Lori Alexander 10: Fickle Brained Woman (and she would know)

[Hisey]

Looks like Lori's youngest, Cassi, had a baby girl named Rilyn. 

[wikinggirl]

5 hours ago, Hisey said:

Looks like Lori's youngest, Cassi, had a baby girl named Rilyn. 

Rilyn? What kind of name is that?!?! 

[Hisey]

3 hours ago, wikinggirl said:

Rilyn? What kind of name is that?!?! 

Thank you. I was afraid to say that myself because I was concerned a lot of people would write in to say "Rilyn is a perfectly ordinary name!! I know three Rilyns!"

I don't know what Cassi was thinking by giving her little girl a name that is hard to spell and say. Of course, I don't know Cassi, but she always struck me as confused and sad. Lost. Insecure. I feel the same way about Lori's two sons, too. Only the oldest girl seems happy.

[kpmom]

Where does Cassi live in comparison to Lori?  And is this Cassi's first child?

I ask because it appears Lori was not there for the birth as she said something about going  to meet her new granddaughter. 

 

[jerkit]

8 hours ago, Hisey said:

Thank you. I was afraid to say that myself because I was concerned a lot of people would write in to say "Rilyn is a perfectly ordinary name!! I know three Rilyns!"

I don't know what Cassi was thinking by giving her little girl a name that is hard to spell and say. Of course, I don't know Cassi, but she always struck me as confused and sad. Lost. Insecure. I feel the same way about Lori's two sons, too. Only the oldest girl seems happy.

I think Cassi looks dead inside in every single picture.

I think Alyssa tries really hard to make it look like she's happy, but I think she desperately wants a child that she has been unable to have.

I think Steven and Emily are genuinely happy.

1 minute ago, kpmom said:

Where does Cassi live in comparison to Lori?  And is this Cassi's first child?

I ask because it appears Lori was not there for the birth as she said something about going  to meet her new granddaughter. 

 

Cassi and Ryan live in Houston.

[polecat]

6 minutes ago, jerkit said:

I think Cassi looks dead inside in every single picture.

I think Alyssa tries really hard to make it look like she's happy, but I think she desperately wants a child that she has been unable to have.

I think Steven and Emily are genuinely happy.

Cassi and Ryan live in Houston.

 

I've lurked a bit on Alyssa's blog, and I think she's reasonably happy, too. She might want a child (or not -- I'm not actually sure on that one), but I do think she managed to escape the iron-gripped claws of her mother. And I think she's found her own happiness for it. I agree that Steven and Emily are happy. The other two look empty and sad, though. Cassi looks far older than her years, too -- and that didn't come from hard partying or sun exposure. 

My kids are my pride and joy. I cannot even begin to imagine stripping them of their own joy like she's done.

[jerkit]

9 minutes ago, polecat said:

I've lurked a bit on Alyssa's blog, and I think she's reasonably happy, too. She might want a child (or not -- I'm not actually sure on that one), but I do think she managed to escape the iron-gripped claws of her mother. And I think she's found her own happiness for it. I agree that Steven and Emily are happy. The other two look empty and sad, though. Cassi looks far older than her years, too -- and that didn't come from hard partying or sun exposure. 

My kids are my pride and joy. I cannot even begin to imagine stripping them of their own joy like she's done.

This is very true. I see Alyssa doing things on Instagram that I can't help but imagine Lori would be completely aghast at. Normal things that any 20-something dance instructor would do: wear leggings, have drinks with friends, post about your puppy like it's your baby, wear short shorts for a 5K, etc.

[Pammy]

18 hours ago, teachergirl said:

anyone care to venture what Lori would say about Katie Smith??? After all she did everything by the book and she shouldn't work according to Lori and they homechurch so probably minimal support in the long run....Lori supports the Pearls who support staying with a child molester....

I imagine...

- It's all porn's fault. Porn makes normal men desire worse and worse things, ending in pedophilia and molestation. There was no such thing in the good old days.

