If You Could Say Anything to Anna, What Would it be?

[alatariel]

This isn't your fault. Nothing you did or didn't do would have changed his actions; he's an adult who made choices that have hurt a lot of people and all of that's on him. You are not responsible for the things he's done.

You and your children deserve better. You deserve to be treated with respect.

[Coco]

Would Jesus treat you the way that your husband treated you? If not then it's wrong to believe that Jesus wants you to keep taking the beating emotionally and spiritually.

"For I know the plans I have for you,†declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,†declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity."

[Dandruff]

I'd offer to listen to her, patiently, no matter what she had to say.

I'd tell her that Josh can't be trusted. Who hasn't he betrayed? He repeatedly chose to indulge his own desires at the expense of those closest to him. Staying with him will mean always having to wonder about her own well-being and that of her children.

I'd suggest that she tell anyone who blames her to shove it, hard.

[NormalBikiniWearingMom]

Remember Jesus gave you an out when your spouse commits adultery. You are in the clear and can leave. You aren't the first woman to have been betrayed -- there's a whole planet of women who will support you

[centernova]

No matter what people around you might be telling you, this is in no way your fault.

Nothing that you did, said, or thought caused Josh to behave the way that he did. He chose to act selfishly, and that's on him, not on you. It was entirely his decision, and anyone that blames you for a decision he made is in the wrong.

You need to take care of yourself and your children right now. That means that you need to get tested for STDs, and you and Kynzie need to talk to mainstream therapists. You need to do it so you can process your feelings in a healthy way, and Kynzie might be blaming herself for what happened. She needs to know that this is absolutely not her fault.

Talk to your sisters who have left IBLP/ATI/Gothardism. Go stay with one of them for a while. I'm sure that they would be glad to have you.

You're not going to like this, but I suggest blocking calls from your in-laws for a while. They're looking out for themselves, and not for you. Talk to them only when you feel ready - do it on Anna time, not Duggar time.

If you choose to leave, you're not alone. You aren't the first woman who has left a cheating husband, and there are tons of resources out there for you. Seek them out. You won't be alone in that process.

ETA: blessalessi brought up a good point, so I'm going to add this: 'please tell me to shut up and go away if that is what you need.'

[blessalessi]

I wouldn't say anything to her. I think she can do without the world's platitudes and advice right now.

I'd listen, if she wanted to talk. I'd respect her totally if she wanted me to fuck off and leave her alone.

[Seven]

I've never liked you. I think you are weak and were drawn into Duggar Land with stars in your eyes. So many could see how gross of a husband Josh was to you, how his sisters didn't respect you, how you were trained to prance in front of the camera, and you did all of this as was expected of you. You liked the money and the attention and the free trips. You lost your pride during this circus but you didn't realize it because the ride was so wild.

But now it's time to grow up and be the person you should have become at 18. You have 4 kids with this loser. These kids are having thier fathers disgusting behaviors plastered all over the media. Your daughters may grow up and wonder what their fathers intentions were to them. They may feel weird about innocent interactions with him because he is a molester. Your sons are going to learn that all you have to do is apologize after any crime and all will be forgiven. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission. But you can end this idiotic cycle. You can leave. You can still go to school. You can raise good children away from Duggar Land.

I am sadly certain you will stay. You will come out with some statement that says you and Josh prayed and talked and had religious counseling and now things are better than ever between the two of you. You will blame everything but Josh. You will have as many kids as you can like it's some weird competition. I will lose the pity I feel for you right now and have verification that you are weak.

[SPHASH]

Anna, Josh's sins are not your fault. However I can't feel sorry for you because you were made aware of the abuse he inflicted upon his sisters and friend but you chose to marry him anyway. If you choose to stay I still cannot feel sorry for you. I can only have sympathy for people who have self respect and right now you have none. The only ones I feel sorry for are Mack, Mike, Marc, and Merideth because they have a douchecanoe for a father and an fucktard for a mother.

[SPHASH]

I've never liked you. I think you are weak and were drawn into Duggar Land with stars in your eyes. So many could see how gross of a husband Josh was to you, how his sisters didn't respect you, how you were trained to prance in front of the camera, and you did all of this as was expected of you. You liked the money and the attention and the free trips. You lost your pride during this circus but you didn't realize it because the ride was so wild.

But now it's time to grow up and be the person you should have become at 18. You have 4 kids with this loser. These kids are having thier fathers disgusting behaviors plastered all over the media. Your daughters may grow up and wonder what their fathers intentions were to them. They may feel weird about innocent interactions with him because he is a molester. Your sons are going to learn that all you have to do is apologize after any crime and all will be forgiven. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission. But you can end this idiotic cycle. You can leave. You can still go to school. You can raise good children away from Duggar Land.

I am sadly certain you will stay. You will come out with some statement that says you and Josh prayed and talked and had religious counseling and now things are better than ever between the two of you. You will blame everything but Josh. You will have as many kids as you can like it's some weird competition. I will lose the pity I feel for you right now and have verification that you are weak.

+1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

[Peas n carrots]

Anna, you can't put out the Duggar Dumpster Fire. It's time to call your brother and Candice and get you and your 4 kids out of NWA. Cheaters gonna cheat and no amount of Jesus will permanently cure that problem.

[from the bible belt]

I've never liked you. I think you are weak and were drawn into Duggar Land with stars in your eyes. So many could see how gross of a husband Josh was to you, how his sisters didn't respect you, how you were trained to prance in front of the camera, and you did all of this as was expected of you. You liked the money and the attention and the free trips. You lost your pride during this circus but you didn't realize it because the ride was so wild.

