Teri's 30 days of "First Day of School"

[ladyaudley]

Oh Teri, gimme a fucking break. I'm going to be getting to know 150 new pupils next Thursday, issue them all with jotters and tell them how the classroom is going to be run. Getting your 8 children dressed and round a table is really not a big deal, especially if they are terrified of their father who'll just beat them if they disobey you. But YEAH HOMESCHOOL! TOTES better than public school.

:angry-banghead:

[FloraKitty35]

Oh Teri, gimme a fucking break. I'm going to be getting to know 150 new pupils next Thursday, issue them all with jotters and tell them how the classroom is going to be run. Getting your 8 children dressed and round a table is really not a big deal, especially if they are terrified of their father who'll just beat them if they disobey you. But YEAH HOMESCHOOL! TOTES better than public school.

:angry-banghead:

:clap:

[Howl]

The thing that struck me most about her post is how she says the kids "felt behind" after the first day due to the distractions or whatever.

They are kids. They aren't going to know if they are behind unless their teacher mom tells them they are. They aren't going to feel upset and stressed at being behind unless they are berated for it or modeled that stressed behavior. I can only imagine what neuroses those kids developed based on Teri's annual first day of school nervous breakdowns.

I read this just as I was thinking along those same lines. Profoundly depressed mom, emotionally rigid dad, cooped up in one house, with very little meaningful interaction apart from the family (no real friends), with the extra responsibility of having to put on a good face for the outside world, because family perfection brings in the bacon.

Even now when I see pictures of Teri, there seems to be a sadness beneath it all.

[quiversR4hunting]

It's absolutely due to low attendance.

The school district I grew up with still has Nov 15 (first day of rifle deer season) also dubbed as "high holy day" It has everything to do with low student AND teacher attendance.

The district we are raising our kids in doesn't do it but a neighboring district has "fair day" it's the day the county fair is showing all the animals, so the district has it off because it is a farming district and too many kids are at the barns showing their animals.

I don't find anything wrong with these types of days off, it shows the districts know their community and willing to support some activities outside of the school.

[quiversR4hunting]

That is so weird :lol:

Summer is about 6 weeks in the UK for state schools (i.e. ones funded by the government). Private schools (i.e. ones parents pay for) usually have a bit longer, e.g. they break up at the start of July as opposed to towards the end like state schools.

Over here, we have three terms (autumn, spring and summer) with a weeks' break in each. Autumn term is Sep-Dec, Spring is Jan-Mar/Apr (dependent on when Easter is), and Summer is Apr-Jul. Exact dates differ depending on the council and sometimes even school.

The first day of school over in France is a huge event; they call it "La Rentrée". Apparently you get a list of supplies to buy and there are weeks of adverts concerning the 'must have' bags, equipment etc (they have to buy their own exercise books). Also, pretty much all French kids go back to school on the same day. They also have the different school week; school happens on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday mornings (although apparently this is changing).

I think the US as a whole country is too big to have one calendar because of the vast difference in needs. My area hunts, the above poster their area skis, etc. However, we could do a MUCH better job at a consistent number of days around the calendar. The summer off was created when we were agrarian society, we are far from that in this day and age. I would like to see a model much like what you described, 3 terms separated because when we have large breaks the loss of knowledge is huge. Also for low income students they have a huge break without consistent access to free or reduced breakfast and lunch for 5 out of 7 days of the week. School provides stability for many families in schedule, knowledge and food.

One issue facing many schools (even those in the North) for a year around schedule is heat in the schools. In the North the schools are not air-conditioned besides the office that is open all year and the computer labs. The humidity in the mid-west is bad and horrible to sit in all day if there isn't air of some sort.

This year's summer break is ridiculous. The school got out mid June (we had several snow days) and the public school kids in my state don't go back to school until September 8th this year because of a stupid state law about not starting school before labor day because of tourism. :angry-banghead: So by the time school starts my kids will have been off for 12 weeks.

Back to Teri's problem - good grief. Public and private school's first day typically do not start with lessons. it is getting books, getting the syllabus (high school), expectations, etc. Our first day of school is typically a half day so they have a shortened schedule of every class, in middle and high school, and then the next day lessons start. In the elementary, the shortened day gives everyone the time to get their desk & locker in order, meet the teacher, rules, expectations, go over the rules for the cafeteria, gym, recess, etc.

Think of all the brain power lost and/or stifled by patriarchy. So sad.

[sparkles]

Our school district, along with almost all school districts in the NY metro area, has days off for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It's purely financial since there's such a large Jewish population, too many students and teachers would be absent on those days. Spring vacation also tends to coincide with Passover. Our school year begins just after Labor Day and ends in late June.