- Follow the Pearls to the letter: including reporting him, and co-operating with the investigation / trial... Followed by sweetly raising the kids alone, never saying a word against him, visiting him in prison with kids (and alone, to 'encourage him') with every intention to welcome him back as husband/head upon his release.

- Resume ditues, honour and obey unconditionally, hope for the best without kids in the house.

- Of course this is plan from (the Pearls? No um, Lori? Oh, of course, it's from the Bible? Where? Titus?) Anyhow, we are sure it is definitely the will of God, so if she does it, it's garuneeed to be fine. (But it won't feel fine. It's good in some other way. Just ignore those pesky feelings.)

[jerkit]

3 minutes ago, Pammy said:

I imagine...

- It's all porn's fault. Porn makes normal men desire worse and worse things, ending in pedophilia and molestation. There was no such thing in the good old days.

- Follow the Pearls to the letter: including reporting him, and co-operating with the investigation / trial... Followed by sweetly raising the kids alone, never saying a word against him, visiting him in prison with kids (and alone, to 'encourage him') with every intention to welcome him back as husband/head upon his release.

- Resume ditues, honour and obey unconditionally, hope for the best without kids in the house.

- Of course this is plan from (the Pearls? No um, Lori? Oh, of course, it's from the Bible? Where? Titus?) Anyhow, we are sure it is definitely the will of God, so if she does it, it's garuneeed to be fine. (But it won't feel fine. It's good in some other way. Just ignore those pesky feelings.)

Or the wife's fault - she wasn't putting out frequently or enthusiastically enough.

[Hisey]

I spend more time thinking about Lori's four kids than I am willing to admit.

Alyssa is a bit of a puzzle. She is in her 30s, a dance instructor, and has been married for about 5 years or so. She posts pictures of herself constantly on facebook, doing jumps and stretches in ballet clothes. Why? Most people I know don't do that. Is it a dance thing? It's almost like she is saying, "Look what I can do!" "Look how in shape I am!" I want to like Alyssa, but come on.

I also wonder if she really wants kids. Maybe she does, and if so, I feel for her (our family experienced infertility). But she seems so into her body, staying fit, exercise, etc that it wouldn't surprise me if pregnancy was scary, or even undesirable, for her. Plus, she did have a wicked witch of a mother which may keep her from wanting kids at all. Another possibility--she told her mother they "can't" have kids to shut her up, and that she plans to simply wait till she and Jon have had some fun.

Lori posted a pic of her kids recently, and when she came to Alyssa she said something like this. "That's Alyssa she is married to Jon and they have always been open to kids and are open now but they don't have any." Please! Please don't think my daughter uses birth control, readers!

The interesting thing about Cassi is that, well, we all know she is not supposed to work now that she is a mother. But her husband is in dental school. Lori's admitted to "helping" them; I suspect they are fully supporting them or will be after Cassi quits her part time job. Her husband's family may be helping out too. If it were me, I'd have waited a couple of years (Cassie is in her 20s) so that I wouldn't have to take money from my parents.

I think Stephen seems relatively happy with Emily, who is very attractive but also seems incredibly smug (I read her facebook--she thinks she has all the answers). But his eyes always look very sad. He was a big athlete in his little Christian school and he seems like he misses those glory days.

[polecat]

33 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I spend more time thinking about Lori's four kids than I am willing to admit.

Alyssa is a bit of a puzzle. She is in her 30s, a dance instructor, and has been married for about 5 years or so. She posts pictures of herself constantly on facebook, doing jumps and stretches in ballet clothes. Why? Most people I know don't do that. Is it a dance thing? It's almost like she is saying, "Look what I can do!" "Look how in shape I am!" I want to like Alyssa, but come on.

I also wonder if she really wants kids. Maybe she does, and if so, I feel for her (our family experienced infertility). But she seems so into her body, staying fit, exercise, etc that it wouldn't surprise me if pregnancy was scary, or even undesirable, for her. Plus, she did have a wicked witch of a mother which may keep her from wanting kids at all. Another possibility--she told her mother they "can't" have kids to shut her up, and that she plans to simply wait till she and Jon have had some fun.

