Jessa, Ben, and Spurgeon part 5

[Hera]

29 minutes ago, EmCatlyn said:

The Internet and the drugstore are good sources of information accessible to Jessa and other married fundies.  The real problem is peer and parental pressure and status.

Jessa and Ben may not (individually) want more kids, but I doubt either will admit it, even to each other.  I don't think they are prepared to discuss planned reproduction with each other. And I think that while they could quietly delay the next pregnancy for a couple of years, any longer would cause questions from their parents and pitying, superior looks from "more fertile" fundy couples.

But at least for now Jessa seems to be enjoying motherhood without feeling a strong urge to build on that pleasure by reproducing again in a hurry, which is definitely to the good.

Aaaaannnddd...this is precisely why "courtship" is so fucked up.  Being able to have a discussion about children - whether to have them, an idea of how many, etc. - is crucial before marriage.  And being afraid to discuss something this big with your spouse is just incredible to me, though it doesn't surprise me in the least with the Duggars and their ilk.  

Frankly, I think this inability to communicate his unhappiness is a large (though certainly not only) part of why Josh acted the way he did.  If you cannot acknowledge your unhappiness and cannot discuss your innermost thoughts with your spouse, then you're either going to bottle everything up until you explode or secretly seek relief from your unhappiness in another venue. Josh was definitely wrong in how he acted and he is a selfish bastard for hurting his wife and kids.  His choices are on him and lots of people are unhappy but don't do what he did.  But damn, I cannot get around the fact that his selfish parents and their fucked up need to control their children's thoughts and their obsession with eliminating what most people would consider normal thoughts and feelings is a huge part of the problem here, not just or Josh but for all the Duggar kidults. 

[EmmieJ]

16 hours ago, nickelodeon said:

That young man is drenched in his own saliva!

Ha ha!  That's typical for teething babies.  Little S Elliot is cute (although like Clara, my son was way cuter as a baby. /doting mom).  I like seeing signs that Jessa is over the moon about her little guy.  The more deeply that mother-child bond is set, the harder it will be (I hope!) for her to use harsh punishment or harsh child-rearing techniques on him. 

[Buzzard]

Just putting this here in case they correct "sturgeon."

Also, how much time do they spend at this coffee shop?  For 2 unemployed adults with a baby, they sure do get out a lot!

[ksgranola1]

Dr. Phil, altho somewhat of a prick, says that harsh discipline changes a child's DNA, it changes who they are.

I worry that the closeness Spurge & Izzy have w/J/D, J/B will be lost if they both go into baby overdrive.

That's the textbook I was saying Ben was studying.

What's wrong w/keeping a baby in a carseat? It's comfy for them & it keeps them safe. My grandson would not sleep in his crib or pack&play. The pediatrician assured my daughter he would not still be sleeping in it when he went to college. When he turned a year, he was too big for it & promptly forgot about it.

[EmCatlyn]

On April 5, 2016 at 9:52 AM, HereticHick said:If Ben were to pursue a 4 year degree at Moody, I wonder how long it would take, given that he already has an associates degree & allegedly is taking some Moody online classes already. If Moody lets him transfer a lot of his AA credits, it might take less than 2 years.

How odd to think they might move to Chicago while all their ATI buddies are leaving it!

As I understand their website, the Moody program would accept all but any science credits Ben completed  towards the associate degree.   They require 33 hours of general studies and the breakdown is pretty standard for gen eds except Moody doesn't seem to require physical sciences.  I would think the community college required at least 3 hours of science.  Moody might accept these hours and any concentration he did, as electives.  Ben might have to take an additional "critical thinking" requirement, but mostly he should be able to transfer the 60 credits that make a standard Associate degree.  (Electives and general education at Moody would be 54 hours. If he needs to take an additional "critical thinking" class, that would put him with 9 hours over the 120 hours at Moody, but that's usual for transfers.)

Here is the link to the  online Theological Studies Program  at Moody.  There are other programs he might pursue, but it is a good example. 

I have mentioned before that I don't think Ben will need to move to Chicago to get a degree from Moody.  They offer fully online degrees (including Ministry Leadership and Theological Studies) and, if Ben wants to go to a residential program, they have a couple of other campuses.  