When I was a kid, we had days off for Lincoln's and Washington's birthdays and there was no mid-winter break. That changed once they went to President's Day.

[nokidsmom]

I read this just as I was thinking along those same lines. Profoundly depressed mom, emotionally rigid dad, cooped up in one house, with very little meaningful interaction apart from the family (no real friends), with the extra responsibility of having to put on a good face for the outside world, because family perfection brings in the bacon.

Even now when I see pictures of Teri, there seems to be a sadness beneath it all.

Reading this thread and the Moody thread, tells me how profoundly depressed Teri was to the point she had real trouble functioning. I know people here often consider her complicit with Steveovah with the extreme sheltering of the kids but really seeing the depths of her depression, plus having even more children which put more stress on her, I question how capable she would have been to stand up to Steve. I grew up in a similar environment with a loving but rigid father and my mother falling into line but looking back I think she suffered from depression living in our dreary atmosphere but as time went on, no longer had the will to fight it. So I can sympathize with Teri's situation. She must have felt so trapped.

It's sad. It really is.

[mango_fandango]

Reading this thread and the Moody thread, tells me how profoundly depressed Teri was to the point she had real trouble functioning. I know people here often consider her complicit with Steveovah with the extreme sheltering of the kids but really seeing the depths of her depression, plus having even more children which put more stress on her, I question how capable she would have been to stand up to Steve. I grew up in a similar environment with a loving but rigid father and my mother falling into line but looking back I think she suffered from depression living in our dreary atmosphere but as time went on, no longer had the will to fight it. So I can sympathize with Teri's situation. She must have felt so trapped.

It's sad. It really is.

This. 100% this. People say she was complicit, but... Steve is her headship. She had to agree to everything HE said. Some husbands appear to be fairly decent and caring (e.g. Chad Paine), but Steve does not strike me as this type. She was complicit because she felt she HAD to be. I mean, she wouldn't even ring up Steve to remind him to order pizza- why on Earth would she tell Steve about this depression, especially as depression is not something you can easily solve/doesn't just involve a short 5-minute chat? In their world, divorce is strictly verboten. (Not even sure if they'd allow it for adultery or similar extreme circumstances). She would NOT have been allowed to leave. In the article "The Blessings of Reversal Babies", it was mentioned that it was STEVE who read the Bible and prayed to God about the situation, not Teri. It was him who had the vasectomy, not Teri who had her tubes tied/a hysterectomy. It was all Steve. He has total control. I wonder if he has narcissistic personality disorder. Symptoms include grandiosity about own achievements, requiring excessive admiration, a lack of empathy and being inter-personally exploitative. There are nine main traits, but you only need five for a diagnosis.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissis ... y_disorder

[crawfishgirl]

Our school district, along with almost all school districts in the NY metro area, has days off for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It's purely financial since there's such a large Jewish population, too many students and teachers would be absent on those days. Spring vacation also tends to coincide with Passover. Our school year begins just after Labor Day and ends in late June.

When I was a kid, we had days off for Lincoln's and Washington's birthdays and there was no mid-winter break. That changed once they went to President's Day.

I grew up in Louisiana, and we always had a few days off for Mardi Gras. It's a big deal there and many people are involved with the parades, so it would be next to impossible to actually hold school during that timeframe. Outside of the extreme partying in New Orleans, it was a family event in many areas. Even most businesses were closed. Some people only got off on Fat Tuesday, and others got off from Monday through Wednesday of that week. It was a fun place to be as a kid ;)

[sparkles]

Teri's situation reminds me very much of what Patty Hearst went through. Steve preyed on Teri, wearing her down when she was at her worst and desperate for help. Patty was taken against her will, held hostage and indoctrinated. Both were ultimately broken and when that happened, the oppressed became the oppressor. How much they're responsible for what they've done is up for debate.

That being said, I do actually think that Teri's found peace with her situation and that it has actually helped her cope with depression. Her scheduling, her submission to Steve, her constant prayer—she's offloaded a lot of her burdens and been given structure that she desperately needed and I think she's genuinely happier for it. Many people can navigate the twists and turns and recalculate our route if things go off course—like human GPSes. Teri isn't like that. She doesn't know how to cope. I wish she were a stronger person and had the confidence to stand up for herself but honestly, if surrendering helps her then who's to say it's wrong? It's only the fact that her children have been forced to follow and surrender as well that really bugs me.

