Lori Alexander - Still Not Learning A Thing, Part 4

[Mrsaztx]

Why would an adult be allowing a child to scratch them until they are bloody? That's not a lack of spanking, that's a lack of anything. Two year old children don't have freaking talons, they have thin, papery little nails that can maybe scratch an infant sibling or another toddler (generally not enough to draw blood) but certainly can't cover the hands of an adult male with "bloody scratches" unless said man is sitting there allowing it. Here's an idea, instead of spanking you kid, cut her nails? Or don't, because this whole story is made up nonsense that happened in Lori's crazy head.

[Grimalkin]

    Imagine playing at the park with your toddler and chatting with a grandparent, you ohh and awww about how cute eachother's kids are, how does the conversation turn to spanking? If my kid was having a tantrum or Misbehaving and someone lectured me about discipline I would be so annoyed. 

      So, does Lori spank her grandchildren?

[Koala]

She's truly a monster.  She's in the comments now saying that a spanking won't be felt if it's done through clothing.  

You are disgusting Lori.  

[2xx1xy1JD]

On 2016-01-29 at 10:00 AM, Loveday said:

Once again, Lori is on her judgmental, do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do modesty soapbox. This time it's directed towards Christian women, not women in general. I picture Lori sitting in church on a Sunday morning, her eyes darting eagerly from one woman to the next, taking gleeful note of their clothing choices and nudging Ken whenever she sees a neckline that is slightly lower than she thinks it should be (I'm sure Ken appreciates the heads'-up!  ).

And where in the Bible does God tell us this, Lori? " Don't spend a lot of money on your clothes since this is forbidden by the Lord."  "Costly array" doesn't mean we can only buy our clothes at the thrift store.

In the comments of her March 28, 2014 post, Lori wrote:  Every place has their own guidelines for what modest clothing looks like. I have never been a part of a group that has the guidelines you mention.

Because the idea of wearing sleeves and necklines near the collarbone is way to much for Lori to handle, even though she has no problem imposing her own standards on places which clearly don't have dress codes.

[Tesseract]

Forgive me if I've already made this same comment on other Lori Alexander is a monster threads. I have always thought, in addition to all her other crazy, that she/they don't own their kink and it comes out in all kinds disgusting and inappropriate ways!! 

[usmcmom]

Quote

Ken · 23 minutes ago

I believe that consistency can be as effective as spanking, or more effective when spanking is done wrong. But there are times when a good swat on the bottom gets the child's respect faster and easier than time outs and early to bed.

Many non-spanking parents are yellers or demeaning in their language towards their child, especially as they get older. This is far worse than a swat or two on the behind.

WHOA!  Back up the train there, fella

So, yelling and demeaning language are far worse on a child than spanking, yet verbal abuse toward a wife from her husband is something which she should just endure because it doesn't hurt her at all?

Please explain the difference, Ken. 

[usmcmom]

Back to yesterday's post on abuse:

Quote

About the domestic violence issue, My husband and i have both witnessed women intentionally provocing their other half, or even a complete male stranger, daring them to hit them,or pushing them and getting right up in their face, or she is acting totally stupid and the only way to grab their attention is to firmly grab their arm or wrist and tell them to settle down and when the male explodes they start crying abuse!. And im talking about a large number

The above is from AnonM.  I just have to ask...where are they spending their time??  'Cause my husband and I go out quite a bit; we have a fairly large social circle and lots of social engagements and I've NEVER seen this. 

Perhaps she's seen this stuff at her place of work, which leads to a great mystery: what does AnonM do? Is she:

a bartender?

a stripper?

a bouncer?

a parole officer?

a prison guard?

delusional?

[caszandra]

8 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

So, yelling and demeaning language are far worse on a child than spanking, yet verbal abuse toward a wife from her husband is something which she should just endure because it doesn't hurt her at all?