It is possible he wants to attend school in Chicago, of course. He may be interested in a program that is only available from the Chicago campus (such as the BA in Sports Ministry).  The Chicago programs are more diverseMoody Programs in Chicago But if he jus wants a general BS  in religion for the ministry and doesn't want to move, he can do the fully online deal.  Here is the list of fully online programs:  Distance Learning at Moody 

Whichever program he chooses, most of the Associate degree credits will transfer as either general education or electives if his was an academic Associate degree.

[helenprev]

17 hours ago, anotherone said:

Maybe I'm misunderstanding the hubbub over that, it's that you're not supposed to let him sleep in the carseat, right?  How much of an over the top mom do you have to be to drive around with the kid in the carseat and not let him fall asleep?  For my kids at that age, driving in the car was an instant snoozefest.

I'm 43 and I still fall asleep almost instantly if someone else is driving!

[nastyhobbitses]

Quote

Ben might have to take an additional "critical thinking" requirement

Lord help us all.

[Apricot]

17 hours ago, anotherone said:

Maybe I'm misunderstanding the hubbub over that, it's that you're not supposed to let him sleep in the carseat, right?  How much of an over the top mom do you have to be to drive around with the kid in the carseat and not let him fall asleep?  For my kids at that age, driving in the car was an instant snoozefest.

I think it's not that they're not supposed to sleep in it at all but being in it for long periods is not recommended. We had to do a long journey when my eldest was only a few weeks and we were recommended to get her out of the car seat every 2.5 hours at least. 

[EmCatlyn]

13 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

We did tie ones similar to the ones Jessa is using. I bought them on Etsy. We just stuck them onto his onesie each month for the first year. We also put a sock monkey in the picture with him each time. It's just kind of fun to compare the pictures month to month. Even now, at 2.5 years old I take a monthly picture with the sock monkey (no more stickers though.)

Many years ago and without the stickers, we took pictures every month with a cardboard sign stating the kid's age. We took it in the same spot next to the same bookcase.  My favorite now are the pics of my son crawling away from the sign the first month he could crawl.

After age 18 months we switched to every 6 months until age 4 and then it became one of the birthday pictures-- always with a cardboard sign and next to the same bookcase.  We stopped when we moved to a new house, right after the younger one turned 6.

Those pics have made a good record.  I should go back and look at them.

 

[MatthewDuggar]

I find it hard to believe that Bin got any quality studying done with pic-snappin' Jessa and baby in tote.  Maybe she sat and did her nails while he read.  

[Graceshepard]

2 hours ago, Buzzard said:

Just putting this here in case they correct "sturgeon."

Also, how much time do they spend at this coffee shop?  For 2 unemployed adults with a baby, they sure do get out a lot!

Based on the awkwardness of their interactions, I guess they need to get out a lot to avoid being stuck in that little house together.

[Screamapillar]

Ben's coffee shop photo op studying with baby reminds me of how when I was around his age in college I liked to go out to this duck pond on campus and sit in the grass and "study." Looking back, I think I just thought it was cute to do that. Like I was creating a picturesque snapshot of college life or something.  Thank goodness I got all of that kind of goofiness out of my system long before sharing mundane activities on social media became a thing.

Maybe little Spurge likes the hustle and bustle of being out in public, he looks pretty content. Though I can't think of too many things less conducive to productive studying than the hassle of taking a baby out to a coffee shop just to sit and read. Well...JK Rowling used to do that with her baby when she was writing Harry Potter. But Bin ain't no JK Rowling.

[ClaraOswin]

6 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I've seen the stickers I want to say at babies R Us. I think they are a good idea. What gets annoying, I think, is the social media part of it where every month the sticker picture is posted and friends are expected to say "wow! so big!" *shrug* Sorry I know that comes off as bitchy. I'll see myself out... 

Good thing you aren't friends with me on FB. Ha! I still post a monthly photo of my son....in addition to hundreds of other photos throughout the year. But I am not doing it for the "likes" or comments. I do it because my family, especially those who live far away, love to see them. I think it depends on the person. There are definitely people who do things just for the attention or likes. But not everyone.

3 hours ago, ksgranola1 said:

Dr. Phil, altho somewhat of a prick, says that harsh discipline changes a child's DNA, it changes who they are.

