Bates Family Part 8

[picklepizzas]

49 minutes ago, AreteJo said:

Out of all the fundie wedding dresses I have seen on FJ, I thought Jessa Duggar's was the best, followed by Elissa Maxwell's.  Of course neither of the dresses were obviously sleeveless with a t-shirt haphazardly sewn inside. 

If they just can't bear buying from an LDS site, they could try sites that cater to Orthodox Jewish women.  They should still hang their heads in shame that no one in the ATI world seems to have the talent or drive to open a business designing and selling modest wedding dresses.  It's not like there isn't a huge demand.

huh. this is such a good point - why hasn't some enterprising fundie woman done this? a lot of them seem to be skilled seamstresses, and it's the sort of thing you could start from online - you know, a womanly home-enterprise. 

 

also has anyone discussed how interesting it is that this episode on heading to the alter (http://www.batesfamilyblog.com/2016/01/bringing-up-bates-schedule-change.html) features all of the couples' engagements except john and alyssa? i'm curious as to whether its because another network owns the video of their wedding, or if it's because they're truly pulling away from the show, as others have suggested here before. 

[unforgiving]

1 hour ago, HRM1216 said:

 I think Whitney's was probably beautiful, but I don't like boleros--just personal preference--so that's all I focus on when I look at pictures of their wedding. 

I'm not a fan of boleros either, but I always assumed that Whit's choice to have one was less to do with modestly (she hadn't fully embraced the Bates modestly standards then, had she?) and more to do with adding a little extra warmth for a December wedding.

[Coconut Flan]

I think ABC owns the rights to Alyssa's wedding.  It was on a different show entirely.

[marmalade]

7 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

I shouldn't be, but I'm still disturbed by the alterations to strapless/sleeveless wedding gowns.  There is no way to disguise that it was originally a sleeveless boned bodice and they've tacked something onto it.  The original lines still show.  They will never lie properly and it takes a lovely dress and makes it look somewhere between tacky and frumpy because it's always obvious it was altered.  Jill Duggar's dress may have had the best alteration job as far the fabric, but the fit was possibly worse than any of the Bates daughters so far. 

This dress actually had a lace bolero. Why not just shorten the sleeves on that and wear it over the original dress? FFS, I just don't understand these people! Given Whitney did this exact same thing, not out of the realm of acceptance. It just seems that our little Michael, just like Jilly Muffin, is a raging prude. 

[Coconut Flan]

Did you see all that garb she had on while trying on the dresses?  She had a camisole kind of thing plus a long sleeved lace top on with almost all of the dresses. 

[nelliebelle1197]

2 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

I didn't like Whit's bolero either.  That's all I focused on in the photos (she was beautiful otherwise).   

Anna's dress problem is that it was her sister's dress (nothing wrong with that), but it was made/altered to fit her sister and not her and it just didn't look right.  It would have been a better dress if it fit her (and it was probably better on her sister).

I wonder what Michaella's dress would have looked like if she married during the matching frumper days.  (Or the bridesmaids for that matter--- I wasn't the biggest fan of her bridesmaids dresses though, they would have been better as knee length).

That was Esther's dress, right? That poor dress sure started off some great matches, huh? It has been speculated that her parents could not afford anything new. 

I wonder if there will be Pecan Family sightings at Michael's wedding?

 

27 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Did you all that garb she had on while trying on the dresses?  She had a camisole kind of thing plus a long sleeved lace top on with almost all of the dresses. 

The Bates, Duggars, and the rest of their ilk are just so immodest. They really are.

[Alye]

1 hour ago, picklepizzas said:

huh. this is such a good point - why hasn't some enterprising fundie woman done this? a lot of them seem to be skilled seamstresses, and it's the sort of thing you could start from online - you know, a womanly home-enterprise. 

 

also has anyone discussed how interesting it is that this episode on heading to the alter (http://www.batesfamilyblog.com/2016/01/bringing-up-bates-schedule-change.html) features all of the couples' engagements except john and alyssa? i'm curious as to whether its because another network owns the video of their wedding, or if it's because they're truly pulling away from the show, as others have suggested here before. 

I can just imagine someone setting up a tent at Big Sandy with samples. 

[Mela99]

Anybody have a good shot of Elissa's dress? I'm curious now that people have mentioned it.