The hypocrisy burns.  These two make me sick to my stomach.  How long will it take before someone is really hurt by the 'advice' that monster spouts?  But of course it won't be her fault at all, the mental gymnastics will come to the rescue and their 'advice' will have been read wrong.

[OnceUponATime]

on Ken's comment - I feel it should be written as follows: Some Many non-spanking parents, regardless of whether they spank or not, are yellers or demeaning in their language towards their child, especially as they get older.

Has Lori ever posted what 'good' spanking/punishment looks like? or when she feels that it turns into abuse?
 

[Florita]

4 hours ago, usmcmom said:

It's interesting to me that Lori labels the actions of a child as "sin" yet totally minimizes the viewing of pornography, verbal abuse, spousal abuse and adultery.  And I couldn't agree more with the previous poster who pointed out how Ken threw such a tantrum over the names FJ called Lori.  If words are harmless, what was he doing here??

Add to the bolded: child molestation including the incestuous kind (Josh).

Booky has a new spot-on post regarding the Horse of Truth: 

https://signpostsstrangeland.wordpress.com/2016/02/01/twisters-of-words/

[Koala]

Just going to leave these here so The Godly Monster can't delete them later.

A reader advising people to hit their babies and special needs children:

Quote

Michelle, I have watched as my 6 month old pitched a massive fit. One quick sharp smack to the top of the leg put a quick stop to it. But once they have calmed down they got lots of cuddles and kisses. And it never left a mark and was never done in anger. 

All of my 8 children are fine. And very affectionate. As for special needs children, I have grown up with siblings with autism and I have a special needs child myself. My mother used to give excuses when my sister would have angry outbursts or do something else wrong. ' oh, it's not her fault, it's the autism.' But we all knew she knew exactly what she was doing wrong and was quite pleased she was getting away with it. 

My daughter also responds to smacking. Most people think she doesn't understand but she does! You really have to gauge their level of understanding, and their response. We have a friend who has a child with Down's syndrome. She loves to throw glassware and run away from her parents, despite the danger. You can tell by the smile on her face she knows exactly what she is doing. But her parents won't smack her for it. Every special needs child is different. Some respond to spankings, some don't. Some would respond to it, but their parents are doing it wrong, they get a bad response and so they give up.

Lori saying spankings can't be felt through clothes:

Reader

Quote

I spank my kids, but very rarely. And I would only ever use my hand and through their clothing. My mom spanked us with my dad's belt and pants pulled down...I feel that was very wrong. 

Lori:

Quote

I don't even think children would feel it through their clothing, Tiffany! We didn't do it through our children's clothing and it was very effective! 

Oh, and now the 2 year old in the story is only 1:

Quote

All those things you mentioned wouldn't stop a little girl who wasn't even quite 2 years old stop scratching her dad's hands until they bled but a hard smack on the hands sure would. 

 

[Koala]

Lori responds to the mom who hits her daughter with autism:

Quote

I have seen this too; special needs children not being disciplined at all and resenting their parents when they are all grown up for their lack of discipline. The more you can treat them as normal children, the better they usually turn out to be as adults. It seems all the labels they give out to children makes it more difficult on the children. I'm not saying this for all children but a lot that I have seen.

 

[littlemommy]

Uggggh, I hate it, and I hate her. I'm surprised she doesn't advocate spanking grown up special needs people. Why not? Go ahead, Lori, be ALL THE WAY grotesque. I was a social worker before I had kids and read a lot of messed up stuff in the clients' files. Even staff members in the 1990's were having people stand in corners when they acted up, and that's one of the milder examples.

[Hane]

8 hours ago, polecat said:

 

The gaslighting from *other people* can make abuse just that much worse because you feel so incredibly alone -- like there is not one person who understands or even believes you. And you start questioning your own experiences and thoughts. It's easier to pretend that everything is okay because admitting that it's not okay opens YOU up to criticism. Even though you've done nothing wrong ... 