I worry that the closeness Spurge & Izzy have w/J/D, J/B will be lost if they both go into baby overdrive.

That's the textbook I was saying Ben was studying.

What's wrong w/keeping a baby in a carseat? It's comfy for them & it keeps them safe. My grandson would not sleep in his crib or pack&play. The pediatrician assured my daughter he would not still be sleeping in it when he went to college. When he turned a year, he was too big for it & promptly forgot about it.

There have been cases of babies dying after being left sleeping unattended in car seats (and swings/bouncers/etc.) Before a baby can hold their head up, it's possible for them to slump over and cut off their airway. In a car this is less likely to happen because of the recline of the seat. Other times babies have died when the straps weren't properly secured and they were basically strangled/asphyxiated. It's pretty rare but it's really sad.

2 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

Many years ago and without the stickers, we took pictures every month with a cardboard sign stating the kid's age. We took it in the same spot next to the same bookcase.  My favorite now are the pics of my son crawling away from the sign the first month he could crawl.

After age 18 months we switched to every 6 months until age 4 and then it became one of the birthday pictures-- always with a cardboard sign and next to the same bookcase.  We stopped when we moved to a new house, right after the younger one turned 6.

Those pics have made a good record.  I should go back and look at them.

 

I planned to stop the monthly photos when the stickers ran out at 1 year. Then I decided to just throw the sock monkey over to him and snap some each month anyway. No clue when I'll stop. I guess when I start forgetting. We have a lot of the crawling away ones too. I think I posted on here a while back. They are the best.

[ksgranola1]

I entered internet college in 2003 at 60. My CC credits were 30+yrs old & Strayer took them all. It's an excellent way to go. Your lectures are flashed on the screen, just like a blackboard. And you can listen to them over & over if there's a point you need to review. We had a place where the class met online & we were required to do group projects. & participate in class discussion. What was missing? The dreaded drive, the noisey dorms.*I loved that in nursing school.* Could do my studies in my jammies if I wanted to and at 2 in the morning. When we traveled, I took my school w/me. I think this is a good fit for Ben. I'm beginning to think he's taking his education seriously, now.

The car seats: I went to help out my daughter when her 1st was born. He was barely 5#; so, so small. Car seat in back, facing backwards. I sat back there w/him & when she went over a bump his little head bobbed around like it was on a spring. Once it fell forward, pretty much squeezing his trachea. & he was too little to lift it back up. She had no way of knowing b/c she couldn't see him. We got out the donut that came w/the carseat & secured his head in that. We had the fire dept. put the seat in more securely so he couldn't flop forward. Someone always rode back there w/him  & she got mirrors so she could see him. I cannot imagine doing that 19 times.

[ClaraOswin]

Oh, don't worry...they Duggars don't bother with pesky things like safety of a child. All they need is God to keep them safe. 

[Timetostoplurking]

16 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

I entered internet college in 2003 at 60. My CC credits were 30+yrs old & Strayer took them all. It's an excellent way to go. Your lectures are flashed on the screen, just like a blackboard. And you can listen to them over & over if there's a point you need to review. We had a place where the class met online & we were required to do group projects. & participate in class discussion. What was missing? The dreaded drive, the noisey dorms.*I loved that in nursing school.* Could do my studies in my jammies if I wanted to and at 2 in the morning. When we traveled, I took my school w/me. I think this is a good fit for Ben. I'm beginning to think he's taking his education seriously, now.

The car seats: I went to help out my daughter when her 1st was born. He was barely 5#; so, so small. Car seat in back, facing backwards. I sat back there w/him & when she went over a bump his little head bobbed around like it was on a spring. Once it fell forward, pretty much squeezing his trachea. & he was too little to lift it back up. She had no way of knowing b/c she couldn't see him. We got out the donut that came w/the carseat & secured his head in that. We had the fire dept. put the seat in more securely so he couldn't flop forward. Someone always rode back there w/him  & she got mirrors so she could see him. I cannot imagine doing that 19 times.

Spoiler

No need to worry about the car safety thing....just pray to God!  If you pray hard enough he will put another bump in the road so baby's head bounces back into the correct position.    See how that works?  I'm sure it's in one of those wisdom books!  Just read up and have a little faith.   