[Jana814]

Our school district, along with almost all school districts in the NY metro area, has days off for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It's purely financial since there's such a large Jewish population, too many students and teachers would be absent on those days. Spring vacation also tends to coincide with Passover. Our school year begins just after Labor Day and ends in late June.

I'm in Northern Jersey. The schools r always off for the Jewish Holidays unless its a catholic school. The district by me is back on Sept 2nd. The schools usually start on a Wednesday or Thursday. 2 years ago they started on a Monday because of the Jewish Holiday.

[nokidsmom]

Teri's situation reminds me very much of what Patty Hearst went through. Steve preyed on Teri, wearing her down when she was at her worst and desperate for help. Patty was taken against her will, held hostage and indoctrinated. Both were ultimately broken and when that happened, the oppressed became the oppressor. How much they're responsible for what they've done is up for debate.

That being said, I do actually think that Teri's found peace with her situation and that it has actually helped her cope with depression. Her scheduling, her submission to Steve, her constant prayer—she's offloaded a lot of her burdens and been given structure that she desperately needed and I think she's genuinely happier for it. Many people can navigate the twists and turns and recalculate our route if things go off course—like human GPSes. Teri isn't like that. She doesn't know how to cope. I wish she were a stronger person and had the confidence to stand up for herself but honestly, if surrendering helps her then who's to say it's wrong? It's only the fact that her children have been forced to follow and surrender as well that really bugs me.

Some people, no matter what, will not emotionally strong and surrendering can be the best thing they can do for themselves to cope. It might not seem as the best way to others, but it's the way that works for them. Fine for Teri but unfortunate for the kids stuck in the situation, especially considering that it was so extreme that it stunted them so they don't have any means to get out of it even as adults.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I would like to see a model much like what you described, 3 terms separated because when we have large breaks the loss of knowledge is huge.

We have the track system in Raleigh (Wake County, NC) There are 4 tracks (color coded) and they each have 9 weeks in school, 3 weeks off but they are staggered so that the school is open year round. There are big headaches for the parents when they have multiple kids on different tracks so I believe the school system tries to be accommodating. Here is a color coded chart (It is insanely complicated) :

http://www.wcpss.net/cms/lib/NC01911451/Centricity/Domain/19/2015-16-comprehensive-calendar.pdf

I've not memorized all the ages of the offspring, did Teri ever teach all 8 kids at one time or had the eldest moved on by the time Mary started?

[anjulibai]

Our school district, along with almost all school districts in the NY metro area, has days off for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It's purely financial since there's such a large Jewish population, too many students and teachers would be absent on those days. Spring vacation also tends to coincide with Passover. Our school year begins just after Labor Day and ends in late June.

When I was a kid, we had days off for Lincoln's and Washington's birthdays and there was no mid-winter break. That changed once they went to President's Day.

My last district did, too. They also would not allow any district or school sponsored event to be scheduled on Muslim holidays. I imagine eventually they will have those off, though those move around the Gregorian calendar a lot, which I am sure will cause some difficulties.

I should probably check to see if my new district has the Jewish holidays off, though it would not surprise me if we did.

[RandomTrivia]

We have the track system in Raleigh (Wake County, NC) There are 4 tracks (color coded) and they each have 9 weeks in school, 3 weeks off but they are staggered so that the school is open year round. There are big headaches for the parents when they have multiple kids on different tracks so I believe the school system tries to be accommodating. Here is a color coded chart (It is insanely complicated) :

http://www.wcpss.net/cms/lib/NC01911451/Centricity/Domain/19/2015-16-comprehensive-calendar.pdf

So do the teachers work year round, then, if the school is open year round? Seems like a scheduling headache in some ways (summer camps, vacations, etc), but in other ways, consistency can be really good.

It seems like it would cost more in some ways - utilities etc. Was there any pushback over that from parents or taxpayers? I know one local school - very small and rural - has gone to a 4-day week (Mondays off) with longer hours, trying to save money that way. I'm not sure it's actually been a success at that, though.

[kpmom]

We have the track system in Raleigh (Wake County, NC) There are 4 tracks (color coded) and they each have 9 weeks in school, 3 weeks off but they are staggered so that the school is open year round. There are big headaches for the parents when they have multiple kids on different tracks so I believe the school system tries to be accommodating. Here is a color coded chart (It is insanely complicated) :

http://www.wcpss.net/cms/lib/NC01911451/Centricity/Domain/19/2015-16-comprehensive-calendar.pdf

I've not memorized all the ages of the offspring, did Teri ever teach all 8 kids at one time or had the eldest moved on by the time Mary started?