 

So much this. Back in the '70s when we were getting our local domestic violence task force started, a woman at a conference told this story:

"He had beaten me up and I had a black eye and a split lip, so I staggered over to my friend's house for help. After I told her what he'd done, she just kept repeating, 'But Charlie is such a nice guy!"

A young woman at a support group wanted to get the nerve to leave her adulterous abusive husband, but her mother told her, "You just don't go divorcing your husband!"

This took place in a southern New England area where fundies were absolutely unheard of.

 

[sophie10130]

12 minutes ago, littlemommy said:

Uggggh, I hate it, and I hate her. I'm surprised she doesn't advocate spanking grown up special needs people. Why not? Go ahead, Lori, be ALL THE WAY grotesque. I was a social worker before I had kids and read a lot of messed up stuff in the clients' files. Even staff members in the 1990's were having people stand in corners when they acted up, and that's one of the milder examples.

Some nasty shit still happens in public schools to this day. Last year I read a story where they tied a 5 year old kid up. He had special needs and he was considered too disruptive, and that's what they decided was the best course of action.

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Some respond to spankings, some don't. Some would respond to it, but their parents are doing it wrong, they get a bad response and so they give up.

So they didn't hit them right so they should keep doing it until they find the "right" way to smack their SPECIAL NEEDS kid?

 

Take these children away from all of these monsters. They don't even give good reasons to spank. Just that it works quickly and you don't ever have to really put any thought or care or love into raising your child to be a good kid.

[December]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Just going to leave these here so The Godly Monster can't delete them later.

A reader advising people to hit their babies and special needs children:

Quote

Michelle, I have watched as my 6 month old pitched a massive fit. One quick sharp smack to the top of the leg put a quick stop to it. But once they have calmed down they got lots of cuddles and kisses. And it never left a mark and was never done in anger. 

 

The part that I bolded disturbed me. If it's so right in their eyes, why does it matter if it does/doesn't leave a mark? Because this way there's no solid evidence (like a bruise) to other people that the child was smacked? 

I'm clumsy and sometimes I bump into stuff. It doesn't always leave a mark, but that doesn't mean it doesn't always hurt a lot...

[laPapessaGiovanna]

She's a true funking monster and her sheeples are as monstrous as her! How on earth can this people intepret a little child's mischievous smile when he playfully pushes the boundaries like a disruptive willingness to do something evil. Ignorant unempathetic  monsters! 

[Koala]

She is a sick woman.  I am so disturbed by the things she is advocating for.  Her obsession with spanking is absolutely vile, and the things she is suggesting are criminal.  This all has a very creepy overtone to me. I'm just not sure how her readers don't see that's she just a little too interested in spanking.  She goes into graphic detail and jokes about Ken and Debbi Pearl spanking her.

I have never been one to jump on the Lori is a Monster bandwagon, but truly she is.  Who the fuck thinks it's okay to hit a special needs child?
 

 

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

Just going to leave these here so The Godly Monster can't delete them later.

A reader advising people to hit their babies and special needs children:

Lori saying spankings can't be felt through clothes:

Reader

Lori:

Oh, and now the 2 year old in the story is only 1:

 

Wow, this is interesting. We already know that Lori and Ken had a four-hour session with each of their toddlers, where they hit them with a leather strap till they obeyed. Now we hear that hitting took place on bare skin?

[Koala]

7 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Wow, this is interesting. We already know that Lori and Ken had a four-hour session with each of their toddlers, where they hit them with a leather strap till they obeyed. Now we hear that hitting took place on bare skin?

Yes and she has been quoted here telling other moms to do the same to their children.

[refugee]

9 hours ago, polecat said:

That goes without saying. If the wife doesn't want to be called a stupid, fat, ugly cow, then she needs to read more (in between having 13 kids, doing 2 loads of laundry a day, cooking three nourishing meals daily, cleaning up after said meals and kids, and providing her husband 10 minutes and lube nightly), lose weight and start using more Younique/Avon (or whatever the cosmetic of choice for discerning fundies is right now). 

