Dilldereal 18

[Karma]

I remember with #1 because we went to a sleep clinic for 4 nights to get help with her sleeping through the night - she was waking and feeding a few times at night when she was 9 months old.  They said that she didn't need the nutrition, she was just using it as a soothing tool.  I couldn't tell you exactly when #2 stopped, but I think around 3 months.  He didn't sleep thru the night consistently till 5 years though  despite visiting the same sleep clinic.  Little details do blur over the years and I'm glad I did keep baby books - eg my mum couldn't even tell me if I crawled, let along how old I was.

[VelociRapture]

4 hours ago, Karma said:

I remember with #1 because we went to a sleep clinic for 4 nights to get help with her sleeping through the night - she was waking and feeding a few times at night when she was 9 months old.  They said that she didn't need the nutrition, she was just using it as a soothing tool.  I couldn't tell you exactly when #2 stopped, but I think around 3 months.  He didn't sleep thru the night consistently till 5 years though  despite visiting the same sleep clinic.  Little details do blur over the years and I'm glad I did keep baby books - eg my mum couldn't even tell me if I crawled, let along how old I was.

There's a lot wrong with modern technology usage, but this is one of the great things about it. My sister will always have a short video of her son crawling for the first time - she'll always be able to tell him how old he was (a few days short of 6 months), where they were (home), and what he was crawling towards (the dog.) It's so cool to think he'll be able to see that when he's older or that my soon-to-arrive daughter will have photos and videos to look back on too.

My mom didn't have that technology, but she manages to remember a lot of it somehow. I honestly don't know how she remembers details from 30 years ago. And what she doesn't necessarily remember she likely jotted down somewhere. 

[Karma]

I kept a baby book for the first five years, so have lots of details recorded for my kids, but yes, the modern technology is fantastic.  There's an app called photo 365 which I'd definitely have if I had a baby now - imagine taking a photo of their face very day and being able to scroll through a year and see them growing.  That'd be so cute.  I didn't even get a digital camera till my kids were 7 and 4.

I do have video of my kids on vhs, and on the camcorder tapes. This was going to be the year I converted them to digital, but it hasn't happened yet.  I haven't seen that footage in years!

[karen77]

12 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

How can you guys remember when you stopped night feeding? I seriously have no idea. I probably wrote it down somewhere but off the top of my head....no clue.

About 14 months with both kids (one formula, and one nursing) Neither slept though the night much before a year.

[Gobbles]

According to my parents I slept trough the night after two/three weeks. I was formula feed. Now that I have to get up once a night to help my Grandpa my mum values me sleeping trough the night so early a lot more. I told her to be really grateful about that and what great baby I was. Haha! (At least they had a easy to handle baby to make up for the mess that followed with me growing up and my Autism.)

[ClaraOswin]

I have a baby book that I still haven't filled out.

But I do have a blog (which no one reads...ha!) where I have kept track of milestones and other various things. I also write things in a notebook a lot now so I can keep track of progress with his speech therapy and PT and whatnot. It's hard for me to notice his improvements since I see him every day. So writing it down helps. And I am trying to take more videos. Right now I mostly just have short videos on Instagram. And I take photos daily.

I wish I had this many photos and videos of my childhood. It would be fun to look back on.

[bal maiden]

On 23 August 2016 at 1:13 PM, ksgranola1 said:

What does Jessa mean, "I love the night feedings." I hope she's still not night-feeding him. First off, he'll be as big as a house if he's eating table food now & I hope he is, & good for Derrick for recognizing that he can be carrying zika in his sperm& it can take 6 months for that to clear. Hope they have a test for that. Sounds like they got some solid medical advice.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeding your child at night at Spurge's age, and beyond. 

[jacduggar]

On August 23, 2016 at 3:31 PM, imokit said:

This - We don't know how much J-Slave help Jessa has had, the family will never admit to it, but we can expect some.  We do know that its been Jill & Derrick and a baby for months at a time in a foreign county with minimal support.  Jill & Derrick have actively parented without back up.  How much of an impact that has had on her we don't know.  Nor do we know how fundy Derrick really is, he seemly converted to marry Jill (and I believe that real), but life can make him dip out again.  As one of two kids he has to know his parents used birth control, to him it can't be evil if his mother used it, because he likes his mom.  With Jill's traumatic birth & zika around he may have swayed slightly.  Interesting that he pegged Jinger as next pregnancy, not himself, despite knowing that its going to be a wait for Jinger to set a date, have a wedding and then conceive.