Lori posted a pic of her kids recently, and when she came to Alyssa she said something like this. "That's Alyssa she is married to Jon and they have always been open to kids and are open now but they don't have any." Please! Please don't think my daughter uses birth control, readers!

The interesting thing about Cassi is that, well, we all know she is not supposed to work now that she is a mother. But her husband is in dental school. Lori's admitted to "helping" them; I suspect they are fully supporting them or will be after Cassi quits her part time job. Her husband's family may be helping out too. If it were me, I'd have waited a couple of years (Cassie is in her 20s) so that I wouldn't have to take money from my parents.

I think Stephen seems relatively happy with Emily, who is very attractive but also seems incredibly smug (I read her facebook--she thinks she has all the answers). But his eyes always look very sad. He was a big athlete in his little Christian school and he seems like he misses those glory days.

1

bbm -- Actually, yes, I think it might be. I don't know any adult dancers, but all my friends with dancing daughters are constantly (constantly, constantly, constantly) posting pictures of their daughters in the exact same poses. Constantly! lol. And in their costumes. And videos of them at their dances and recitals. And more pictures of them posing. And posing in line at Disneyland. And posing in the parking lot at Kroger. And posing at the park. And dancing at the beach. I've ***never danced (IFB, you now, dancing is worse than premarital sex y'all), but from what I can gather, that is really a pretty normal thing for dancers. It seems like a lifestyle more than a hobby.

 

**Although dancer or no, I've been tempted a couple times to post my own pictures of extreme contortionist poses since I am NOT a dancer but I AM hypermobile thanks to EDS, lol. I want to show off my own fancy pants, circus-like moves ...  

[lilwriter85]

51 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I spend more time thinking about Lori's four kids than I am willing to admit.

Alyssa is a bit of a puzzle. She is in her 30s, a dance instructor, and has been married for about 5 years or so. She posts pictures of herself constantly on facebook, doing jumps and stretches in ballet clothes. Why? Most people I know don't do that. Is it a dance thing? It's almost like she is saying, "Look what I can do!" "Look how in shape I am!" I want to like Alyssa, but come on.

I also wonder if she really wants kids. Maybe she does, and if so, I feel for her (our family experienced infertility). But she seems so into her body, staying fit, exercise, etc that it wouldn't surprise me if pregnancy was scary, or even undesirable, for her. Plus, she did have a wicked witch of a mother which may keep her from wanting kids at all. Another possibility--she told her mother they "can't" have kids to shut her up, and that she plans to simply wait till she and Jon have had some fun.

Lori posted a pic of her kids recently, and when she came to Alyssa she said something like this. "That's Alyssa she is married to Jon and they have always been open to kids and are open now but they don't have any." Please! Please don't think my daughter uses birth control, readers!

The interesting thing about Cassi is that, well, we all know she is not supposed to work now that she is a mother. But her husband is in dental school. Lori's admitted to "helping" them; I suspect they are fully supporting them or will be after Cassi quits her part time job. Her husband's family may be helping out too. If it were me, I'd have waited a couple of years (Cassie is in her 20s) so that I wouldn't have to take money from my parents.

I think Stephen seems relatively happy with Emily, who is very attractive but also seems incredibly smug (I read her facebook--she thinks she has all the answers). But his eyes always look very sad. He was a big athlete in his little Christian school and he seems like he misses those glory days.

Ken said somewhere on the blog or in comments that he was opposed to financially helping adult children. There is probably tension there if Lori has said they are helping them. I can see a scenario, in which Ken doesn't want to help Cassi and Ryan, but Lori pushes it and he reluctantly agrees.  I also think Ryan's family could be helping. What's a bit telling about Ryan and Cassi's situation, is that he left pharmacy school to pursue dental school. He might have some pharmacy school debt lingering on.