Lori and Ken remind me of all the gaslighters I've known over the years. You know, the ones who convince you that you're making a mountain out of a molehill. He's cutting you down and humiliating you publicly? Maybe he is really just teasing! We all know boys show their interest by being mean! (ugh). He's screaming and name-calling because you forgot to put the laundry in the dryer? Maybe he just had a tough day at work and you just made it tougher. He threw all the food in the trash because you were five minutes late with dinner? I suspect you're exaggerating. Your feelings are hurt because he told you that you were getting a bit broad in the caboose? Stop being so sensitive. 

The gaslighting from *other people* can make abuse just that much worse because you feel so incredibly alone -- like there is not one person who understands or even believes you. And you start questioning your own experiences and thoughts. It's easier to pretend that everything is okay because admitting that it's not okay opens YOU up to criticism. Even though you've done nothing wrong ... 

 

Mary Kay, wouldn't it be? I mean, it's an MLM after all. Or maybe she's supposed to make her own makeup using Young Living Oils.

And don't forget homeschooling the 13 kids.

Gaslighting. I am so over that. My spouse doesn't do it any more, but when we were in patriarchy, he did it all the time, because of the brainwashing he was getting, too. Put-downs and public humiliation. Teasing, right? And men are supposed to be the prophets (speaking the truth, forget about the love), priests (enforcing the holiness standards), and kings (authoritay and respect -- no need to earn respect, he's entitled to it, no matter how much of a jerk) in their homes.

I am so glad we're out of that toxic culture. We can actually talk now, and share our feelings, and listen to each other. I know not all couples have such a happy ending. I'm just glad the damage has been reversible in our case.

[Grimalkin]

I keep starting a response then.........what can you say?

i am not totally against spanking, but hearing them brag about it and taking pleasure in spanking changes my mind. What the heck. What kind of daughter in law is okay with Lori watching her kids?

[Koala]

14 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

What kind of daughter in law is okay with Lori watching her kids?

One who forces her daughter to sit on a blanket and watch her and her husband eat?  Or perhaps one who allowed her husband for force feed her baby?  That's just a guess though

When Ken was here he said:

Quote

My wife is learning and growing and we have some things to clean up in the area of spankings on her blog. You have convinced me of that.

Hey Ken?  It's time to clean house again.  

I think we "convinced you of that" before because we quoted the hell out of her.  Well now she has been quoted endorsing hitting special needs children.  

Remember how I told you before that Lori was wayyyyyy more invested in spanking than you understood? Well today should convince you of that, because even after you had to go on a deleting spree after your time here, she still hasn't learned.  She is in the park begging strangers to tell her whether they spank their children and trying to convince them to try it when she finds out they don't.  This is a 1 year old that we're talking about, and Lori is running around prattling like she had the capability of causing bloody scratches on her father.  BULLSHIT!  Lori needs to mind her own damn business and WATCH HER GRANDCHILDREN! Who was taking care of them while she was asking this man if his parents spanked him?? Who is The Godly Monster to create strife in this man's marriage by encouraging him to do something he and his wife have agreed not do?  Do you hear how twisted this sounds??  Start asking yourself Ken- why is this so important to her.   She's a sick, sick woman.

[polecat]

5 hours ago, Koala said:

She's truly a monster.  She's in the comments now saying that a spanking won't be felt if it's done through clothing.  

You are disgusting Lori.  

So then why do it? And where does that leave her "Just hit harder" advice?

[refugee]

Just now, polecat said:

So then why do it? And where does that leave her "Just hit harder" advice?

I wonder if you misunderstood? I did, until I read the comments in context. She appeared to be saying that children can't feel spanking through clothes, which makes it necessary to pull down their pants and spank on bare skin in order for a spanking to be effective,