They may well have come back for a pregnancy but they may still be waiting the required few months for potential zika to get out his system.

Only time will tell...

I agree with you. I also want to add:

1) I think Jill and Derick are really in love. Not fundie love, which is what I suspect of Josh and Anna, and Jessa and Ben. I think their relationship is much more of an equal partnership. I think if Derick suggests something about BC or about having another child, Jill is really going to listen to him and respect him. I think Jessa really could care less what Ben thinks and Ben is not educated enough to know anything different anyway. 

2) They spent a lot of time away from the TTH. They spent most of that time just being together and talking. I think Derick probably opened Jill up to some ideas she wouldn't have been exposed to in Arkansas because Derick was her actual headship. 

I said it in the Jessa thread, but I don't believe Derick is a moron. He's a sheep, sure. But I don't believe he would put Jill or an unborn child in danger by impregnating her. From day one he's been very, very involved in being Jill's partner and being a father to Izzy. Derick has lost a parent, I doubt he is willing to risk his children being without a parent just to please JB and fill his quiver. 

[Melissa1977]

I've nursed my little one at night for 2 years. Now he's not nursing at night but he still wakes up at night sometimes. It's normal. I think most people have too high expectatives about babies and toddlers sleeping, and they become easily frustrated when a 3 months old is not sleeping all throught the night. So normal babies with normal sleeping suffer hard trainings in order to make them sleep as a book says they must sleep. I know it's hard to wake up at night, but hey, parenting is not like having a Furby.

It's absolutely normal that Spurge needs night feedings and I'm happy he's not Ezzo trained.

[imokit]

Babies and toddlers have shorter sleep cycles than grown ups.  Sometimes during the transition between 1 cycle and another people and babies wake up.  In an adult this normally means rolling over and falling straight back to sleep again.  The younger you are the less able you are to do it.  Its absolutely appropriate to tend to your child in the night if they wake up and gage whether its hunger (especially in a baby who may have eaten really well in the feed before the bedtime one, and thus been too full to eat as much at bedtime and thus will get hungry in the night) or comfort.

Gradually as a baby get older, they wake less, and start transitioning from needing food to comfort.

Even children don't sleep through the night every night, or should a child having a nightmare not be tended to, because they're too old to get up in the night.

[KnittingOwl]

On August 17, 2016 at 10:12 PM, Adrienne83 said:

That's what I said to my husband. I'd love to have as much time as possible to set up services. Even something mild is still an issue, and it's much better to get in that line early. I wonder how many fundies realize that. I'm a SAHM, but in my past working life I was a social worker, and my husband is a nurse. I saw, and he sees all the time how long medical thing took/take. Better early than late in thoNot gonna lie, I'm actually looking forward to the genetic testing next time. I'll be at the age when they recommend/offer it no matter what your previous history is. I/we have none, but I want to find out what I'm having super early like that. I've had HG with both pregnancies, so I assume I will next time. I look forward to having as much time as possible to get things ready. I'm a clearance shopper and always on the hunt for weather and size appropriate clothes.

I wish you were around when my daughter needed an IV last year. She was 3, dehydrated, and terrified. I had to hold her down while three different nurses tried to get a line started. They eventually gave up and transferred DD to the children's hospital. Fortunately the peds nurse put numbing cream on her arm before trying again and ice on all the failed tries. 

[formergothardite]

On 8/23/2016 at 4:13 PM, ksgranola1 said:

What does Jessa mean, "I love the night feedings." I hope she's still not night-feeding him. First off, he'll be as big as a house if he's eating table food now & I hope he is, & good for Derrick for recognizing that he can be carrying zika in his sperm& it can take 6 months for that to clear. Hope they have a test for that. Sounds like they got some solid medical advice.

I take that as a good sign she isn't using harsh baby training. Plus, night feeding at that age isn't some weird thing. 

[VelociRapture]

28 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I take that as a good sign she isn't using harsh baby training. Plus, night feeding at that age isn't some weird thing. 

