Fundie Retreat to Marry Off Children ~ Vaughn Ohlman

[16strong]

58 minutes ago, Mela99 said:

OH wow.... Too bad the dates don't work. DH will be away for the week and I have a baby shower, day trip, and tickets to Lewis Black that weekend. I'd have gone though. DH would have, too - I just showed him the website and he said he'd love to go for snark fodder.

Sorry fundies, but Lewis Black is the shit. You're going to have to get your infamy somewhere else.

[Cats B4 Quivers]

Just now, Destiny said:

I downloaded this asshole's book. I'm gonna hate read it and post it on my blog. Thankfully, the chapters are stupid short, so, IDEALLY, I shouldn't die of alcohol poisoning while trying to slog through this shitfest.

You are a good person taking one for the fj team. I'm positive I'd rage slame my head through a brick wall if I read any of his stupid short chapters. And remember, drink the good alcohol and make that poisoning count!

[Mela99]

1 minute ago, 16strong said:

Sorry fundies, but Lewis Black is the shit. You're going to have to get your infamy somewhere else.

It's my second time seeing him!! He's my soul mate.

[Gossamer1]

15 minutes ago, 16strong said:

Sorry fundies, but Lewis Black is the shit. You're going to have to get your infamy somewhere else.

Um, who is Lewis Black? 

[EmiGirl]

50 minutes ago, Gossamer1 said:

Um, who is Lewis Black? 

The best and funniest comedian ever! I think he's on hulu or netflix.

[Grimalkin]

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2016 at 6:35 PM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

What the fuck are they talking about?

Vaughn Ohlman is a motherfucking cocksucker! I feel like Al Swearengen.

[Mela99]

1 hour ago, Gossamer1 said:

Um, who is Lewis Black? 

The funniest comedian in history. He was on The Daily Show, has done a ton of specials, and if you have kids, he was the voice of Anger in Inside Out. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Black

[19TrollsandCounting]

Boob and JChelle probably RSVP'ed as soon they heard about It

Is it for young adults too Stevehovah can finally marry poor sarah

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

Creepy Vaughn Ohlman's son's betrothal was discussed on FJ back in 2013.
 

Betrothed 2 hours after meeting for the first time.  

And Vaughn's take (from the Wayback Machine):  https://web.archive.org/web/20151103093416/http://truelovedoesntwait.com/announcements/the-story-of-the-betrothal-of-joshua-and-laura-ohlman/

Josh & Laura have facebook pages too.  

[Destiny]

My recap of chapter one is up on my blog. I'm going to do all of them eventually, ideally one per day. And with that, I will stop derailing this thread. Happy snarking on Vaughn Ohlman (who is a creeper).

[Yogi]

7 hours ago, 19TrollsandCounting said:

Boob and JChelle probably RSVP'ed as soon they heard about It

Is it for young adults too Stevehovah can finally marry poor sarah

Vaughn likes kids to marry as young as possible so mid30s Sarah is sadly out of luck. 

[Howl]

19 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

Hi, Vaughn Ohlman.

So you're now busily purging reorganizing and shrinking your website in order to focus on your core goals?

Well, perception management IS the key to maintaining the financial bottom line, ya know.  In this bidness, being doctrinally correct is everything.  Don't get it right, and your conference attendance can go to, um, hell. 

That Anonymous guy is a raging creep, as in, ANYTHING that happens is God's will, so don't interfere.  Children being abused?  God chose that mother for his own reason, and you don't want to go against God by taking them away, now do you?  Whatever your sad lot in life?  God chose that for you, so don't try to change it. 

[smittykins]

7 hours ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

Creepy Vaughn Ohlman's son's betrothal was discussed on FJ back in 2013.
 

Betrothed 2 hours after meeting for the first time.  

And Vaughn's take (from the Wayback Machine):  https://web.archive.org/web/20151103093416/http://truelovedoesntwait.com/announcements/the-story-of-the-betrothal-of-joshua-and-laura-ohlman/

Josh & Laura have facebook pages too.  