Prissy had a nice gown but it still weirds me out that David was the one that shopped for it. 

[HRM1216]

@Mela99    http://blog.titus2.com/tag/joseph-elissa/ has some links to their wedding with tons of pictures of the dress. Obviously without the spaces between the periods. 

[Mela99]

I'm surprised - that's a pretty dress. 

[Exjw2015deed]

Famy Duggar and Lawson need to make an album together. Why are they both always so flat when they sing? It really bothers me because they're always constantly singing. I need this to stop!!.... Mmhmmm....Thinking of a snarky album name. 

[pnwgypsy]

13 hours ago, accountingstar said:

 

Looking forward to the episode.

 

Finally a good close up of the modesty top.  Does anyone have a link or pic of what the dress looked like originally?  Do you think Michael liked how it turned out?  I thought it was weird how she *ALWAYS* had her hair in front of her shoulders on both sides.  Maybe it's just me, but that annoys the heck out of me.  I felt like she was trying to hide the bodice of her dress.  ???

[isarhenne]

Poor Michaela, it seems like she is more into Brandon than Brandon is into her. I just got that feeling watching their courtship and engagement phase.

As for the wedding dresses: Honestly I thought Anna Duggar's dress was the best out of all of them. It fit her nicely, was not too big or too small. If you think about it: it was the most timeless of all of them, modest, not over the top. I liked it best. Jessa's dress e.g. was too big, Jill's didn't "hang" right on her. Alyssa's dress was also nice, though.

Also I liked the bridesmaids dresses at Anna's wedding best, the design and the colors were to nice, very timeless because there will be a time when half length bridesmaids dresses with lace will be out of style and look sooooo 2013-ish. Remember the 80's style weddings and what the photo's look like now? It's just too trendy. IMO you shouldn't go too trendy on a wedding. Timeless is the key word!

[nokidsmom]

I had wondered exactly what was done to Michael's dress and finally a close up.   Yeah, it's like some top tacked over it.  Given Michael was shown trying out non strapless but sleeveless dresses my guess is a sleeveless dress is under there.   But there's no disguising that it was altered, the beading / fabric pattern on the dress abruptly stops just under the alteration.

Out of all the Bateseseses girls' dresses I think Alyssa's looked the best.  While still clearly an alteration and it looked like the original strapless gown sat higher on her with a wide strap / sleeve added on top, it didn't mess as much with the dress design.  Erin's was horrible.  The dress as original designed was beautiful but that t-shirt style alteration on top just ruined it.  Whitney's dress was similar style to Erin's and she did the right thing by simply adding the bolero.   Not big on boleros myself but in this case it was a good choice to make it more modest and it was December after all.

Jessa's dress was just great.  It was a dress that met the modesty standards as designed and I love the champagne color.  I really wonder why fundies don't go the route of getting an LDS style.   Many of them are really pretty and while it might be more money, you can find styles that are reasonably priced.   

 

[nickelodeon]

Michael did her bridesmaids sooooo dirty with those dresses. Justice for Erin!

[Pretzel]

Jessa's dress was so unique and beautiful. I guess if Jessa had the real chance of getting out of the cult and speaking her mind, she'd be so over it all. She's too brainwashed, unfortunately. I'd love to be a fly on the wall at chez Seewald and listen to what Miss Jess has to say about all the other fundie princesses' altered wedding dresses. I strongly assume that she finds them all hideous and hates the alterations, hence her own already-modest-dress. Didn't she even hint at hating alterations in the dress-episode of 19 KaC? 

Whitney's was pretty and appropriate for December, but her hair (especially the bangs) looked a little off. Erin's dress was nice and elegant, but the alterations were so obvious and the fabric didn't match the original dress. I love blue but I don't think it makes for particularly nice wedding color and the cold shade added to the weird look of the alterations. 

Jill's dress looked great on her in the store, but she should've gotten a better fitting. It just sat a little loosely on her. Hair, however, looked appropriate for her vintage-hippie-crossover wedding. 

Anna's dress belonged to her sister Rebekah, who wore it several years prior to the Smuggar wedding. She has a different figure than Anna and I would bet it looked better on her. I'm a firm believer in not wearing a used wedding dress. If you're too cheap to at least get that used dress fitted, you might as well just pick any dress and call it a day. Rebekah's allegedly going through divorce currrently and look at what place the Smuggars are in their marriage now. Snark on me for saying this, but somehow it makes me think that karma is a bitch.