Same. Not sure if she's still night feeding right now or not. I'm pretty sure the article said those comments were made back in May (Spurgeon would have been six months at the time) - so she may still be doing the feedings or he may have grown out of it one way or another at this point. If he did grow out of it then hopefully it was just a natural development and not something they forced on him. My nephew is six months and hasn't really woken up during the night much for a few months now, so it's entirely possible (and his parents definitely aren't complaining. Lol!)

[Palimpsest]

On 8/23/2016 at 3:31 PM, imokit said:

 As one of two kids he has to know his parents used birth control, to him it can't be evil if his mother used it, because he likes his mom.

No he doesn't.  Unless his mother told him she used birth control he has no way of knowing.

Not picking on the poster I quoted, but there seems to be a misconception here that unprotected sex always results in pregnancy so Fundie couples should be popping out babies at the drop of a hat.  Whatever you were told in sex ed class, that is a myth.  

Quote

Number of women aged 15-44 with impaired fecundity (impaired ability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term): 7.5 million

Percent of women aged 15-44 with impaired fecundity: 12.3%

Number of married women aged 15-44 that are infertile (unable to get pregnant after at least 12 consecutive months of unprotected sex with husband): 1.0 million

Percent of married women aged 15-44 that are infertile: 6.1%

Number of women aged 15-44 who have ever used infertility services: 6.9 million

Percent of women aged 15-44 who have ever used infertility services:  11.3%

Source: Key Statistics from the National Survey of Family Growth (data are for 2011-2013)

That is just the women. In half the cases of infertility it is the man who is infertile.  A nice easy read on infertility myths here:   http://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/infertility/causes/myths-about-infertility/

In Duggar-speak:  God doesn't always give people babies.

[Marissap]

I'm confused as to why Derrick would post an ad for Sams club on his Instagram. It seems so strange!

[tcach]

Maybe he is beginning to think about returning to a regular job? Perhaps in Bentonville, hq for Walmart? If that is the way he is trying to get back into corporate's good graces it seems kinda lame.

[calimojo]

we don't know what his relationship is with Walmart.  It is entirely possible that they were completely supportive of his year+ off to do missionary work.  And I think his mom works for the corporation as well, so no reason to think he would need to get back into their good graces.  If Derrick is able to work for them again,  then good for him.  That would get him some insurance and some of his own income rather than relying on the generosity of fundie strangers to fund his lifestyle or suckling at the teat of JB for money to support his family. 

 

I would like to see at least one of the males, besides JD, I suppose demonstrate some actual understanding of what work ethic is and to seek an income away from whatever the fuck it is the JB has them doing.  Good gravy,  How many young strong men does JB need to run his various businesses, whatever they may be?    

 

 

I also wish the Derick would be smart enough to see the ridiculousness of the goal of their missionary work.  I hope that living among the native people really opened his eyes to the realities of their life.  That he gained respect for the people of the area he was in, and stopped viewing himself as the great white hope to help the brown people find Jesus despite the fact that most were already Catholics.   I hope there was a part of him that was questiong, "Why aren't I helping to get  clean water and reliable public services to these people instead of handing out fundie tracts and putting on fundie skits?"  Why aren't I feeding the hungry and giving shelter to the homeless instead aof standing on a street corner yammering about Jesus? 

I mean Derick graduated from a decent school in a rather demanding major, so he has to have some ability to think, process and analyze.  You would think with Derick there would be some sort of cognitive dissonance to what he learned and experienced compared to what he has been recently taught and imbedded into.  There has to be some little ping in his head sometimes that something isn't making sense, at least, I would hope.

 

[SassyPants]

IMO, I think the sudden death of his father at a rather young age, and the near loss of his mother sent Derick running for the safety and security of the large Duggar fold. Perhaps the last year of being isolated in a foreign country devoid of many conveniences, particularly those provided by the large fold (unlimited babysitting for date nights, free meals, companionship beyond a spouse...) has given Derick a fresh perspective, focus and more realistic goals beyond spewing about Jesus to people who are already engaged and informed about religion, and Jesus and procreating massive numbers of children for whom he can not provide.

[Mercer]

2 hours ago, calimojo said:

we don't know what his relationship is with Walmart.  It is entirely possible that they were completely supportive of his year+ off to do missionary work. 