I remember someone posting on the old TWoP Duggar thread about a couple whose "betrothal ceremony" was a civil wedding, and she was expected to wait around in her dad's house in full wedding gown until her groom came for her(which was at least a couple weeks IIRC).  I'm not saying it was these two, but this Vaughn creep sounds like someone who would do this.

[nickelodeon]

You're thinking of Maranatha Chapman @smittykins!

 

[smittykins]

Thanks, @nickelodeon!

[sta_sha]

8 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

You're thinking of Maranatha Chapman @smittykins!

 

I think this is the most disturbing thing I've ever read on FJ...

[Grimalkin]

4 minutes ago, sta_sha said:

I think this is the most disturbing thing I've ever read on FJ...

Ahhhh, there is a Jessiqua and black beard thread that is pretty fucked up! 

[Thumb of Justice]

The Maranatha Chapman engagement story is one of the most disturbing things i ever read. The way the father insinuated himself into every part of it was so extreme you couldn't parody it. The icing on the cake was that when Matthew was finally taken to marry Maranatha, who'd been moping around for weeks made up and dressed in her wedding gown, her father played some song he had written. He literally made a soundtrack for this bizarre spectacle he was micromanaging.

Years later I googled her to see how poor Maranatha turned out, and Maranatha went on to become a horrible homeschooling mother.  She wrote some long piece about how her teenaged daughter was doing everything she told her to do just right, but Maranatha "could not taste of her heart" so her daughter needed to be punished until she did everything her mother told her exactly right but with the right, tasty heart. Here she talks about how it's not enough to behave perfectly; you have to have the right Stepford Christian emotions:  http://womenofchristianity.com/are-you-raising-a-pharisee-by-maranatha-chapman/

I was raised similarly but less extremely. My fundie parents punished me when I was doing nothing wrong because I didn't have the right emotions. I was not allowed to express anger or unhappiness; those were forbidden feelings. It's incredibly unhealthy.

[sta_sha]

Thanks @Grimalkin...that was quite the rabbit hole!

[RabbitKM]

My favorite part of this thread is them blaming "liberal sex ed" for teenage pregnancy.  When if you look at a map of places that only allow abstinence only sex ed, those are "coincidentally" also the states with the highest teen pregnancy rates.  And I literally just read an article this morning about how teens who take purity vows are the ones who are more likely to get pregnant compared to their peers.  So, rather than blaming people who actually educate their children on sex, maybe take a good look at the statistics (or are they just vicious statistical rumors??).  

 

[hoipolloi]

3 hours ago, smittykins said:

I remember someone posting on the old TWoP Duggar thread about a couple whose "betrothal ceremony" was a civil wedding, and she was expected to wait around in her dad's house in full wedding gown until her groom came for her(which was at least a couple weeks IIRC).  I'm not saying it was these two, but this Vaughn creep sounds like someone who would do this.

You're probably thinking of the  Maranatha Chapman betrothal + wedding. The linked FJ discussion has a lot.

[Howl]

Googling around I discovered that the Chapmans are from WACO, TX.  They are way out there, even for Waco.  I'm sure they are all still in the Waco area.  

[nickelodeon]

4 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

Ahhhh, there is a Jessiqua and black beard thread that is pretty fucked up! 

The Anonymous blogger linked upthread actually reminded me a lot of Jessiqua. Wasn't that repulsive mess also started by a "strange old man staring at/trying to talk to some little girls after church and a parent getting involved" situation?

[nastyhobbitses]

14 hours ago, Gossamer1 said:

Um, who is Lewis Black? 

A very funny comedian who's known for angry rants about things that piss him off. He also played Anger in Inside Out (basically doing a G-rated version of his standup).

[BackseatMom]

That Marathana story is terrifying and heart breaking, but so is her blog post. Intergenerational cycles of abuse are real, ya'll.

I really feel for Fundy children everywhere. But I also feel for their parents. How terrible to be brought up knowing only this one, abusive, limiting way to live.

Except the Naugler parents. Fuck them.