On the other hand, it might be argued that the marriage is important, the wedding not so much. Those fundies, however, like to brag with all their homemaking "skills" at any given opportunity. The Duggars request that cinderJana sew a gazillion ties by hand but they couldn't invest money or time in a fitting for their daughter-in-law's borrowed wedding gown back in 2008. Or if Rebekah hadn't wanted her dress fitted to her sister's body, she shouldn't have lent it out to her in the first place. There's just no proper excuse for not making the dress look great on Anna. The ramen noodle hair I don't even want to mention at this point. 

People on FJ know that I am rarely snarking on people's appearances. Nobody can change how they were born and they shouldn't feel like they should change anything. Nobody should feel like they should spend a lot of money on themselves, especially if they don't have it. Nobody should ever feel like they should celebrate their wedding the way other people want it. Really, have a big reception or just serve mints and nuts, Pretzel doesn't care. More power to you! Yet, there are a few occasions in live that stand out more than others. A wedding (especially when it is being broadcasted on TV, ffs!) is one of those occasions. At least use the resources you have to make the best of it. There must have been one girl great at sewing or doing other people's hair. One person, who could've done something to top off Anna's appearance on her wedding day. 

Priscilla on the other hand, while already being a very gorgeous girl, looked simply stunning. Her dress came in a T-shirt style, yet it looked elegant, fitted, and made her look the best on her big day. Priscilla always surprises me with how great, mature, and even a little business-y she can look. 

[19 cats and counting]

IIRC Anna's bridesmaids dresses (one of the best in terms of fundie bridesmaids dresses) were made by Priscilla and the J-slaves.  If they could make the bridesmaids dresses, they could have made or altered her dress too.

[nausicaa]

16 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

THIS. I went to high school with LDS twins who are both married now, and I was super tempted to pin their wedding photos to my Pretending I'm Not Going to Die Alone Wedding Board because both of their dresses were GORGEOUS. Very 1930s and elegant. I don't understand why anyone still goes with the Bridal T-Shirt style anymore when there are so many lovely options that cover what needs to be covered but still look fashion-forward.

I really think that if Michael got the dress with a topper or a bolero instead of that awkward and obvious alteration, or just went to a store that sold modest dresses, she would have looked gorgeous. She looked gorgeous regardless, but she would have looked more gorgeous.

...totally renaming my board now. 

And completely agree on the gorgeous LDS options out there. I have two Mormon friends that had amazing, completely different dresses that would fit all of the Fundie modesty requirements. Same goes for the Orthodox Jewish wedding dresses I've seen. 

[just...sare]

7 hours ago, isarhenne said:

Poor Michaela, it seems like she is more into Brandon than Brandon is into her. I just got that feeling watching their courtship and engagement phase.

[snip]

I got that vibe as well. Michaela seemed to be head over heels smitten with Brandon from the moment she laid eyes on him, which makes me wonder if fundies' gaydar is broken. He's more like Chad than TFDW, but I got the impression he leans more towards the gents than the ladies, and Michaela is a pretty girly girl. For her sake alone I hope I'm wrong. From her IG posts she still seems blissfully happy, but obviously those are just PR.

[nastyhobbitses]

9 minutes ago, just...sare said:

I got that vibe as well. Michaela seemed to be head over heels smitten with Brandon from the moment she laid eyes on him, which makes me wonder if fundies' gaydar is broken. He's more like Chad than TFDW, but I got the impression he leans more towards the gents than the ladies, and Michaela is a pretty girly girl. For her sake alone I hope I'm wrong. From her IG posts she still seems blissfully happy, but obviously those are just PR.

I think he obviously cares about her. I'm hoping it will be a bit like Queen Victoria and Prince Albert (minus her having power, of course) -- they have a good, happy relationship, but it's clear that she's head-over-heels smitten, OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, let's have sex ALL THE TIME, and he loves her and cares for her but is more low-key/realistic about it. The amount of affection is lopsided, but that doesn't mean that he isn't a good husband.

Also, Brandon reminds me of Ders from Workaholics for some reason.