I find that rather hard to imagine. A corporation very well might be supportive of a dedicated and reliable long-term employee taking a sabbatical for charity work or personal development, but we're talking about a young man who was employed with them for only a very short time, during which he required a significant amount of leave for both his surgery and the birth of a child, and during which he admittedly struggled to remain focused on the job due to lack of boundaries between him and Jill about personal communication during work hours. At this point I'm certain he has spent more time away from Walmart than actually working there.

It very well may be that he parted with Walmart on good terms; I don't mean to imply there are necessarily any hard feelings on either side.  I just highly doubt that Walmart is holding anything open for him or expecting him back. He simply didn't work there long enough or hard enough to earn that type of leeway, especially when we're talking about a large corporation in this tight economy. 

[calimojo]

well, what I mean is that when he left Walmart they may well have left the door open for him to return again if a position was open.  And I don't remember him saying he admittedly struggled to remain focused on the job.  He might have but I just don't remember that.  I do remember speculating that he had a lot of time off for a relatively new employee.   

In reality I doubt he will return there to work as once he gets Jill preggo again,  he has income for the next year.  But it would sure be nice.  Not that it matters to anyone, but it would make me have a smidge of respect for him.  I respect anyone from that group that looks to support themselves.  That is why I have a soft spot for goofus JD.  He seems like the only one with any "Gumption" as my grandpa would say.  I don't think he really works full time but he seems to be one of those people who likes to stay busy.  And he seems to have a natural mechanical inclination and some sort of innate intelligence re: physics or whatever so that he grasps concepts required to fly, to operate big equipment, etc. 

So I do hope that Derick gets a job, even if they live in the fancy house next door to the compound, if he at least gets a job that is a start, but I am not optimistic he will do that. 

[Bad Wolf]

I think Derick also took time off for filming. Didn't he go on one of their Christmas "missions"?

[nst]

20 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

I think Derick also took time off for filming. Didn't he go on one of their Christmas "missions"?

yes he and Jill went when she was hugely pregnant with Iddy 

they went swimming 

1 hour ago, Mercer said:

I find that rather hard to imagine. A corporation very well might be supportive of a dedicated and reliable long-term employee taking a sabbatical for charity work or personal development, but we're talking about a young man who was employed with them for only a very short time, during which he required a significant amount of leave for both his surgery and the birth of a child, and during which he admittedly struggled to remain focused on the job due to lack of boundaries between him and Jill about personal communication during work hours. At this point I'm certain he has spent more time away from Walmart than actually working there.

It very well may be that he parted with Walmart on good terms; I don't mean to imply there are necessarily any hard feelings on either side.  I just highly doubt that Walmart is holding anything open for him or expecting him back. He simply didn't work there long enough or hard enough to earn that type of leeway, especially when we're talking about a large corporation in this tight economy. 

you had me laughing at ---long term employee ---

 

[WhyNotJulie]

Jill's remark on the first episode of Counting On: Season 2 where she said "this is where God has us right now" and seemed like she wished God would have her go back to Arkansas was telling, but especially when compared with this quote from Derick's blog post:

"My prayer through the course of the month, as well as the charge I shared often with our team, was that we want to be discerning as to where God is working and then seek to be used by Him."

....Could he be drunk on the kool-aid after all?

[jas]

1 hour ago, WhyNotJulie said:

"My prayer through the course of the month, as well as the charge I shared often with our team, was that we want to be discerning as to where God is working and then seek to be used by Him."

That is so vague! I am struggling to understand what he is talking about. What does charge mean in this context, can anyone tell me?
The best attempt at a translation I can come up with is:
"I have been praying that we will want to choose carefully where God is working and try to help"
or is it:
"I have been praying that we will figure out what God is up to and try to help"?

I don't know what either of these would mean in practice. They could do whatever they want and claim it is what they have discerned is useful to God. 

I don't know what hope Derick has of conveying his message in a second language when he has such difficulty communicating clearly in English.

[Four is Enough]

Sounds to me like Derick is saying, "We haven't been getting the support or kudos I expected here, so let's find where someone is actually getting support money and go THERE." (and horn in on it. and claim all the glory.)