I agree, if I had been Cassi's situation I would have waited to have kids in order to taking money from parents. Some parents are perfectly fine helping out adult children when they are starting out and they view the help as gifts. Other people might hold it over their kids' heads. I could see Lori and Ken being the types to beat Cassi and Ryan over the head about how they helped them. I also wonder if Lori and/or Ken are monster-in-laws because Alyssa's husband worked for Ken's business and was listed on on the site and then a couple of months later his info was scrubbed. I immediately wondered if there was drama.

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

Ken said somewhere on the blog or in comments that he was opposed to financially helping adult children. There is probably tension there if Lori has said they are helping them. I can see a scenario, in which Ken doesn't want to help Cassi and Ryan, but Lori pushes it and he reluctantly agrees.  I also think Ryan's family could be helping. What's a bit telling about Ryan and Cassi's situation, is that he left pharmacy school to pursue dental school. He might have some pharmacy school debt lingering on.

I agree, if I had been Cassi's situation I would have waited to have kids in order to taking money from parents. Some parents are perfectly fine helping out adult children when they are starting out and they view the help as gifts. Other people might hold it over their kids' heads. I could see Lori and Ken being the types to beat Cassi and Ryan over the head about how they helped them. I also wonder if Lori and/or Ken are monster-in-laws because Alyssa's husband worked for Ken's business and was listed on on the site and then a couple of months later his info was scrubbed. I immediately wondered if there was drama.

Actually I thought that Jon probably got laid off for a while (he works in construction). You really can't live off a part-time ballet instructors earnings, so he became an orthodontic office consultant for a while.

[jerkit]

If I never hear about Door County ever again, it will be too soon.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Door County looks nice, and reminds me of cottage country in Muskoka.

What struck me, though, is that she's comparing her summers there to "kids today", who may be stuck inside.  Well, guess what, she was luck as hell to have access to those kind of summers!

Where I live, summers in a cabin on prime lakefront are not cheap.  Access to the great outdoors is wonderful, but I think the phrase "check your privilege" may have been meant for her.  I don't think she realizes that some of those kids staying inside have families that can't afford to be on a lake during the summer.

 

[Fascinated]

Summers at the lake can also be dangerous.  I wonder if she had some sort of encounter with an errant tree branch that has remained stuck in her ass lo these many years. It's difficult otherwise to compare the young, carefree Lori with the woman she is today.  Just postulating, of course.

[Koala]

41 minutes ago, 2xx1xy1JD said:

Door County looks nice, and reminds me of cottage country in Muskoka.

What struck me, though, is that she's comparing her summers there to "kids today", who may be stuck inside.  Well, guess what, she was luck as hell to have access to those kind of summers!

Where I live, summers in a cabin on prime lakefront are not cheap.  Access to the great outdoors is wonderful, but I think the phrase "check your privilege" may have been meant for her.  I don't think she realizes that some of those kids staying inside have families that can't afford to be on a lake during the summer.

 

The lifestyle she advocates for (mom can't work no matter what EVAH!) is the family that 9/10 aren't going to be able to afford a few weeks in Door County for the summer.  Or anywhere for that matter.  Hell, most families with 2 working parents can't afford a few weeks away every summer.

I have heard some of the women she mentors brainstorm over ways to save gas, make food stretch, etc.  Gah, she is so privileged.

 

[Hisey]

It's interesting to me that her kids have had such privileged, charmed lives on the exterior, yet they seem so sad and beaten down. 

Sounds like they grew up on a culdesac full of other kids, in a city with near-perfect weather. Summers were spent in a family cottage with lots of other cousins. They attended private school. The family could afford to indulge the kids in their interests, like ballet and basketball. There was lots of extended family around. The kids are all attractive and seemingly talented in sports and dance. 

Yet the grownup Alyssa, Ryan, Steven and Cassi are so discouraged-looking, and only  Steven really earns his own living (and I suspect Ken bought him a share of that practice).. The girls have written of their body image issues. Even the childhood pics of the kids show them looking anxious and worried. To me, this indicates that a privileged upbringing does not create happy adults (though the privilege can make life in a dysfunctional family more tolerable).