But now it's time to grow up and be the person you should have become at 18. You have 4 kids with this loser. These kids are having thier fathers disgusting behaviors plastered all over the media. Your daughters may grow up and wonder what their fathers intentions were to them. They may feel weird about innocent interactions with him because he is a molester. Your sons are going to learn that all you have to do is apologize after any crime and all will be forgiven. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission. But you can end this idiotic cycle. You can leave. You can still go to school. You can raise good children away from Duggar Land.

I am sadly certain you will stay. You will come out with some statement that says you and Josh prayed and talked and had religious counseling and now things are better than ever between the two of you. You will blame everything but Josh. You will have as many kids as you can like it's some weird competition. I will lose the pity I feel for you right now and have verification that you are weak.

Wowwwww, just wowwwwww. Who are you to judge her feelings or thoughts?

Give the girl a break, she knows nothing else and this is just falling upon her. Her world since childhood is this and what she knows. She has never learned how to deal with this (and hell, it isn't even in my book, my parents never trained me how to work through worldwide publication of my life)

[Walking Cat Bed]

Josh has already broken his marriage vows to you.

HE has broken your marriage.

You are not responsible for fixing what HE broke.

Seeing a counselor or therapist who you are not related to and who does not lead your church in any way will do you good. At the very least, they will listen to YOU and give advice based on YOUR needs.

And go to a women's health clinic to get tested.

[TheJewAmongUs]

I would confront her on her ignorant social media posts on same sex marriage. Why does she get a pass just because her husband was outed as a cheater? Maybe she knew at least some of it and still chose to slam gay couples in domestic partnerships who are raising children together.

[from the bible belt]

I would confront her on her ignorant social media posts on same sex marriage. Why does she get a pass just because her husband was outed as a cheater? Maybe she knew at least some of it and still chose to slam gay couples in domestic partnerships who are raising children together.

How the heck would she know? You are very sheltered in a cult or bible belt even like this. It is not like my sons who have full access to the www and having talks about it. She only knows what she has been told

Okay, before i get cald out for being a leghumper i will try to back out but i think people judge to soon but if your world is so limited it is a hell of a job to get yourself informed and make up your own mind

[gilora]

Get tested for STDs immediately. If you stay with him, go on birth control and don't have any more kids until the marriage is stable.

[SnowShine]

To quote The Big Bang Theory: "Run fast. Run far."

But since she may not be willing to do that yet, I'd advise her to set some boundaries, to say to Josh, I forgave you for your sisters--strike 1. I'll forgive you for this--strike 2. You'll be out on strike 3."

And I would advise her to get tested.

[ILoveJellybeans]

It is not your fault. You deserve better than this and did not do anything to cause it.

[Seven]

How the heck would she know? You are very sheltered in a cult or bible belt even like this. It is not like my sons who have full access to the www and having talks about it. She only knows what she has been told

Okay, before i get cald out for being a leghumper i will try to back out but i think people judge to soon but if your world is so limited it is a hell of a job to get yourself informed and make up your own mind

Yes bible belt you are a leg humper. People are being honest about what they would say, which is what this post is about. Duggars put their opinions all over the place, and leghumpers - like you - proclaim that they have every right to say what they want, to judge people of different sexual denominations, that they (duggars) don't know any better, that this was just how they were raised. So why not nod your head and defend these statements of free speech, or other opinions based on how I was raised? Oh that's right, because you are leghumping right now.

[blessalessi]

I don't know anything about ftbb's posting history but I don't see a leghumper here, as much as someone who is able to extend compassion to another human being who must be going through hell right now.

For sure, say what you want "to Anna", but if others have different thoughts, they may express them too.

[from the bible belt]

Yes bible belt you are a leg humper. People are being honest about what they would say, which is what this post is about. Duggars put their opinions all over the place, and leghumpers - like you - proclaim that they have every right to say what they want, to judge people of different sexual denominations, that they (duggars) don't know any better, that this was just how they were raised. So why not nod your head and defend these statements of free speech, or other opinions based on how I was raised? Oh that's right, because you are leghumping right now.

Thanks, i am a official leg humper right now. That's okay, that is what i got from freedom of speech. I will own it and be proud of it.

[kariberi]

Do not blame yourself. You cannot control or be held accountable for his actions. Only Josh is responsible for his actions. I know you are at a hard place, having four kids and nothing to your name except for the Duggar Legacy. You deserve better, you have a college degree, use it, women raise their children alone all the time and get out of bad relationships. He broke a serious wedding vow. Who cares what others think. you need to put yourself and your children in a safe enviroment and move on with your life. I hope you find a safe house and get far away from Josh and the patriarcy..

forgive my spelling!

:)

[jerkit]

Get an STD test for you and your children (in case she inadvertently passed it on during pregnancy)

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Thanks, i am a official leg humper right now. That's okay, that is what i got from freedom of speech. I will own it and be proud of it.

Yeah, except that you're not. At least based on what you've expressed at FJ. If it turns out you have a poster of Jim-Bob over your bed I'll retract my defense.

Understanding that people can have a limited worldview is rational and compassionate.

Although you know who is a leghumper? Shhhh...don't let her know you're looking but check out BlessaLessi's tag. And she's vigorous about it.

[blessalessi]

I enjoyed my time as a Degreed Law Professional so much, too.

How the mighty have fallen.... :P

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I enjoyed my time as a Degreed Law Professional so much, too.

How the mighty have fallen.... :P

I know, right? I should add this to my resume before I love this credential.