[just...sare]

10 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I think he obviously cares about her. I'm hoping it will be a bit like Queen Victoria and Prince Albert (minus her having power, of course) -- they have a good, happy relationship, but it's clear that she's head-over-heels smitten, OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, let's have sex ALL THE TIME, and he loves her and cares for her but is more low-key/realistic about it. The amount of affection is lopsided, but that doesn't mean that he isn't a good husband.

Also, Brandon reminds me of Ders from Workaholics for some reason.

I think Brandon seems like a nice enough guy to want to make her happy, even if that's not necessarily the life he'd have chosen for himself. Which is a huge thing to do for someone else, but in the context of the life he was raised to live, it's just expected.

[QuiverDance]

31 minutes ago, just...sare said:

I got that vibe as well. Michaela seemed to be head over heels smitten with Brandon from the moment she laid eyes on him, which makes me wonder if fundies' gaydar is broken. He's more like Chad than TFDW, but I got the impression he leans more towards the gents than the ladies, and Michaela is a pretty girly girl. For her sake alone I hope I'm wrong. From her IG posts she still seems blissfully happy, but obviously those are just PR.

They are so WEIRD.  I am totally creeped out by both of them.  They both seem like robot people.  

http://brandonlovesmichaela.com/our-story/

Reading the above... It's just icky.  And the way Brandon talks about surrendering the decision about marriage to God screams repression to me.  

[just...sare]

2 minutes ago, QuiverDance said:

They are so WEIRD.  I am totally creeped out by both of them.  They both seem like robot people.  

http://brandonlovesmichaela.com/our-story/

Reading the above... It's just icky.  And the way Brandon talks about surrendering the decision about marriage to God screams repression to me.  

She's like Anne of Green Gables steeped in Kool-Aid; a complete romantic with her heart set on godly marital bliss, and she chose Brandon as her victim partner, no matter what she says about leaving it up to God. She set her sights on him from the get-go. And Brandon, who by definition of his job and his upbringing, has to marry a godly girl and toe the line, didn't stand a chance - but at least he ended up with a girl who openly adores him. I doubt she's secretly controlling like Jessa or crazy-eyed like Sierra. If anything, she's clingy like Jill, which has its own downsides, but she doesn't seem to be following him to work everyday, so that's something.

[QuiverDance]

Yes!  She doth protest wayyyyyy too much with all the "I would never let on that I was interested in him because only wanton  hussies like my sister Erin would do that."

I know I may be off base but I get a definite catty vibe going on between the three oldest Bates girls.  

[nastyhobbitses]

2 minutes ago, just...sare said:

I think Brandon seems like a nice enough guy to want to make her happy, even if that's not necessarily the life he'd have chosen for himself. Which is a huge thing to do for someone else, but in the context of the life he was raised to live, it's just expected.

I know that we (quite rightly) talk a lot about the impact this extremely patriarchal way of life has on the romantic and sexual relationships of women who are part of it, but I do think it's worth noting that it's a lot of pressure for men as well. They have to be big strong breadwinners (but only in a Godly industry aka working for ol' Billy the Perv or Jim Boob) and provide for child after child, most likely while married to a woman they barely knew before getting engaged (and that woman has been trained all her life to see you -- the man -- as her God-given soulmate, even if she barely knows you). Want to marry someone you love? Too bad, you're marrying this fundie girl your parents picked out for you (or her parents shoved in front of you). Don't want to have sex all the time and then provide for the resulting children? You're messing with God's plan! Gay? Hide that shit and enter a loveless marriage, spending your days feeling guilty for lying to her and to yourself. You could pull a John-David and just quietly live as a bachelor, but it's hard to pull that off.

There are plenty of guys who see how they benefit from Gothard's cult and perversely enjoy the combination of control over women and the knowledge that saying Jeebus forgave you pretty much gives you carte blanche to do whatever you want, but I'd hazard that there are also plenty of guys who didn't choose their lives in the Gothard cult and are forced/coerced/pressured into marriages they didn't really want/were ready for with women they don't really know, and then are expected to have enough money to care for a dozen children and be sexually virile enough to make that many children. (I think Josh very neatly shows both sides of this -- I do think that he was very likely pressured to marry Anna when he didn't really know or love her, I think he very clearly didn't want tons of children like she did yet he was expected to give her babies and then pay for them, but he's also a complete scumbag who took advantage of his place in the social order of Gothardism to hurt and degrade women, and the pressures and expectations on him don't in any way excuse his actions)