[louisa05]

On 8/2/2016 at 9:03 AM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Louisa05, another heathen liberal Catholic here -- who also doesn't have a hard marriage 

I grew up around evangelicals (small rural southern town) and remember hearing my mother's friends talk about their "hard" marriages, and how they wished they were single again/ had married someone else, and that it was so, so "difficult" **every single day** to be married to an "ungodly" man that sometimes they "hated",  and that he was such a bad influence on the children.  

Since these men were friends of my father's I got to see the other side of that ungodly behavior -- cursing sometimes, drinking a beer on a hot day, staying home from Wed. night church to mow the lawn ( probably drinking that beer afterward), and not thinking that the new preacher walked on water.

In retrospect these women, all SAHM, had good lives, married to men that seemingly loved them and the families and earned enough to keep them well provided for.  I think the 'hard" part of marriage for these women was the set of ridiculous, unobtainable expectations they put on themselves, their husbands and their children.  They wanted perfect.

The perfect marriage and perfect godly husband and perfect family their church told them was out there and was their reward if they just tried more and harder, prayed more and harder, went to church more, stayed sweet (er), and gave more $$ to the church. So they did all that and made themselves, their husbands and their children (my friends) miserable in the process, 

So apparently, fundie marriage is so awful because they all just need a drink, LOL!: 

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/08/03/secret-happy-marriage-maybe-drinking-alcohol-study-says/88002166/

[Loveday]

More of the same old, same old. Modesty's the theme today. Again.

Quote

 

Modesty is clothing that is not drawing attention to yourself in any way...including showing off or showing too much of your body, highlighting your income/status/position, and even drawing attention by being sloppy/not put together. I personally include the wearing of bright colors or patterns. I just try to not have attention on ME. I would rather others not remember my outfit, and instead remember the smile I wear or the tone of my voice when speaking in love to them

 

We'll never forget that plunging neckline, Lori. 

Quote

I try to apply the opposite of the saying, "If you've got it, flaunt it." Maybe we have a nice income that is abundant. This doesn’t mean I need to dress and live to show off my income bracket.

No, you just need to write about it, don't you? Ad nauseum. Gold Mercedes, expensive sofa (and the $1500 re-upholstering), nannies, vacations at Daddy's lake house.... 

And of course she gets Ken's perspective:

Quote

...a modest woman is someone with a beautiful spirit, but also a woman who takes good care of herself, doesn't overeat, is pleasant, joyful, positive, dresses stylishly, is discreet but lovely in appearance, wears natural looking makeup,  but not provocatively, shaves her legs and wears deodorant and a feminine perfume. I mentioned that because we once met a Christian lady who believed God wanted her to keep her body as natural and as modest as possible, so she didn't use deodorant, nor shaved. It bothered both of us, but it was extremely difficult for my husband to even speak to her.

 

You know, I try to do most of the above most of the time. But Ken would probably not be able to speak to me because no matter how hard I try, I'm not 'lovely in appearance.' I'm pretty much 'homely as a mud fence,' as the old saying goes. Very plain and basic, no matter what I wear or how much makeup I put on, or how close-shaved my legs are. So I guess Ken would just avert his eyes if he had to be in my presence. 

[jerkit]

Perfume is not modest, IMO, as someone sensitive to smells. It's all I think about when I'm around someone wearing it.

[ViolaSebastian]

Deodorant is not mentioned in the Bible, Lori!!11!!!1!

[TeddyBonkers]

"Modest is how the Bates and Duggars act. Modest is humble."

Humble and modest with a TV show? I've clearly been doing modesty wrong my whole life.

[kpmom]

39 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Deodorant is not mentioned in the Bible, Lori!!11!!!1!

Nor Lady Bic razors!

Seriously, Ken couldn't even speak to a woman because she didn't shave her legs?  Lucky woman!

 

[molecule]

Today's lesson: Be someone who could turn Ken on but not in an obvious way. 

That's just gross. I refuse to think about how I present myself in terms of what Lori's husband thinks. My own husband prefers that I not wear perfume, he has no idea if what I'm wearing is stylish (thank goodness, because it almost never is), and he doesn't notice if I'm wearing makeup unless it's lipstick.