Not sure how this ended up hidden!!  I must have hit a wrong button.  (Shrugs). 

[Elvis Presby]

30 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

The car seats: I went to help out my daughter when her 1st was born. He was barely 5#; so, so small. Car seat in back, facing backwards. I sat back there w/him & when she went over a bump his little head bobbed around like it was on a spring. Once it fell forward, pretty much squeezing his trachea. & he was too little to lift it back up. She had no way of knowing b/c she couldn't see him. We got out the donut that came w/the carseat & secured his head in that. We had the fire dept. put the seat in more securely so he couldn't flop forward. Someone always rode back there w/him  & she got mirrors so she could see him. I cannot imagine doing that 19 times.

My youngest was a preemie (barely).  He weighed 5.5 lbs at birth, but was barely 5 lbs when we got to take him home.  He passed the car seat test in the NICU, but even so, his apnea monitor went off frequently in the car.  We mostly stayed at home for a couple of months after that.

[nst]

5 hours ago, MatthewDuggar said:

I find it hard to believe that Bin got any quality studying done with pic-snappin' Jessa and baby in tote.  Maybe she sat and did her nails while he read.  

it looks and sounds like he does this a lot while she is around 

maybe he has a way of not listening to her while he reads 

[paulypepper]

On 4/5/2016 at 4:49 PM, ClaraOswin said:

That may be the shortest skirt I've ever seen on Jessa. (reflection in glasses.)

 

Wow! good catch cuz I just breezed by that pic originally

On 4/6/2016 at 11:47 PM, ClaraOswin said:

We did tie ones similar to the ones Jessa is using. I bought them on Etsy. We just stuck them onto his onesie each month for the first year. We also put a sock monkey in the picture with him each time. It's just kind of fun to compare the pictures month to month. Even now, at 2.5 years old I take a monthly picture with the sock monkey (no more stickers though.)

Sock monkeys rule! I made them for each of my four daughters

[Mothership]

I have to admit that in the Bin babysitting episode and the coffee shop photo, we did see Bin apparently attempting to read.  It seemed in both cases to be legit text books. 

Crossing my fingers that Bin is just socially inept and trying hard for a reality show personality (and failing), but maybe, just maybe we've got a second SIL for the Duggars who will end up with a four year degree.  Sure wish Bin and Derrick would encourage some of the howlers to apply to a real four year colleges.  Sadly, this assumes the they'll start getting GEDs again.

[SassyPants]

So who will pay the tuition/room and board fees if applicable?

Even for distance learning, tuition is >$300/per hour unit.

Will The Seewalds need to foot the bill for extended education? I can't seeing JB shelling out for such, unless it's part of a TLC episode (or several) and considered part of filming costs.

CC fees and tuition at a private university are light years apart.

 

[KnittingOwl]

On April 5, 2016 at 0:36 PM, ClaraOswin said:

Sturgeon. Love it.

And dang...I am an over-the-top mom when it comes to safety....but clearly the child is not in any danger in that photo. For one thing, he's awake. And another, they are sitting right by him.

I'd expect more outcry from the photos of him in a Bumbo seat on the table. 

[ClaraOswin]

27 minutes ago, KnittingOwl said:

I'd expect more outcry from the photos of him in a Bumbo seat on the table. 

From me or the general public? It definitely bothered me.

[Graceshepard]

2 hours ago, Mothership said:

I have to admit that in the Bin babysitting episode and the coffee shop photo, we did see Bin apparently attempting to read.  It seemed in both cases to be legit text books. 

Crossing my fingers that Bin is just socially inept and trying hard for a reality show personality (and failing), but maybe, just maybe we've got a second SIL for the Duggars who will end up with a four year degree.  Sure wish Bin and Derrick would encourage some of the howlers to apply to a real four year colleges.  Sadly, this assumes the they'll start getting GEDs again.

Don't they all get GEDs already?

[Mothership]

7 minutes ago, Graceshepard said:

Don't they all get GEDs already?

Someone help out here.  I know that they posted early on as kids received their GEDs and then stopped around Jinger.  Am I recalling correctly?  Is it speculation that they stopped earning them or was there other information that they no longer had them?  Does Clown college require GEDs?