Oh wow, that is complicated!

In answer to your question, I believe the most students she had at once was 5 (the younger 5 as Sarah calls them). The older 3 would have been out of school by the time Mary started.

While I'm not minimizing trying to teach 5 different aged children, I don't know that it's quite as difficult as Teri made it sound.

Also, she had a full-time assistant in Sarah.

[mango_fandango]

Oh wow, that is complicated!

In answer to your question, I believe the most students she had at once was 5 (the younger 5 as Sarah calls them). The older 3 would have been out of school by the time Mary started.

While I'm not minimizing trying to teach 5 different aged children, I don't know that it's quite as difficult as Teri made it sound.

Also, she had a full-time assistant in Sarah.

Exactly. Nathan is almost 40, I think, whilst Mary is not yet 19. In fact, according to the blog bio, Nathan graduated in 1995, the year before Mary was born.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Some people, no matter what, will not emotionally strong and surrendering can be the best thing they can do for themselves to cope. It might not seem as the best way to others, but it's the way that works for them. Fine for Teri but unfortunate for the kids stuck in the situation, especially considering that it was so extreme that it stunted them so they don't have any means to get out of it even as adults.

I sometimes wonder if Steve insisted on having more kids to prevent Teri from ever leaving him. It's difficult but still possible to pack up three kids and move back in with your parents until you're able to support them yourself. But eight kids? Even if the extended family truly wants to help, who has room for eight kids? And if you're the grandparent or the aunt or the family friend, you'll be taking care of those kids until they reach adulthood because Teri was (and still is) in no shape to pull herself up by her bootstraps.

[SPHASH]

Did Gigi and Grandad ever intervene on Teri's behalf? They lived next door to them for most of Teri's married life so they had to know something was wrong.

[Jana814]

Completely agree that Steve must have insisted on having more kids.

[anjulibai]

Oh wow, that is complicated!

In answer to your question, I believe the most students she had at once was 5 (the younger 5 as Sarah calls them). The older 3 would have been out of school by the time Mary started.

While I'm not minimizing trying to teach 5 different aged children, I don't know that it's quite as difficult as Teri made it sound.

Also, she had a full-time assistant in Sarah.

My grandmother taught for a year or so in a one room school house, with about 20 kids or so, all different ages. She never mentioned being reduced to tears over it, and she had kids that came to school with no food and having had no breakfast (she told me how she'd bring a can of soup every day that she would put in a pot on the radiator in the morning, so those kids could have a hot meal at lunch). I think she generally found it pretty enjoyable and challenging.

[Guest]

The summer off was created when we were agrarian society, we are far from that in this day and age.

Actually, summer vacation was created in the 1950s, so that people suburbanites could take vacations. Fun fact of the day! :)

ETA: I went to find a source for this, but I can't seem to find one... I recently read an article for one of my classes that cited this, but now of course I can't find it!

[HCB]

Oh wow, that is complicated!

In answer to your question, I believe the most students she had at once was 5 (the younger 5 as Sarah calls them). The older 3 would have been out of school by the time Mary started.

While I'm not minimizing trying to teach 5 different aged children, I don't know that it's quite as difficult as Teri made it sound.

Also, she had a full-time assistant in Sarah.

It isn't hard. My favorite youtube mom, Afarmhousefull, does it flawlessly. K, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, and 7th. All at the same time. But she allows herself to be flexible; the opposite of the Maxwells.

I only have two and I'm sort of panicking about teaching them both at the same time soon.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

So do the teachers work year round, then, if the school is open year round? Seems like a scheduling headache in some ways (summer camps, vacations, etc), but in other ways, consistency can be really good.

It seems like it would cost more in some ways - utilities etc. Was there any pushback over that from parents or taxpayers? I know one local school - very small and rural - has gone to a 4-day week (Mondays off) with longer hours, trying to save money that way. I'm not sure it's actually been a success at that, though.

They started going to a track system when there was a huge growth in the population (Raleigh is one of the fasted growing areas in the US.) By using a multitrack they could get more students into the buildings they already had so there was a huge saving on construction costs but an increase in utility costs. Some schools remained traditional calendar and parents were allowed to choose which school they wanted to send their child to: year round schooling or traditional calendar. There have been some hiccups. Right now they have changed too many schools to multitrack and they are under enrolled while the traditional calendar schools are too crowded.

I do know many local camps and art facilities have embraced this because they can offer year round activities.

[SPHASH]

Didn't Teri write once she got so overwhelmed teaching the kids Steve locked the kids in their rooms for a few days until she came around?