie, so she can remain the youngest & favourite child.

[Kittikatz]

@luxfilia so glad you enjoyed my early morning typo 

[MamaJunebug]

41 minutes ago, WhyNotJulie said:

Wait I may have missed it, it might have been discussed already  - the adoption of the Duggars' 20th child (aka Michelle's niece's son) has gone through and they're now his permanent guardians.

I just find it funny that he's STILL older than Josie, so she can remain the youngest & favourite child.

Well, I might have missed it too, but I just spent more time than I expected to, reading about others'  bedding preferences, and reminding myself to continue my never-ending (but very satisfying!) eternal effort at decluttering ... on to Tyler.

Will they rename him Jyler?  Will he choose to take a new name (I vote for Julius) to signify his new and forever life as a Duggar?  Will he continue to go to public school - as I'm guessing he did - or enroll in the SOTDRT?  Who's left to be his buddy? Please not Jana (unless she wants him).  Please let it be a Lost Boy Duggar.  (I can't remember their names. I'm still trying to remember where I put the one Xmas décor item is that I really want to use.  Sad commentary, eh?)

To the bedding discussion.  I have a really fabulous mattress-heating gizmo that generates warm or cool air. 

Thing is, I haven't been using it because the zipper that holds its covers together is broken.  I thought about ordering more long zippers and having a drapery maker sew them on .... but then I remembered: Snaps!!! 

I already have a snap thingy to install them.  Inherited it either from my da or my ex, never knew what it was 'til I started googling snaps. Talk about serendipity.

It'll take a couple dozen of the things and heaven knows how long before I learn how to install them, but at least I won't have to leave it with a draper.  It's getting cold here and sleeping without it, I realize how much I depend on it!

[Coconut Flan]

The Duggars have guardianship but have not adopted Tyler.

[samurai_sarah]

11 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

(snip)

To those who use a bunch of thick blankets and things because their room is cold....are you not able to adjust the temp of your house? I am sure that is a dumb question but I just don't get it.

I don't think it's a dumb question at all. Of course I could adjust the temperature, but I'm used to sleeping in a chilly bedroom. For me, it's a leftover from the days when it was a silly waste of fuel to heat an entire house, never minding that often you could only heat one or two rooms.

Even though my parents had central heating, staying over at my grandparents meant grabbing a hot-water bottle and diving under some heavy-duty duvets as quickly as possible.

Sure, I could heat my home to a temperature where I'd just need a thin blanket. But why would I? Fuel is expensive, I've already got the duvets, and that's what I'm used to.

[JesusCampSongs]

Not sure how this works in Arkansas, but where I live (North Carolina), it is rare that child protective services will request that family court terminate a child's parents' rights to him or her if they are placed in kinship guardianship. What typically happens is that, once a child is formally placed in guardianship via court order, CPS may do check-ins for 3-6 months, and then close the case. If the biological parents want access to the child in the future, they will have to petition the court. As long as the guardians have good boundaries with the parents, this is usually a big enough hurdle to where abusive, neglectful, etc. won't be able to re-enter the child's life unless they've taken steps to resolve whatever issue got the kid taken away. 

This is usually for the best, as TPR proceedings are extremely unpleasant for everyone involved and are (rightly) only used as a last resort. 

[MamaJunebug]

@JesusCampSongs, interesting & enlightening,  thanks. 

 

@samurai_sarah and @ClaraOswin, exactly about staying warm overnight. In addition to the expense, heating the whole house has a drying effect on everything - furniture, wood construction components, and (worst of all IMHO) sinus membranes. No fun waking up with a crackly, bloody nose!!

In addition to the heating pad, I run a cool-mist vaporizer. Helps whether I've set the temp at 60F or 55F!!

Clara, honest Q: where do you live? I remember years ago when Gilmore Girl chatters were asking why the characters wore winter coats, unbuttoned. Turns out they were folks who'd never experienced winter weather!  It tickled me to realize there are such, right here in N. America !